A/N: What would have happened if Clarke had actually taken the flame when she tried to in season 4?
A one shot that just got stuck in my head and needed to get out. It's a Nilarke theme with a Clexa intermission... Best I can do to explain it. Anyway, enjoy. If anything else comes to me on this theme, I'll write it and add it.
"Put the flame in me," Clarke said firmly, drawing the blade across her hand. The black blood dripped down to the floor. The flamekeeper's eyes went wide.
"This is unusual."
"I'm the last nightblood. Give me the flame." Clarke's stubborn voice rang out over the gathered crowd. The fleimkepa had no choice but to obey. Clarke took her place on the throne, and gave one grimace as the cut was made on her neck. She felt a little sick as the chip was inserted. And then suddenly, she was elsewhere.
She opened her eyes. She was still in the Heda's throne room, but all the ambassadors were gone, replaced by over a dozen men and women in full armor and war paint. As she looked over them, they each knelt in turn before her. The previous Commanders, she realized with a start. She looked around more closely, anxious to find the one face she should recognize.
"Yes, Clarke," A voice called from behind a tall man. As he knelt down, she saw Lexa. She looked exactly as she had in the City of Light. Fierce, deadly. Mine, Clarke thought vehemently. Lexa stepped forward.
"Always yours," Lexa whispered as she got close. She dropped down to her knees in front of the blonde, who shook her head quickly.
"No, you never bow to me," She tried to tug Lexa to her feet, but she would not be moved.
"You are Heda now," Lexa explained. "We all bow to you, and we are all at your disposal. We will see what you see, hear your thoughts, and we can guide your decisions and give you the benefit of our experience. If you wish it."
Clarke nodded, understanding. "Regardless, none of you will bow to me."
"It is our way, Heda," A burly man to Clarke's left said. "We show you the respect you deserve."
"As Heda," Clarke said loudly. "I order you not to bow to me." She reached a hand down to Lexa and finally succeeded in pulling her up.
"Heda for two minutes and already giving orders?" Lexa laughed lightly. The other Commanders stood as well. Clarke wasted no time in wrapping her arms around the taller girl, breathing in the scent of her.
"I wish I had time to spend with you," Clarke said, her eyes filling with tears. "There is too much to do to protect our people."
"Whenever you go back, it will be as if only a few seconds have passed. We have time," Lexa said quietly. Clarke looked up at the gathered Commanders.
"Can we have a few minutes alone?" she asked. One by one, the Commanders around them disappeared, leaving Lexa and Clarke standing alone. She looked at Lexa questioningly.
"We are in your head, Clarke. You control what happens and who you see. Although it hardly matters," She confessed. "They still know what we speak of. And everything you do or have done. One of the downfalls of having all of us in your head. It saves time if you ever need to speak with us. You will not have to explain the situation."
"Wait, so you see every memory I've ever had? All my thoughts?" Clarke's eyebrows raised.
Lexa chuckled. "Don't worry, Clarke. I've enjoyed them. Especially your thoughts about me," she teased, bringing her hands up to Clarke's face. Clarke's face warmed considerably.
"I've seen your other thoughts too," Lexa said, drawing back slightly. Clarke looked questioningly at her.
"You do her a disservice," Lexa whispered. "She loves you. But you cling to the memory of me."
"There's just not anyone else but you for me Lexa."
"Of course there is, Clarke," Lexa argued. "My fight is over. I loved you, SkaiGirl, and I know you loved me. But your heart is so much bigger than just that. There is space to love us both. Do you think I stopped loving Costia when I fell for you?"
Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but Lexa cut her off.
"Don't try to tell me you don't love her. I know better. I've seen your thoughts and your heart, Wanheda. I've seen you with her. The memory of your first time together... It's a beautiful memory, Clarke. You were so wild and unrestrained. You didn't think. You just felt. Your heart sings for her. It's time you let it. And its time you told her."
"I think we have bigger problems to deal with than my love life, Lexa. Praimfaya is just days away. We need to figure out a solution."
"You already know what you will do, Heda. There is nothing left to discuss. What you actually seek is forgiveness for the order you must give. You've taken on a great responsibility because you want as many of our people to survive as possible. You will be doing the right thing. Making the hard choice."
Clarke's eyes filled with tears. "I will bear it. So they don't have to."
Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde tightly. "You will be strong for our people."
Clarke sighed. "Can we stay like this forever?" she asked hopefully.
"No," Lexa said truthfully. "You have work to do. And I expect you will take my advice abut Niylah." she pulled back just enough press a searing kiss on Clarke's waiting lips. "You can love us both."
Clarke allowed one tear to fall before she stepped back to rejoin the real world.
