As I mentioned in my previous story "Beyond Warden duties" I was planning to look into writing again after playing Dragon Age II. Admittedly, I thought the game and the story it provided was a little disappointing. It didn't capture me as Dragon Age: Origins did, and with it's open ending I felt there were tons of loose ends to tie for Bioware. I couldn't help but think about puzzling those together myself, resulting into this story, based on the characteristics of my previous works.
I'm planning to provide a storyline for the Warden (!F Cousland in this case) to disappear as was mentioned at the end of Dragon Age II, and why she would be separated from her love Alistair, leaving him behind with the Wardens.
Please don't hesitate to comment or drop me a line; your comments have really kept me going earlier, and I'd love to hear what you're thinking!
Disclaimer: This story is based on Bioware's Dragon Age: Origins, Awakening and Dragon Age II and it's original characters. This story will not be used to make profit in any way.
.1 Silence before the storm
The wind rumbled around the stone of the citadel, whistling it's eerie song as the rain lashed against the paned windows. It was a night not unfamiliar to Ferelden's people; cold, wet and moonless, keeping it's citizens safe within their houses.
In Highever's castle, the center of one of the last remaining teyrnships, it was no different.
Although the peace had returned to the citadel years ago, the stormy night seemed to have cast a ghostly reminder of the horrors that had taken place, only detectable to those present to remember it. The kitchen's larder was well stocked for these particular nights: While the wind pulled at their cloaks, several people found their way to the kitchen fire, seeking comfort in consensus and a warm cup of brandy. A silent toast was customary; one to remember those who had fallen during the attempt to wipe out house Cousland, well over six years ago.
Not only Bryce and Eleanor, nor only the new teyrns' wife and son were preserved in memory: Everyone who had managed to stay alive during the night Rendon Howe made a hostile takeover had suffered losses, and all were equally mourned. No one who deemed it necessary to seek comfort in Highever citadel's kitchen, escaped the weight of Howe's treachery on their shoulders.
Burdened with more than this particular sense of betrayal, Elissa too had slipped out of bed. Unlike the others who remained sleepless, she had deliberately avoided the comfort a visit to the kitchen would provide. As she sat in the open windowsill, she eyed the warm glow of the fire that met the wet cobblestones as the door opened again and again to give passage for those seeking to share and drown their grief. Sad though the occasion might be, she had become accustomed to the tradition since she had returned to her elderly home a few months before, and the trusted remedy had never lost it's outcome. The reason she wasn't willing to take part in it, was strictly her own.
Elissa was only shaken from her thoughts when she heard heavy footsteps approaching on the circular stairs. She couldn't help but escape a sigh as she slipped from the window, melting in the shadows behind one of the ruined tower's supporting beams.
"Don't bother sister, I know you're up there."
Fergus' voice trailed up in a feint echo as the light of his lantern illuminated the forlorn structure. It must have looked silly, but only when Elissa truly felt she couldn't escape her brother's wary glance, she revealed herself. This, together with her choice of sanctuary, must have told him more than her mere silence.
She reluctantly accepted the cup he offered her, warming her body and soul with every sip of brandy she decided to take to prolong her lack of words. But to her annoyance, Fergus didn't leave. She sighed again, this time shamefully. She should have remembered her brother to be more perceptive.
"Thank you," She finally spoke.
Fergus smiled at her a little bit too radiantly. Before he continued to nurture the cup in his hands, he put the lantern down on the ground. It hissed as the rain lashed at the flame through the broken window. It underlined Elissa's embarrassment to have been discovered; for whatever reason, the tower had been found partly collapsed after Fergus reclaimed the lands with Queen Anora's support, and it was rarely visited anymore. The structure had been secured but not rebuilt; it was now inhabited by the homing pigeons that preferred nesting there instead of in their designated pen. The trousers Elissa had put on under her nightshirt were stained in their debris.
As she looked down to assess the damage Fergus stifled his chuckle by speaking his mind.
"You don't like being back."
It wasn't a question, it was an evaluation. Elissa, who had never been successful at deceiving her brother, nodded.
"I thought this was what you sought?"
This time, Fergus looked questioning, maybe even a little fragile. The day Elissa had sent word she and Alistair were planning to cease their wandering and settle somewhere for a while, had made him ecstatic, if she had to believe the story of his new love interest. She had met the woman only once, a disappointment compared to Fergus' late wafe, the Antivan spitfire Oriana. Elissa was happy that he was looking for love and to extend the Cousland family, but her airheaded sultriness had given her the impression her brother's new flame was lacking reliability in seeking her approval. As if her brother could read her thoughts, he added:
"Is it Annabelle? I know she is different, different from what we're used to. But I was really hoping you would give her a chance." He sighed before he continued. "I love her."
Since they were at a courting stage, as far as this applied for someone of her brother's age and status, Elissa was surprised to hear breaking news on their relationship. She eyed him with interest before she vigorously shook her head.
"No, no, it isn't that. Even if you'd wed the wicked witch of the wilds you would receive my blessing. You won't be able to count on me to continue the Cousland line, after all. You're our only hope."
Even though she smiled it was a little off, and Fergus knew better than to ignore the underlying pain he sensed in her words, forgivingly ignoring the hurtful statement on his lover's behalf. He awkwardly put both his hands on her shoulders, patting them gently.
"Oh sister. We've both been burdened with terrible choices and losses during the blight, and there after. I'm sorry to see that you suffered more than most."
