"C'mon, Hobbes!" Calvin whined. "I've transmogrified myself at least a gazillion times. Surely you want to see what it's like to be transmogrified!"

Hobbes shook his head firmly. "For the last time, I'm not getting under that box, and you can't make me."

"You've been transmogrified before!"

"And you think I enjoyed being a duck, a chimp, an alligator, and whatever else we did that day? You were lucky the transmogrification wore off!"

"Please?" Calvin pulled the cutest expression he could think of, sniffling a little for effect.

Hobbes buried his face in his paw. "The Bambi Eyes didn't get you a flamethrower, and they won't get me into the Transmogifier."

Calvin groaned, but then another idea - one of his best, in fact - popped into his head. "Hey, Hobbes... how long has it been since you've had deer?"

"Deer?" Hobbes had to consider this. "Certainly not since I met you... but boy, do I remember the first time I had it..."

"Yeah, okay," Calvin continued, not wanting to be grossed out too much. "I happen to know that my parents are hosting a dinner party tonight, and venison steaks are on the menu. I'll swipe you one from the fridge tomorrow... provided you transmogrify yourself today."

Hobbes groaned, "Ugh, fine. The things I'll do for decent food..." as he clambered under the Transmogrifier. "So what is it going to be? A parrot? A guinea pig?"

"How about a human?" suggested Calvin.

"NO WAY!" Hobbes shouted, his voice muffled through the cardboard.

"Look, I know we humans have screwed things up for Planet Earth, but I've transmogrified myself into a tiger. Fair's fair."

"Okay, okay, you win. Just get it done."

Calvin set the Transmogrifier's dial to "human" and pressed the button. A loud zap emitted from the box, which rose an inch or so above the ground.

"Um, Calvin..." Hobbes's voice was now worried. "It worked..."

"Awesome!" shouted Calvin, ready to throw off the box and see Hobbes as a human.

"But, uh... could you get me some of your dad's clothes? Because... I'm not wearing anything."

"What's the big deal? You've seen me naked before."

"This is different! I feel so exposed!"

"Ugh, fine!" Calvin muttered as he headed for the back door, "The things I'll do for my friend..."


Calvin knew his father wasn't going to be home for another few hours, so he could easily snatch some clothes from the closet his parents shared. Dad's biking clothes, usually a little tight on him, would be perfect for Hobbes. Calvin selected a pair of black bike shorts and a green stretch top for his now-human pal. Plus a pair of briefs for good measure. It was only when Calvin got downstairs when he ran into trouble.

"What are you doing with your father's clothes?" inquired Calvin's mom, feather duster in hand.

"They're for Hobbes," Calvin explained.

"I don't think Hobbes needs clothes."

"Neither do I, but he misses his fur. He's human now."

"Right. Maybe Hobbes could wear some of your clothes?"

"My clothes are tiny! They wouldn't fit!"

"Right. Wait. Are those your dad's biking clothes?"

"Everything else was too big," Calvin shrugged.

Calvin's mother sighed, "Well, he certainly won't miss those. All right, go find Hobbes."

That was almost too easy, thought Calvin.


Calvin shoved the clothes under the Transmogrifier. There were some scuffling noises, a grunt or two, and a "What the heck..."

"How long does it take to put on clothes?" asked Calvin.

Hobbes retorted, "You're one to talk. Be patient. I'll be out soon."

Calvin sat himself down against the Transmogrifier, bracing himself for a long wait.