Sat in his office, a mountain of paper work in front of him, the telephone ringing incecently, Harry stared in to the distance. Oblivious to the caos surrounding him. His thoughts are else where. Dreaming of faraway places, cafes in Paris, streets in Rome, museums in barcelona. He odes this alot, daydreaming. The locations change with his moods but the feelings they evoked through his whole body stay the same.

He longed to go back to that day. He wished he had ignored her request. He wished he had ignored her request for him to stop. He hoped that wasnt the last he would see of her. He knew this list was never ending. He yerned to see her light on. He wanted to hold her again. Why hadnt he just told her how he felt? Let the feelings pour out?

The passion he felt was still there and always would be. The urge to tell people how he felt was even more fierce than it was to tell her. Probably because it was safer to tell others than be hurt by her.
But that would be senseless as the only person he wanted to tell was now miles away from here-probably. That thought haunted him. Where was she? How far had she wandered? What was she doing now? Was she happy? Did she think of him as he did her? He wished he knew the answers. Those thoughts made their way through his brain a hundred times a day. Each time leaving him more and more anxious to know their answers.

She was gone and he had to face that. Her departure had made it so easy for her to just slip off the radar. In reality it should have made things easier. The deniability was there if anyone ever found out she was still alive. He didnt know where she was, so couldnt tell anyone. It was supposed to make it easier but Harry found it the hardest part. He just wanted to know where she was to find out if she was ok. To make sure she was safe.

He had loved her form the very second he had seen her. When she walked into the briefing room, late, laiden with files, and caused him to tell that awful joke. She had had a power over him within seconds, yet it had taken years for either of them to acknowledge what they both knew.

He longed to take time off to travel, to track her down, to tell her his feelings. But he was so closely watched he knew it was impossible to ever see her again. Even retired spooks of his station were continually under surveillence. All he wanted was to hold her, to kiss her, feel her against him and see the feelings reciprocated in her eyes. A selfish thought but wasnt that what everybody wanted? To love and be loved in return?