Over the railing, we'd often talk.
I talked with the orange-haired mikan loving girl I fell in love with. The day when our hands touched over the railing, I felt complete, content and happy. Everyday, her warm and welcoming hand always led me, her bubbly self cheering me up even in the worst of days. When she fell asleep in the bus, her head would lean on my shoulder, and I had to hold in a blush from how nice she smelled. I noticed how her cute ahoge moved from side to side as she walked, which was included in more than a thousand reasons to love her even more.
Over the railing, we rarely talked.
During piano practice, I would frequently look through my window to see Chika and Kanan hanging out together. They were chatting happily, but my heart seems to burn with the flames of jealousy. Most melodies I played started to become melancholy instead of the usual cheery ones. Sometimes I would overthink things, and my mind just becomes a huge wreck after. I wanted to tell her my feelings, but was never brave enough to. Even if we did talk, all she ever talked about was Kanan this, Kanan that. It pains me that the smile on her face wasn't mine.
I mean, who would want me, a plain, boring, normal girl? I'm unmatched to the blue-haired diver, in terms of everything.
Over the railing, we'd never talk anymore.
The usual meeting spot has become deserted, and efforts of waiting for her to show up were in vain. She was rarely around, mostly going to Kanan's house ever since they announced that they were dating.
My heart felt like it just crashed into a thousand pieces, and nobody was there to pick and glue them back together. I felt empty, devoid of warmth, and all I mostly felt was pain. I would cry myself to sleep every night, regretting not confessing my feelings to her. Memories haunt my mind, ingraining every single moment spent with Chika into it. Dark thoughts frequently invaded my brain and I had to push my selfishness down. Voices in my head always whispered things that crushed my self esteem to the ground.
Time flied, and soon enough, Chika was never even in her room anymore. I was used to the pain by now. Although there was always a voice in my mind telling me that I'm a coward. All I did was to live in my memories of Chika. I relished in the past, not wanting to return to the present as it hurt me.
If returning to the past was an option, I would've done it a long time ago.
News reached me, and Kanan and Chika were getting married. I was beyond heartbroken, but I was numb. I had lost my reason to live. I decided to end this suffering of mine at where it all began.
That's why, over the railing, I flew with a smile on my face until I hit the ground.
