Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
I hope you like it!
This was like a car wreck, a horrible car wreck being watched in slow motion. She knew she should look away and give him a bit of privacy, something no one else was affording him, but it was almost impossible. Someone had hexed Draco Malfoy to say what he truly wanted to about a person when he looked at them. So far he'd told Professor Snape that he needed a rather strong hair conditioning potion, Professor McGonagall that the 'wand stuck up her arse' wasn't his fault and to stop acting as if it was, and Professor Dumbledore was told that a Lemon Drop would be shoved up his nose if he didn't stop trying to 'pawn them off on the young and unsuspecting'.
"I am scared of snakes!"
She watched as Harry had the grace to hide his laughter but sighed as Ron clutched his sides and almost fell backwards in his mirth.
"Pansy is a complete slag who will spread her legs to anyone who blinks at her!"
"You BASTARD!" a shriek came from the Slytherin table that had the glasses rattling.
"Blaise Zabini spends hours in front of the mirror practicing his expressions!"
The girls in the Great Hall bit their lips to wisely silence themselves while some boys looked around looking almost relieved at the revelation. It seemed, Hermione thought, he wasn't the only one.
"Whoever cast the bloody spell on him better un-cast it NOW!" Blaise growled as he sent a murderess glare to anyone who would make eye contact with him.
"Oi, how long did that one take to get right?" Ron called before his dissolved into laughter once more.
"Ron Weasley is scared of spiders and almost pissed himself Sixth year in Potions when he worked with live Daddy Long Leg young!" that bit of truth was told with a smug look as well as a smirk.
Ron sobered and his entire body turned a bright read as all eyes turned to him. Hermione giggled at that revelation and snorted when the red head only sipped his Pumpkin Juice and sent her a mild glare.
"Harry Potter sleeps with a picture of Oliver Wood under his pillow at night!"
Hermione laughed before she could stop herself and sent Harry an apologetic glance before she returned her gaze to the Hex-ed Malfoy only to find his gaze now on her. She felt the blood drain from her face and looked at Harry and Ron to see them both trying to hide a smirk as they saw she was next in line.
"Hermione Granger has been sneaking into my rooms for the past year and she has taken the wards down so I can enter hers as well!"
The Hall went silent and she could feel over two hundred sets of eyes focused on her in shock. She looked at Harry then Ron to see twin looks of shock and slight disgust on their faces before an outburst at the Gryffindor table refocused everyone's attention.
"Ha, I knew it!" Ginny said triumphantly as she stood up and slapped her hand down on the table before she turned pink. "I knew there was something going on between you two, I just knew it."
"It was you, Gin'?" Harry asked after breaking out of his stupor at the sudden declaration, sounding almost a bit scared of what his ex-girlfriend was capable of.
"Well…yeah," she said quietly as she realized most of the great hall was staring at her with looks ranging from hatred (Slytherins) to new found respect (most of Gryffindor).
Hermione let her mouth hang slack as she looked at her closest female friend but snapped it shut when Lord Big-Mouth began talking again.
"Ginny Weasley has been sneaking into the Ravenclaw common room to see Antry Kenner's for the past sixth months."
"Finite Incantatem," the blushing red head muttered before sitting down quickly and lowering her head.
"Ginerva Weasley," Hermione hissed after Draco made a hasty retreat to the Head Dorms. "Why on earth did you do that?"
"You've been acting weird ever since the new school term started and so has Malfoy. I wanted to know why," the younger girl explained with a shrug before looking at her brother and 'tsk-ing'. "Honestly Ron, I'm a big girl now, stop looking as thought your Puffskein's been killed."
"Who is he?" he demanded as he turned murderous eyes on the Ravenclaw table, letting his gaze stop every so often of those he thought might be capable of seducing his sister.
"He's on the end, there," Hermione supplied all too happily before standing up to follow Draco to their dorms to see how he was doing.
She'd just made it out of the doors when she was stopped by the very man she was looking for.
"I think Weaslette bit off more than she could chew with that one, what about you?" he asked grabbing her arm and leading her off to their dorm.
"That's all you have to say?" she asked, surprised and a bit wary at his good mood.
"There's nothing much I can do now, it's already done. It was going to get out anyway," he reasoned with a smile.
"You're making me nervous, you know, not wanting to do anything about this," she said when they got to the portrait and he let her in.
"Oh, I never said I wasn't going to do anything about it. I'm just following what I read in one of the books you had me read."
"And what would that be?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
With a smile she knew meant 'up to no good' he answered.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
I don't plan on writing the revenge, I think it's best left to the imagination.
