Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own glee or any of the characters or anything really, aside from the order of the words.
Authors note: Okay, yes it's another Will/Emma finale kiss fic, I've already read at least four of them, but the Will and Emma are simply too adorable to be overlooked and I tried to make this one different from the others I've read. It is my first glee fic, so leave me a review and let me know how i did. =)
Oh... And major thanks to heroesatheart124 for beta-ing (if that's the right word)
He hadn't had time to formulate a plan. His mind was reeling, a spinning cycle of chaos, flinging unorganized images and half-formed thoughts through his consciousness at lightening speed while he struggled to find an adequate way of expressing his current emotions. There simply wasn't one. He couldn't express what he couldn't understand. Nothing made sense, and at the moment, there wasn't time to sort it all out.
Emma was leaving.
The words rang through his head again and again, a haunting mantra that threatened to overwhelm him with its impossible reality.
He knew that he was entitled to be upset by her departure. She was a friend and a colleague, a great listener and a compassionate person. He was allowed to miss her.
He knew that, as a colleague, he'd miss sharing lunch with her. He'd miss her willingness to listen, even if the problem he'd chosen to ramble about wasn't even remotely school related. He'd miss her advice, her offer to help chaperone on glee-related trips, and her unfailing patience.
As a friend, he'd miss seeing her smile. He'd miss the way her eyes lit up when she was happy, and the way that they seemed to magnify to almost twice their size when she was surprised or afraid. He'd miss teasing her about not understanding even the simplest of Spanish phrases, and laughing at the way she had methodically repeated after him for days until she had finally mastered, "No habla Español." He'd miss the way her nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought of public restrooms or fast food. He'd miss asking about her day, telling her about glee club's latest drama, and asking for help with picking out a new song - even when he didn't really need it.
But he'd miss more than that, because she was more than that.
He'd miss the way her voice dropped to a near whisper when they were alone, as though no matter how trivial the conversation, it was too important to be overheard. He'd miss the way she bit her lip when she was confused - a nervous habit made even more endearing when coupled with the innocently baffled expression she adopted whenever he did or said something unexpected. He'd miss her immaculate office and the way that all of her pencils were sharpened to the same length and always faced the same direction, as though it could possibly matter to anyone but herself.
He'd miss the way the littlest things - an offhand compliment, a sentimental smile, a graceless stumble - flooded her face with color, a soft pinkish-red that made her porcelain skin look even warmer and more inviting. He'd miss the way her caramel-colored eyes widened self-consciously if he stared at her for too long - something he'd become increasingly aware of doing in the past few weeks. And, he'd miss the way her voice hitched whenever he got too close to her, a slight and unexpected change in pitch that was difficult to hear unless you were listening for it.
He would miss her, and although he knew that it was true, that acknowledgement didn't seem like enough of a reason to be racing down the hallway, praying to whatever god was listening that she wasn't already gone. And yet, that was exactly what he was doing.
He skidded to a stop just outside her office, and its emptiness hit him like a physical blow - a punch to the gut that left him breathless and aching, because although it was as clean and organized as ever, everything that had made it hers was gone. The desk had been cleared of its neatly-stacked papers and methodically sharpened pencils. The ridiculously-titled brochures that usually sat behind the desk had been removed, and although the filing cabinet drawers were shut, he knew that they were empty as well. Everything had already been packed (undoubtedly neatly, because it was still Emma, after all) into boxes and carried away, leaving only a desk, a filing cabinet, a few chairs, and an astoundingly powerful feeling of emptiness.
He still wasn't sure what exactly he'd been planning on saying to her, but he did know that he couldn't have let her leave without saying something - a goodbye, an explanation, or possibly an apology. Just something, anything, to let her know that maybe this wasn't the answer to either of their problems.
The parking lot.
The realization was sluggish, as if the shock of her abandoned office had, for a moment, driven away his ability to reason. It was almost embarrassing that he hadn't thought of it immediately, if by some miracle she hadn't left yet that's where she'd be, or at the very least where she'd be heading toward.
With a suddenly clear destination, his feet began moving almost before his mind had been given the opportunity to catch up. He practically jogged through the hallways, glancing around frequently in case, by some sort of divine intervention, he happened to cross her path.
