Hi lovelies :)

This is me, being back.

So about this fic, apparently Post Season 2 AU future fic from Blair's POV is a thing now. After Square One, I give you this one.

The next chapters of my fics will be coming in that order : Curacao Dreaming, La Bohème, Square one, a new oneshot that I have yet to name, and Generation Gap -yes, I wrote a new chapter for that too. Lol, if only I was this dedicated to my college projects. Anyway, you can expect all of this within the next two weeks.

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this one.


Life doesn't really happen to Blair anymore.

She is well aware that she is now settling for a pattern modeled by others before, and that some coming after will follow as well. It is a shame, because the beginning of her life was anything but common. She had loved a fierce love, one she thought indestructible. No matter how hard or how mentally exhausting it had been, she had never stopped believing in her happy ending. She thought she got it, eventually. She was wrong. What she got was an illusion, a disappointingly ephemeral 'ending'.

She now realizes that she was naïve. Endings don't happen at eighteen years old. It should be where everything starts. She had been too blind to even think about it. Chuck always had the tendency halt every process of rational thinking she could have.

And she followed the pattern. What do people do, when they're in love? They get married, and so she did. Perhaps too soon, perhaps for nothing. There was something endearing in such a marriage, at only twenty ears. Chuck had taken over his father's company; she went to college, graduated. They went to cocktails, hosted charities galas, vacationed with royal families. Then, after some scandal about mishandled funds, Chuck decided to create a foundation for the preservation of rainforests. Blair accepted, when he asked her to run it; she didn't dare point out that nobody would buy it, because they had been living in New York all their lives; she shut the voice in her head telling her it wasn't what she dreamed of when she was handed her diploma asserting her bachelor degree in French Literature and Art History.

She stood beside him, nevertheless, because it's what wives do. And whatever was told about them, she always had the satisfaction that she and Chuck had something that others did not. Together, the two of them were one of a kind.

How ironic is it that they fell into the statistics of those couples that cannot pass the dreaded seventh year of marriage.

Of course, Blair was the one who asked the divorce, and Chuck pretended he didn't understand. Because she had everything with him, and more importantly, she was someone. But people can't exist without love, and Blair didn't feel loved. She was also quite confident she had stopped loving too. Being married to Chuck shut her out of so many things. Serena's first born christening, for instance. She absolutely had to be in Brazil for the foundation, and Chuck pressured her, telling her their future depended on it.

She felt sick, thinking about how she declined being a godmother.

When the news of the divorce got to the media, Blair could not take a step out. How her life was getting out of her own reach fueled a rage, and she was ready to take everything from him in the divorce. But when she sat opposite him, their lawyers on their sides, everything felt numb. She didn't want to fight this. She just wanted to be free to be someone, without him.

She gave him everything he asked for. The secondary houses, the staff, the apartment. She just moved out and back into the penthouse, that she had never sold; that should have been a sign, surely.

At least, she wasn't alone in it. Serena often came over with a bottle of wine, offering divorcée advices. The thing with Serena is that she knows best how to be an ex-wife, than an actual wife. And Blair is actually grateful for that.

But one day, she wakes up. She is twenty-eight, going on twenty nine, and it's summer. She hates the sun, because it reminds her that she has nothing to get up for. No children, no husband to cherish, no job to drown into. She's just the typical Upper East Side middle-aged divorcée, twenty years too early.

"Go out" Serena often tells her "Have fun, meet someone!"

Blair declines every time. She is not of age of going out to night clubs, and getting hammered with tequila. When she should have been doing it, she was playing house with Chuck. Now, it's too late, like so many other things in her life.

The idea of the hospital doesn't really come naturally. She needs something to do, and more importantly, she needs people to see her as a kind, independent, generous young woman. Because she can't be intuitive and powerful; she doesn't know how to.

She picks the hospital randomly, closing her eyes and pressing a finger on the phonebook. Old Pine Clinic, upstate. Blair sighs, taking out her checkbook, trying to figure out what amount of money will be enough for them to invite her, or name a wing after her. When the check is written, she sends it through the mail, with some back up story about how they treated a friend of hers and she waits, for days, until the phone rings and an ecstatic assistant tells her that she is required to come for the inauguration of the new nursery.

Blair puts on her most loving outfit, the white dress with the red heels. Nothing screams "motherly" like the stereotype of the 60s woman. She is good at pretending the tour is actually interesting, and keeps her best fake smile on even when they visit the gerontology department.

The chief brings her to the coma central, and Blair looks at the people lying on their bed, eyes closed, sleeping; living, but not living. At least, they don't know that they're not living, Blair thinks. They might be dreaming of some beautiful, alternate life, whereas she is stuck in an actual nightmare, an active coma, for the rest of her existence.

"Wait" she says.

The doctor stops, and turns to her.

"Is there something wrong?"

Blair doesn't answer, but squeezes her eyes. They were walking in front of a room, and Blair had to stop because she was sure… She takes a step forward inside of the room, and gets the confirmation.

"Is this Daniel Humphrey?" she asks, pointing at the body on the bed.

The doctor raises his eyebrows.

"You know him?"

Blair looks attentively. Even though his hair is longer now, and he looks paler and thinner, she does recognize him.

"We graduated from the same school, ten years ago" Blair tells the doctor.

"He was in a car accident. The vehicle went off the road and into a lake, not far from here. He had no ID, the car wasn't registered and no one declared someone missing in the past week. All he had with him was this book, over there"

Blair looks at the book on the bedside table, wrinkled by the water. She picks the book between her hands. The Postman Always Rings Twice.

"We had a nurse reading to him, because hearing something familiar might help, sometimes" the doctor says "I can't believe you know him. We really thought he had no family"

Blair can't help laughing at the statement "Oh believe me, he has a family. And they are probably dying to know where he is. I think his mother lives in town, but I don't know her name. His father lives in the city, though; do you want me to give you his number?"

