A/N: It feels like forever since I have done this. Definitely too long. Probably a little rusty but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
Well anyways one night something someone said to me inspired this one shot and so here is it. I suppose loves a state of mind and I hope perhaps at least one person can read this and relate to some of the feelings I have put into it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters within the books.
He lay there as she slept and watched her with a look upon his face that only those in love would understand. The boy wished that they could stay like that forever; she in his arms, and he holding her close, watching her smile in her sleep and listening to her breathe just because it was so beautiful. There were none before her that could make him feel like this and there would be none after, he was sure of it. He looked down at her, taking her in, capturing the moment and locking it away somewhere deep inside his heart. He wanted to remember the curves of her face and the way each curl lay perfectly around her like a halo framing her features in an undisturbed perfection. He wished that he could touch her dreams and make all her wishes a tangible reality.
They were young, but who says the young can't fall in love, for that is what had happened. Somewhere amid all the teasing and bickering he had fallen so deep that sometimes he wondered if he would drown in the moment. It was perhaps in that moment as they lay there together; she asleep in his arms that the boy realized for the first time in all his twenty years that he had given his heart away. His whole heart. And strangely, he didn't want it back.
Every time she looked into his eyes, he was sure it was his soul she saw. She could touch every inch of him with just a glance; and every time their lips met he would fall in love all over again. He wished that he could spend the rest of his life feeling like that. He wished that he could always have her skin pressed against his as it was now. More than anything he wished he didn't have to let her go.
And yet it was here that fate chose once again to intervene and change the course of what should be to something much harsher and a road more meandering than any the boy had been down before. What scared him most was that he could get to the end of that road only to find that she was no longer there waiting for him. The thought that he would not be there for her scared him in a way nothing else could, and that the smile which lights the world… his world… would one day shine for another man. He couldn't bear that the touch of her skin might one day be only a vague memory of the past.
Many go through life searching for the one they are supposed to love forever and with all their hearts; and once they find them, short of the world ending, nothing could tear them apart. And there he lay, beside the girl he was so sure he was meant to spend his life with, knowing this could be the last night they were given; and yet not fighting this seeming inevitability. Perhaps is was that deep down he knew that whilst there was breath in him it was for her his heart would beat and that destiny would bring them together again… it had to, simply because the alternative scared him too damn much. But more than anything he didn't want to spend their last night together fighting a course of time he could not change.
He did not want to wake her, she looked so peaceful, but more than anything he couldn't bear to say goodbye, so perhaps it was better to say nothing at all. He didn't want those chocolate eyes to be filled with liquid, not because of him. Not ever. And so the boy did the only thing he felt was left to do. He glanced one last time at the girl he had grown so fond of and vowed to himself that he would be here once again to kiss her lips and touch her soul. After all they say a great love lasts till the end of time, and time had not yet ended.
Gently as he could he unwrapped her arms from his waist and laid her down to sleep. "This isn't goodbye" he whispered to the girl before him, though more than anything it was to reassure himself. For a moment he didn't think his feet would be able to move away; and yet against all odds they managed it. It was as though every step he took away from her was one step closer to a portal of the place he least wanted to be.
She stirred.
"Draco?" her voice was soft, filled with sleep and dreams of the night not yet faded, "where are you going?" He looked up at her, helplessly lost; like a little boy in a world full of monsters. He said nothing. He didn't need to. The girl was no fool. "Stay with me a little longer" the girl urged, trying to keep her voice calm.
"Hermione, we spoke about this," he smiled fondly at her, yet remained unmoving from his spot, not daring to touch her, in fear he would never let go, "please, don't do this".
"Don't do what?" she asked stubbornly, sitting up trying to get him to look into her eyes. He resisted. "Shall I just pretend like you that everything's okay?" Her eyes felt like they carried the weight of the ocean within them, and yet she was determined to not let a single tear spill, "you were going to leave without saying goodbye. How could you Draco?"
"I was doing it for you!" he whispered, "I didn't want to see you hurt".
She almost laughed at that, "then don't leave".
"Don't you think if I could, I would stay here and never leave," he walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders to make sure she had no choice but to look into his eyes and there see only the truth. "I want all of you Hermione. Everyday. Just you and me. I want to be the one who gets to taste your lips," he smiled just a little as he continued, "to be the one to taste your awful cooking," the girl couldn't help but laugh at this, albeit sadly, "to be the one who kicks your stupid cat when you're not looking".
"So stay and be that guy," she whispered.
"You know that I can't," he replied in such a way one would have thought these words had pierced a hole right through his heart. "I have responsibilities. There is a war to fight".
"Not your war" she shook her head determinedly, "not our war Draco, we have fought our war. We lost all those who we loved. And they all died so we wouldn't have to. Don't be a fool Draco".
"Tomorrow, the last of the last men of the dark side will fall, and though I know the right side has won, believe me Hermione I know that… I have to go stand by the side of my father and my mother. It is what I have been brought up to do".
"But they will kill you too! And then what will I do without you?" The girl choked, trying to keep calm and yet beyond doubt, failing to do so. She felt like a lost child, trying desperately not to fall into the darkness and yet not sure how to stop herself, "you fought for the light… and yet you perish with the dark? Tell me Draco do you see the sense in that?"
"It's my duty. I cannot just let my mother die. I will stand there beside her, and fight against those whom I not long ago formed an alliance with, and don't tell me Hermione that you wouldn't do the same". He looked at her, pleading her with his eyes not to make it hurt any more.
For a second she said nothing, held within her unshed tears, unshed pain, and insead leaned in; putting her arms around him, and for the last time smelling his scent, knowing there was nothing she could do to make him stay. "I think I'd miss you if we never met," she whispered.
The boy took a step back, taking her hand and kissing it softly, making her smile despite the pain, "till we meet again...my love".
