CHAPTER 1
Malfoy,
I see you've weaseled your way into the Umbridge's little rank of boy scouts. You seem quite smug, wearing your little badge around and bullying younger years like some all-powerful authority. I would suggest trying not to let it get to your head, but your ego is already huge; I'm certain it can't get any larger, or else your head shall burst. Oh, and next time, try to actually crush the Asphodel leaves before adding it to the Wiggenweld Potion? I'd like to maintain an O in Potions, thanks.
Granger
Know-It-All,
I do believe that you've gotten more annoying over these past few years, and for your information, I have gotten an O in potions each year since first year. If you desire to make the Wiggenweld Potion correctly, you have to split the lacewing legs.
Malfoy
Silver-Haired Snake,
I would say I'm surprised, but the amount of kissing-up that occurs in Potions, particularly from you, I am eagerly awaiting for Professor Snape to promote you to a higher Potions class. Apparently, ferrets can make half-decent potions. Who knew? I shall write to the Daily Prophet in great haste!
Granger
Bush-head,
It amazes me how you don't seem to know how to move on from the past. While I may have been a ferret momentarily, you have been, are, and always will be a beaver. Anyways, if you report to the Prophet, my father will hear about it.
Malfoy
Daddy's boy,
For your information, my teeth are perfectly proportional, no thanks to you. Further, you left your arithmancy textbook on the table, so I've taken the liberty to include it. If I find it alone again, I will burn it in a bonfire. If you hope to keep your memories in the future, I recommend that you stop running into walls while chasing me. I've heard it affects the brain.
Granger
Teacher's Pet,
Me? Running? I am a gentleman. Gentlemen do not run. I have, however, noted you running about the castle at an alarming rate. It seems to possess a pattern; are you, by any chance, late for something? It would be a shame if Gryffindor's little princess were to be involved with some…rule-breaking. I'd be careful, Granger.
Malfoy.
Prat,
In regards to your comment, I prefer to actually attempt to make it to class on time, unlike yourself. Earlier, I saw you enter a broom closet with Crabbe and Goyle. I didn't know they had enough brain cells to comprehend shame or privacy. However, I don't think any of you understand the point of a mop or a broom. You see, a broom is used to sweep the garbage off the floor. A mop on the other hand, is used to wet and dry the floor. I'm sure if it doesn't make sense to you and your poor sheltered pureblood mind, Filch can help you during your detention tonight!
With Love,
Granger
Bookworm,
Must I remind you we have OWLs? Shouldn't you be inhaling some book or forcing Potter and Weasel to study (God knows they are incompetent fools)? It would be a shame if something were hindering your preparations or distracting you. I will be keeping a watchful eye on the halls, to catch and rule-breaking delinquents. Luckily, neither you nor your friends fall under such a category.
I'm shocked you haven't put those sucking-up skills to use this year. Maybe Dumbledore has finally found a teacher who can see past your façade? The Ministry does always put forward their best.
Malfoy
Toad minion,
Finally, the school year is over and you are no longer my potions partner. I would say it's been fun, but we both know that's not true. Thanks to you, we only got an adequate O for the term. As a result, I've included this 40ft long research paper on the possible reasons for your sudden brain cell loss.
Granger
Ginger follower,
I'm flattered by how much you care about my education and intelligence, so I decided to return the favor. I've attached an article from your favorite magazine, Witch Weekly, titled "How to get rid of the bush on your head." It made me think of you instantly. Don't bother returning it; my mother doesn't care, so you can sell it to help Weasel pay for his next meal.
Malfoy
OH HI. So its me, emsaduem and emerald again. We are pumping out Dramiones like obsessive shippers (oh wait...). I know this is a commonly used format for a one-shot, but we wanted to expand. This chapter is dedicated to the 5th Year. It's slightly confusing, so if you have any questions, either PM me or emerald, or just this account in general. Enjoy!