"You really are an angel to this hospital" he scribbles the numbers Blair tells him "I'll get a nurse to finish the tour for you, while I call this man's family. Thank you again"

"You're welcome" Blair answers

The doctor leaves her alone in the room, with Humphrey just being there. Blair puts the book back down, and looks at him. His eyeballs move under his eyelids, sometimes. She can see the veins on his arms, light blue. Around his right wrist, there's a bracelet. John Doe. Instinctively, Blair moves to tear it up. When she realizes what she's done, she just puts the bracelet on the book next to him and leaves the room.

A nurse comes to meet her, and finishes the tour with her. After Blair is celebrated by the inscription of her name of the golden plates listing the donators, she is escorted outside. Right when she gets into her town car, she spots a woman running inside the hospital. If her memory serves her right, it's Humphrey's mother. Blair sighs. At least, she actually did something good, and selfless in the past ten years.

/

The phone rings right when she enters the penthouse.

"Dorota!"

No answer. She is probably ironing while listening to the latest Katy Perry. Blair makes her way to the home phone swiftly.

"Blair Waldorf speaking"

"Blair, it's Rufus Humphrey"

"Yes" Blair simply says, because she knows what the call is about.

"Thank you so much, Blair. For Dan, I mean"

Blair opens her mouth, then closes it, and shrugs "Anyone who would have recognized him would have done the same"

"We hadn't heard from him in a week, after he and I had a fight. He said he was going to visit his mother but then she never saw him. I thought he was too angry to talk to me, and during all this time, he was…"

Rufus's voice breaks, and Blair doesn't quite know what to do with herself.

"Well, at least we know where he is now" Blair says.

"Thanks to you. I don't know what I could do to repay you"

"Don't be ridiculous, it's completely normal" Blair is starting to feel ill at ease under all the gratitude. "Listen Rufus, I have to go. Send my love to Lily"

"Of course, I didn't mean to bother you. I just wanted to thank you"

"Yes, I understand"

"Goodbye, Blair"

After they hang up, Blair sits down on a chair, the phone still between her hands. A week. That's how long Humphrey had been a stranger. She wonders what it would feel like, to be nobody, to have no one looking for you, but actually be aware of it. Being able to completely start again, like someone who would have chosen to lose their memory.

The chime of the elevator doors openings gets her out of the bittersweet reverie.

"Beeeeeeee!"

Jared, Serena's four-year-old is running toward her, and Blair catches him just in time for him not to crash into a wall.

"Hello, my little man. How are you today?"

Serena is following, her toddler girl, Sophie, on the hips.

"The kids wanted to see you" she tells Blair, kissing her on the cheek "And so did I. I just heard about your good deed"

"It was nothing" Blair rolls her eyes and starts to turn on herself, because she knows Jared likes it. "The man is in a coma, the least he could use is someone to watch over him; someone that wasn't paid to do so."

"I completely agree. I just thought that you would be happy to leave Dan alone for a couple more weeks"

"I'm not that cruel" Blair retorts, and stops moving "Humphrey has the most loving family I know. I wouldn't deny anyone of that"

Serena frowns, suspicious, but Blair can see she does feel a bit bad about her previous accusation. Once Dorota is finally able to hear Blair calling her, she serves them tea and little pastries. Sophie and Jared sit next to each other on the little ottoman, and share a plate.

"Do you want to go out to eat tonight?" Serena asks "Since Rufus is going to Hudson, my mom will be alone, so I can leave her the kids"

"I would love to" Blair says "But I have some reading to do"

Serena rolls her eyes "Come on, Blair. I asked you to dinner, not to do coke in a dirty bathroom of Bronx"

"Can I have a coke?" Jared asks, hopeful.

"Drink your tea, and don't listen to adults' conversations" Serena tells him before turning back to Blair "Lebanese, on me, 8:00 pm. What do you say?"

"Fine" Blair sighs.

She and Serena meet directly at the restaurant. Blair is actually fond of those kind of nights, when they can just be with each other, as if they were still seventeen and careless. Except now they get to drink.

Serena orders a bottle of champagne, to celebrate all of the things they didn't get to celebrate ever since Blair married Chuck. After three glasses, they decide to hold back, because Serena still has to pick up her kids afterwards, but they already feel a little dizzy.

"Good evening, ladies"

Blair freezes, and whatever she was laughing at is instantly forgotten. She sees Serena watching over her shoulder with an uneasy smile.

"Hi, Chuck" Serena says "What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?"

"Lahti was dying to show me her father's restaurant"

Blair turns around then. Chuck is standing there, in a grey suit, and with an olive skin woman on his arm. Their eyes meet, and Blair doesn't look away.

"Hi Chuck. I see you're doing fine"

Chuck glances quickly at the three-quarters emptied bottle of champagne.

"I could say the same for you" he replies "Found a job yet?"

Blair bites the inside of her cheek. She left the foundation after the divorce, and she knows Chuck will always rub in her face how he was her first professional breakthrough.

"Nothing remunerated" Blair answers "I don't need the money, I work as a volunteer"

"You do?" Serena asks.

Blair turns to her, relieved. Her lie will be easier to tell if she isn't looking at Chuck.

"I do. I wanted to tell you. I went to the hospital today, because I thought the donation wasn't enough, so I volunteered to…read…to people in coma. They say hearing people talking might help them, so I wanted to. I guess."

"Really?" Serena stares at Blair, dubious.

"Really" Blair tries to sound confident.

"Well, good luck trying to give a meaning to your life" Chuck said, with the same dead smile he always carried around since the divorce. "Serena, I will see you at brunch next week."

Blair waits for his footstep to be inaudible before murdering Serena with a glare.

"You just had to pick his girlfriend's father's restaurant, didn't you?"

