A/N: This is based on a concept me and my brainstorming buddy, Vampi, have been discussing. It's based on a scene from the comics where Bucky fights a bear. I don't know what the context is and I don't want to. I just want to enjoy that mental image. And also write a fanfic about it.
So here it is. I hope you all enjoy!
"Ah, the great outdoors!"
Bucky lifted his head to take a nice long whiff of the fresh mountain air. He dropped his pack next to the tent Steve had been trying for ten minutes to set up. Jane held the tarp in place while Steve attempted to untangle the ropes. The other tent was pitched and tied down just a few feet away. Steve had sulked like a baby when Bucky got it up in under a minute, and since then he'd refused all help from him.
"Just us at peace with nature," he said. "Living off the fat of the land, just like when we were kids, right Steve?"
Steve had one half of the tarp over his head, and he was having trouble finding his way out. He said something muffled and angry sounding. Bucky thought he heard 'jerk' in there and grinned.
"This wouldn't be happening if you'd let me help."
"James, don't tease him," said Jane.
Bucky pouted at his wife. She always took Steve's side.
A tiny hand pulled on his pants leg, and Bucky looked down to meet the wide brown eyes of his son.
"Dad, why couldn't I bring my iPad?"
Oh not this again.
"I told you. We're going without modern technology this weekend. We have a radio and a GPS tracker. That's all we need."
"But what if I get bored?"
"You don't need a stupid iPad to have fun. You think your Uncle Steve and I just sat around looking at iPads all day when we were your age?"
"You didn't have iPads in the forties, Dad."
"I know tha- what do you even need one for? You're five years old!"
"I need it to watch Spongebob!"
"Jacob, just- just go practice reading in the tent while I get the firewood."
He started to leave the campsite, Jacob stomping along with his cheeks puffed out and his fists clenched. Bucky was unmoved, and he briskly strolled to the line of trees beyond the road. He stopped short when he realized his son's footsteps hadn't faded.
"Can I come?" Jacob asked. "I can help you carry the wood."
Bucky looked down, down, down at his three and a half foot tall son, who never seemed to get that just because the pediatrician marveled at how strong he was for a boy his age, didn't mean he could just do whatever he wanted.
"You know, to have enough wood for the fire, I'll probably need to collect almost a hundred pounds worth. Think you can carry all that?"
Jacob blanched. He looked down at his feet.
"I could try."
"Go to the tent."
Jacob did so without further complaint (at least not verbally). Bucky watched first that he went in and waited to see if he'd try sneaking out the other way or burrowing through the ground. Once he was satisfied, he entered the woods. He came back with an armful of wood placed it in the fireplace for later. Sunset wasn't for another couple of hours, but he liked to be prepared.
Steve got the tent up more or less within the next half hour. As he drove the spike into the dirt, the punk had never looked so proud of himself. Bucky applauded his work and got a death glare in return. Someone was in a bad mood today.
At least Steve was less irritable once lunch was served. Neither of them had eaten since this morning, they were so busy with preparing for the trip. Not such a great idea for super soldiers. Steve had devoured two sandwiches and was just starting on a third when he decided to break the silence.
"How about a hike when we're done eating?" He nodded at the hilly land due south, just over Bucky's head. "The trail leads to a lake that's good for fishing. Would do you say, Buck? Wanna show Jane and Jacob how it's done?"
Bucky looked at Jacob, who still mourned the loss of his iPad but seemed to perk up at the idea of going on an adventure. He looked at Jane, who gave him that look.
"Actually, why don't you and Jacob go it alone this time?"
Steve looked at him, confused.
"You're not coming?"
Jane scooted closer to Bucky, putting her hand on top of his.
"We'd just like a little alone time, Steve," she said. "James and I have some things to discuss."
"Besides, I'm sure Jacob would love to spend some quality time with his Uncle Steve. You can take the long way."
"Say no more." Steve shot off the log, taking Jacob with him. He swung him up over his shoulder, making him squeal and break out in giggles. "Let's go, squirt."
"Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!" Jacob waved with both hands. "I'll catch a real big fish for dinner."
