It was hardly a situation he could be easy about, James thought as he paced in the hall of the Governor's house He could only wonder why after the Governor had badgered him into this he was being put off. He had no expectation that his second proposal to Elizabeth Swann would be any better received than the first but he had said he would make it. Though at least he could expect that he would neither have to wait as long for an answer or have to worry about her falling off the battlements.
It was less nerve wracking, he had to admit to know going in that he would be turned down. It made the whole thing an exercise in humiliation but he could not deny that he owed Weatherby Swann. The man had asked him to consider once again courting his daughter. James had agreed. It was not as if the idea was objectionable to him. For all her ruined reputation on her return to Port Royal, she still held a certain fascination for James. He could admit that if only to himself. It was just that he could not see it going well. She had not wanted him as a fresh-faced debutante; he doubted she would have changed her mind just because of a lack of options. She was if nothing else stubborn. And James was aware that just because Will Turner had not come back with her, it did not mean she did not expect him at some point. The Governor had secured pardon's for all three of them after Beckett's machinations even if Turner's had only been on Elizabeth's behalf.
When he was eventually shown into see her she was curled up on a chaise lounge in the downstairs sitting room, he knew she favoured for being out of the way. Her hair was neither styled not pinned and hung in her face and she was engrossed in a book. She was wearing the oddest assortment of clothing - plain black trousers of the sort any common deck hand might wear paired with a shirt of vivid blue silk embroidered with oriental designs. Her feet were bare and she did not so much as look up at him. He paused - this then explained the delay in his being permitted into see her. No doubt her father had tried and failed to coax her into something more seemly.
"I apologise if I am intruding," he said awkwardly. She glanced up and blinked at him – apparently he was a surprise. What had her father told her? he wondered.
"No," she said with a wry smile. "You're quite welcome James. I just didn't feel the need for pretence." She set down the book. "Should I ring for refreshments - I had no idea it would be you. Father was making such a fuss I assumed it was going to be another of the suitors he's bribed or bullied into offering for me." She sent a maid for some tea while James stood awkwardly - perhaps this could go nearly as badly as the first proposal. Elizabeth carried on without a response from him in her criticism of her father's attempt to salvage her reputation. "He's become quite resourceful - I can have my pick of the destitute gamblers with a decent name and quite a few second born sons in need of a rich father in law it seems."
James cleared his throat, lost for words and that it seemed was enough for her to realise.
"Oh," she said and actually looked a little flummoxed for once. "Oh I see." She smiled awkwardly. "Goodness James, surely you aren't badly enough off to have to consider me."
"No," he said. "No - I owe your father a great deal. But it is not a financial debt." While he had no expectation of her agreeing to his proposal his pride still stung at the idea she could consider him mercenary.
A maid brought a tea tray then which silenced them both and whatever James had planned to say goes right out of his head so he is glad of the distraction of the drink.
He took a breath. "Well I don't suppose you can decline me until I ask," he said, though he offered up a small smile to show he did not mean to berate her for her lack of interest. If nothing else he could appreciate the absurdity of it all. "Whatever they say - I still consider you a fine woman, Elizabeth. And I do not offer for your father's sake alone. We have always been friends. If a marriage of convenience had any appeal to you at all I think we could rub along well together." They had been as friendly as they could be given societies restrictions and while living with her would sting in so many ways he would welcome her company. "So that is my offer."
"James," she said in a soft voice. She patted at his hand –it was far too familiar when he knew she was summoning up a refusal but it was meant kindly he supposed. "It's very kind of you to try and save me from myself. I think yours is the only proposal that's been remotely tempting." He doubted that very much but at least he is being offered a kinder let down than a public rejection this time. "You know if it were not for the baby I might have accepted you just to get away from my father's fussing."
James dropped his teacup startled and winced when it smashed. "Baby?" he said, his voice high pitched with surprise which made him want to clear his throat. He could not bring himself to look at her and stared instead at the ruined china and before he bent to gather up the shattered pieces. He had ruined the rug.
He set the pieces down on the tea tray and took a breath before he finally looked at her again. Elizabeth is surprised but sympathetic "I'm sorry," she said. "I assumed Father had at least been honest with you." She shrugged. "And that you must have known I was in rather desperate straights if you were willing to consider me. I am with child. My father is arranging suitors as one last chance to salvage my reputation and convince me to stay." She dropped one hand to her stomach and James watched her - he saw no sign of pregnancy but he knew that meant little. She would hardly say it if wasn't true. "I mean to go to Nassau and say I'm a widow - he can't bear to have me leave again. Hence the desperate hunt for a son in law."
"You could say you were a widow here," he said appalled at himself for encouraging her to lie - yet it is not as bad as the thought of her leaving.
"Only if Will doesn't show up and name me a liar," she pointed out. "I can't see any reason why he would appear in Nassau and if he did he'd hardly look for me there."
"You think he would do that to you," James said. "Under the circumstance?" Surely Turner would keep quiet for the sake of the child if nothing else. He still did not understand why Elizabeth had come back without him.
