Title: A Single Red Rose
Pairing: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T for content
Summary: Song Fic. It was Valentine's Day, and she'd never felt more alone. Character death.
Disclaimer: I own neither Bones nor Linkin Park, although, it'd be fun if I did wouldn't it?
AN: I wrote this after listening to quite a few tracks from the new Linkin Park album, "Minutes to Midnight," which I found to be absolutely amazing. This album is definitely different from their previous albums; it's more mature, and just really good, for lack of a better word, to me. This song fic/one-shot is based on the song, "Valentine's Day." If you haven't given the song a listen, you most certainly should! Now, enough of my blabbering, onto the story!
Silently she tread across the dewy grass. It was about four in the morning, but it didn't matter. Not today, especially not today. It was cool out, a light mist falling from the heavens. Slowly she walked, her head held high, eyes as hard as diamonds, as she clutched the single flower in her hand.
It was Valentine's Day today. Normally, she wouldn't have cared. She would've chalked it up to rubbish. She argued that people shouldn't need one universal day of the year where they were supposed to show the person they, "loved," how much they loved them by showering them with material things. It was all very silly in her opinion, not only a waste of time, but money.
But, with him, it had been different, intimate. On the first year they'd been together for Valentine's Day, he'd surprised with her dinner on the roof of his apartment complex. He'd given her a single long-stemmed rose, with its crimson stained petals. Then they'd gone back to his place. That night, had been a memorable night. They'd christened many areas in his apartment, and the next morning, they'd gotten up sore, muscles aching from their prior activities. But, it had been worth it. She'd never felt so alive. Sure, she wouldn't deny it, she'd had her share of great sex, but this, this she knew despite every sensible fiber in her body telling her otherwise, that this hadn't been just sex.
This, what she had had with him, it had been so real, so unlike anything she'd had for so long.
When she'd spoken to Angela, or more accurately been pestered into relaying the details of their night, Angela hadn't even thought twice to tell her, Brennan, that she was in love.
She'd scoffed at her free-spirited friend. Love was nothing more than chemicals, it wasn't real. It would be there for the moment, and gone the next, there was no sense in attaching yourself to something that would leave eventually. She'd told her these facts of course, only to have them stomped on by Angela's interpretation, or lack of, in her opinion, on love.
"It's not something you can judge, or scrutinize Sweety. You just, it's like… you just know, inside of you, you just know that this guy, this imperfect human being is perfect for you, just because." Angela had told her, smiling.
At that point, she'd simply smiled back. But she knew that what she had, and still felt for him was love, real unadulterated love.
And now, he was gone. The man she loved, Seeley Booth, was gone in every sense of the word.
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
For so long, she'd had no one. Intentional or not, she thought she would've been safer behind her walls.
But then, he'd come along, and he'd broken down those walls, worming his way into her heart, as cliché and ridiculous as it sounded to her, it was the truth.
She'd come to depend on him, trust in him, despite her rationalization that she shouldn't have. He had just made it so easy. He pushed her, more than anyone had ever dared to, and she'd let him, after all, she loved a challenge.
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night
And now, she hadn't a clue to what to do. Everyday, at the Jeffersonian, she'd simply go through the motions. She'd get up, get ready, go to work, and then back to what had been their apartment.
Without him, although she would never admit it to anyone other than him, she wasn't sure what she would do with herself. He'd changed her, and she knew it. But she knew it had been for the better, then again she thought bitterly, she hadn't thought that this would happen, that he'd be taken from her.
Why?
She'd lay in bed at night; face dry as the tears simply refused to come, wondering why it was that he had to be taken from her. Why was it that in the end, she'd always ended up alone?
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
She glanced up at the now angry clouds, as she arrived at his tombstone, she thought back to the day they'd buried him.
FLASHBACK:
Angela, Hodgins, Zach, Cam, Sid, Parker, Rebecca, his parents, some of his co-workers, along with people he'd known in the Army and even her father had come to the funeral. They were all gathered there to pay their respects.
It had been a gloomy day; the sky was angry, near-black in color, as the wind whipped about. She stood with Angela to her right and Parker to her left, each of her hands clasped firmly in theirs.
Around her, she watched everyone, all teary-eyed, but she, she stood watching the Minister speak about how unfortunate it was that they were there on this day.
