It had been a little over a month since they had left their lives without a second thought. With each passing day, the more the hospital, the drug addiction, and even the cancer seemed like bad dreams. House and Wilson each took turns following the other's lead, as neither were really invested in where they ended up. It was all about the fact that they were getting there with each other, providing them the perfect end to how the past two decades had been lived.
At the moment, Wilson had flagged House down signaling that he wanted to stop next to a secluded stretch of beach. Two hours ago, they noted that they had crossed into North Carolina and were somewhere near the coast, though they had no idea where exactly they were. Leaving their bikes parked on the shoulder of the road, they proceeded down the bank to the beach.
Sitting down heavily next to one another, they were eager to take their boots off to give their feet a chance for circulation and rest. Wilson was the first to speak, "It feels so strange to just enjoy this without thinking about when it ends."
"Just enjoy yourself and stop overthinking it." House said, but nodding agreement at the same time.
They were quiet for several minutes, the only sound being the gentle waves stopping mere yards from their feet.
House was the one to break the silence this time, "Nothing's turned out like I thought it would, Wilson."
Wilson looked at him surprised and completely unsure of how to tread, given that House rarely divulges his true thoughts voluntarily. "What do you mean?"
"When I became a cripple.." Wilson grimaced at House's choice of words, but House continued. "I didn't think my already miserable life would be worth living." …. "But I was wrong."
Wilson could only stare in amazement at this confession, silently willing House to continue, knowing better than to say anything that might scare him back into himself.
"My life is worth living because of you. Everyone thinks that the puzzle is the only thing that kept me coming back everyday to save more lives, but really, I get up every morning because I know that I will get the chance to see you."
Wilson felt his heart stop beating and a knot forming in his throat while House continued, "And I still can't fully grasp that you won't be…" House trailed off, unable to acknowledge aloud what they were running from and to at the same time.
The sun began its slow descent, and they listened to the occasional car pass them by. For them time was standing still while the rest of the world carried on, much like when they were sitting on the couch in front of the TV during their Friday night ritual, unaware of the world spinning outside.
Wilson finally felt comfortable enough to thickly state, "Nothing turned out like I thought it would either, you know."
House turned to look at Wilson who explained, "By now, I should have been in a marriage, with one or two kids, and living in some picturesque house in a neighborhood with other people doing the same thing. And for the longest time, I told myself that I wouldn't be fulfilled until I had these things."
House frowned, lamenting his friend's sadness. Hence, he was surprised to hear, "But I realized that I've been happy for a long time."
"What?" House asked.
"You make me happy, House." Wilson said, simply. House could do nothing but smile, and he would have given anything just to remain in this moment forever. Nothing could be better. However, he realized quickly that it could when he felt Wilson's arm come under his and their hands and fingers intertwined.
House's breathing briefly shifted, but he recovered and allowed himself to drown in the previously forbidden closeness between him and his friend. Their shoulders were gently resting against each other and Wilson commented, "This is nice, isn't it?"
House could only bring himself to say, "Yeah."
"I'm just sad that it took this long…" Wilson added.
"I love you, Wilson." House blurted out, not caring about the risk of Wilson's rejection.
…"I love you too, House." Wilson said.
The sun was getting dangerously close to leaving them in total darkness, and both of them regretted that they had to leave then if they were going to head into town with only a shred of natural light left. They did not speak again until they had settled into the room of a local hotel, not terribly far from the shore.
They were each exhausted after another long day of hard riding and the energy spent relaxing in their recent emotional revelations that had always been there. Leaning back into their respective beds, they did not even bother with the pretense of a TV distraction. Wilson turned to House and asked, "What are you thinking about?"
House huffed and shot back, "What do you think?"
Wilson nodded knowingly, "I'm glad you told me. It makes me feel really special. You don't toss around words like that to just anybody."
House said, "I want so much for you. I want you to have that house with the kids. I want you to be alive. I want you with me." For the first time since Wilson told House about his cancer, House began to cry, softly.
Wilson got out of his bed and House scooted over to make room for him when he sat down on House's bed. Wilson moved his head to lay on House's shoulder while his hand gently stroked House's cheek, wiping away his tears. "Shhh. It's ok, Greg. Cancer is boring, remember?" House gasped as he heard Wilson call him by his first name. They could count on one hand the times they used each other's first names.
"James, I don't know what I'm going to do without you." House said.
"You will be fine. I know it's hard to think about now, but you will live. You're so strong, House." Wilson said, reassuringly.
"Not strong enough to save you." House said, feeling completely defeated and lost.
"You have saved me, House. Because of you, I feel free. I can say or feel anything I want when I'm with you, and it's ok. I don't have to pretend or put time and energy into acting like someone I'm not." Wilson said smiling, House now facing him.
"I'd do anything for you, James." House said.
"I know you would, Greg. I would do the same for you." Wilson added.
"I love you." "I love you too." They both said, just above whispers.
They shared their first kiss, tentatively at first, but it grew until they were sharing the height of the pent up years of love they had hidden from each other.
"We wasted so much time, Wilson." House said.
"Let's just enjoy the time we have left, House. I wouldn't trade tonight for anything." Wilson replied.
"I'm not going to let you go, Wilson." House said, arms around his dearest friend.
"I know, House."
Sleep found them soon after, and when they woke, they set off to their next arbitrary destination with little change. Their feelings were out in the open now, though, and, with this acceptance of what their feelings for each other had always been, they were prepared to live every moment left together as if it was their last. Glancing at Wilson every so often as they wordlessly flew down the highway alongside each other, House became shocked and afraid that he now had a sense of peace toward Wilson's impending death. With Wilson's love, he would survive the loss of Wilson, and be able to live and grow old without him because he knew he needed nothing else.
Speeding up, Wilson yelled to House as he passed him, "Keep up, if you can!" House just smirked, and yelled back revving his engine, "You're on, slowpoke!"