"I don't know," Elizabeth admitted. She sounded very young all of a sudden when she told him. "Our parting was . . . acrimonious. And I'd prefer not to take chances. He doesn't know about the baby – I didn't realize myself until I was halfway home. And while it is his child I'm not sure he'd believe me." She blushed at that and James would like very much to have words with Turner and demand he explain this lack of care and attention to Elizabeth's well being. He had no right of course. But he wanted it all the same. They sat in silence for a long while.
Then he tried again. "Nassau is a rough place," he said. "For a widow and small child. Surely you would rather be near your father. You cannot blame him for wanting to know his grandchild. If the only obstacle is the child - I give you my word that if you accept my proposal - I would treat the child as my own."
For a moment she seemed to almost consider it. But she shook her head. "It is a lot to ask." She pointed out. "Too much to ask. There will always be talk. What if the baby looks like Will?"
"Talk will die down," he said. "And it would hardly be unexpected if we were to have a dark haired, dark eyed child." James knew his words were as much to convince himself as much as her. He hoped he was doing a good a job with her as he was with himself.
"You are too good, James," she said. "I don't know what I did to deserve your kindness," she paused a moment. "Or what misdeeds in your past mean you deserve me."
He hated the notion she was equating herself to some sort of punishment no matter how badly things had gone between them in the past. But she had said not said no again so he played along. "You've caught me then," he said. "My deepest secret. I was extremely wicked as a youth."
She blinked and he wondered if he should have defended her instead then she laughed and he relaxed a little as the room became less tense. "What rot," she said, "I think you were born a perfect gentleman, James. It's all the more reason you should want nothing to do with me." Then she surprised him again as she brushed a kiss to his cheek. "I think you should think over what you are getting into," she said frankly. "It's not just another man's child. My reputation is in tatters and I think even my father's influence is not enough to stop that damaging your career." He meant to argue – Beckett's arrest warrant had been a blow. Between that and his failure to capture the Black Pearl meant he knew Commodore would be the highest rank he attained – but it could have been much worse if not for her father but she shushed him before he could. "Please James – take some time." He had rarely heard her sound so uncertain yet she was still sincere. She carried on. "Think on it properly – what you would be getting into. Sleep on it. If you change your mind we don't ever have to speak on this again. If you are set on this – ask again and I promise you an acceptance. An unconditional one." Then she stood and left the room and left him dazed by her news, her response and more than anything herpossible acceptance. He had not so much as let himself consider she might accept him. It would have driven him crazy if he had.
Her request is not unreasonable he knows yet he was bemused by her attempts to warn him off. 'Think on it.' Elizabeth had insisted. James can'thelp but think on it – as if he has not thought on it before. He has never managed to push Elizabeth out of his heart or mind entirely. He took his leave of Governor Swann politely. The man was demonstrably deflated by the lack of news of an engagement. James must have seemed his most likely candidate to succeed. He wondered whom the governor would throw at Elizabeth next – She would not be bullied into a lifeline even in circumstances that any other woman would be glad of any proposal. She would only accept him if he is certain yet it is her who will suffer if she was not wed and soon.
Even her offer of a guaranteed acceptance if he should ask again did not make things easy. He had never really considered they might end up engaged when he had gone to propose and that was without the child. Now he knows what her answer would be if he asked but it was not that simple. A marriage of convenience was never what he wanted but somehow such an arrangement with Elizabeth appeals more than a smart match with a more proper lady; with any other lady. And he can hardly bring himself to care that the child was Turner's when he would have the raising of it. It is more of fatherhood than he would ever have as a bachelor. She may even consent to another child in a couple of years when they are more settled. She had always complained of being an only child when she was younger. It is the fact that if she had any other choice she would not choose him. He never meant to trap her in such a manner even if it were not his action that had forced her to this point.
He could live with her. He knew that. Even at one point in their first engagement he had started to think they would lead separate lives in one household. And it need not be always awkward – it would never be what he once wanted. But he could accept that. And he could not bear to think of her in Nassau alone. He wanted her to stay here and he wanted to marry her.
It made waiting to propose difficult. In the end he waited two days before he went back – Elizabeth had said she would say yes but only if he had thought it over. So he owed her that much and he hardly wanted to be sent away to do more thinking. Given her condition, time is rather of the essence – there will be talk of course when the child comes early but if he can marry her before the pregnancy is evident it will only be gossip and they won't be shunned by society even if there was talk
When he called on Elizabeth, he was startled to find her much more properly dressed – her hair in a soft up do and she wore a stiff linen dress of pale green. He was touched to think she had done this for him when she had made it clear she would not for the other suitors and yet anxious to have her answer despite her promise. Now he had settled his mind he had wondered if she was a certain as she said. It would not be the first change of heart she had had of course. It's why he forgets entirely his prepared speech – the third he has thought of for her and says instead. "Elizabeth, will you marry me?" The question is blurted out before she can so much as offer him refreshments and he blushed for sounding such a green boy.