Even though Elissa couldn't help but realize he didn't know half of it, she nodded in appreciation, avoiding his eyes as if they'd be able to spill him her secrets. So much had happened since she was forced to flee her life at Highever, not only slaying the arch demon but becoming Warden Commander of Ferelden soon after, only to fall from grace within her order and amongst the people in Amaranthine. In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice. Once she had wondered if the latter wouldn't free her from the burden she had tried to escape. But after all, the taint would provide her at least twenty years before she would receive the Calling to the Deep Roads. It was folly to think of an early release, while there was so much left to enjoy, despite her duties and the weight of the choices she had made previously.
Her silence had triggered more than pity in her brother. His eyes filled with worry as she wordlessly put together her thoughts. She didn't even notice how his mouth had opened to speak, only to hesitantly close seconds later.
"Elissa, I,"
Upon the sound of his voice she regained her attention immediately, looking up at her brother in surprise as she noticed how he struggled for words.
"I know you're looking for a place to start a family. But do know that this could take a while. I mean, don't give up hope just yet. "
Elissa couldn't help but snigger in surprise. Fergus continued fervently, but she decided to put a stop to his rain of words.
"Alistair loves you very much, and although I know that having children is a woman's most treasured wish,"
"Brother, stop. When I said you were our only hope to proceed the Cousland line, I wasn't exaggerating. Grey Wardens aren't physically able to conceive children."
Upon hearing the words spill from her lips Elissa couldn't help but look down guiltily. This had proven partly true and partly a lie, but she wasn't willing to elaborate; this was the case for her, after all. Fergus on his turn misunderstood her faltering expression for grief, and patted her more expressively, lost for words. She shrugged both his hands of her shoulders, and smiled in embarrassment.
"Believe me, being unable to bare child is the least of my concerns."
"Then what is?"
Fergus seemed relieved that is suspicions were disheartened. His gaze was determined, one Elissa recognized from their childhood. As the older sibling and the direct heir of their father's title, he had carried both the burdens and the privileges of the art of decision-making. He probably felt that whatever bothered his sister, he would be able to provide a solution, as long as it wasn't out of reach like a feminine conundrum of not being able to produce a child.
Touched though she felt by her brother's care, Elissa hesitated to speak. She once again decided to go with a partly truth.
"You remember when Alistair travelled through Highever in meeting me after our separation? After I left Amaranthine?"
Fergus nodded. Elissa sighed before she continued, carefully formulating her words before she spoke them out loud.
"We were supposed to meet in Cumberland on his return from his serving in Weisshaupt."
"Yet instead of taking a boat to Kirkwall, you travelled south. I remember."
"You do?" Elissa spoke, merely to win time. Fergus nodded.
"Alistair wasn't too thrilled about hearing about your departure."
This was a definite understatement. If Elissa had to believe the citadel's inhabitants, he had made quite a scene after hearing Elissa had travelled by horse down the imperial highway instead of taking the ship that was made ready for her to meet him up north. Although she hadn't left a destination for Alistair to find her, he had insisted on leaving immediately, hoping to pick up her trail down the road. Elissa had figured this would have made quite an impression, so after she and Alistair had reunited in Lothering a couple of weeks after, she had made an effort to write Fergus cheerful letters to assure him of their remade peace.
Fergus observed his sister quietly as she scrambled her thoughts to explain her worries. His voice had become a lot more quiet as he spoke again:
"So why didn't you take the boat north, Elissa?"
Shaken by the weight of his words, she snickered apologetically.
"It must have looked like instead of reuniting with my lover, I fled the exact opposite way of the map, I'm sure."
"I figured you had your reasons."
Elissa sighed.
"And so I did."
"Warden business?"
"You could call it that, yes."
A shadow crossed her eyes as she remembered her travels deep through the Kocari wilds, accompanied by a Dalish warrior and a mage from the circle tower. It was there where her trusted Mabari hound had lost it's life. The bitterness she tasted in the bile collecting in her mouth had been more severe back then. The story she had provided Alistair for her unexpected absence had been strengthened by the rigor of her loss, and it had prevented most of the questions that had collected in his mind from being asked. The brief explanation about a rumored darkspawn invasion that had required her immediate attention had silenced Alistair's mind, and the more cryptic description should have silenced her brother's. Apparently, she had been wrong about the latter.
"I never really believed you. An arch demon itself wouldn't have stopped you from seeing Alistair again after all that time."
"Only if it would have worn a dress and served me dinner."
"Ha-ha."
This explanation seemed to have been enough to break the tension. Fergus smiled as Elissa's eyes lit up with the relief of sharing her secret with someone, as little of it as it might be.
"So I take it you're going to share this concern with Alistair, as you finally find it time to elaborate?"
Elissa sighed before she spoke, for the first time realizing this was the only way to go.
"Yes, yes I should."
"And you won't be staying."
She looked at the floor, tempted to have a kick at the vigorously spitting lantern at her feet. Her fright and frustration were getting the better of her.
"Afraid so."
Before she could act on emotion, Fergus picked up the lantern. He held it next to Elissa's face, probably checking to see if she was feeling as well as she sounded. He seemed satisfied, and then turned around.
"Well I guess that's for the better. I wouldn't want you two around when you're planning to set the bomb on him; the last time he had to go after you he took one of my best horses."
Elissa knew better than to take her brother seriously on his remark.
"And that's exactly what we'll do again. I expect us to be travelling again, soon."