He'd made it through three hallways, down a flight of stairs to the ground floor, and around another corner when he slowed slightly to look around and suddenly, there she was, silhouetted in the intersection of the adjacent hallway with the window directly behind her, walking, for some unknown reason, in the opposite direction.
He jogged toward her, willing his feet to move faster and his breathing to even out as he approached. She stopped, having either seen him or heard his frantic footsteps, and turned to face him.
She breathed out slowly, her eyes widening and her brow furrowing in a combination of confusion and surprise, but she remained motionless, almostas though she was waiting. Although, exactly she was waiting for remained to be seen.
He slowed to a stop, his breathing still uneven and his heart beating much faster than the short jog had required.
She looked up, confusion written in every line of her face as he reached out and took the box from her arms, setting it gently on the floor, and turned to face her again.
"What…?" she mouthed the word more than said it, but the intention of the question was still clear. There were so many things that could have followed the single word "What are you doing?" "What do you want?" Or possibly just, "What?" But, it didn't really matter what she'd intended to ask because he honestly didn't know the answer.
So he stopped her, holding up a single finger, nearly touching her lips as he tried to say something, anything. He tried to put into words the aching loneliness that the sight of her empty office had induced, tried to ask her to stay, or at the very least allow him the chance to say goodbye. But nothing that came to mind seemed adequate, nothing explained everything he wanted her to know. Words failed him, and so he kissed her instead.
As kisses went, it wasn't terribly long, or even overwhelmingly intense, but it was better than he'd imagined - and despite his better judgment, he had imagined it…more than once.
At first, unsure of what was happening and how she should respond, she stiffened, an instinctual reaction to an unprecedented situation. But he didn't pull away, and after a few seconds she relaxed a bit and kissed him back, bringing her hands up to grip his biceps gently, as though to hold herself there.
They pulled away almost simultaneously and he immediately stared down at her. She wasn't looking at him, in fact her eyes were closed, which was somewhat unsettling because it effectively prevented him from reading the emotion that was usually so obvious in them. Her breathing was just as uneven as his own and he was pretty sure that that was a good sign, but she still hadn't spoken.
He waited. One second. Two. Three. He considered saying something, but he was afraid to shatter the moment, afraid of her lack of a reaction, and even more so of what her reaction would be if he forced her into a response before she was ready to give one. Her name was on the tip of his tongue, already formed as a question, but he held it back, still uncertain of himself.
After what felt like an eternity, her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him, her expression unreadable. She let out a shaky breath and then she smiled. She was still confused, uncertain, and more than a little caught-off-guard, but she smiled.
And he smiled in response, relief flooding through him as her smile turned into a laugh - a shaky giggle riddled with uncertainty and innocence, like a young high-school student after her first kiss; astounded, self-conscious, and almost giddy with anxiety.
Since neither of them was willing to shatter the moment by saying something they'd likely regret, the silence lasted longer this time. But, neither of them pulled away.
Eventually she spoke, her voice whisper soft, "Will.." she began, but she hesitated, biting her lip softly and looking at the floor to hide both her uncertain smile and her flushing cheeks.
He smiled wider and put two fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and forcing her to look at him again. Her lower lip was still caught between her teeth and she still looked uncertain, but the combination of lightness in her eyes and the way her lips quirked up ever so slightly betrayed the happiness that out of either guilt or disbelief she'd been trying to hide.
"Will," she began again, but she never finished because, unable to help himself, he kissed her again.
It was shorter this time, a gentle brush of his lips against hers, before he pulled away again, still smiling.
Her eyes widened even farther, but the furrow of confusion in her brow had disappeared. She smiled, uncertainty momentarily forgotten, "So, what now?" she asked softly once she could breathe again.
"I don't know," he admitted with a shaky laugh. "I didn't think that far ahead."
She grinned, relieved that he hadn't launched into some pre-rehearsed speech about her staying or about having suddenly realized his feelings for her, because his honest admission of a lack of forethought was infinitely better.
So, for once not thinking about the likeliness of germs, the need for a shower, or the possibility of sickness, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, forgetting about everything but kissing Will Schuester
So, thoughts? Liked it? Hated it? Favorite or least favorite part? ... come on people give me something. =)