"You do that, son," Bucky said, his eyes firmly on Jane and the hint of bare skin under the single undone button of her shirt.
They disappeared through a cluster of bushes. Steve's steps were heavy in the grass, but he was fast. Soon only the sounds of birds and rustling leaves remained. Jane slid across makeshift bench into Bucky's lap, her eyes darkening with lust.
"Alone at last," she whispered in his ear. She bit down on his earlobe, making him shiver. Her tongue laved over the bitemarks, soothing the wisps of pain.
"Thank God," Bucky said, and with a growl he pounced on her.
Jane let out a happy sigh as Bucky attacked her neck, undoing her buttons one handed and sliding the shirt off of her body. He kissed the skin above her bra, fingers deftly going for the hook in the back.
"You sure they won't hear?" Jane asked.
"They're half a mile away by now. We're fine. Just relax and enjoy it, babe."
Bucky carried her to the van, her bra hanging they the strap off her wrist. She shook it off and pawed at his shirt. The back of the van was spacious enough that she could stretch out with ease, her body exposed to his hungry eyes. She arched her back up, letting her chest jut out. Bucky licked his lips and went for his jeans. He stopped to rip his shirt off first, then the pants flew with them. Jane's were the last to join the pile of clothing. Her panties wound up in a tree or something. Bucky didn't know. He'd been so eager to get her naked that he hadn't bothered to watch where they went when he threw them.
"God, I missed this," he said. He crawled on top of her, careful to keep his weight on his knees. "Remember the last time we went camping?"
"You mean before Jacob was born?" She smiled. "I remember a few things."
Bucky's eyebrows shot up. "Only a few?"
"Excuse me, Mr. Barnes, but after everything you did to me back then, it's a miracle I can still walk, let alone remember it."
"Is that so?" He lowered himself, pinning her down with his massive body. Her legs were spread wide for him, and he nestled between them. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head at the feel of him pushing inside her. He kept his pace deliberately slow. It was a dirty tactic, but he just couldn't help torturing her a little. "Well, Mrs. Barnes, I guess I'll have to work extra hard to top myself."
He sunk in deep, as far as he could go until Jane was crying out in pleasure. He kissed her hard, muffling the noise. He waited to adjust and start moving before letting her go. His Jane was a screamer, and he wanted to hear every sound she could make for him. He just hoped he was right and Steve really had gotten himself and Jacob very far away.
"Uncle Steve, did you hear that?"
Steve did in fact hear a distinctive female voice far in the distance. It grew louder and more high pitched, and if he wasn't mistaken, there was some male grunting mixed in.
Unbelievable, those two.
"It's probably just an animal," he said, feigning indifference. "Come on, pal, we've still got a ways to go before we reach the lake."
They walked another quarter of a mile. Steve could still hear them, but fainter this time. For once, he cursed his enhanced hearing, that even this far out he was still subjected to his best friend's 'private time' with his wife. Then he cursed Bucky for passing those enhanced senses onto his son.
"It sounds like a bird," he said, pointing his ear up to the sky. "Maybe it's a screech owl."
"It doesn't matter, Jacob. Let's keep going."
"What do you think it's doing?"
"I don't know. Probably just calling for its friends."
"Do you think it's mating?"
Steve almost missed a large root protruding from the ground and had to spin all the way around to avoid tripping.
"Do I think- what?"
Jacob was unperturbed. "I read about animal mating habits online. Some species attempt to attract mates through a loud scream like what we're hearing. Others use these things called 'phermones', and they're like this stuff in the air that makes all the other animals go crazy."
"That's really interesting."
"And did you know some animals go to the bathroom through their mouth?"
'What the hell are they teaching this kid?'
Bucky gritted his teeth hard enough to break them. His hands were lost in Jane's hair, holding her in place as her lips closed around him. Her tongue was like magic. It brought him close to the edge and he struggled to pull back. Jane didn't like that one bit. She hummed in the back of her throat and took him in deeper. One hand played with his balls, and that was about all he could take.
"Fuuuck."
