Always and Forever

A loud thump awakens me from my slumber; I raise my head a natural reaction to the sound. It takes me a few seconds to register for my head is still fuzzy from the few minutes of sleep I have had in the last three days. I realize the source of the noise and bend down to pick up the book that must have slipped out of my hands and place it back in my lap. Now I am fully awake and pain shoots up my back to my neck I find that trying to take naps in a chair doesn't work as good as it use to in my younger years.

I turn my head and look out the big picture window that my chair is placed by. The sun is starting to set across the beautiful lake the orange and pinks spiraling together to forum a mesmerizing color. I stair at the scene a long moment to get my mind off the pain that has come more frequently with my old age.

I stare out the window a few seconds longer and than turn what little I can in my chair and let my eyes rest upon the sleeping figure in the bed. I decide to get up and stretch my tired muscles. I stand up using the chair as balance and place book, notebook really on the little table ahead of me.

I look at the bed once more before I decide to go and get me a drink of water I leave the room in hopes that my legs want give out on me. The hall is quiet as the room I was just in which is odd because the hall is usually crowded with people coming in and out to visit their family or friends. But there is no one in ight which is a good thing I am not much on crowds. It takes me a while to walk down the hall to the water fountain by the elevators. I pass rooms that are a lot like the one I just left quiet their habitant sleeping, dreaming peaceful dreams, and I pass doors that are loud with the sound of TVs and radios or their visitors. I make it to the fountain my dry mouth anticipating the cold liquid that will soon fill it. I bend down my mouth opening slightly to take the clear goodness as it comes out of the spout when I fill something pulling on my leg. I raise my body and look down to see a little boy.

He has to be about 4 because he looks around the age of my youngest grandchild. "Yes" I say assuming he wants something from me.

I hope he isn't lost my mind grumbles. I like children that is not the problem but if this little boy is lost this means I am going to have to help him find his parents or parent which means I will have to do more walking than I think my legs could handle.

The little boy doesn't say anything at first but his small round face brightens with a smile and points to the fountain. "I wantz sum water please" still pointing. I look at him and than back up to the water found realizing his meaning. This little boy wants some water, but is far from reaching the top. I look back down at him nod with a smile has the boy begins to giggle at what I don't know.

I bend down and pick him up and hold him over the top so he can get him some water it seems like he is drinking the whole supply before he lifts his head and states "Alls done". I set him back down where he lifts his hand to his face and wipes the excess water that his running down his mouth. "Thank you sir" he says putting his hand out I assume to shake my own. My face breaks into a smile at the little boy I take my hand out of my pocket and push it towards him which he takes and shakes. Before I can ask the little boy his name I hear a young woman call out for the little boy. He thanks me again and runs down the hall toward the sound. I watch him as he disappears down the hall than I turn around and get the drink of water I intended on getting from the start.

After a long drink of water I turn making my way back down the hall. After seems like forever I reach the room. That has been my home for the three days. I am starting to get use to it but at first I must say I was not a happy camper. I hate hospitals their rooms seem so empty so impersonal it is the same as the next. The walls are a stark white, with the exception of a few small paintings of birds. There is small brown table by the bed which holds a small lamp, a tan telephone, and a plastic pink water jug. Across the room is the small tan chair and tiny table by the window where I was resting before. The only thing that makes this room tolerable is the picture window. You can't see this view from any other room in this dreaded place. That's when I saw it I knew she would love it. Even though she wasn't awake to see the beautiful scene just outside of these walls I knew she could feel it which made it alright for me. I walk a few shorts steps to wear the chair is an pull it towards the bed where she rests.

Sleeping soundly; unaware of the world going on around her. Her mouth is open slightly puffs of air coming out each second seeing this makes me smile. Along with the smile come memories, memories of the past 58 years of seeing her sleep. I grab her hand still as tiny as the day we met of course it has changed like the rest of her over the years. Her skin is no longer tight; her hair is no longer a light shade of Auburn, her face is no longer wrinkle free quite the opposite. But her eyes are still as brown and deep as they always were, I am still able to look at her and feel as if I am looking right into her soul.

I bring her hand to my lips and in twine our fingers. Looking at her like this makes my heart break I feel she want last much longer and it kills me to think I may have to go on in this world without her. I don't know what I will do without her, someone to help me, keep me in line. I can feel my eyes began to water with the thought, I rest my head on her stomach and inhale the sent of Vanilla she still smells as sweet as she did when she was 17. I close my eyes letting the memories take over I let my mind bring me back to a time when the world was a different place, when we were young, when we were filled such love that we though that was all the we needed.