Author's note:

So this is just a second fiction I am working on, I am mainly focusing on my other CaptainSwan fic though (you might check that out as well :D ) I know this has been done before but I wanted to make my own version of it! Inspired by the movie "Now is Good"

Please read and rate :)


Let the morning come

Prologe: I will forget my dreams, nothing is what it seems

„Emma, there'll be a slight pinch and burn, then the anesthetic will kick in. All right?" I nodded at him. He gave me the injection. I flinched because of the pain. I did not look at him, I just stared at some point behind him, trying to focus on something else than this room. The beautiful flowers out there, the sunny day. All was better than this small, crowded room with too many people in it, starring at me like I was an animal and no human at all. The doctor now faced the trainees and nurses.

„Now, I wiggle up and down to break the tissue around the insertion point. She may feel a slight tugging across the chest, but once the line detaches from the cuff, it will simply slide away. Now, of course I can reinsert the catheter should you wish to recommence your treatment." I looked at him confused.

„I'm saying you can change your mind. It would give you more time." More time. It sounded tempting. „I won't change my mind." „Okay then." He pulled the damn thing out. I closed my eyes until the strange feeling of burning in my chest faded. „Hold that for me." He took my hand and pressed it onto the insertion point. The pressure should help to stop the bleeding.

When I asked him the question - which was eating me up on the inside - I tried to sound calm and emotionless as if I did not care, as if it did not matter to me at all. But my voice was shaking. „How much time do you think I have left?" He winked at the trainees and nurses to give us some private time.

They walked out, having all forgotten about me. They were chatting about parties and holidays. But who could condemn them? I was just one of many to them. To everyone.

„I don't want to be drawn into time scales." „I won't sue if you are wrong." He gave me a sad smile. „Maybe a year, no more than that. If I were you, I would start doing things you always wanted to do. Maybe you should make a list." Tears were burning behind my eyes, but I did not want to be weak in front of him. I could not really process what he told me. A year. Only a year.

I sat up, feeling a bit dizzy. „And you know what to look for, right?" „Yeah. Chill, fever, stiff neck or headache. Drainage, bleeding, loss of strength." „You're good." „Thank you. I think I am going home now." „Is there anyone to pick you up?" I almost had to laugh out loud. He asked me, the orphan, who was thrown away by her parents, left on the streets to die, if there was anyone out there in the waiting room who cared enough to be here for me. I was alone all my life, always searching for the one thing I could not have. A family. Being loved. But in the 28 years I have lived, nothing has changed. I am still all by myself. „No, there is no one."

I was sitting in front of the TV, switching channels. But nothing seemed to interest me these days. I turned the TV off. A year. I have only one year left. I should not waste it with watching TV. What has the doctor said, a list? Maybe that was not a bad idea.

I picked up a pencil and a piece of paper. I just stared at the blank page. Nothing came to my mind, it was as if my brain has stopped operating correctly. My gaze was wandering through my small apartment. There were no pictures, no paintings, just white walls. I never owned much because I did not stay long anywhere, I have been on the move all my life.

Maybe that was my first point on the list. I wrote down: Finding a home. That was a beginning, but I needed some inspiration. So I googled what people did before their death. There were many people who have asked the same question as me. What to do with only a small amount of time left. Thank you internet.

I was browsing for many hours, reading the answers of the people. Most were suggesting adventurous things like jumping out of a plane but I was not the type to do such things. One answer although made me thoughtful. „What do you regret in your life? If you could go back in time what would you change? Maybe you should start there to decide what to do."

I regretted so many things in my life. And then, all of a sudden, many ideas flew into my mind. I wrote down: Opening up to people, finding friends, do not be alone anymore. I underlined the last point on the list.

Suddenly, I was thinking of Neal. He broke my heart, I never let someone in there again. So now the last point was, falling in love. And because of thinking about Neal, I also thought of the baby boy I gave away. What has become of him? So I wrote down: Meeting your son and apologize to him.

