Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss is boss. I don't profit. Please don't sue. I'm eating Ramen and have been using the same backpack for going on 5 years now. :)

A/N: This is JUST a stream of thoughts. No real dialogue or "story telling" it can be a little hard to follow I think as we jump from Jayne to River. But, as she's a moony genius and he's...well... Jayne - I hope the voices of the charactars help! :) Read and review. I live for feedback! :) And Ramen.

(Don't know how far this one will go.. thinking only a couple chapters.)


And he sits, brooding, angry, contemplating his next move. I scare him. I spell danger, bad news drips from every inch of me. He can't take his eyes off me. Not. To. Be. Trusted. Never can tell what I'll do. Blades and fists and guns and crazy written all over me. Sleep with one eye open. In fact, don't sleep at all.

Gorram Paraetheans. Cheatin', lyin', no good sombitches. Hate every time we come to this piece of go se rock. Why can't people just pay for a job well done so that I can get my 10% and be on my way? Ruttin' loony ass girl done saved my sorry pi gu again though. Glad she's on our side. Holy zhu fuen chse, did I just think that? I'm goin' loonier than bat shi…

Jayne! Why in the good gorram would you pull Vera on them like that? No gorram sense in the 'Verse. Your rage and sense of obligation clouds your rationality. Sulk, you blundering buffoon. Can't yell at me for putting you in red when you're so good at it yourself. My nemesis, enemy, adversary, betrayer. My Judas. My sweet Judas; too stubborn to show your remorse, too headstrong to admit sorrow. Too clumsy to hide it from me though. The hand pushing the small of my back gently ducking me behind cover. The smiles and twirling when the bad guys are vanquished. It always fades back to mean ol' Jayne though. The tough mercenary that assumes a Callahan full-bore auto-lock with a customized trigger, double cartridge and thorough gauge was the best thing in the 'Verse for him. The ticker tape of his affection gets washed in the mire of expectations and restrictions and all I'm left with are the trails of electricity that dance around his memories.

S.P.E.S.H.U.L. HELL. That's where I'm headed. She ain't gotta bat them gorram big eyes at me, or feel so gorram good when I twirl her around. Small enough she needs my protectin' but frightenin' enough to handle her own. Niao shi de du-gui! So this is what it feels like to be humped. Royally. I'm just gonna lay here, half the gorram night now and toss and turn til I rub one off and pass out. This ain't no way for a man to live. Ponderin' and hidin' in my bunk from nightmare fantasy girls not more'n 20 metres from me. Should just go grab her an' make her mine. Ha! Mal couldn't space me if he dies of one a those aneur… anu… brain things the doc always blabbers on about. Wonder if she's got little tiny nipples or… S.P.E.S.H.U.L! Shouldn't be thinkin' like that on somethin' that innocent, that feng le. Oh well, ain't no one in my thoughts but me. Well, maybe her. Ha, it'd serve her right for… well… for… bein' so gorram gorgeous. Just gonna get outta these gorram clothes and just lay back and – just take matters into my own hands. Yeah, yeah just like that. Just use a couple fingers pretends it's her tiny hands. Just like that.

Cold. So cold. Hard metal. Such warm flesh just on the other side. Jayne! Did I just say that out loud? Quiet. Quiet little milkmaid. The scandal will overwhelm the family if they know you're sneaking in to the farmhand's quarters! Step gently, silent latch, rung after rung. Shhhh! Re-latch. Lock. Ecstasy. Overwhelmed. Ladder-support-legs-weak. He's so, so… his eyes beautiful. Closed in elation. His jaw set.. breathe. River! Breathe! Do I dare look lower? Do my eyes brave the journey to their desire? They do! Virility in its purest essence. Veiny, pulsing with his heartbeat. I want that. I want to command his desire as he does. I can't even control my own desire. So… wet and embarrassing. What will he think of a girl that can't control herself? One step. QUIET! Two steps. QUIET! So close, just… reach out .. and…

Ohgodohgodohgod so close! River on all fours, moanin' and archin' as I bury deep into her. Oh yeah, that image was workin'. Just a little more… what in the hell? Foreign, cold, touchin' his - Open your eyes you idiot! What in the? Feng le girl! Touchin' him! How did she get down here? Don't trust her! She's just gonna get you spaced! Oh fuck, too late. Big moony eyes, pouty bottom lip. God he'd dreamt of those lips doin' amazin'… Oh god! Yes! Just like that! Just what they were doing now. Where'd she learn this? I should warn her I'm about to… Oh go se! I just.. in her mouth! S.P.E.S.H.U.L. HELL. Cringe. Wait for her to be repulsed. Ta ma de! She's lickin' up every drop. Hell, he'd paid trim lotsa money to do that before and they didn't look nearly as blissful as his beautiful moonbrain did right now. His moonbrain?

Oh it was so warm. So… Jayne. More, all of it. All I can squeeze from him! I want it. He's cross eyed! Don't laugh! Just bait him. Aching. Longing. Wanting. Needing. Leave! You've accomplished what you needed to lay your trap. Leave! He looks so scared. Open to him, what is he thinking? - - - - - - Oh Jayne, dear Jayne. No, no airlock for you. I will hurl myself out as well if they even mention it. This isn't a trick. This is the last 3 months of unspoken words, drawn back hands, short breaths, sleepless nights all coming to mass in our cores. Desire teetering on the edge of bliss and disaster. I'm scared too, scared that the next few steps will be the best thing that has happened in my life. Well… minus Simon saving me… and I fear things will never be the same again. I hope it's for the best too.

Hey! Just where do you think you're going? Just gonna walk out like that after bein' the best piece… woman I've had in ages? Ooohh no. C'mere. God! What a tiny hand! Here I am, still splayed out in front a you and God and everyone and you're just walkin' away? No, I don't think so. That may be what I 'xpect from other women, but I got other plans for you. C'mere.

Grand! He took the bait! So warm moving toward me. No fear. No shame, he's becoming aroused again. Visibly. Let me at it again! Please? Body begging, body whining, body yearning. Body ready. Damn my hormonal lack of restraint! Damn his impeccable vestige of machismo. Damn… his… soft lips on my neck. How do people survive this? Surely I am to die from pleasure! His breath passes to me, My sustenance exists in his touch, his passion, his lust. My lips? He never kisses the lips. I will never get enough of this. I will die if this ends!