Hurt
Zack Martin and Maddie Fitzpatrick-martin were sitting in their small apartment in Boston that they have had for about 3 years. Maddie sighed and struggled to get up from the couch which she was sitting on, mending zack's suit for his new job interview he was going to this afternoon. Hopefully he would keep this one so they would have enough money so they could buy a crib. Zack came through the door, ran over to maddie, and helped her up off the couch and into the kitchen.
"Oh thanks honey."
"Your welcome. How many months do you have left?"
"Hmm about 2."
"Well that's good I can't believe we're going to be parents."
"Yeah I know what you mean."
The phone rings and zack quickly jumped up and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Zack honey its mom. How's maddie doing?"
"Fine. Is that the only reason you called?"
"No what's gotten you in a bad mood?"
"Nothing."
"Zack don't lie to me."
"I got fired from my job a few weeks ago and I have another interview today."
"What did you do this time?"
"Mom I'm 30 years old. I don't need to explain myself to you."
"Zackary martin don't you dare speak to me like way!"
"I don't care I'm a man now you can't tell me how to run my life! I blame you for everything that went wrong in my life! I hate you!"
"All right then fine! You can call me when you've calmed down!"
He slammed the phone down and sat on the couch not facing maddie. Maddie sighed and went back to her cooking. On the other side of Boston Carey Martin threw her phone down on the seat next to her and stared at the interstate she was on fuming.
How could he say those things to me? He'll call me when he calms down he always does.
She hadn't noticed the other car that had swerved into her lane by mistake until she slammed on breaks and turned going off the road and into a little forest, crashing into a tree. The other person in the car stopped and ran down to see if she was ok.
"ma'am? Oh."
"911 what's your emergency?"
"I'm on interstate 15 and I've had a wreck. There's another woman in the other car. She's not breathing and I can't find a pulse."
"The ambulance will be right there."
About 5 minutes later the paramedics arrived on the scene but as much as they tried they couldn't revive Carey. They transported her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead on the scene. They retrieved her cell and called the last number dialed.
"Hello?"
"Is this zack martin?"
"No this is his wife. Who's calling?"
"This is Doctor Warner here at Boston memorial. I have some rather distressing news about his mother. Are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"She was in a car wreck but she didn't survive. I'm so sorry ma'am."
"Thank you."
Maddie hung up the phone and sat back on the couch horrified. She put her hands to her face and cried. A few minutes later zack came through the door to find his wife crying her eyes out.
"Maddie what is it?"
"Zack your mother was in a car accident. She… didn't survive. (Sobs)"
"Oh my god! It's all my fault."
He sobbed and put his head in the crook of maddie's neck and sobbed loudly.
"It's all my fault! If I hadn't got into an argument with her she'd still be alive!"
"Zack it wasn't your fault. Stop saying that."
"Yes it is my fault. I wonder if Cody knows yet?"
He picked up the phone and quickly dialed Cody's number.
"Cody?"
"Zack what is it? And is that maddie crying in the background? What's going on?"
"Cody… mom was in a car wreck she's dead."
"No! (Starts to cry.) How did it happen?"
"I don't know we have to go down to Boston memorial is it? To go I'd. The body."
"Ok I'll be at your house in about 15 minutes."
They both hung up, and zack grabbed his keys and went for a drive. He hadn't noticed it but the radio was on from when he came back from his interview. The song "hurt" by Christina Aguilera was playing.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.
You told me how proud you were but I walked away.
If only I knew what I knew today.
I would hold you in my arms; I would take the pain away.
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes; there's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again.
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there.
I'm sorry for blaming you; for everything I couldn't do and I've hurt myself by hurting you.
He cried harder as if the song was centered around him. He cried harder as he tried to focus his thoughts about what he should do now.
Some days I feel broke inside, but I won't admit.
Sometimes I just want to hide cause it's you I miss.
And it's so hard to say goodbye, when it comes to this.
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance.
To look into your eyes and see you looking back.
I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself…
He stopped the car at a nearby park near the Tipton where he and Cody used to play when they were young. He went over to the swings with his car radio blasting the song still; he sat down in one of the swings and went over and over in his mind how he could have said those things to his mother.
(A/N: the bold is zack thinking and the other is the song playing)
How could I have told her I hated her?! I am so bogus. I could never say that to her. She's been nothing but a very good mother to me and Cody and now I can't even say how much I'm sorry and I never ment to say those things to her.
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much I've missed you since you went away.
It's dangerous it's so out of line to try to turn back time.
I'm sorry for blaming you. For everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you.
The song finished and he cried harder than he ever had before. When he looked up he saw his mother standing in front of him.
"Mom! What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to tell you it wasn't your fault."
"I don't blame you or hate you or any of those things I said. I'm sorry."
