A/N: Why? Because I recently read Good Omens and can't listen to the titular song without snickering now. And because I quickly realised that there were a few more on my iPod that also had added lulz when imagined in this scenario. And for the record, no, I do not have any idea when or where this takes place except, apparently, after 2007 because music.


"Crowley, you are six thousand years old, this is very immature," Aziraphale said crossly.

This did not, however, stop Crowley from thumping the steering wheel with his hands and banging his head in time with the music and, oh God in Heaven, now he was singing, and Aziraphale was blushing.

"I wish I had an angel! For one mo-ment of love!"

"Really, my dear, stop it!"

"I wish I had your angel, your—"

The demon smirked lasciviously at his friend.

"—Virgin Mary undone!"

"This is simply tasteless!" the angel spluttered.

"I'm in loooove with my lust! Burning angel wings to dust!" Crowley sang with absolutely indecent relish.

"Cr-Crowley…" Aziraphale was redder than the proverbial beet (real beets were purple, anyway).

"I wish I had your angel tonight!"

"I'm not hearing this, I'm not hearing this…" the angel groaned, pressing his hands to his ears as the once-melodic tune devolved into metal screams, replicated none-too-expertly by the demon in the driver's seat.

"I wish I had an angel, I wish I had an angel, I WISH I HAD AN ANGEEEEEEEL!"

As the final three drumbeats died away and Crowley descended into a bout of hysterical laughter (all due emphasis on the hiss), Aziraphale may or may not have muttered, "I hate you."

The fact that it was Aziraphale made it unlikely. The fact that a mysterious 'glitch' on the behalf of Crowley's shiny new CD player caused it to skip the next track, however, made it entirely plausible. As the sounds of Planet Hell filled the Bentley, Aziraphale came to realise that he had two options.

One: Amend the Arrangement so that Crowley never played this album—or at the very least THAT SONG—in his presence again.

Two: Find out if the Queen trick worked on discs as well.

Hmm, Two had definite possibilities. Now all he needed to do was figure out how to keep Once in the car for more than two weeks without A) committing any major sins or B) Crowley figuring it out…

"…any form of lust in you will tremble~! At my touch…"

Aziraphale frowned suddenly as he finally managed to process more than the bad, bad lyrics.

"Wait, Crowley?"

"I come down from Heaven's light! I have all the perfect al-i-bis!"

"Crowley, this isn't the same album! It's not even the same artist!"

"There's so much!"

"Crowley, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you!?"

"I will show you everything so vividly! You won't deny me!"

"Just watch me, my dear…just watch me."

And so Aziraphale settled in for the longest car ride of his immortal life, hands clapped firmly over his ears and a flush over his cheek as heavy, stubborn, and obnoxiously pink as over-applied blusher.

For the return trip, Aziraphale invested in a pair of earplugs. It may or may not have been a coincidence that the moment he put them in, Crowley's CD player malfunctioned again—and the tape deck—thus forcing the use of the radio. But whether or not it was the result of divine intervention, there was most definitely a certain irony in the device's newfound proclivity for the Spice Girls.


A/N: *fidgets* I actually…don't totally hate the Spice Girls. Well, I mean, I do, except Wannabe has nostalgic value for me, so even though I don't like 'em, I feel kind of guilty for using them as Aziraphale's revenge. Then again, I actually LOVE Nightwish and Kamelot, and in fact these are some of my favorite songs and those are what the angel is taking revenge for, so really, perspective. Speaking of which…

Songs mentioned/used are:

-Wish I Had an Angel

Album: Once

Artist: Nightwish

-Planet Hell

Album: Once

Artist: Nightwish

-Descent of the Archangel

Album: Epica

Artist: Kamelot