"I didn't know!" Serena apologizes in a whisper "He has a new girlfriend every week"

"Let's not talk about it, and enjoy the rest of the dinner"

Blair picks up her fork and knife, and starts cutting the condiments. Serena puts a soothing hand over hers.

"Are you mad?" she asks

"I'm not mad at you" Blair answers, pushing Serena's hand away.

"What are you mad about then?"

Blair sighs, puts down her fork "It's nothing. Why don't we pick up the kids and have a sleepover at my place?"

Serena looks at her hesitantly, then agrees with a nod.

Blair doesn't sleep that night. She lies on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, her dark thoughts lulled by the light snores of Serena and her children.

/

Blair doesn't really know how, but she is back at the Old Pine Clinic one morning, a week later. She was alone in her apartment, the sun was shining way too bright to spend all day in. But she didn't have anywhere to go, because her family lives in France, and Serena was at brunch with her own family.

Blair then asks the chauffeur to take her to the clinic. She might as well live her lie to the fullest. She walks in, confidently and stops only once, at the front desk, to ask the direction to Humphrey's room.

It's changed during the past week. Flowers, balloons, books, CDs, a little radio make it more like a Humphrey sick room. He is still on the bed, still too pale, still too thin, still too still. His eyes are closed, and they don't move this time. Blair follows with her eyes the little tube out of his mouth, and plugged into some strange device.

All of the books in the room are bookmarked, except for The Postman. All the other ones are novels about nothing, literary black holes; and this one seems untouched. Perhaps no one wants to read it to him, because it was with him in the accident.

Blair sits on a chair, puts her purse on her laps, and opens the book. She wonders where he left off the last time he read it, tries to find an indication on the corner of the pages. But she finds nothing. So Blair goes back to the first page, figuring it is better this way. She is going to take it from the beginning, because even Humphrey deserves a 'fresh start'.

She comes back every single day, after this one. She sits on the same chair, in the same position, and picks up the reading where she left it the previous day. She reads for only an hour, because she doesn't want anyone to find her there. She doesn't even fully comprehend why she chose to do this. But almost all she knows is that it is better than sitting at home, alone, doing absolutely nothing, talking to absolutely no one. She is enjoying the book. She is enjoying reading it out loud, and she likes to think that Humphrey can probably hear her, and looks forward to this hour as much as she does.

Sometimes, she stops reading to look for his reactions. Sometimes, she would see his eyes move, his fingers twitch. It reassures her. He is still there, somewhere. He just needs a push to come back. So she keeps reading, perhaps hoping that she could somehow help, and that she would have actually done something useful. She never does the thing when one confesses their deepest feelings to a comatose person, and waits for a sign from God, Krishna or the universe to solve their problems. She thinks it's tacky. He is already in a coma, he has his own problems. And had he been alive, he wouldn't have given a damn about hers.

One day, Blair is disturbed in her reading by someone clearing their throat. She gasps, and looks up from the book to the door to find no one. Then before she can understand what is going on, she hears a cough, and a beep, and she turns her head so fast she can hear it crack.

Dan Humphrey is looking at her through heavy eyelids. He seems genuinely confused, and in pain. One of the machines he is plugged to is making a regular beep. Blair is tetanized. She doesn't know how to react, what to say. She wants to run away, and let him believe that it was all a hallucination, but she cannot move even a finger. The room is silent, except for her heavy breathing, and the constant beeping of the godforsaken machine. She wants to throw it by the window. Humphrey is alive, she get it.

Blair sees Humphrey swallow with difficulty, still looking at her.

"Are you really who I think you are?" he asks with a voice so hoarse, it surprises them both.

That's when Blair takes in what is actually happening. She gets up from the chair and runs out of the room, to the nurses' corner.

"He woke up" she says "Daniel Humphrey, he was in a coma and he just woke up"

One of the nurses immediately goes to Dan's room and Blair follows, her legs trembling. By the time she gets in front of the room, there's already a doctor there, and she can hear them checking out Humphrey.

"Do you know who you are?"

"Dan Humphrey"

"Do you know what year it is?"

"It depends on how long I've been here, doesn't it?"

Sassy Humphrey. Some things really don't change. Blair's breathing can't seem to steady, so she makes her way to the exit quickly.

When she gets home, she tries to do anything she can to get Humphrey out of her mind. Soon enough, his family is going to get the call, about how their son woke up while one of the donators was reading to him. Blair needs to come up with a story, that would explain the situation. And that's what she spends all afternoon doing, while alphabetizing and reorganizing her childhood dolls on their shelves.

The sun has long gone when she gives up, and decides to go take a shower. She is just getting out of the bathroom when her phone rings.

"Hello" Blair picks up while putting on a robe.

"Dan woke up!" Serena's voice is chipper on the other end "It happened this afternoon. The doctor said he could go back home next Saturday, so Rufus is having a special brunch, and he asked me to invite you"

"Humphrey invited me?"

"Not Dan, Rufus. He thinks he owes you. You're the one who found him"

"It was a fluke. I don't want to disturb"

"Chuck won't be there" Serena said, wariness in her voice.

"It's not about Chuck" Blair snapped.

"Then you really don't have a reason not to come"

Blair sighs "Fine. I'll be there"

She hangs up and falls onto her bed, her face buried in her pillow. When she is out of air, she turns her head to catch her breath better, and her eyes fall on the nightstand. Blair's body jolts upright, as she realizes that she left with Humphrey's book.

/

There are more people than Blair first expected, at the brunch. She is relieved to see Nate, Serena and Eric amongst the friendly faces; she is less pleased to run into Vanessa and Jenny. Dan is sitting in the middle of the room, wearing a paper crown. His hair is cut now, but he still looks thin. His smile is weak, but visible.

"Blair! Come on in!"

Rufus takes Blair by the shoulders, pulls her into a hug and pushes her toward Dan.