Silently, her lifeless eyes focused on the events in front of her, as she watched as they lowered his casket into the ground, and suddenly, it was like the air around her had turned icy, as she swore she'd felt his hand on her shoulder. It was almost as if he was trying to shake her awake from this horrible nightmare. Disentangling her hand from Angela's for a moment, she reached up; unable to stop herself from checking to see if what she'd felt had been real.
Feeling nothing but air and her warm skin, she glanced back behind her to see a guest. Shaking her head, she felt stupid, 'of course he hadn't touched your shoulder you idiot, he's dead!' She told herself angrily.
When the service was over, she'd left, after talking to her father. "It's going to be hard Tempe, and it's going to hurt. But baby girl, don't you be afraid to be scared. You don't be afraid to cry Tempe, he won't think any less of you. He still loves you." He'd told her, tears swimming in his own eyes as his lips twitched upwards into a small, sad smile.
"He's dead dad. It's kind of hard to love someone when you're six feet under." She'd told him angrily, her sapphire eyes cloudy.
He'd simply given her a kiss on the cheek, and walked away, throwing a few words over his shoulder: "He's only really dead if you let him be Tempe."
She stood, watching him walk away as she her quick as lightening mind processed what he'd just told her, but she didn't understand. What was she supposed to do? Try to resuscitate a man lying in a casket? Shaking her head, she walked to her car, pausing for a beat as she looked back over the cemetery, the scene burning into her memory, before she got in, and drove away.
END FLASHBACK
So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone
She hadn't been back since that day. In her mind, it didn't make sense coming today, he hadn't died on Valentine's Day, but still, today, when she'd woken, she knew that this was something she had to do. Dare she say it, but, she was trusting her gut on this one.
Today, she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to be as lonely as she felt.
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
Sitting down in front of his headstone, she gently reached her empty hand out, touching the rough stone softly, as if she was caressing his face as he kissed her.
God she missed his kisses, she missed his smell, waking up to see him in the morning. She missed him always badgering her, correcting her when she messed up a pop-culture reference, forcing her out of the Lab to go grab a bite with him.
Up until today, she'd been able to take it in strides. But today, when she'd woken, a part of her heart felt as though it had twisted itself into a pretzel when she'd realized that this year, she was in fact alone.
This was the first Valentine's Day in years that he wouldn't be there to surprise her with something silly, but so cute and sweet that she couldn't help but love him more for it. But it was never the surprises that made her fall deeper for him, it was just the thought, just the smile on his face, it was just Booth.
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
This year, she'd go home to an empty apartment, no Booth, no aches in the morning, nothing.
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
Quietly she spoke, looking at the engraving on the headstone, without really seeing it. "Hey Booth, it's me, Bones," she said with a small smile. "It's Valentine's Day, so…" She began again, stopping short as the memories of previous Valentine's Days before flooded back into her memory. Taking a breath, she continued on, "I… I just came to say… Well I don't know why I'm here really, I just, and I miss you, so much Booth. And, I thought that maybe you would hear me, you know? So that you'd know that I still remember you Booth, that I still love you. And, even if I look stupid, sitting here, talking to an inanimate object, you were the one that told me that this was good, to talk. So here I am… I want you back; I wish you were here with me Booth, with everyone. I don't know what to do here anymore. I feel so stupid." She told the headstone, her voice just barely audible.
Looking at the grey matter that made up his gravestone in front of her, she slowly stood up unable to bring herself to say anymore. Stooping down for a second, she rested the single red rose in front of his headstone before turning away, ready to make her way back to her car.
And finally seated behind the wheel of her car, the tears came, rolling down her cheeks, one after the other, a thunderstorm occurring within her. Her heart pumped away, emotions filling her veins, pain she never thought she could feel without sustaining injuries plaguing her.
The wind whispered around her, blowing the grass this way and that.
Wiping away her final tears, she nodded her head as if agreeing with someone as she realized what it was her father had been saying on the day of his burial.
"He's only really dead if you let him be Tempe." She recalled.
And with that thought in mind, she turned the key in the ignition, starting up her car before speeding away.
"Happy Valentine's Day Booth," she whispered, looking up at the Heavens.
AN: I hope it was worth your time! I know it was kind of odd, I apologize if it was a little OOC, it was just the way it came out. Thanks for readings. I'd love to get some feedback. C'mon, don't be shy, press that lovely button! )
- angel6