I read the list again and started laughing. What was I believing? That only because I am dying I can change my life all of a sudden? That I can be whoever I want to be? No, I can not alter who I am. I am a loner. I was alone my whole life, and I will die alone. I screwed the paper up and threw it into the dust bin.

I should have written down things that I was able to do. On my own. Like swimming in the ocean deep in the night, making a road trip, go on a party, hell, even taking drugs would be better than the shit that was standing on the other list. The other list was just a list of wishes from a little girl who has not lost hope. But I have lost hope a long time ago. I was just too broken. Life has shattered me because it never had anything to offer for poor little Emma Swan.

My head was aching as hell but I was used to this by now. I got so angry. Why me? Why did I had to go through all this? Tears started flowing.

All of a sudden, the door bell was ringing. I wondered who it could be. I was expecting no one. Who are you kidding Emma, you never got any visitors. I brushed away the tears and opened the door, hoping that whoever was there would not notice my tears. A boy was standing before my door.

At least, somebody I did not know. „Hey kid, I guess you took the wrong door. If you want to go to Justin, he is the next door." „I do not know any Justin. I wanted to you, Emma Swan." He knew my name, how? The door sign, Emma. For a moment I thought he knew me. What a crazy thought.

„Why? Where are your parents? Should I call them?" „You gave away a child when you were 18, didn't you?" „Is this some sick joke? Who told you that?" „No one. I am this kid." I looked into his eyes. Could it be? He somehow looked like Neal but there was a time when I saw Neal's face in everyone I met.

„Can I come in?" „No..." But he just walked past me. „Wait!" He walked around as if he owned this place already. „I am Henry by the way." He sat down. „Do your parents know that you are here?" He looked onto the floor. „Did you run away?" „Yes, so what?"

I somehow felt guilty. Maybe he was part of the foster system, maybe no one adopted him, maybe no one wanted him, just like no one wanted me. Maybe he went through a rough time with one of the families. I checked his face to see any signs of him being mistreated. How foolish of me, can't you remember Emma? They never leave signs of their beating on places other people could see.

„Excuse me for a second." I rushed into the bathroom. I washed my face with cold water to think straight. I looked into the mirror. I looked like shit. Why did he have to come now? I walked out of the bath room. „You have to come back to me, to Storybrooke." „Why would I do that? I cannot just leave, I have a job" (Lie), „I cannot leave everything behind. I will call the police now."

„Then I will say you kidnapped me." „What? Are you threatening me now? Let me tell you something, I have this superpower that I know when people are lying, and you my friend are only bluffing." „Okay, but please, just drop me off there, okay?" Think of your list Emma, you wanted to meet him. It was almost a miracle, that he was standing before your door when you wrote it down only minutes ago. Furthermore, you gave him away, you could do him at least one favor. „Let's go then. To Storybrooke, huh?"

Is everyone in this town crazy? First, the boy I gave away shows up and wants to convince me that my parents are fucking Snow White and Prince Charming and that they are cursed, just like every other fairytale character that was ever mentioned in a story. Above all, he thinks that I am their savior, that I can break the curse and give everyone their happy ending back.

He also showed me some pages in his storybook which he thinks are about me. He must be really troubled to flee into this crazy world of his where everyone was a fairytale character.

Me, a savior? I nearly laughed out loud. I could not even handle my own life. The only time that I have been happy was with Neal but we all know how that story ended.

Henry always looked at me as if every word that came out of my mouths would magically let rainbows appear all over Storybrooke. He was so convinced of his story, he had such believe in me. But he should not do such a foolish thing. I am no savior, neither his, nor anyone else's. He should not put all his hopes into me of freeing him from his mother.

Yeah, speaking of, Henry's adoptive mother was such a charming lady. That bitch, I can understand why he calls her the evil queen when Regina's not around. She also happens to be the major of this town. I wonder how she got so many votes. But as I said, crazy people.

She invited me into her home, she made small talk with me, while she was looking at me like she wanted to dagger me. She said something about her not knowing who Henry's parents were and that the documents were sealed.

