Everyone thought that I was a joker, a comic relief. Someone stupid, immature, and annoying. Well I'm not. I mean, yeah I tell stupid jokes, I don't know what people are talking about all the time, and I get smacked around when ever I do something wrong. But what you don't know is that it's all an act. The jokes, I don't even like them. I just do that stuff for the others. I know that they've had bad pasts, things they want to forget. Hey, I do too. I know how they feel. They feel hurt, sad, and they grieve in there rooms when they don't think people notice them. Well, I do notice. I can hear them when I walk past their rooms, crying and muttering things about how the others don't understand.I see their faces when people say things that remind them of the past, happy then suddenly their faces are flooded with grief. And it hurts me to think about what they've been through. What made Robin so serious, what makes Starfire have sudden looks of sadness, why would the monks teach Raven to feel nothing, what turned Cyborg into, well, a cyborg? And even though I can't know what happened to them, I can tell that they don't think about my pain. I hide it to well for them to see it.

To them, my jokes are just annoying things I say to get them to laugh, and thats true, except it's also what I do to cover what I really feel. My hatred, grief, and pain are all hiden by simple jokes. Everyday I put a smile on my face like a mask, to hide the real face underneath. I cover my emotions with happiness so Raven can't sense my anger. At night I dream about the past, letting all my feelings and thoughts of the day out. Crying to myself about the cruelty that life has shown me. I stay up to 1:00 every night letting myself cry away the pain. The others say I stay up late because I play videogames all night. Ha, yeah right. They get mad at me when I wake up late because I won't tell them that I cry at night so that they don't have to see me. I crack stupid jokes so they don't have to see me in pain. I try to make their lives happy, since mine will never get be. Cause that's what I do. I make their lives better, because my life might be terrible, but that doesn't mean that I should destroy other peoples.