Disclaimer: Yikes! I haven't written a fanfic in a while. If my writing's.... different, it's because I've been writing lots of original pieces... Once again, I don't own Calvin and Hobbes. And this story, sad to say, is slightly (I use that term loosely, please note) based on a real life experience in 6th grade... That's where some (make that all) of the portions from the script come from.

Miss Wormwood stood at the front of her classroom, beaming at her students. "Good news, class!" she said. "We're having a new class play!"

"Again?" Tommy Chestnut asked, raising an eyebrow at Miss Wormwood.

"Yes, Tommy. This time, our play will be Hansel and Gretel. I'm sure you know that story." There was a nod of heads in the classroom, and Miss Wormwood continued. "Tryouts will be tomorrow after school. Susie, please pass these out to everyone in the class."

Susie Derkins stood up and walked up to Miss Wormwood. She handed her a pile of folders. "These are the scripts. You may read over them if you would like to, but if you aren't going to try out, bring it back tomorrow."

When Calvin got his script, he opened up to the front page. "Oh brother," he muttered as he read the first few lines. "That's a dumb song. It's all about Susie..." Calvin made a face in Susie's direction, and she shot a glare at him. Calvin put on a high, falsetto voice and read the words.

"Susie, little Susie now what is the news? The geese are going barefoot because they've no shoes." Calvin lowered its voice down to a normal pitch, and poked Susie on the shoulder when she sat down in the seat across from him.

"What, Calvin?" she asked, sighing.

"Why aren't the geese wearing shoes? They need shoes, Susie! Get their shoes!"

"CALVIN!"

Calvin gulped and slowly turned around in his seat. Standing menacing next to his desk was Miss Wormwood. "Enough of that. Settle down."

"Yes, Miss Wormwood," Calvin mumbled, looking at the ground.

That night, as Hobbes was brushing his teeth, Calvin opened up the script for his play. For a full five seconds, Calvin skimmed the first page, then lost interest. "Feh, this is stupid," he muttered.

"What is?" Hobbes asked, coming into the room.

"This," Calvin said, and thrust the script under Hobbes's nose.

"'Gretel, I'm sick of making brooms.'" He gave the script back to Calvin. "What's so bad about that?"

"Who makes brooms nowadays? No one! We have vacuum cleaners! Brooms are old fashioned!" Calvin threw his arms up in frustration.

"That's your only problem with this script?" Hobbes asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Well, think about it... you could play the part of Hansel," Hobbes said, trying hard not to laugh.

"Right, Hobbes. Like I'd play the part of Hansel..." Calvin muttered darkly.

"Think about it," Hobbes said slowly. "You'd have fame..."

"Fame?" Calvin said, looking up. "I'd be famous?"

"Yeah!" Hobbes held up his hands. "See Calvin in his first road to fame- as Hansel!"

"Yeah..." Calvin said dreamily, and fell back on his pillow. Soon he was snoring gently.

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes sat in the auditorium at Calvin's elementary school. Miss Wormwood was standing on the stage, calling various groups of students up to read from the script.

"Alright," Miss Wormwood said. "Calvin, Susie, Tommy, please come up here and read."

Obediently, the three shuffled up to the stage, scripts in hand. "Tommy, I want you to read Hansel. Susie, please read Gretel. Oh, and Calvin, read the Sandman."

Calvin's jaw slackened. "Th- th- the Sandman?"

"Yes. Calvin, you have the first line."

"Oh, fine," Calvin mumbled. He pulled the script closer to his nose and began reading. "Don't be frightened. I'm the Sandman. Oohhh that's heavy. Pull bag down from shoulder. Oops! Not supposed to read that part! It takes a lot of sand to close all the eyes of all the children of the world. That's stupid! Why-"

"Thank you, Calvin!" Miss Wormwood said quickly, ushering Calvin off the stage. He sat down next to Hobbes.

"How'd I do?" Calvin asked the tiger.

"Erm... adjectives are escaping me," Hobbes said, avoiding Calvin's eyes.

After several minutes, Miss Wormwood made an announcement on the parts. "Thank you, everyone for trying out. Hansel will be played by... Tommy Chestnut!"

"WHAT?" Calvin jumped up and shouted. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"

"Calvin, sit down! You can't have every part you want!"

"YES I CAN!" Calvin screamed, not sitting down. "I'M CALVIN, GREATEST MIND IN THE WORLD! WHY DIDN'T I GET HANSEL?"

"Sit down, and you'll see the part I've given you, young man!" Miss Wormwood bellowed at Calvin, making him quaver.

"It'd better be good," Calvin muttered to Hobbes.

"Playing the role of Gretel will be Susie Derkins." Miss Wormwood drawled on and on, assigning people parts, when she got to Calvin. "Calvin, you'll be playing the Sandman."

If Calvin was upset when he didn't get Hansel, he certainly was now. He jumped up in his seat, and grabbed Hobbes. "Why?" he asked venomously.

"Because, you can fill the role well. With another student's help, like Miss Derkins, you can improve. Maybe when you get to second grade you can play a role that you want. But please, Calvin, sit down!" Miss Wormwood picked Calvin up by the scruff of his shirt and sat him back down in his chair, none to gently.

"Now, I have one last role to give. Ah, yes! The part of the witch! The witch is being played by a Senior, giving her time to help us. Her name is Rosalyn!"