Author's Note:

Behold! I am alive and yes I know this isn't a chapter of The Headmaster's Wife (it is coming...so is Christmas!) but I had to get into writing again after my annus horribilis and when I received this prompt from one of my Tumblr lovelies, I had to write this. The inspiration came quickly and was something that a very "supportive friend" of mine once said. I won't tell you exactly what we were talking about, but two of our favourite Slytherins in a certain situation were mentioned.

So here we go...the next chapter will be up in a couple of days.

It's not been seen by le beta so all my mistakes are entirely mine own. And be kind, I haven't written in so long that it's going to be rather rough! Just let me know if you find any mistakes via pm. Ta muchly!

Usual warnings apply: Adult themes...lemons (if I can remember how to write naughtiness) to follow.

And I own nowt except my imagination and lots of new things because I've moved house.


Escape to Threesome

Chapter One

Grimmauld Place had undergone a significant make-over since Harry Potter had seen to the end of Lord Voldemort four years ago, and Hermione Granger hated it. More to the point, she hated being there especially at New Year. She hated the fact that her job in Magical Law Enforcement seemed to be going nowhere and she was trapped in a relationship with Ron Weasley. She was yet again comforting Harry after another break up with Ginny, and where she wanted to be...well, she'd be admitted to the Janus Thickey ward if anyone ever found out.

It was the day before New Year's Eve, and the front door banged shut. Harry stilled, his eyes wide with fear as he listened carefully to where the footsteps from the hallway would lead.

"I thought you said he was going out tonight?" he whispered accusingly, inwardly cursing how the shock was causing his cock to become uncooperative in the midst of what had been the best sex he'd had since he and Ginny had made up last year.

"He said he was, and I told him I was going out, too, to be doubly safe. Look, just keep going," Hermione hissed back frustratedly as Ron's untimely return had ruined the build up to her first orgasm in over a year. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but it was nice having someone else give her one rather than relying on her ever growing collection of toys. And she was equally annoyed with the begging tone in her voice as she reached up to touch Harry's face. "Please. He won't come into your room if he thinks you're shagging."

"Oh shit! Fuck!" Harry scrunched up his face as if in pain.

Hermione pushed herself up onto her elbows and glared at her lover. "What?"

Harry hung his head and sighed deeply before pulling from her and rolling onto his back. Reaching for his glasses, he put them on and puffed out a breath.

His silence was annoying and, without looking at him, Hermione repeated her question as footsteps were heard walking towards Harry's room.

"Quickly!" he urged, sitting up abruptly and turning to stare deeply into Hermione's eyes. "Look!"

Understanding immediately, Hermione intoned Legilimens and watched the scene forming in Harry's mind.

Harry and Ron were sat in the kitchen. It was a few days ago. She recognised the remains of her pathetic attempt at a Christmas cake and the newly arrived pile of pies courtesy of Molly. She hated how Molly always made her feel so inadequate in the kitchen. She wasn't overly surprised to hear Ron discussing how boring he found his sex life and was telling Harry of Hermione's reluctance when he raised the suggestion of having a threesome to spice things up a little.

She certainly wasn't surprised to learn that Harry and Ginny had indulged, on occasion, but Ron was, and then Hermione's heart sank. She heard Harry say, "Well, you know—and only if you're alright with me being there and not two girls—then maybe if I have someone round you can join in. You know the kind of girls I get to pick up when I'm single."

"Yeah, they throw themselves at you, mate," Ron chuckled before the smile fell from his lips. "Trouble is, I'm not single."

"What she doesn't know," Harry suggested mischievously.

Ron looked at his friend incredulously. "Really? I mean...she'll go mental if she finds out, and—"

"—but she needs to find out. And I won't tell if you don't. Look, next time I'm shagging some bird, just walk in. I'm sure we can persuade her between us."

"That's kind of fucked up," Ron mused, his conscience pricking him. "But part of me is well up for it."

"I can tell," Harry smirked. "You certainly aren't levitating this table magically!"

Hermione ripped from Harry's mind. "You bastards!," she growled. "Do you think he heard us? Do you think he...?"

"You weren't exactly being quiet, and did you cast a Silencing charm?"

"Fuck!" they gasped together as their attention became focused on the slowly turning doorknob.