"Let me get a picture of the two of you" he says "And Jenny, get Blair a mimosa please"

Jenny obviously tries to repress her grimace at the request and moves to execute it anyway. As for Blair, she is trying her best to keep her smile hanging on her lips, while Dan goes to stand next to her, and puts a hand on her shoulder, striking a pose for Rufus.

"The lost lamb and its guardian angel" Rufus says, as he is snapping the shot. "I propose a toast, everyone! To Blair, because who knows how long Dan would have stayed unidentified if she hadn't reported him"

"Oh it's really not…" Blair starts, but Jenny is putting a glass in her hand.

Every one lifts their flutes and says "To Blair!"

Afterwards, Blair avoids Humphrey as much as she can; even to the point of talking to Vanessa. It's not all that bad. They've both changed, and Blair can see a new side of her. Besides, anything is better than standing awkwardly alone, and pretending Humphrey, the guest of honor, doesn't exist.

But Blair is not at ease. She feels left out. They are all family, except Nate who she barely talks to now, because it seems he's part of the things she gave up in the divorce. So she keeps drinking mimosas and stuffing her mouth with waffles.

She is minding her own business when she hears Rufus calling her name.

"How about Blair tells us the story of how she found Dan"

Blair turns to the little crowd, and touches her purse.

"I would love to" she says "But my phone is ringing, I think it's my mother. I should get it"

Then she almost runs to the bedrooms. She turns the knob to Serena's old room and jumps a little when she sees Humphrey sitting on the bed. He looks up at her, equally surprised.

"I'm sorry" Blair says "I was looking for…never mind"

"Blair, wait!" Humphrey says as she turns around to leave.

He manages to catch her by the shoulder and make her face him before she can move further away from him.

"I didn't dream, right?" he looks her in the eyes, and Blair has a hard time swallowing "I mean, my dad told me you're the one who found me but…you were also there when I woke up, weren't you?"

Blair doesn't answer, just stares at him like she's having some sort of stroke, and Humphrey takes her lack of response as an affirmation. He lets go of her shoulder, crossing his arms, brows furrowed.

"What were you…I mean why were you there?" he asks "Is there something that I can't remember but should know about?"

"Something like what?" Blair asks, now confused too.

"I don't know" Humphrey shrugs "Like you maybe having something to do with me ending up in a coma?"

Blair stretches her eyes "Are you being serious, right now?"

"You're the one who found me, and you were by my side reading to me when I woke up. It does seem suspicious, don't you think?"

"I didn't do anything to you, Humphrey" Blair scoffs "Whatever happened, you can only blame your poor driving skills"

"Then why were you there?" he sighs "I'm not accusing you of anything, right now. I just want to…understand"

Blair bites her lip, trying to figure out what to tell him. It seems like she can less and less come up with lies, the more time goes by. She looks at Humphrey. He seems to be honest, to only want to understand. So Blair decides, she is already socially dead, a big joke that everyone can laugh at; she might as well admit it.

"I'm the one who found you, because I made a donation to the hospital, so people could see me as something else than an ex-Bass. And I visited you, and read to you every day, because anything was better than staying home, and pity myself. You were alone, and I was alone, and I thought that maybe I could be alone, with you."

Humphrey looks as though he does understand. He nods slightly and starts to make his way out of the room.

"Don't forget to bring back the book when you're finished with it" he says.

"What do you mean?" Blair says "I've got it right here" she reaches inside her purse, and Humphrey puts a hand on her wrist to stop her.

"It's alright" he says "You can finish it"

"But I wasn't even reading it"

"Of course you were. You just said so"

"I was reading it to you" Blair corrects.

"Out loud, thus to yourself. Just let me know what you thought of it"

He gives her a little smile, before leaving the room.

/

Blair has been done reading for three days before she finally calls Humphrey to tell him. They chat a little over the intrigue and the writing. Then Dan asks her if she would be kind enough to come over to Brooklyn and bring the book to him, because he is still quite weak.

Blair reluctantly accepts, because the man was in a coma, and it's the least she could do for him. They set up the meeting at 7:00 pm. Blair is there at 6:58. She waits three minutes to get out of the car, and go up the stairs.

She's only been to this place twice before, and Blair is surprised that Humphrey still lives there. But then again, she still lives in the apartment she grew up in. Blair wonders if Humphrey never left the loft, or if just like her, something happened and brought him back to his childhood home.

The door instantly opens when she knocks.

"Hey, come on in" Humphrey is smiling at her.

When she steps in, he takes her purse and the jacket she is wearing.

"Quite chilly outside, for July, right?" he asks, and Blair can only nod, confused by his welcoming attitude.

She tries to reach to her purse "Here's your book"

Humphrey moves the purse away from her and put it on the kitchen bar.

"We'll see about that later" he says "Right now, the lasagnas are almost ready, and I've already decanted the wine. So why don't you settle in the living room while I bring you a glass?"

Blair frowns, and sniffs the air. She can indeed smell lasagnas.

"Humphrey, what on earth is all this?"

He goes to take out two wine glasses "I don't really know what you did exactly for me, but I'm pretty sure you helped with my…condition. And I knew you wouldn't accept, so I tricked you into coming to a thank you dinner"

Blair watches him as he pours wine in the glasses.

"You and your father are way too big on gratitude, Humphrey"

He laughs "You might be right" he moves to hand her one glass "And please, no more Humphrey. You know my first name, Blair"

She narrows her eyes at him, and starts sipping on the wine.

"Who else are we expecting?" she asks

"No one. It's just you and me" he chuckles at the face she's making "Is that a problem?"

"Humphrey…Dan. We've known each other for twelve years, and we've never been alone, with each other"

"Of course we have" he smiles "When you were reading to me, remember? That went pretty well"

"You were unconscious"

"It doesn't mean I couldn't hear you"

Blair tilts her head to the side, surprised.

"You could hear me?"

Dan nods "I could. I just didn't know it was you."

They stare at each other for a few moments, then look away at the same time, Blair coughing a little and Dan taking a long sip from his glass.

