A/N: Ello! I had fun writing this one, and you'll (hopefully) see why as you read it! Every bit of Clary/Isabelle conversation was taken from a talk-a-thon that my sister and her friend were having, so… yeah, they're pretty wacky!

Disclaimer: Idon'! Happy now?

The two girls were sprawled spasmodically on the ground across from one another, giggling and (expertly) convincing innocent bystanders of their drunkenness.

Innocent bystanders, also known as me.

I was just wandering by, when I was suddenly made deaf by unnaturally high noises.

Unnaturally high noises, also known as Isabelle and Clary.

"… that fell from the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down! I mean come on Clare!"

But, seeing as this was standard, I kept on walking.

Are you kidding me? Who do you think I am?

I went back.

"… and sweating, and panting, and it was awful! They didn't even give us enough time to change, Iz!"

What the hell? How- what- whe- gah!

"… and I've never felt a cat this soft before! Where did you pick him up?"

"… could you please not chew on my designer purse, please?"

"… cause I'm a blonde, yeah- yeah, yeah!"

"… you better stay home today, and find him before the cat does!"

What were they on?

Okay, now, I declare, it… is…

TIME TO INVESTIGATE- CHAIRMAN MEOW STYLE, biatch!

So I carelessly flung the door open wide, marching in dramatically and demanding answers! (I quietly snuck into the room, through the door they'd carelessly left ajar, and hid under some furniture)

They cowered in terror of my awesome power, and begged for their lives! (They spotted me easily, and dragged me to them, cooing and cuddling! Uck!)

I demanded answers (I pleaded with them to let me go), and they begged for their lives! (but they mistook my pained cries for 'cute kitty noises')

Finally, (finally,) they answered me (they let me go), as they could not stand (as they couldn't withstand) the immense weight of my gaze! (the wondrous sting of my bite)

I scampered from the room and-

Crap.

You know, now, don't you?

Don't you!

You know of my cowardess- oh I'm so ashamed! I'll never be accepted by my fellow evil master- minds again!

The least I can do is take them down with me!

I flew back in and growled ferociously, watching as the little red one looked about ready to wet herself.

Huzzah! The plan was WoRkInG!

And then I saw it! The monster! The BEAST!

That fat cat that used to work for me!

Needless to say, I totally killed him. Sort of. It unfolded like this.

-kcabhsalf-

Seeing me, the cretin gulped and cowered.

"Forgive me, master!"

"YOU'VE BEEN SOCIALIZING WITH THE ENEMY!"

"No! You don't understand!"

"I have NO CHOICE but to TERMINATE YOU!"

And with that I leaped gracefully through the air, flying with deadly accuracy towards my opponent.

I tripped over a dangerous looking shoe...

... and then stumbled right into his fat-tabby-face!

"Take THAT!" -a quick jab to his nose- "and THAT!" -a smash of my ninja paws to both sides of his feline face.

And thus my foe was vanquished! I was free from his ineptitude and sad failure!

I was given a time out.

Stupid teenage females.