D A M N A T I O N ?

A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile

Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation

Author's Note: Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.

Summary: Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.

Chapter: 1 / 4


Yomi was in his office, lounging in his executive leather seat and flicking through the latest edition of 'Gundara Times' when his diabolically evil and insane secretary flung open his office doors with a terrific burst. He winced, eardrums smarting at the mini explosion that was Azile's entry and irritably looked up. She held in her hands an assortment of accessories, most prominent of which included a bundle of white fabric and something brown and furry laying on top.

"Your beard," Azile said, smirking. She held out the prop to him with an air of challenge. Yomi sighed and closed his magazine. If he didn't hear her out, she would never leave him alone and his hopes for a quiet, solitary afternoon would be dashed to pieces.

"And what would I do with a beard?"

Azile's eyes glittered with triumph. "Prove a point!"

"That I look like a circus freak?"

Azile gave an assured chuckle. "Don't worry. There's also this rubber mask you have to wear. I've got the technicians to come up with a holo-graphic device which can hide your ears and horns."

She toppled her load of accessories onto his desk and pulled the reluctant him to his feet. She hummed an odd tune as she held up the white fabric and tried to wrap it around him, now and then holding up his arms and positioning them as if he was a barbie doll.

"Do I at least have the right to know what point I have to prove?"

Azile's already broad grin excessively widened, revealing her four pairs of poison tipped fangs and the forked tongue darting between the wide gaps of her teeth.

"This is my spontaneous project. My aim is to prove that Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio can not be brainwashed into the Cult of Kristianity."

Yomi plonked himself back into his chair and furiously rubbed his temples. He stared wistfully in the direction of his magazine. "Spare me from these boring science experiments, please!"

"No no no!" Azile rushed to haul him back onto his feet and frenetically struggled to get the robes back in place. "You see, you will make this interesting. You are going to dress up as Geezus Krist, Grand-bastard of Gawd, and evangelize to my targets. Here, I've even got your script prepared."

Both grunted as Azile jerked the rubber mask over Yomi's head and smeared glue over the rubbery surface to stick the beard on. Before he had a chance to protest, Yomi was steered towards the open office doors and pushed out into the corridors towards the dimension generating labs.

"Memorize the lines and get your flabby arse over to Ningenkai this instant!"

Yomi objected to the unfavourable description, all of a sudden quite self-consciousness about the perkiness of his behind, but almost tripping over the folds of his robe instilled another thought.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he grumbled, flapping his arms in a vain attempt to locate his hands through the seemingly endless lengths of fabric, "but I was under the impression that fashionable humans don't dress like this."

Azzy rolled her eyes, as if the answer was so bloody obvious that Yomi had to be senile or suffer from dementia to even ask. "You're Krist for the day. You've got to look the part, so thank me for not making you carry a heavy fibreglass T to complement your outfit. I want to know the outcome. Be convincing!"


First Test Subject: Leorio

According to Azile's databanks, Leorio was the tall man with the short hair, taking energetic steps, strutting in a purposeful manner towards the shade of an oak with his lunch in hand. He was alone. Perfect, thought Yomi, partially dejected for having to carry on with the ridiculous act in the first place, and partially relieved that there was not an extra human around to ridicule him.

The moment Yomi locked his (false) eyes with Leorio and took a step towards the seated man, he heard a groan, a sound so filled with despair you'd think the prisoners being tortured in Gundara's dungeon were happy folk. Leorio's scratching of the back of the head became more intense as Yomi closed the gap with Azile's first target, ending with a lava-hot glare.

"Damnit! I just want to have lunch without being bothered by you horribly intrusive people. Shoo! I'm not interested!"

This baffled Yomi, for he hadn't even opened his mouth to speak yet this Leorio was already irritated. Was this really an experiment, or a carefully arranged prank by Azile for her sadistic humour? He shook his head and tried hard not to dwell on the latter, putting his faith into the scrap of humanity left within Azile not to torture him thus.

So Yomi mentally scanned through the script in search for the right words.

"My son – "

As soon as those words had been uttered, Leorio gave an exasperated sigh and banged the back of his head against the rough tree trunk at regular intervals. It appeared that he had abandoned resistance and was hoping that Yomi would go away and leave him be as soon as his speech was over. Or maybe Yomi might leave after seeing torrents of blood leak from the wound that he was indirectly the cause of.

Yomi cleared his throat and started again.

"My son, you must be tired – "

"Six hour open heart surgery does that to you," Leorio growled, then sank his teeth in for a vicious bite of his sandwich.

"– you feel that your life is incomplete –"

"What's the point of life if you're not working towards a goal? Of course my life is incomplete, you dolt," said Leorio with his mouth full. He wasn't particularly too ashamed about the fact that his particles of chewed food sailed across the air and landed on Yomi's clothing. Yomi shuddered and ploughed on, sweating inside the inferno that the rubber mask became on a hot and humid day and swore bloody murder. One thought pervaded his mind: get this over and done with.

"– and there is this empty void which you can't fill no matter what. There is one person who can fulfil your life, and that person is I, Geezus Krist, for I am everything and anything that you need to satisfy that emptiness you suffer in life. I am the Almighty, I am the healer, I am the all forgiving, I –"

Leorio rolled his eyes and held up a hand for Yomi to stop. "Look, I've heard it all before, ok? I see your guys over at the cancer ward all the time. You might be able to comfort the terminally ill, but I really don't need this. I've actually got too much on in life right now to fix a religious attachment to the list. So take your good intentions elsewhere, ok?"

The script referred Yomi to Dialogue B.

"My son, I am here to comfort you, to help you understand the world's injustices, to let you know that everything in this world happens for a reason. I am aware that your friend passed away because his poverty didn't allow him to obtain the necessary assistance – "

"For goodness sakes, Krist, I'm only trying to have lunch. Must you talk about dead people when I am eating?"

"I know you're sad, my son, your friend's death was a miserable tragedy, something unfair and unjust, a death that should have been avoidable, and so you're also angry – "

Leorio leapt to his feet. "I got over it. I got back on my feet, joined the Hunter Exam, am officially a hunter who knows and understands nen, and will be a doctor who does pro-bono work for children in the poor countries.

"Whether I'm sad or not is frankly none of your business. I don't need your pity, and even if I am sad, I am strong enough to transform that energy into creating a career that is productive and good. If making me wallow in my miseries is the best you can do to make me vulnerable to convert to your faith, I'd say you are insensitive, and offensive to use the name of my dead friend to further your cause!"

"There's so much anger in you my son!" Yomi mentally blanched at the words he was forced to utter. "I can see you are in greater need of a saviour and my love than I first assu – argh!"

Yomi hit the floor with a solid crunch. The cramped confines of his rubber mask had distorted his sense of perception, ruined his judgement and reduced his hearing down to point oh-two percent. He didn't hear the blow coming, hence coped it square on the jaw and staggered two steps backwards. That wouldn't have been too bad, had he not stepped on his dress, stumbled, then gracelessly crashed to the ground like a felled tree.

He moaned at his ill fortune.

Judging by the sting and the force with which his teeth grated together when struck, Yomi judged that there was nen behind that punch. After slowly counting to thirty, he sat up, retrieved the clipboard from inside his clothes, and checked the boxes that corresponded to the situation.

(X) Appealed to Target's vulnerabilities.

(X) Offered to pity the Target

(X) Was rebuffed by physical violence.

Yomi flipped the page over to the next target, Kurapika, but balked at the fine print under Leorio's name.

If Leorio was supposed to be the weakest of the four, what would Kurapika do to him if he too resorted to violence?

On a hot and sunny day, in the cooling shade of a great oak, an old youkai sobbed.