"Here, I prepared something for you, while we wait"

He puts a hand on her lower back to lead her to the living room. Blair lets him, repressing the instinctive urge she has to jump from him.

There are several photographs hanging, and displayed on shelves and a table.

"Welcome to the Thank you, Blair Waldorf exhibit! Those are a few of my recent acquirements" Dan explains "Most of them are the work of an Irish girl, very young but very talented. This one is by a guy that grew up not far from here. And this one is…"

"Aaron Rose!" Blair gasps as she gets closer to the photographs.

She gazes at one of the last picture of Yves Saint-Laurent that was ever taken, in his old little workshop in Paris. She turns to Dan.

"You're the one who got it?" she asks "When I heard Aaron was going to sell it, I begged him to sell it to me. But he told me he was already engaged with someone"

"Oops" Dan shrugs with a smile.

"This isn't fair. I'm his sister, and his girlfriend dumped him for you!"

Dan opens his mouth to answer, but the oven starts chiming.

"The lasagnas!" he says, running to the kitchen.

As he takes care of the meal, Blair looks back at the pictures. He prepared her an exhibit. This is one of the things she would have never imagined happening to her.

Dan moves to the dining table and Blair follows him with their glasses. She doesn't hold against him the fact that they are supposed to change glasses, or that it's inappropriate for the guest not to be sitting at the table when the food arrives. Or even the lack of entrée.

Dan puts the lasagnas on the table, then moves to drag Blair's chair and help her sit. She thanks him with a nod while he takes the seat facing hers.

"We'll look at the other photos after dinner" he says "Give me your plate"

The dinner is easy. The food is good, better that Blair actually admitted out of courtesy; and the conversation is flowing. Dan doesn't stop talking, ever, but it doesn't seem to be a nervous reaction. He just has a lot of things to talk about. And Blair listens to him, because she doesn't recall the last time someone has talked to her about art, and literature, or modern culture.

"You should come with me to the Degas exhibit"

Dan looks up at her, surprised. And he can't me more than she is right now. Did she just invite Humphrey to go to the Morgan with her?

"When is it?" Dan asks

"It's about to close" Blair says, trying to sound more casual than she feels "I was going to see it tomorrow."

"I have work, tomorrow"

Blair mentally slaps herself. She forgot about people actually having jobs. What does she even do all day?

"But you can come by the office at 11:00 and we could turn it into a lunch" Dan suggests.

"Oh. Okay."

The silence settling between them is so awkward; Blair might just drown in her glass. They've been done eating for a while, and Blair declined the dessert, so it might be the right time to get the hell out of here.

"I should go" she says, getting up from her chair.

Dan follows her movement "You don't want to see the rest of your exhibit?"

Blair hesitates, but he actually has puppy eyes. He probably learned it from Serena.

"Sure" Blair says, with a forced smile.

They move together to the living room, and Dan tells her a story about each of the photographs. Blair starts to feel at ease at the third one. At the fifth one, Dan gets closer to her to show her details on the picture, and doesn't go back away when they move to the sixth one. They do the rest of the little exhibit this way: Dan standing right behind her, so close that she can feel her shoulder touching the fabric of his shirt; and waiting for her to contemplate the photo before she chooses to move to the next one.

When they finally get to Aaron's work, Blair sighs.

"I hate you" she says

"Granted. I would hate me, if I were you"

"Where are you even going to hang it?" Blair asks.

"I was thinking in the kitchen"

Blair turns around swiftly, gasping loudly to show how offended she feels. But she is stopped by his malicious smile, indicating that he was joking; and most of all by his position. He is really, really close.

His smile fades away, perhaps because he is too realizing that their distance is more than unusual.

"I should go" Blair repeats, in a whisper this time.

And this time, Dan nods, agreeing with her. He goes to get her jacket and her purse.

"Get home safe" he says as he helps her into the jacket.

"You too" Blair answers mechanically, then swears under her breath "I mean, have a good night"

"Yeah" Dan chuckles a little.

She turns to face him, with the intention for shaking his hand; but Dan leans forward with the intention of giving her an accolade. They are both halted by each other's movement. Blair hates it. She feels like a teenager.

"See you tomorrow" she finally says with a wave.

"Right, I'll make a reservation, so we don't have to wait for lunch"

"Sounds good. Bye."

"Bye"

Blair gets out of the loft and waiting for the door to close behind her. But Dan gets out too, before shutting the door.

"What are you doing?" Blair asks

"…Walking you downstairs…" Dan says, as if it were obvious.

"Humphrey…Dan, we've just said goodbye about five times in there! Wasn't it awkward enough for you?"

"You're right" Dan nods "I should go back inside. Have a good n…"

"Don't you dare say it again"

Dan laughs, and leans to place a kiss on her cheek.

"11. Don't be late" he says before going back into the loft.

/

Blair wakes up at 6:00. Naturally, without any alarm or anything. She just wakes up. She only has lunch, and the Morgan planned with Humphrey today, but she still wakes up so early that Dorota is scared that she forgot her schedule.

So Blair invites Serena and the children over for breakfast. The children eat with appetite the crepes and strawberry, and Serena doesn't even notice the amount of whipped cream they ingurgitate, too lost into cursing her ex-husband.

"And then he said that our marriage failed because I was too American! Can you believe it? I learned how to speak Italian for him, for God's sake" Serena actually stabs a strawberry.

"You didn't learn Italian. You learned 'buy me' and 'my name is' and paired it with the three Italian words you already knew: Gucci, Versace and Serena"

Serena rolls her eyes at her "Potato, potato. And as if I didn't have enough on my plate, my mom wants me to keep an eye on Dan."

Blair frowns, tries not to look to suspicious when the name comes up, but she can feel the heat on her cheek. She discreetly pinches her thigh. How old is she, for crying out loud?

"What's going on with him?"

