Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 1

We were glad we were twins, Shuri and I. When we started to get closer than any siblings ought to be, we were even more glad. Being twins helped us hide the true nature of our closeness.

It didn't really start until high school. A girl - I can't even remember her name - confessed her love for me. And it hit me that I wanted nothing to do with her. Her or any other girl she knew, most likely.

It almost scared me, how clear my emotions became to me in that moment. I was in love with Shuri. My sister. I loved her, and was in love with her.

Abruply terrified, I turned the girl down and fled. I must have said something terrible, because she never so much as looked at me again. And for two weeks after that, I did my best to act normal. I pretended the epiphany I'd had wasn't weighing me down, wasn't putting a wedge between me and Shuri larger than anything else had before. I should have known I couldn't hide something like this from Shuri, though.

She cornered me in my room, and demanded I tell her what she'd done wrong. She thought she'd done something that hurt me, or pissed me off. I can't think of anything Shuri could do that would hurt me deep enough to make me push her away from me. I was terrified of her reaction, but however deep my fear was, I couldn't let her think it was her fault. She'd done nothing wrong.

Eyes focused on my hands, clenched into fists on my knees, I said "I love you. I'm in love with you." I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. We were twins. It was terrible. She would never speak to me again. My thoughts spiraled downward, fear and despair pulsing alternately with my heartbeat, images of loneliness and abandonment looping through my mind's eye.

The kiss that landed on my cheek was the last thing I expected. The spiral and loop of negative emotions shattered, as I stared at Shuri in shock. Why hadn't she left? It didn't matter. I was just happy she hadn't.

When the second kiss landed on my lips, the shock broke, and relief flooded through me, bringing tears with it.

All I could say that night, going to sleep, was "Thank you."

We never went further than a few kisses for some time, following my confession. I was so relieved and happy, I practically felt like I could touch the sky.

I didn't come down to earth until Shuri told me about Hoshino's confession to her. I got scared, all of a sudden, of what people would think if we kept turning down everyone who said they loved us, or asked us out on dates. But I wouldn't go out with someone I didn't love, or at least, someone I thought I could love. And the only one I loved, that way, was Shuri.

We had sex that night, after we knew we would never want someone else, for the first time. Nothing can make me regret that. Nothing. What me and Shuri had, and still have, is pure and true. Even our father, who walked in not minutes later, couldn't make me regret it.

But I was still terrified, when he walked in. When he assumed I was comforting her from a nightmare, I could feel Shuri's shaky sigh of relief against the skin of my chest, and was hard pressed to keep from echoing the action. I nodded, instead, and he left, just like that. He wanted nothing to do with nightmares.

Never again were we as careless as we had been that first time. In spite of our father and step mother, we were happy. Despite the knowledge that we would never be accepted by the world as partners, we were together.

Sana's return made it all the sweeter. The five of us, together again. Fishing, exploring, hanging out. Somehow, though, Sana managed to forget Nanaka, and I don't know how he managed that when the two of them were always so close. Then again, their relationship had always been a bit different. They would get over it.

Being together again made me realize that we'd started to grow apart. Without Sana, we'd stopped paying quite as close attention to each other. Even when Nanaka was... Well, we'd tried to help, but Sana was the only one who could truly reach her, and we drew back a little.

I could tell Shuri was worried that with everyone being good friends again, someone might notice something about us, but with all the missteps Sana kept making around Nanaka, I was sure she had nothing to worry about.

That was just before someone turned our lives into a living hell. Some anonymous asshole gave the school a letter that said we'd gone to a love hotel together.

I all but froze. It was true. We had gone to a love hotel. And it had been my idea. This was my fault. Listening to Shuri and Yuzuki-sensei arguing with the principal and vice-principal, all I could do was nod my agreements and clutch the bracelet around my wrist, a tangible sign of mine and Shuri's love for each other, the only comfort I dared claim in that moment.

I closed my eyes in relief when the principal said she believed us.

When she said she would be reporting everything to our parents, I knew I would be wearing a few bruises to bed that night.