Hermione swallowed hard. She could Apparate away, but maybe this was a good thing. It would bring the deficiencies in their relationship to a head, but she knew that even though Ron was contemplating playing away, he would become an excellent victim in the eyes of his mother.

"Sorry to interrupt, mate,"Ron said rakishly, poking his head around the door. His face froze. "What the hell is...?"

The redhead didn't know who to address or where to look as he saw his best friend and girlfriend naked on the bed.

"Ron, I can explain," Harry started, a sudden flash of inspiration hitting him. "Look, I told Hermione everything that we talked about. She felt bad and said that if she was going to have a threesome with anyone it would be with you and someone she feels safe with...with me. She just wanted us to get used to each other before...well, we knew that if she told you she was going out, you'd come home on the off chance that I was entertaining."

Impressed by her friend's quick thinking, Hermione suddenly hoped that Harry hadn't seen into her mind whilst they were connected. Because in reality, she wasn't opposed to the idea of a threesome...just to having a threesome with Ron. No, she had other candidates in mind and she found it hard admitting their identities to herself, let alone to anyone else.

She was dragged out of her thoughts when she heard Ron say, "Right. OK. Well, how are we going to do this?"

"Take your clothes off and get over here?" Hermione offered, strangely relieved that her infidelity was being covered up. They were all, after all, consenting adults and Ron did want this.

What followed was awkward, clumsy and logistically challenging and Hermione was left wondering whether being with two men at the same time was actually worth it. Oh, the boys certainly enjoyed themselves, but as she lay there once again without an orgasm, listening to them both snoring away, she felt sadder than she had in a long time. Even the fantasy that had sustained her in her darkest hours now seemed likely to be an utter disappointment.


Thoroughly pissed off and dejected, Hermione sat in her office on New Year's Eve staring blankly at the rubber plant that she had adopted from the previous incumbent.

"Granger," the dark voice snapped from in front of her desk.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, spinning her chair round to face the man seeking her attention. "Sorry, Severus, I was distracted," she giggled to cover her embarrassment at being caught daydreaming.

"Clearly."

"Just got a lot on my mind," she shrugged, realising why Severus Snape was stood in her office. "Have you come for this?" she asked as she began searching through a pile of files.

Snape's eyebrow arched inquisitively. "My original intent was to relieve you of a particular file, but now I think I have something much more interesting to obtain from you. Anything that plagues the waking thoughts of Hermione Granger must be of great import. I hope you know that after all you have done to assist me over the last few years that you can come to me with your troubles. And I should imagine you have quite a few redheaded ones."

"No, honestly, Severus I'm fine. It's nothing," Hermione protested sweetly, pulling out the file she was looking for and holding it out to him.

Severus snorted, taking it from her. She had been distracted for weeks and it was becoming annoying. "Don't lie to me. It is something and you know I have ways of finding out."

Hermione gave him a half smile. "Yes, I know you do, but last time you tried that you got slapped."

"This is true, but I was rather obvious in my attempt on that occasion. I am usually far more subtle," the former professor turned consultant Auror informed her with a smirk. "Is that ink?" he asked, the movement of his hand indicating the offending blot's location to be near the witch's nose.

"What? Where?" asked Hermione in a panic, desperately swiping her fingers over her skin.

"It's still there. Allow me," Severus offered, pulling the handkerchief that had appeared at his cuff and started wiping Hermione's face. "It's being rather stubborn," he said apologetically before completing his task, which had nothing to do with cleaning the non existent smudge.

"Much better," he quipped before adding, "Well, if you are sure I cannot be of assistance, then I shall take my leave for the moment." And with a curt nod, Severus Snape swept out of her office.


The young witch would have been lying if she'd said that she hadn't given this encounter a second thought for the rest of the day. In fact, she had given it a number of thoughts. But it wasn't until she got home that she realised why it had been on her mind so much.

On the kitchen table was an envelope addressed to her. She opened it carefully and stared at the short missive.

Malfoy Manor. Nine o'clock tonight.

Severus will be in attendance .

LM

The bastard had looked!


AN2: Please let me know what you think. I will go back and revise the horrific grammar and mistakes, but after so long in the writing wilderness, I was excited to get this published.