Yeah, that's because I did not want to see him. I wanted to avoided this whole situation by doing so. Not because I was not interested in him, no, I knew that if I would see him one more time, I did not want to walk away again. But he deserved better. What could I have given him? A 18 year old girl without a job, without proper education. I would have been the worst mother ever.

Whenever I played our future through in my head, I knew that I was not ready to be a mother. I would have loved him from the bottom of my heart, but I could not have cared for him the way I had wanted. I wanted to give him his best chance, which I definitely was not.

Nonetheless, the major saw me as a threat to take her son away from her. I could read between the lines, she was threatening me. If only she knew anything about my life, she would not do such a foolish thing. Even if I could, I would not take him with me. I did not want him to get attached. I did not want to hurt him. I did not want him to see me die.

No, it was good the way it was. Henry was just going through a rough time. Growing up is not easy. Regina may be a strict mother but Henry is well taken care of, I am sure. At least, I hope so. But there is nothing that I could do to change things. I should not waste my time since I had only so little left.

I walked away from Regina's house. I somehow felt as if I was burning, I guess another fever-wave. I also felt a little dizzy, my vision got blurry. I tried to blink it away. I almost tripped over my own feet unless someone has caught me.

„Careful there." I looked into the bluest eyes I have ever seen. I could feel his breath cool against my hot skin. I had the feeling that time stood still. But then I was myself again and pulled away quickly. „Thanks." „You're welcome, love." Irish accent. Totally hot. Emma, stop!

„You new in town? I have never seen you before and don't take me wrong, but a face as yours, I would have remembered." He was smirking at me. „I was just dropping someone off." I wanted to walk to my car but was stopped by his voice. „Already leaving, love?" „Yes, I want to be home before dawn."

„Want to have a drink with me first?" Was he flirting with me? „I don't drink before driving." He has made a step towards me, ignoring my private space. I took a step back, only to find my back pressed against a wall. He placed his hands beside my head, leaning closer to me, making it impossible for me to escape.

„Don't worry, you can stay at my place till tomorrow." I have never met such a cocky bastard. I was boiling inside but my voice was calm. „I am not that kind of girl." „So what kind of girl are you then?" „Wouldn't you like to know?" „Perhaps I would."

He starred into my eyes, I was shivering under his intense gaze. He did not seem to notice. „Would you be so kind to take away your hands? You are wasting my time." He pushed himself from the wall. „Here you go." I did not say anything and just walked passed him. „In case you wondered, my name is Killian Jones." I turned around to face him again: „And I am ... Not interested, Killian Jones." As I walked away I could feel his eyes on me, which made my heart race.

I sat into my car. I felt so sleepy, these days I could sleep all day. Maybe I should have stayed one night. No Emma, you should not get attached. He may be the boy you gave birth to, but he is not your son. I was on my way out of Storybrooke and that was for the best.

Suddenly, a wolf appeared on the street. Wait, am I hallucinating? No, it was definitely there. I turned the wheel and crushed against a tree. My head hurt, everything was blurry. I tried to get out of the car, but then darkness took over.

When I woke up, I starred at a white ceiling. Where was I? This was definitely not my bed. I was shifting my weight, so that I could sit up and regretted it the moment I did. My head hurt. „Ah, the sleeping beauty decided to wake up. Finally." I slowly turned my head and saw that I was behind bars.

I was in jail? What has happened? „Who are you?" „I am the Sheriff." „Why am I in here?" „Driving under alcohol influence." „What? I did not drink." „But you had an accident and crushed into a tree." „Yeah, because a fucking wolf was on the street." „A wolf? In Maine? Of course."

„Did you make an alcohol test?" I looked him in the eyes and saw that that had not crossed his mind. „Well, then I do not think you have the right to keep me in here." Reluctantly, he searched for the right key and opened my cell.

„I will keep an eye on you." „I will not be here much longer." „Well, I guess, if you want to leave, there is a problem." „What now?" „Your car is at the auto repair shop. I think it's quite the damage." Perfect. Just perfect. „Where can I find this shop?" He then looked at my face and seemed to be guilty. I looked into the window and saw in my reflection, that I was bruised. It looked really bad. I hate my fucking life. „I'll take you there." „You don't have to." „Don't make me regret this."

