Disclaimer- Any character in or mentioned in this story is J.K. Rowlings' not mine.
Disclaimer 2- Idea from Mugglecast Episode #102.
It was a very bright morning in Headmistress McGonagall's office. It was completely vacant but for the portraits of past headmasters and headmistresses. Of these include Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape.
"So Severus, what shall we talk about today?" asked Dumbledore cheerfully. Snape moaned.
"Please, Dumbledore. Just leave me in peace for today. I beg of you," pleaded Snape.
"Nonsense, Severus. Why would you want to alienate yourself like that?" asked Dumbledore.
"Because we have been talking for the past year now!" answered Snape.
"Let's talk about your friends, Severus," said Dumbledore. Snape sighed.
"What friends?" asked Snape.
"Such a kidder, Severus. What ever happened to that Lily Evans girl?" asked Dumbledore.
"She died," said Snape sadly but boredly.
"That is a shame. You know she was a real winner," said Dumbledore, "I heard you two had a child. What's his name…uhhh…. Harry! That's the one."
"Alas, no. Harry is James Potter's son," said Snape.
"Oh. Silly me. No wonder Harry looks confused when I call him Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said, "I almost called child services on you Severus."
"Why?" asked Snape.
"I am certain that their code says 'By no circumstances should a greasy-haired git have custody of a child.'"
"Well at least I shave!" shouted Snape.
"At least I wash my hair once in a while!"
"At least I wasn't the worst headmaster ever!" retorted Snape.
"ME? YOU MURDERED ME IN FRONT OF YOUR SON!"
"Harry is not my son, you old twit! Plus, you told me to kill you!"
"True enough," said Dumbledore coolly, "Lemon Sherbert? Severus?"