"Rufus says he hasn't been himself, ever since the coma thing. Apparently, they never got to talk about the fight they had; and I've seen Dan a couple of times last week, he does seem…hollow."

"Was he ever anything but?" Blair feels guilty, but she couldn't help it.

It's like a reflex.

Serena gives her a little look, before keeping on chatting about her problems. Then after breakfast, she lingers. Blair usually doesn't mind, because having the kids running around brings vivacity into her sometimes dull home. But today, she has somewhere to go, and she is not sure yet she should tell Serena about it. So she makes up a story about having to go back to the Clinic, and Serena leaves, reluctantly.

Over the last ten years, Blair and Dan only met occasionally and briefly at social events and Blair actually knows three things about him: He is from Brooklyn, he works for Vanity Fair, and he was in a coma.

She arrives at the VF headquarters, and the front guy recognizes her. He immediately offers beverage, but Blair dismisses it, and just asks for Humphrey's section. As she makes her way there, she can see people turning to look at her. She keeps her head held high, haughty, Waldorf-y.

When she gets to Humphrey's desk, he doesn't see her right away, because he has his head in his hands. She has to stand in front of it, making her heels click on the ground to have him look up. At first, he looks at her like he doesn't even recognize her. Then his lips break into a little smile.

"Hey, right on time" he gets up, takes his messenger bag with him "Shall we go?"

Blair nods, and they are on their way. He asks her about the exhibit as they walk to the restaurant. Blair talks and he just listens. It is a change from the previous night, and that is what gets Blair's attention. He doesn't really look himself, and she thinks of what Serena told her.

At one point, Dan stops walking and starts to fumble into his bag. Blair stops with him.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Dan nods "Just getting our lunch"

Blair looks at him, confused. They are still standing in the streets. Coma has clearly made him delusional. She looks around, to find hope in the sight of a restaurant nearby, and she spots a food trunk. Oh, hell no.

"Humphrey!" she scoffs as she sees him approaching the blue vehicle "Don't you dare feed me whatever comes out of it"

"Relax, Blair. It's just food"

"Precisely! Who knows what they have going on in there"

Dan ignores, and takes two bag and two ice teas from the man. Then he hands one to Blair.

"You're going to like it. I promise" he says "And that way, we have time for a digestive walk in Central Park before we go to the exhibit"

Blair purses her lips as she accepts. After they've eaten, sitting on a bench, Dan seems a bit chipper. Blair laughs internally at the stereotype. The man was just hungry. But as soon as they start walking again, to go on that walk he was bragging about, Dan looks like he has to focus all his energy on each step he is taking. Blair continues to talk, watching him from the corner of her eyes. Then it comes to a point where she cannot take it anymore.

"Humphrey…"

"Dan"

"Are you alright?" she ignores him, and tries to sound the most annoyed possible.

"I'm fine" Dan cracks his neck "I just feel a bit sore"

He moves to start walking again, and Blair sees him stagger a little. He is far from fine. The good thing is he seems to be aware of it, because he goes to sit on a bench. Blair joins him.

"Oh my God, you are damp with sweat" Blair scrunches her nose "And so pale"

"I don't…" Dan starts saying, then Blair watch as his eyeballs roll in the back of his head and his whole body just slips numbly from the bench, falling onto the floor.

Shit.

Blair stands and starts taping her foot right next to his body, trying to come up with a plan. A jogger spots them, and offers his help. Blair accepts and after she calls a car, have the man help Dan walk to the entrance of the park.

Once they are in the car, Dan seems to regain more consciousness.

"I am so sorry" he mumbles "It must be the heat outside"

"Oh just shut up, Humphrey. I am taking you home, I already called the doctor"

She expects him to protest, but he just nods.

"Are you mad we're not going to the exhibit?" he asks

"It's still there for a few days" Blair shrugs "And I would rather go alone, anyway"

Dan stares at her for a moment, and Blair stares back, defiant.

"You're the one who asked me to come with you" he says, sounding a bit bitter.

Blair sighs.

"I know, Humphrey"

/

Dan is surprised when the "home" she referred to in the car turns out to be hers, and not his. Blair explains that the combination of his condition and the traffic to Brooklyn would not benefit anyone. He seems too weak to protest when she orders him to go lay down in the guest room, before having Dorota preparing him a cup of tea.

Dorota asks if he is the one she went on a date with. Blair rolls her eyes, because she hasn't dated anyone since her divorce, and she isn't going to start with Dan Humphrey.

Although, it does feels quite nice to have a man in her life, in any form. It's something that she was depraved of in her marriage, and that she depraved herself of after. She just wouldn't admit out loud that she wanted to look good for her little outing with Humphrey, and that she changed twice before leaving the penthouse.

The doctor comes by, and talks to Blair afterwards. He explains that Dan just needs to rest, and that he shouldn't have gone back to work so soon after waking up from a one-month long coma.

Blair never even thought of that, when he told her to meet him at his office. While Dorota sees the doctor out, Blair goes up the stairs and knocks on the guest room door.

"Come in"

She pushes the door open, and finds Dan lying under the covers, looking paler as ever.

"Are you going to die in my bed?" she asks

Dan chuckles "It wouldn't be the worst place in the world to die at. What do you put in those pillows to make them so soft and comfy?"

Blair doesn't laugh with him. She actually doesn't react at all, and eventually, his smile fades away.

"Thank you for today, Blair" he says in a cough "One more incident like this one, and I'll have to hire you as a permanent nurse"

"A permanent nurse who lives in a penthouse. Sounds plausible"

This time, she stretches her lips a little to show him that it's a joke, and he gets it, smiling too.

"You can rest here until you feel better" she says "I'll tell Dorota not to disturb you while you sleep"

"Um" Dan coughs and sits up "It won't be necessary. I'm not tired anyway."

"Humphrey. You look exhausted. When was the last time you even slept?"

