Erik (Phantom)
I awoke with a cold sweat and my breathing fast and shallow, I had dreamt of her again. Oh why can I not throw away the memories…? Those haunting memories… The memories of when she first saw my face and did not turn from it, but only turned from my soul. My begotten soul. Oh God! I wish that she were here. I sighed heavily and slowly rolled out of my bed, memories of her still fluttered around me. I still loved her and no matter what had happened or what is to come, that was forever.
Ever since the night in my dungeons when she left me with a kiss of compassion that I will never forget, and a ring that her fiancé gave her, I have felt broken. I feel like a part of me is gone, that part is her. Everyday, every night, and every moment I think of her. I can hear her angelic voice singing so softly a melody that flows in my black and forsaken heart. The song is so familiar and sounds so real that I feel my hair stand on end as the melody floats all around me, through me and becomes a part of me. I can feel her fragile hands once more grasping me in our final goodbye, her warms lips, so sweet, so tender and caring, and her soft curly locks that flowed with all the grace anyone could find. I can feel the last breath she took in front of me as she left. By now I am shaking with the memories of that night.
She has never really left, I thought to myself. She is still in my heart or the black abyss of what you may call a heart. She is an angel, mon ange, so beautiful and caring, and I am but a tortured soul of a demon who doesn't deserve her presence, and doesn't deserve to even think of her. I let her go that night for one reason, because I loved her so, and that I'd rather her be happy and myself be tormented than keeping her with me against her will… against her happiness. I've never quite left the thought of the kiss that she left me with. I never figured it out truly; for it was the happiest I've ever felt I know. But…Did she do it to set free Raoul or did she do it out of the love she had for me. Did she even love me? Those thoughts shake me from my daydream as I feel the chill of her presence surrounding me, and soon consuming me.
If only I knew… If only I knew…
Christine
Raoul and I were on our way home and I had something bothering me. I knew he wouldn't like me asking him about it but I had to... I must... The question was slowly eating away at my mind. I felt as though I was going to scream it out, but I regained my composure, calmly I leaned my head on his shoulder and gently said "Raoul I have something I wish to ask you."
"Go ahead, you know you can ask me anything." He said with a smile, wrapping his arm around me.
"I know it has been hard for us since all the things that have happened, but…" I continued, hesitating.
"What is it?" he now had a worried look on his face and he pulled me gently from my comfortable spot and sat me where our eyes met.
"I wanted….." I sighed heavily and finally continued, "I wanted to know if you would mind if I went to back to The Opera Populair."
He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair before he looked at me and said, "I knew this would come."
"Raoul please!" I cried. "The Opera House is now repaired." After a few moments I added to my plea, "Music is my life and that Opera house is the only home I've ever had. It is all I've ever known... Don't make me give it up…please."
He looked at me and searched for some form of truth in what I had told him that might lie in my tearful eyes. "Fine, I suppose we can return, but hear me out."
I nodded my head and looked into his wary eyes that were now frantic.
"We will go to the Opera House, but please consider after this final visit, to leave it behind for good." He said in a hoarse tone.
Tears began to stream down my face; I wasn't sure if they were from happiness, sorrow, or both. I smiled the best I could and we continued now to the Opera Populair.
I hadn't told him the true reason why I had wanted to return to The Opera House. I honestly didn't know myself... All I knew is that I had been dreaming of him. I sighed gently as I lay my head back on Raoul's shoulder. By him I mean Erik… I loved Erik and I still do… Even though Raoul is caring and loving to me… (sighs) I just don't want to hurt him anymore. If he knew the truth, it would kill him, for Erik and I share a soul, a soul bound to music. I couldn't leave that behind, no matter how much he and I at one point wanted to escape, there is no way out of the love, out of the fire that burns in Erik's soul and mine… or at least it did in Erik's. Oh how I wish sometimes that I stayed with him.
Is Erik still there? Is he really dead? No he can't be. He isn't. Not after all that happened. These thoughts shot through my mind as if someone was firing a pistol filled with them.
If he is alive, I wonder if he still loves me… I wish I knew… "Erik." I sighed ever so gently, as I slipped into a dream of my love, my life, and my home in the Phantom's lair.