As soon as the sheriff parked, I jumped out of the car. I could not stand this creepy silence between us any longer. I seemed to have pissed him off real bad, although I did not do anything. I also kept my mouth shut, I did not insult him. But again, i guess there are only crazy people in this town.

I saw my car and someone was standing behind it, I could only see the feet because the bonnet was up. „How bad is it?" I could hear someone swearing. I was just being ignored, so I walked closer, to have a look for myself. And there he was, his white shirt drenched with engine oil. I was so startled, that I did not even notice the sheriff standing beside me.

„Killian, how long will it take?" He now faced us. He looked surprised. „It's you..." Then his look fell onto my bruises. He made a step closer and his finger brushed over my bruised skin. It felt as if thousands of needles were stabbing me. But I did not show the pain.

„Why didn't you bring her to see a doctor? That looks pretty bad. I did not know you were so careless, Graham. Maybe she has inner bleedings!" „Yesterday they did not look so bad!" They started screaming at each other. I did not really listen to what they were saying. I just starred at my car, trying to figure out what has to be repaired. Maybe I could fix this on my own.

But to be honest, I was not that good at repairing cars, I tried it once. Total loss after that. The boys were still fighting with each other. „Guys, I am fine. Stop the screaming, I need you", I pointed at Killian, „to repair my car and you should probably be heading back to the station." They looked at me like they had forgotten about me. Graham was still angry, I could see that. Without another word, he turned and got into his car.

Killian and I both watched him drive away. „So how bad is it?" He now smiled at me. „Your name for information." „Are you fucking kidding me?" „Hey, your car made me all dirty." He was smirking at me again. I just ignored his ambiguous remark.

„Fine, the name's Emma Swan." „Emma, what a beautiful name. " „So, when I can I drive home?" „Not anytime soon." „What? Why? If you are good at your job, it should only take a couple of hours." „Are you the expert here? Trust me, I know exactly what I am doing, but there is nothing I can do for now. I don't have the spares, I have to order them." „How long will it take?" „A week." „Brilliant." Another wave of pain hit my head. I had to support myself against the car. „Are you okay?" I could not see him clear anymore. „Emma!" Everything went black again.

When I woke up, his face was the first thing I saw. „Don't move, I think you fainted. Here drink this." He handed me a coke. „It's flat." „You are though to please." „You say that as if it was a bad thing." He was dialing a number on his mobile phone. „What are you doing?" „I am calling 911." „What no, I am fine." „But you just fainted and you had an accident." „It was not the first time I fainted." „Are you diabetic? Drink some more." He watched me with his blue, blue eyes.

„Wanna help me up, please?" He took my hand and pulled me up. His hands laying on my hips to support me. His thumb brushed the skin between my shirt and my jeans. I was looking into his ocean blue eyes. My eyes trailed down to his lips. Everything about his face was just so perfect. He caught me starring at his lips.

„I bet you fainted because of me, I have that effect on women." „You wish." He smiled again. „You really should go see a doctor, love. The hospital is just around the corner." I let go of his hand. „I do not need a doctor."

I opened the door to my car and grabbed my bag. I pulled my phone out and looked onto the display for missed calls. I had a new voicemail. I walked outside, so that Killian would not hear something he should not. „Emma, this is Jen from the hospital, you missed your appointment today. We need to check your blood levels. Please call back."

I wanted to call her back but then I saw the major coming our way. „Miss Swan, what are you still doing here? I thought you were leaving." „I am. I had an accident." Killian walked to us. „Regina, what brings you here?" „It's Henry. He is missing. Again." „What? Why didn't you tell me?" „My son is none of your concern." „But I can help searching him. I am very good at finding people, it's my job." „Okay then."

We have split up in teams. Regina was talking to Henry's teacher from whom he apparently had the credit card to drive to Boston. Killian has whispered in my ear that he had an idea where Henry could be. He took my hand and dragged me with him.