He came hard and pulled away, allowing Jane to catch her breath. She sat against the car wall, curled up with her legs open. Bucky could see that she was no less excited now than when they started. Her face was flushed and her skin coated in sweat. He crawled over to her, trapping her in the cage of his arms. She fluttered her eyelashes at him.
"What are you going to do to me now?"
There was some movement in the trees, but Bucky dismissed it.
"Let me think. " Bucky dragged his fingers along her leg to her thigh, and all the way up to her soaking wet core. "Guess the first thing I'll do is return the favor."
He trailed kisses down her chest to her clit. Jane gasped and moaned, so many beautiful sounds that it completely drowned out whatever was nosing around out of sight. At least for him.
"You hear that?" Jane slurred.
She was bright red and close to the brink, but not looking at him like she should have been.
"It's just a squirrel or something," he said. "Don't worry about it."
He pressed kisses along her inner thigh, hoping to draw her back under his spell.
"Sounds bigger than a squirrel."
Bucky nibbled at her skin, humming nothing words and wanting only to enjoy feasting upon her without all this talk of little woodland critters that couldn't be bothered tolook for their dinner somewhere else. They never had this problem the last time around.
"Ignore it and it'll go away."
"I think it's getting closer."
At this point, he couldn't even chalk it up to her imagination. He could hear it, too. Whatever it was had a gait like a human, but the timing of its steps was inconsistent. It was more likely something four legged. That would be troubling on its own without the deep, rumbling growl magnified by the open space.
Bucky reluctantly lifted his head, just in time for a bear to burst through the trees and rush at them with an earth-shattering roar.
Jane screamed. Bucky sprang out of the van and pushed her inside. He moved faster than he ever had in his life, faster than even a super soldier should be capable of. The second the bear appeared, he'd gone fully into battle mode, and his only concern was protecting his wife.
He slammed the door shut and it locked automatically. Jane was safe for now, so Bucky rounded on the bear and lunged at it. If he'd had a gun in his hand, this fight would've been over before it started. The two hunting rifles and the flare gun were currently locked in the truck with Jane, and his backup arsenal was at home gathering dust, because like an idiot, he hadn't expected to need it out here.
It just goes to show, he'd always need it.
With that option off the table, Bucky was left with one viable option: good old fistcuffs.
He collided with the bear, knocking it back a step. It swiped at him, but Bucky dodged and wrapped his arms around the animal's furry neck. He held on as it jerked him back and forth, trying to shake him off. Bucky moved to get the bear in a headlock and squeezed with all his strength. The bear tumbled to the ground off its hind legs. It fell on its side, and Bucky hissed at the pain to his arm, but held firm.
"Jane, get the gun!"
She had her face pressed into the glass and he could see a blanket wrapped around her naked body. He watched her fumble around, digging through boxes that weren't anywhere near where he'd stashed the guns.
"Where is it?" Jane yelled. "I can't find it!"
"Other side!" The bear was thrashing even harder, teeth gnashing and snapping at his ear. "Get the bigger one and throw it to me. Hurry up!"
"I'm trying!"
"TRY FASTER!"
The bear roared in his face, spewing saliva everywhere. Bucky barely avoided getting it in his mouth by craning his neck up. He sunk his knee into the bear's stomach, using the momentum to flip them over. Now on top of the bear, he nearly lost his grip around its neck. It swung a paw at him, striking his cheek. He grunted in pain, but hung on for dear life.
'Where the hell is Steve when you need him?'
"Did you hear that, Uncle Steve?"
They were close to the top of the hill, halfway between the campsite and the lake. Somewhere behind them, a bear had roared, and then a woman had screamed. What came next sounded less like a brutal mauling and more like a bar brawl, but the knowledge that nobody was dead yet didn't put Steve's mind at ease.
Jacob was already running back to camp. His stubby legs carried him swiftly down the hill, but he wasn't even to the bottom before Steve caught up. Scooping the boy up, Steve took off at top speed, following the trail of their footprints and the crescendo of struggling combatants.
"James, I found it!"
"Throw it out the window!"
