You're Better Than Me
By: Priscilla Violet Regina
Disclaimer: I know, I should own these wonderful toys, but, unfortunately...I don't. *sniffle*
"Meiran? Where are you, Meiran? the little Chinese boy tauntingly called, looking around behind chairs and under tables, a wide smile on his face. Turning a corner, he was surprised as tiny pale arms wrapped around his waist, squeezing tightly.
"Haha, I've got you Wufei!" the sloe eyed girl taunted, grinning broadly.
"C'mon Meiran, let go!" Wufei pleaded, squirming in her grasp.
The girl shook her head, eyes sparkling. "Not until you say it!"
Wufei sighed, knowing he could not get away. "Fine..." his quickly forming pride failed him. "You're better than me."
That was the last time I ever admitted to anyone. But then, how could I betray myself like that after all I'd been through following those wonderful days of childhood innocence? No one after Meiran, my lovely Meiran, ever equaled my skills and strength...at least in my eyes. I'm sure there was someone who at least equaled me, and many more who surpassed me, yet I blinded myself to the beauty of their strength. I had to. It was the only way to succeed.
And then there was Treize. Damn him and his talents! Damn his perfect skills and wonderful ways of dealing with problems. Treize Khushrenada, I could kill you! I envy you like no one I've ever known. The caring way you treat your soldiers, those people willing to die for you...I'd die for you, Treize. I'd die for your strength, for your courage, a thousand times over. Your complex personality confuses me, making me hate you one moment, the love you the next. Why...why must you torment me like this? Why?
Sally came close to challenging me. She really did. That crazy onna did everything to prove herself worthy of me, my approval...and my love. But how could I love her? How could I show her the same affection I showed to my darling Meiran?
Or to Treize?
I know I hurt her in every way possible, most of the time not meaning to. Notice I said "most." I believe you have to experience pain to actually live. I did. I do now as I battle with Treize, not only physically, but emotionally, too. We shouldn't be fighting, we're the good guys here! Both wanting to protect the Earth, not destroy it. I could back down, put away Nataku's weapons and tell him I surrender, but...
Then he'd know he's better than me. It would be the same as when Meiran snuck up behind me when I should have been watching my back. The same, surrendering to the person I love.
Oh Treize...
I just...I just can't. I can't let you know. Because if you beat me, you'd live on, always knowing. And I would die, or, even worse, you'd allow me to live, knowing you know.
I would expect you to gloat, but no...you're better than that. You would just quietly smile as you passed me, maybe at a supermarket or on the street, knowing...
Knowing...
That you're better than me.
-Owari
Dedicated to Jael, who loves Wufei with a passion I can never understand! ~.รณ
