Title: Subconscious or Otherwise

Rating: 'T'

Summary: A closer look at one at the more "intimate" moments of the debacle that was Dean and Rory's season 5 relationship. Probably not for Narco fans.

Notes: This took me over a year to finish. So, I'm really nervous about posting it. Comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!!

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Her pants are around her ankles. Why are her pants around her ankles?

They should be completely off.

In truth, they should be completely on, but she made a decision, subconscious or otherwise, and she's not going to back out now. She's a big girl, an adult, and she wants this. That's what she keeps telling herself, at least.

Still, her pants should be off and there should be a bed, or at least carpet and not the cold hardwood burning against her back.

They should be in a house, or at least behind a locked door of some kind, not in a dance studio, a place for town meetings, a place for friends to gather. A place owned by neither of them. Fucking on the floor while life goes on as normal inches away and anyone could come in to catch them.

Still, her pants should be off and her shirt should be too, not just bunched up around her neck as he blindly gropes under the soft cotton cups of her bra. He pinches and grabs and she thinks it hurts but she's sort of numb and she's not sure.

Still, her pants should be off - so should his, not just hovering around his hips, the cotton of his boxers shoved down just enough to expose the part of him he was so viciously thrusting into her.

Her pants should be off, but he shudders and grunts and it's suddenly over and she didn't come but he doesn't seem to notice or doesn't seem to care but she doesn't either, not really. After a moment, he strokes her hair and tells her she's beautiful before rolling over and adjusting himself.

She pulls her shirt down while he mutters something about "so amazing" and she almost asks him what he's referring to.

Fucking on the floor of Miss Patty's dance studio? The floor where she took ballet lessons 11 years ago?

It's not amazing, she wants to retort. It's almost sick.

Instead she gives him a small smile, avoiding his gaze while she slips her jeans back up past her hips.

It's better that her pants weren't off, she figures. It's better to pick up and go, to avoid the task of locating strewn clothing. A task that would give her too much time to think.

And she's finding that it's better to not think too much, especially about this situation. Her teenage rebellion come five years too late.