"But shouldn't I-"
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING OUT OF THAT VAN! JUST THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"
The bear had its teeth in Bucky's forearm, having pulled its neck free from his grip after a lengthy battle that ended with Bucky flat on his back and dazed. Of course, it had failed to choose the correct arm to chew on, so rather than scream in pain, Bucky was just annoyed that now he'd have to take the damn thing in for maintenance again.
He threw a punch with his flesh arm, going for the neck and getting the shoulder. It still knocked the bear on its side and allowed Bucky time to rush to the van and grab the rifle Jane had tossed into a bush. The bear had since recovered and prepared for another charge. Bucky readied the gun and fired twice. The first shot grazed the bear's back, but the second hit an ear and was lodged inside. It didn't slow the bear down, so Bucky vaulted over its back and swung around to get it into a chokehold. He held on tight as the effects of the tranquilizer finally took hold. Slowly, the bear stopped fighting. Its massive body relaxed and it slumped over in a deep sleep.
Bucky waited another minute to release his hold. He slid to the ground, the adrenaline crashing down around him. His muscles cried out in pain and his bones felt as brittle as a dying man's. He heard Jane come out of the van, and running on the northwest side. That was the direction Steve and Jacob had left in, if he remembered correctly. He opened his eyes and they were standing there, Steve barely out of breath despite how fast he must have gone to get back here. Jacob was gawking at them, his eyes so wide they were too big for his face.
"Dad, you just fought a bear!" he exclaimed.
Bucky glanced back at the unconscious bear. For a second, he'd almost forgotten about it.
"Yeah… I did…"
"My dad fought a bear and won!" Jacob jumped in the air. "This is the best day ever! You're the coolest, Dad!"
Bucky didn't have enough breath yet to answer. He gave a shaky thumbs up. If anything good could have come out of this mess, he was glad his boy was impressed.
"James, are you all right?" Jane was on his other side, the blanket wrapped around her like a toga. There were tears in her eyes and she was fussing over a cut on the side of his head. "Is anything else bleeding?"
"I don't think so," he grunted. "My arm hurts a little, but it'll pass."
"I'll get the first aid kit," said Steve helpfully.
"Get me some water, too," Bucky called after him. "And a blanket. It's freezing out here."
Jacob blinked his eyes twice, then tilted his head.
"Why are you naked, Dad? And why is Mom wearing a sheet?"
Bucky and Jane looked at each other. Inside the van, Steve shook his head like a disapproving parent, and he was taking his time with that first aid kit. The stupid asshole was going to make them do this alone.
"Well son…" Bucky coughed. "You're mother and I realized that there was some dirt on our clothes from when we unpacked, and we decided that we should wash them immediately, because you should never wear dirty clothes. It's impolite."
Jane nodded, pulling the sheet up to her neck. They both wore large, identical grins that only served to make Jacob look at them like they were crazy.
"You guys are dumb," he said. "Don't you know you have to put on new clothes first?"
"You're absolutely right," said Jane. "Your parents did a very dumb thing that you should never do."
"Never ever," Bucky agreed.
"Well, if you guys are done with the dirty laundry," said Steve, whom Bucky was going to kill later for sure, "what are we doing about the bear? It's going to wake up soon."
"Nah, not for another few hours," said Bucky. "Those darts are powerful. They could knock out a horse. Let's just pack up and find another campsite. I'm not letting this son of a bitch spoil my weekend."
"You guys will have to wait to finish that laundry, eh?" Steve chuckled.
Bucky matched his tone with a humorless laugh of his own. "Yeah, and I guess you'll have to pitch your tent again."
That wiped the smile right off Steve's prissy face. It gave Bucky all that he needed to get himself up and dressed before Steve even had the first spike out of the ground.
"Mom? Dad?" Jacob yelled from next to the van. "Why is there underwear in the bush?"
A/N: I have to admit, I feel sorry for Jacob here. Ten years from now, he's going to think back on this day and realize exactly why his parents were naked, and why there was underwear in the bush. Then he's going to be scarred for life. Poor kid.