"Actually, I haven't been sleeping a lot, lately"

It sounds like a confession. His tone is wary, and a bit shameful. Blair frowns.

"Why?" she asks, then gets annoyed with herself.

Why does she even care?

"Coma can be pretty traumatizing" Dan rubs his face "And now, every time I fall asleep, I'm scared that…"

"That you won't be able to wake up" Blair finishes.

She knows it, because she felt it, but in a different way. For her, she sometimes actually wishes not to wake up.

Blair goes to her room to pick up her purse, and then returns to the guest room.

"I still have your book" she says, sitting on the edge of the bed "I forgot to give it back to you, last night."

She takes it out of her purse and hands it to him.

"Perhaps reading it will help"

Dan looks at the book, brows furrowed, and back at her.

"Would you read it to me?" he asks, without an ounce of hesitation in his voice.

That's what unhinges Blair. They stare at each other, she tries to take a decision. Before she even accepts, Dan lies back on the bed, head against a pillow, and closes his eyes.

"I'm waiting" he says.

Blair purses her lips.

"One day, I'll stop feeling bad for you being in a coma, and things will get back to normal."

He doesn't answer, but she sees him smile. She starts where she stopped when he woke up, on page 126. She is turning page 130 when she hears him snore.

/

It's half past ten in the evening when he wakes up. He slept nine hours. Meanwhile, Blair vacated to her occupation, checking on him only twice. She is watching a movie downstairs, dressed in her night robe, and she is distracted by his shadow lurking around the dark penthouse. Everything is silent, except for Gregory Peck's voice. Dorota is long gone, and the city is getting ready to sleep.

"Hey" Dan says

"Hey" Blair answers.

He put his shoes back on, but not his watch. He doesn't have his bag. It's like he was getting ready to leave, but didn't really want to. Blair shakes the thought out of her head.

"You look better" she says, standing up from the couch "Do you want to eat something? There's still some of Dorota's cucumber soup"

"Is cheeseburger an option, here?"

Blair rolls her eyes, and shows him to follow her. He eats two bowls of soup, and a bowl of ice cream afterward. Blair is amused, because she does kind of feel like a nurse to him.

"I was watching The Postman" she says "Do you want to join?"

"I should go" Dan says, before she even finishes her own sentence.

"Oh. Right"

"I don't want to abuse of your hospitality" Dan says. Then he laughs "Wow, Blair Waldorf knows hospitality"

"I do" Blair retorts a bit offended "As a matter of fact, I was going to tell you to stay the night here, since it's so late and you unfortunately live in Brooklyn. Seriously Humphrey, how many inconvenient situations are you going to find yourself into before you get out of that dump?"

Dan laughs "I appreciate the offer, but I really think I should go"

"As you wish"

"Thanks again, Blair"

It's not like the night before, when they didn't seem to know what to do with their bodies. This time, Dan walks toward her confidently, and takes her in his arms, pulling her into a loose embrace, the kind one would give a friend. Blair surprises them both by responding. As soon as her arms are locked around him, she can feel his breathing getting heavier, and she is sure hers is inexistent.

They are rigid against each other, not knowing how to move. Then one of Dan's hands descends on her back and he pulls his head away a bit, to look at her. Blair looks back, and when she sees his eyes on her lips, she wonders if this should really be her life.

He is kissing her before she can even realize it. His lips part hers slowly, and she can see he shut his eyes, while one of his hands cups her cheek. Blair tries really hard not to close her eyes, because as soon as she does, she is going to…

Too late.

Her eyes are closed, and she is kissing back, and the movie in the background makes noises that don't really match the moment. But she stops noticing it when Dan's tongue nips on her lips, and when he does some noise with the back of his throat as she grants him access.

Blair hasn't kissed a man since her divorce, she doesn't even know about Humphrey's current love life situation. She just knows that he smells nice, and that he holds onto her like she's porcelain, when he is actually the weakest of them right now.

They pull away for air, breathing loudly, foreheads touching.

"Or I could stay" he whispers.

Blair nods hesitantly.

"If you'll have me, of course" he adds, seeing her reserve.

Blair grabs the back of his neck to kiss him again, giving him her answer. She walks backward until her knees touch the couch, and makes them sit on it, lips still locked. Blair doesn't waste time. She straddles him on the couch. His hands rest politely on her waist, but his lips are harsh on her neck. Blair whimpers, it's been so long, and Humphrey is good at this. She gets rid of her robe, staying in her nightdress, then reaches between them to lift his shirt.

"Blair, wait, it's not good for me" Dan halts her by putting his hand on hers.

It's like a cold shower. She is so shocked, or struck by humiliation that she can only look at him. Dan sees her and raises his eyebrows in horror.

"No, no" he says "It has nothing to do with you. You are…" he looks over her body and has a nervous laugh "God, you are…but it's just that the doctor told me that I should hold off that kind of activities and…well…I don't want to…but it's definitely not you."

Blair slips off his laps, falls next to him on the couch, a bit relieved, but more confused.

"So…why did you want to stay?" she asks.

Dan blinks "To be with you"

He says it with the tone of evidence, an evidence pierced with sincerity. Blair doesn't know what to do with that. A few seconds ago, she was ready to sleep with him, without thinking of the consequences, and now it's like she is stuck in the aftermath, without the benefit of the sex.

Dan shifts to face her, and cups her cheek.

"It's like you said, yesterday. To be alone, but together"

He leans to kiss her again. Blair is aware of the credits rolling on the screen, and of her tight heart loosening a bit.

/

Blair doesn't know if they are dating. They have a lot of lunch dates, and brunch dates, and she takes him to the Morgan with her, but she doesn't know where they stand. But they kiss a lot. And they touch a lot. Dan is still recovering from his accident, so they don't do more.