Elizabeth was not thrown though and she reached for his hand and took it in hers before she assured him. "Of course I will James." There was an expression on her face that he hadn't often seen on her and he thought it was relief – he hoped it was anyway. She kissed his cheek again. "I'll tell my father," she said. "Perhaps you could make the soonest possible arrangement." She blushed there. "Given circumstances."
James nodded – of course she did not want to wait for the banns to be read, he can surely obtain a license by claiming his military duty. Or by revealing her condition and claiming he is responsible.
In the end, neither claim is needed. His future father in law has smoothed that path too and a license is easily obtained. They marry two days later in a small ceremony, with her father and maid as witnesses. Elizabeth did not seem sad which he is grateful for. He did not think he could have born it if she had wept. But she was merely beautiful and relieved again. Her belongings were moved to his home that morning and they shared a wedding breakfast with her father before he took her home.
His home was smaller than the manor he had bought for their first marriage and had promptly sold when their engagement ended. But there was not time for him to find a better property. There is enough room for them each to have their own room though they do adjoin and a room that could be a nursery. Though he assured her he would look into more suitable properties, which seemed to interest her not at all. She seemed both pale and flushed all at once and he wondered suddenly if she was nervous of him. Surely not, his expectations were quite clear and even if not – her condition precluded any sort of notion of wedding night duty. She held tightly to his arm as he showed her the house. There is a moment where she swayed just a little and he guided her to a seat alarmed as she clung to him, her eyes closed.
"I feel sick," she said her grip tight on his arm and James felt his stomach sink. She regretted this already and he felt guilty at his own relief when she added. "The midwife said the nausea is a good sign but it doesn't seem that way to me."
"Oh," he said, his face flushed a little but relieved this is normal for her condition and not as he had taken it a sign of regret. "I am sure it cannot be pleasant but at least the midwife has made it clear it is not a cause for concern. Would you like something to drink? Or perhaps you should rest?"
She shook her head. "No, thank you. I'm sorry. I promise I won't plague you too much over my health. Not under the circumstances."
James stared at her offended. "I think circumstances allow me to worry over the health of my wife and our child." He regretted sounding so possessive almost immediately, he anticipated she would take that poorly. But they had agreed he would stand as the child's father – why should he not take an interest. He tried not to sound annoyed. She was trying to be thoughtful, he knew but he did not want to be spared the details of her health out of consideration. He wanted to act as a father to be. Besides their long acquaintance had made clear that Elizabeth was a terrible patient, who felt most medical restrictions were guidelines at best which only added to his concern. He cleared his throat and tried again to make peace. "That is what we agreed is it not?" he reminded her. She looked uncharacteristically unsure and he tried to be encouraging. "I did spend two days thinking over it," he added in an attempt to make her smile. He had chosen this. He beamed when it works and she offers him a small smile before acquiescing.
"Alright," she said, "but don't think I'll put up with fuss. I'm pregnant not dying." She wrinkles her nose and added. "The midwife recommended ginger for nausea and gave me this awful tea but I can barely stomach that either. But perhaps I should try it."
It took two cups of the tea – reluctantly imbibed and half the afternoon before Elizabeth regained some colour. A cup was forced on him too by Elizabeth who informed him if he was going to fuss, he can be medicated too but it only amused him. He did not think the tea is bad at all but he had enough sense that he refrained from saying so. They spent the rest of their wedding day in the gardens, which Elizabeth was keen on at least. The gardens are nothing special compared to her father's house but they are well kept and the fresh air seems to brighten her at least.
James can see a shape of a life here and it is one he wanted. He even thought he might have convinced Elizabeth of that too by the time they retired to their separate rooms. As he had convinced her his interest in her condition was genuine he had spent half the evening asking over her health and what to expect until she exasperated told him she was not a midwife and could not answer above half his questions. But she had not appeared truly angry. Her words had seemed almost fond for a scold.
He woke the next morning to find Elizabeth's vision for their marriage is not as aligned with his as he thought. She was in his bed, asleep in his arms despite the fact he went to bed alone. Her legs are tangled with his, her hair was loose and fell into her face and her fine shift is so thin that he felt the heat of her skin even as he pulled his hands away from her. She may as well be naked for all it covered her, he thought. He suddenly had no idea where to put his hands and his body reacted in a vey specific way to her presence, which he did not want her to know about. He decided the best thing was to get up and leave her to her sleep but she stirred when he moved, wriggled closer to him, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Stop that," she scolded. "I was comfortable." That touched him a little. That she was comfortable with him even if she had chosen the most bizarre and brazen way to show it. He lay still and let one hand settle in the small of her back. Elizabeth laid one hand on his chest, pillowed her head on his arm and appeared to doze while he watched her sleep.
It was nearly an hour later when he attempted to move again – if only because he had lost all feeling in the arm she was lying on. He shifts slightly and watches her stretch and tried to hide a yawn, before she settled back onto his pillow. Cautiously he slipped his hand round from the small of her back to the flat of her stomach. This made her stir and he retreated feeling guilty. "There is nothing to feel yet," she murmured sleepily, "but you are welcome to try." He let his hand slip back to her stomach and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Nothing yet but she will not hold him at a distance when there is something to be seen. He can't help but find that a promising beginning.
