"This is the one of the few things Muggles are good for." Sirius croaks. Traces of thick smoke slip from between his lips as he passes the joint to his cousin, who takes a long hit before passing it on to Remus.
"No." Tonks shakes her head and exhales the smoke. "Muggles did not invent this." She looks to Remus, who simply shrugs and lifts the dwindling joint to his lips. He looks remarkably young when he's high and she shifts her gaze to Sirius, who is watching Remus with a calm, contented look on his face. Jealousy fans dimly under the surface. She fancies Lupin, which is why she's here getting very stoned with him and her cousin, but she wonders if there's not some weight to the rumor she hears whispered about the two of them.
"Do you fancy men, Remus?" The words come tumbling out of her mouth just as he leans across her to pass the joint to Sirius. His elbow grazes her right breast and he turns his head to glare at her, but there's no force behind it. His cheeks are pink and his ears are beginning to match.
Sirius laughs so hard he begins to choke and as he wheezes and splutters and doubles over, he holds out the joint. Tonks raises one eyebrow quizzically at Remus. He takes the joint from Sirius and leans back, his face returning to its usual shade of sallow grey.
"Why do you want to know?" He offers her the last hit but she shakes her head.
"Just curious." She watches his face as he inhales, his eyes on her for a moment before drifting back to Sirius.
"She wants to know if you're gay so she can extinguish her flame if need be." Sirius leans his head back and stares up at the sky. Tonks' face flushes and she shoots a glance in Remus' direction. The expression on his face is impossible to read. Is it amusement? Shock? Horror? Happiness?
Remus' face remains expressionless but Tonks catches something in his eyes. A hint of anger, a hint of sadness. "I'm sorry." She says quietly, looking away from his face and down at her hands instead. "That was quite rude."
"No need to apologise." He leans forward and places his hand on her knee. She has been coming around more and more since her first Order meeting, just waiting for a moment like this. "You shouldn't believe rumors, Nymphadora."
"You know about the rumors?" She leans forward excitedly. "You know?"
"Of course I know." He waves his free hand in the air dismissively. Tonks cannot help but notice how nice it feels to have his other hand on her knee. "Fred and George aren't the only ones who make use of those Extendable Ears."
She blinks a few times and then covers his hand with hers. "Yes. But are the rumors true?"
Remus glances at Sirius, who seems to be in some sort of dopey trance staring at the stars. "There was weight to them once, just after we left Hogwarts. No weight since then though."
Her heart lodges itself in her throat and she forces it down with a very concentrated gulp. "What happened?"
His eyes change in that moment and he looks at her like she has wanted him to look at her since they met. She is suddenly very warm and wants nothing more than a cube of ice to chew on. She chooses instead to chew on her thumb. Remus leans back after a quiet moment, pulling his hand along with him. She almost whines.
"It never would've worked. It wasn't what either of us wanted." Sirius plainly states, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes wearily. "Remus wasn't attracted to me and I had my eyes on a delicious little piece of-,"
"That's enough, Sirius." Remus lifts an eyebrow at Sirius almost scornfully. Sirius looks from Remus to Tonks and back again with a grin.
"Right. Don't want to offend the little lady." He stands, a bit unsteady on his feet, and makes for the door. "Try to keep the sounds of ecstasy to a minimum out there, all right? It'll ruin the buzz." He disappears inside and when Tonks looks back to Remus, his cheeks are as red as hers feel.
"Don't mind him." They say simultaneously. They erupt into laughter at the same moment as well, and it makes her stomach flutter a bit. Remus doesn't laugh nearly enough for how handsome it makes him look.
He notices her watching him and his eyes shift upward toward the star dotted night sky. "Muggles think all of the unknowns are up there. They have no idea."
She feels the irresistible pull to join him in his chair and though it might be a bit forward, she is Nymphadora Tonks and she is also a bit high, so she stands and leisurely, unceremoniously drops herself in his unsuspecting lap. She puts an arm around his shoulders and links her fingers together. It feels odd but good being so close to him. He's very warm and comfortable and when he slips his arms around her waist, she exhales the breath she has been holding.
They don't speak for awhile. As the minutes tick past, she relaxes against him more and more until her eyelids begin to droop under the weight of her sleepiness. His warmth and the way she fits so perfectly against him make her long for the comfort of her bed. With him. But she pushes that thought out of her mind and focuses on a small patch on his shoulder.
"Do you mend them yourself?" She traces the sewn edge with her finger and he nods. It seems natural to rest her head against his. He closes his eyes and his arms tighten around her.
"This is why you wanted to know." She barely catches his words and it's more a statement than a question but she nods just the same. His fingers press into her side and he sighs quietly. "I'm glad."
It is the only confirmation she gets from him for the rest of the night. The rest of the night doesn't actually last very long. She keeps nodding off in his lap and he keeps jolting her awake by shifting around in the chair. Eventually she unfolds herself from him and stands, stretches out the kinks in her muscles, and makes the regrettable decision to head home with "I'm glad" to keep her company.
Remus walks her to the front door, ever the gentleman, and Tonks clenches her fists at her side as a wild impulse takes over her brain. She looks up at Lupin, who looks down at her with a half-smile on his face, and she can't help herself. She curls her fingers around the lapels of his jacket, pushes herself up on her toes, and presses her lips against his rather firmly.
For a moment, she thinks she has made a terrible, awful mistake because not one muscle in his body so much as twitches, but then one of his hands is at the small of her back while the other rests lightly against the back of her head. Together, so perfectly that she knows it must be magic, they melt into the kiss with soft lips and tongues.
When they finally part a long moment later, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her to his chest. She stays there as long as she can with her cheek pressed to the worn fabric of his jacket. This is perfection for her. It is a thousand times better than any of her wildest dreams.
Eventually he pulls away, prompted by her increasing yawns, and helps her with the door. They kiss once more as she steps onto the stoop and as she half-clomps, half-skips down the steps, she feels him watching her. She glances over her shoulder just before stepping onto the sidewalk. Remus smiles one last time and closes the door slowly. Tonks wants to maintain a sense of decorum and maturity about the situation but at the corner, she spins in a giddy circle with her arms flung wide. Decorum and maturity are for stodgy old fools.
© 2008
8.11.08
