A/N: As you read this, you may think I'm insane. Well, I am, just a little. So, keep that in mind and enjoy this wonderful crack that came to me while riding the bus to school!
The television was on in the living room of the two main Yu-Gi-Oh antagonists' apartment. It happened that the blond one, Marik, was watching Batman while the albino, Bakura, was sitting on the couch next to the before said Egyptian, not caring, as usual. It would only seem normal that Marik would soon come up with some randomly generated idea that was somehow inspired from the show on TV. So, when Marik shook Bakura by the shoulder, it was only to be expected by the thief. He rolled his eyes, "What, Marik?"
"You are my sidekick, right?" Marik asked with a look of pure innocence, raising a thin blond eyebrow with his question.
Bakura first pondered before he answered, how do his eyes get that big? I know we are anime characters, but this is ridiculous! His eyes are huge! The Brit then decided to answer the question as he had kept his childish partner in crime waiting long enough, "No, if anything, you would be the sidekick because I am the main antagonist."
Marik's face immediately dropped. "B-But I killed people!"
"I only counted one Steve, which was mostly his fault for listening to an idiot such as you." Bakura stated while lifting an index finger to emphasize the amount killed.
Marik pouted, "Well, I have my own gang of Rare Hunters!" he retorted.
"King of Thieves, I had all the lower thieves under my control and they, unlike your little buddies you call a gang, feared me." Bakura had his eyes closed at this point, since he seemed to be easily overpowering Marik with his explanations.
"Well at least I wasn't such a crybaby during season two!" Marik huffed while narrowing his eyes into what looked to be a scowl and crossing his arms.
"Marik, I never cried once. You had plans that always involved me getting hurt. It actually makes me question our partnership."
The boy remained in his mood of anger without saying a word. Bakura knew he would regret it, but the silence was so unnatural, he had to peek, he opened one eye and the sandy blond instantly turned back to him. "I have an idea!"
"Well that is never good."
Marik pretended not to hear his roommate, "I propose we have a contest to see who is the evilest!" he stated in the proudest voice he could muster while projecting his chest.
Bakura tried not to laugh at the idiocy that was Marik. "Really?"
"Yes! I will decide what happens by what I'm good at!"
Bakura brought a hand to his chin, "So the contest will have us do nothing?"
"NO! I am good at many things!"
"Oh, excuse me," Bakura stated, "we are going to see who dresses the most effeminate?" he finished with a smirk.
"Ye- NO! We are going white water rafting and then we will ride motorcycles through parking lots backwards while doing wheelies and flipping and then we will light a school on fire because it is evil!"
Bakura's right eye twitched before he began, "Well, I propose we allow Ryou to be judge and decide on what we do."
Marik's eyebrow rose again, "Why?"
"Because Ryou knows what I'm good at." Bakura stated while getting off the couch.
"Hey! Bakura! That isn't fair!"
Soon enough, Bakura and Marik had arrived at Ryou's apartment. They stood outside, ringing the bell that had a sticker next to it with Ryou's name written in small print. It was only then that the door to the apartment complex opened and another albino came into the picture, "Oh, no. I thought you were the pizza man." He muttered, clutching a blanket over his shoulders.
"Oh boy! You ordered pizza? Maybe we should stay!" An enthusiastic Marik practically screamed to Bakura.
Ryou's eyes only widened at the thought, Bakura ate like a deranged animal and Marik was a vegetarian. He would have to make a second order and he did not have much more money for the month until his father sent more. Bakura then calmed his hikari's fears, "We will order pizza at home." That is until Bakura asked, or commanded in his case, for what he had come for in the first place, "However, Marik and I would like you to be a judge for a contest to see who is eviler."
Marik then jumped in, "The loser is the winner's sidekick!"
Bakura looked somewhere between annoyed and thoroughly pissed off. Ryou decided he mind as well, seeing that Bakura did not look to be one to take no for an answer at the moment. Considering who he was with constantly, it made sense, so it was agreed that the next day, Ryou would come up with challenges for the arguing twosome, to see who was evilest.
Bakura knew he was going to win, so he ate his pizza and really did not care about the entire ordeal. Where Marik, on the other hand, scarfed down his pizza and went straight to bed so he could be ready for the contest.
Ryou seemed to have the most trouble of all that night. He was not an evil person. How could he possibly think of any trial to test a person for the trait? He paced his bedroom and watching him from his closet, was a shadow that he did not know even existed… yet.
A/N: So, this is where I leave you for now. Anyone know who the shadow is? Probably not, it is really random.
Also, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Batman, pizza companies, or apartment complexes. However, I do own the idea for this madness I've created.