She didn't tell anyone. She can't tell Serena, obviously. And she doesn't have anyone else to talk to, so she keeps quiet. She assumed he was doing the same, until he admitted he had told Vanessa. And suddenly, whatever is happening between them takes an extent that she didn't expect, in her life, and in her brain.

She calls him Dan, now. Sometimes she goes back to Humphrey, when he is annoying her, but it's mostly Dan. It feels strange. She feels like a different person when she says it. But she doesn't dislike it.

She assumes they are dating the day he has his last check up at the hospital, and comes over to her penthouse instead of going home. He kisses her, pulls her against him, and they have sex in her kitchen, completely clothed. It's rushed, because it's been a long time for the both of them, and she doesn't even remember if they used a condom. All she can remember is his teeth on her neck, her dress bucked around her hips and one of her stiletto heel digging into his leg. She can hear his "Yes, Blair" for a while afterward.

She assumes they are dating when he pins the take out menu of her favorite Japanese restaurant on his fridge, and when she starts taking the pill.

She knows they are dating when one night, as they are lying in his bed after having made up for their less than ideal first time, he tells her about his fight with Rufus; the one right before the accident.

"He wants me to quit my job" Dan says, staring at the ceiling, fingers grazing her arm.

"Why?"

"Because he knows I hate it. But I can't"

Blair shifts closer to him, connecting their naked, still hot skin together. She likes the sound of his voice when he talks to her, late at night. It's not really a whisper, but it's as if he is scared of waking someone –Cedric, perhaps –and his tone is moderated. It sends shivers through her.

"Why not?" she asks, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.

"Because if I quit, my only other option is to be a writer. To write an actual novel. And I know I'm not able to."

"I think you are"

Dan laughs, leans to kiss the tip of her nose.

"You're optimistic. The thing is, I've always postponed being a writer, because I want it so much, I don't think I could handle the disappointment of discovering it's not what I expected."

"You don't have to write novels. You can write short stories. About me"

The joke doesn't land, Dan still looks at the ceiling, and she can see his Adam's apple move as he swallows.

"I did write something" he says, and now it's a whisper "I started it when we were in high school"

"Is it finished?"

Dan nods.

"Can I read it?" Blair asks, eager.

"I don't think so"

It's not a complete refusal. It sounds more like preservation. Blair tries not to look too disappointed.

"And you don't want to publish it?"

Dan shakes his head. Blair moves to climb on top of him, the sheets around her body.

"Then put it behind for good. And start something else" she says. "It's an order"

Da laughs a little, moves his hips so that their lower bodies meet. Blair moans.

"Deal" he says, still moving "But you have to promise me that you'll apply for a job too. I know you get bored, all day at home"

"Mmh" Blair closes her eyes, and bites her lip, barely listening.

"Promise me, Blair"

"I promise"

She likes watching him fall asleep. He doesn't look very different than when he was in a coma, and Blair can see the being she felt pulled to, without any rational reasons.

She knows they are dating when, as the summer ends, he tells her that he wants to take her to family brunch. Blair immediately refuses, because Chuck and Serena will be there, and she hasn't told either of them. Dan explains calmly that this way, they could explain together.

She doesn't change her mind until the very last moment, when he brings up the fact that unless she doesn't want to be with him, sooner or later, they are going to have to tell. Blair doesn't realize until they greet Vanya at the entrance of the building that her coming with him states that she wants to be with him. Dan Humphrey. From Brooklyn.

Dan cuts right to the chase when they walk in.

"Blair and I are dating, and we're happy"

Rufus and Lily raise their eyebrows, Chuck and Serena scrunch theirs. Jared throws apple sauce on the wall.

For the first time in years, Blair speaks out. When Chuck asks if it's a joke, she answers a simple no. When Serena accuses her of doing it behind her back, Blair explains that she simply wanted to know where she was standing before making anything official.

"And where are you standing?" Serena asks.

Blair takes a deep breath "Humphrey and I are dating, and we're happy"

Chuck leaves with a coarse word, that Sophie repeats for two full hours after that.

Serena is having a hard time adjusting with the situation, and focuses on her kids. It's the only reason why Blair becomes sort of friends with Vanessa. It's a last resort. As soon as Serena comes around, and they can be "S&B" again, Vanessa will be like a fashion faux-pas in Blair's existence.

Or so she thinks. She has to get used to her and Jenny showing up randomly at the loft. And it turns out Vanessa doesn't have the worst tastes in movies. And her tofu burgers are actually tasty.

Blair is not sure what Dan did to her exactly.

He quits Vanity Fair, and gets her an interview at W magazine. Blair is immediately hired, and he comes to have lunch with her every Wednesday, reading to her his latest work while she chews on the sandwich he picked up at the blue food truck.

When the card for the Constance Billard – St. Jude ten years reunion for the class of 2009 comes in the mail, they both agree that neither of them wants to go. Then Serena makes a little scene about never getting to see Blair anymore, and they both reluctantly accept to go.

She and Serena go shopping together. They have to show that if anything hasn't changed, it's the fact that they should be the focus of a party. Blair knows however that she doesn't need a stunning outfit to do so. Showing up on Dan's arm will be plenty enough.

He looks good in tuxedos, and it makes her relax as they walk up the stairs of the building for the first time in ten years.

They enter the hall. Everyone stares. Serena is in a corner, and gives them a little wave to catch their attention. Nate is talking with Penelope, and smiles at them, lifting his glass as a greeting. Blair can see Chuck turning away from them. He is alone.

Then the whispering starts. As they walk in, Blair can hear the unpleasant shushing of hypocrite voices. She finds out that it doesn't really bother her, and that she doesn't care. She stops listening when Dan takes her hand in his.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Blair turns to him with a smile. She kisses him on the cheek. She knows exactly, now, what Dan did to her.

Life is happening again.


Hope you enjoyed it! I loved writing it. But I get that some parts are more gratifying for the author than the reader. I want to tell you guys that I got all your messages while I was away!

See you very soon.

Love, xo.