I am so behind with everyone's fics. I apologize for that. Trust me, I am excited to read them.
Paige was glad that Ralph was old enough to wake up, get himself breakfast, and catch the carpool on his own. While he loved staying with Cabe or Sylvester when she spent nights at the garage, Paige didn't want to make him do that all the time. She knew he wanted quality time with just her, and she wanted the same. As much as she loved spending the night with Walter beside her, they both agreed that it wasn't quite time yet for him to stay over with her and Ralph.
So on some mornings, she just came in to work early, and they could have some time alone before everyone got there. Usually in the mornings they just talked. Held hands.
Paige liked that.
She dropped her purse and jacket on her desk and headed for the stairs, bounding up them. Sometimes Walter was waiting for her downstairs, greeting her with a kiss and a mug of coffee. Sometimes she caught him coming out of the shower or still in bed.
"Morning, Walter," she said upon reaching the top. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her. Upon hearing her voice, he turned. "Hey."
"Hey, you okay?" She asked, instantly concerned.
Walter opened his mouth as if to answer, but no sound came out, and he dropped his head and turned back away.
She walked around the bed and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his knees and looking up at him. She could see a struggle on his face. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing." He gave her a small smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "It's stupid."
Paige raised her eyebrows. "You just contradicted yourself right there," she reminded him gently. She lifted her hands to his face. "Walter, talk to me."
He closed his eyes, as if trying to block out everything but her touch, but it was only a moment or so later that the previous expression returned to his face and he got up, walking into the living area of the loft. He didn't seem to have a destination in mind.
Paige got up and walked until she was a few paces behind him, then stopped, waiting. It felt like hours before he turned to face her. "It's just today. It's stupid."
Well, that really didn't get them anywhere, Paige thought, but at least he was initiating conversation. She thought about what date it was. And it only took her a moment.
"Walter." She walked over to the couch and sat down. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize."
He scratched the back of his neck. "I didn't either." He cleared his throat, still standing in the middle of the room. "But I went to my laptop and the date was…" he lifted a hand and made a gesture. Paige knew what he meant. His screensaver was the date in big, bold letters.
"Come sit by me," she said, touching the space next to her. She wanted to go up to him, but his posture alarmed her. She wasn't sure if she could push it.
To her relief, Walter turned and closed the distance to the couch, lowering himself next to her. He clasped his hands and stared down at them.
"I'm used to the new routine, obviously. I don't start driving to the hospital on those days anymore only to have to remember all over again that she's gone. But…" he breathing grew heavier, and Paige grabbed one of the pillows propped against the arm of the couch, placing it on her lap and gently pulling him down. "But I still miss her so much." He drew in another shaky breath, and she could feel his fingertips pressing into her knee. "And…" he trailed off.
"It's okay," she said, gently rubbing his arm and then trailing her fingers through his hair. This was the second anniversary. She wondered if he had suffered this much last year, too. She assumed he must have…and she hadn't picked up on it at all?
God, she hated the person she had been when Tim Armstrong was around.
"I'm never going to talk to her again." Walter's voice almost didn't sound like him. "She used to be the only one I could talk to."
She wanted to tell him that he could still talk to Megan whenever he wanted. But she knew he didn't believe in that stuff, and the words wouldn't provide any comfort. So she stayed quiet, continuing to touch him comfortingly, letting him gather what he needed from her.
Eventually, he craned his neck around so he could look at her. "Is it normal?"
"For anniversaries of bad days to cause this much pain?" She nodded. "It's perfectly normal. Absolutely." She touched his cheek affectionately. I wish I could make it go away.
"Well," Walter mumbled, "that's comforting, I suppose."
She felt the pressure on her lap increase as he pushed his head against the pillow, and she felt light tremors throughout his body. "It's okay," she soothed, rubbing his arm again. "It's okay."
She wasn't telling him that nothing was wrong, but that it was okay that he was feeling like this. She knew he would understand. For all the little lapses in communication that they had had, he always seemed to know exactly what she was intending when she was comforting him. She supposed that was a very good thing to always get right.
She slid her hand to the other side of him, and he curled his fingers around hers. "I've got you," she whispered.
"I know." Walter tightened his grip on her hand. "Th – thank you," he whispered.
"Always, Love," she whispered. "Forever, and always."
So…I'd been planning to write this for a while. And I almost had it done the other day. But then life…life sucks, sometimes. And the content of this fic is an example of that. Someone really close to me is going through something really hard, and that's been consuming me, especially the last few days, and making it harder to do anything, much less write. But it's most appropriate to release this fic this week, so I did my best to finish it even though it's a bit too close to home for my liking right now. Anyway, I always ask that readers review if you enjoyed, but in addition to that, please hug your friends and hug your family.