"Its ok I understand. I forgive you. You were mad."
"Please don't go. I want you back."
"I can't stay I not supposed to be here anymore."
"But you won't get to see the baby grow up or watch Cody get married or none of that stuff."
"Of course I will. I'll always be with you. I want you to give the eulogy at my funeral."
"I will. Don't stay away too long."
"I won't. I promise. By the way I'm proud of you and Cody. No matter what anybody else says. Don't forget to tell your dad."
"I love you mom."
He stood up and hugged her knowing it would be the last embrace he would ever feel. He closed his eyes and laid his head on her chest. He was still in the embrace when Cody came up to him.
"Zack? What are you doing?"
"I was just…"
He looked up and saw that his mother had vanished as quickly as she came.
"Oh no come back!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Mom was here. She said she's proud of us and she wanted me to give the eulogy at her funeral."
"Ok buddy you're losing it."
"No I swear she was here!"
"Ok ok I believe you. Come on we have to go to the hospital."
"What about my car?"
"Just lock it and we'll be back for it when we finish."
Zack got into the car and looked back and saw his mother waving at him and vanishing at the blink of an eye. They went into the hospital and went down to the morgue where they found Doctor Warner waiting on them.
"Are you two her sons?"
"Yes."
"Right this way."
She led them into a secluded room where she lifted the sheet that was covering their mother past down her face.
"That's our mom."
"Ok thank you just sign this form and I'll release her for the funeral."
But zack and Cody were horrified by their mother's appearance to hear her say anything. Her lips were blue, her eyes were closed, and she was pale from head to toe.
"Boys?"
"Sorry what?"
"Sign the form so I can release her."
Cody reached over and signed the form, and then almost dragging zack away from her, out him in the car and drove back to zack's house.
"So what are you thinking of for mom's eulogy?"
But zack wasn't listening the only thing e could think of was that Christina Aguilera song. He decided that when he got home he would look up the lyrics and make that his eulogy.
"Zack?!"
"Huh?"
"I said what are you planning on for mom's eulogy?"
"I have the perfect thing. But no one's going to know about it until I give it."
"Ok."
They went back to the park where zack got into his car and he drove home with Cody right behind him. He stopped in front of his house, brushed by maddie, and went into his room to start his mom's eulogy. Cody came in behind him, kissed maddie on the cheek, and sat down on the couch.
"What's wrong with zack?"
"When I found him at the park he looked like he was hugging somebody. So I asked him what he was doing and he said he was talking to mom. He says that she wanted him to give the eulogy at her funeral."
"Really? Do you believe him?"
:I don't know I mean this kind of shock usually makes people see the person that had just died a few hours after the death but It's just their imagination playing with their heads."
"When do you think he'll be finished with the eulogy?"
"I don't know the funeral is in two days. I hope he's finished by then."
2 days later maddie, zack, Mr. Moseby, London, arwin, estaban, max, tapeworm, Kurt, and Mr. Tipton were at the gravesite for Carey's funeral. Zack and maddie were sitting beside each other, London was crying on her dad's shoulder, Kurt was standing behind his boys, and everyone else was behind them with tears running down their faces. One by one they each got up and said how Carey touched their lives in their each special way. The last one to go was zack when he stood up he took the red rose he was holding and placed it on the casket before he stood at the podium to give the eulogy. He took the note cards out of his pocket and started to speak.
"We are all here today to say goodbye to a wonderful mother, wife, and friend. When we were younger she did her best to be a good mother to us, a big sister to maddie and London, and a wonderful employee and daughter to Mr. Moseby. My eulogy is only a few words. When I heard this song it summed up all the things I felt for mom so I hope these words will give you and me peace. Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face. You told me how proud you were but I walked away. If only I knew what I knew today. I would hold you in my arms; I would take the pain away. Thank you for all you've done. Forgive all your mistakes; there's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there. I'm sorry for blaming you; for everything I couldn't do and I've hurt myself by hurting you. Some days I feel broke inside, but I won't admit. Sometimes I just want to hide cause it's you I miss. And it's so hard to say goodbye, when it comes to this. Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance. To look into your eyes and see you looking back. If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much I've missed you since you went away. It's dangerous it's so out of line to try to turn back time. I'm sorry for blaming you. For everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you."
He put his note cards back into his pocket and sat back down beside maddie knowing that he would hopefully would find peace.
"May she rest in peace. And let god fill the sadness in your hearts."
They all stood up and started to leave when Cody went back over to the grave to place his rose on her casket before turning around and leaving. When zack was getting into the car he looked up and saw his mother again. She was giving him a thumbs up for doing well on her eulogy. On the way home he knew this would not be the end. He was going to get through this and not have to feel sadness anymore.