At first we were walking silently next to each other. But then he faced me and asked: „Why did you come to Storybrooke anyway? You know I am curious since no one comes to Storybrooke." „I told you before. I gave someone a ride home." „Yeah, but the thing is, that no one leaves Storybrooke either."

„You are just exaggerating." „No, I am not." „Can we talk about something else? Or not talk at all." He did not speak for a couple of minutes but his mouth did not stay shut for long. „The other thing I was wondering was, what did you do to piss Regina? Girl, when she looked at you, I was afraid she would jump at you and strangle you." „I did nothing to piss her off." And murmured: „I just gave birth to her son." „What? So you are Henry's birthmother?" I was shocked that he had heard that. It seemed like he had also a superpower: bat-ears. He smiled at me. „There are quite a few stories about you here in Storybrooke."

Did he mean Henry's idea of me being the savior? „What stories?" „About what you look like, why you gave Henry away and all that kind of stuff. Everyone in town is very fond of your boy, so everyone was curious of Henry's birth parents." Your boy. Henry was certainly not my boy. Although it sounded good.

„Where are we heading anyway?" „Henry has a secret hiding place." „Can't be such a secret when you know of it." „I am not the person he his hiding from." I knew that he was speaking of Regina. „Does she treat him well?" „Love, I am the wrong person to ask. Regina and I… we can't stand each other. The only reason she came to me to ask for my help is because she knows that Henry trusts me."

„Sounds like you know Henry very well?" „I do. He is a good lass, your boy." „You should not be calling Henry my boy. He is Regina's son." I speeded up so that I now was walking in front of him. He wanted to say something but then I caught sight of Henry sitting at a wooden castle.

„Henry, there you are!" I stormed to him. „Emma." He looked into my face. „What happened?" „I had a car accident." „Are you okay?" „Yes, I am fine." Lies. I tell everyone lies. „Why did you run away again?" „I don't want to talk about it." „Why?" „Because you do not want to hear it." „Try me." „Regina, she is evil. You can stay and watch for yourself."

„I have to stay for one week anyway." „Really?" „But don't expect me to stay any longer unless…" „Unless?" „I have the feeling you are being mistreated." He hugged me. I was so overwhelmed by this feeling. His small hands at my back. His face pressed against my shoulder, smiling. I nearly had to smile myself. But I did not want any emotion to break through the surface. „Let's bring you back home now."

„Killian, you are here too?" Killian was smiling at him. „Aye, I cannot blame you. When Emma's around I would not notice myself either." His eyes met mine for a split second, making me shiver again. He then ruffled Henry's hair and gave Henry a piggyback ride. I went after the two of them, not knowing what I have gotten myself into.

„Thank you, Miss Swan, for finding Henry." „No problem." Regina wanted to close the door, but I held her back, my foot being in the door frame. „What is it?" „Do you love him? Henry, I mean." „Of course, I do. And I hope there is not a misunderstanding. Do you know what a closed adoption is, it's what you asked for. Henry is my son. Stay away from him or I'll destroy you." She slammed the door in my face. I was not pissed at her because she has threatened me. Again. But when she spoke of loving Henry, she had no emotion in her voice. I was beginning to mistrust her more and more.

She always talked about knowing what's best for Henry, but I began to doubt that.

I walked back to where Killian was waiting. „So is there any place I can stay a couple of days?" „My offer still holds. You can come to my place." I rolled my eyes. „I don't bite, I promise. Unless you are into that." „Killian", I warned him with my voice. „There is a bed and breakfast." „Finally, something useful coming out of your mouth." He made a step towards me, ignoring my private space, AGAIN! „Love, my mouth could be so much more useful to you in more enjoyable activities."

My eyes wandered to his lips. I bit my bottom lip. I imagined his lips on my whole body, making me shiver, making me scream. He was grinning at me and all of the lust I had been feeling was replace by anger and shame. I wanted to punch him in the face. So I just slapped him and left him there. He was screaming after me: „I always liked challenges, so be warned." Fucking, stupid bastard.