Here we are, Second Thoughts. Yes, I'm still a Sasuhina fan- I would have changed my penname if I wasn't, but I did realize that I was writing every pairing besides this one, so I decided to include one-shot of said couple as part of the "I'm sorry for making you wait" package. Hope you like it. Enjoy. Also, I should tell you that this takes place during the first season, and that I don't own Naruto because then Sasuke wouldn't be bordering emo and dating Hinata.
Sasuke was never the type to second guess. In what he did, in what he planned, having second thoughts could possibly get you killed. He applied this concept to everything he had from his training to his battles to his feelings. Yes, even his feelings. As far as he was concerned things like love was something that would only hold him back while anger propelled him forward. That was why he had never even nursed the idea of dating Sakura, Ino, or any girl in his class. Well, that wasn't completely true.
Her name was Hinata Hyuuga, the heiress to the superior Hyuuga clan, and the only girl who didn't seem to pine for him. Sasuke wouldn't admit to having an attraction to her, but he was curious to say the least and that was even distracting. How was he suppose to avenge his clan when he was thinking about a girl who fawning for the idiot of the village? So Sasuke had squashed the idea, but it had a nasty habit of coming back and mocking him.
One such occasion was when the class was performing the tranformation jutsu exercise- again thanks to the idiot himself Naruto. When Sasuke went up, he knew every girl was eyeing him. Sasuke performed perfectly as always and went back in line without a second thought. After Naruto's name was called, he found himself looking down the line to see that Hinata was looking at Naruto the same way any other girl would look at him. Only it was- what was the word?- adorable. Sasuke shook his head. He couldn't afford to think on this.
Another time- well, three- was when the teams were to be assigned. Sasuke had allowed Naruto to sit next to him, and only ignored him afterwards. He had vaguely listened in on the conversation he and Shikamaru had about Naruto actually graduating and then Sasuke had felt that something was wrong. He glanced behind him and once again, saw Hinata gazing upon Naruto with a joy that made Sasuke's stomach clench, but he quickly dismmised that as him being hungry. It came back when Sakura had shoved Naruto out of his seat and asked Sasuke if he could sit next to him, which sparked the girl's population to argue over the precious spot. While Sasuke had thought them all useless, he couldn't help but notice that Hinata had not joined in the fray. Again, the feeling was only hunger, that came back a third time when he was placed in a team with Naruto and Sakura, and noticed the disappointed look on Hinata's face as she once again gazed at Naruto. Hunger, he reasoned and placed it out of his mind.
The fifth time was when Sasuke had to finally allow himself to admit that he wasn't curious or hungry or anything. He was attracted to Hinata. The moment happened on the day of the Chunin exams. The Rookie Nine had all gathered in one place, as always Sakura and Ino fought over him, and Naruto was arguing with someone- this one being Kiba. After Kiba's comment, Sasuke found himself inwardly growled when Hinata apologized for her teammate's remark, a scarlet blush on her pale skin. In that moment, Sasuke not only admitted to the attraction, but also asked the question: Why him and not me?
Afterwards, Sasuke had found himself always looking after her. Once a day, he would check on her from afar, holding back his jealous rage when he would find her watching Naruto. Whenever he was training or on a mission, Sasuke found himself thinking about her and it really sucked because he found himself having second thoughts. He wanted to come to her, to a chance, and he made sure that the idiot also got home because for now he was the most precious person to her, and he wanted to keep her happy. The injuries he substained from these were not easy to deal with as well as him admitting that he wasn't doing this out of attraction anymore, but out of love.
Having second thoughts were what held him back, were what got him killed. Sasuke would tell himself every night as he thought about her. So many times Sasuke had tried to squash these thoughts, but they kept coming back and frankly it hurt more than he wanted to admit.
It hurt even worse when he was given the opportunity to get what he wanted. Orchimaru had offerred the chance to finally obtain the power he had desired for years. Finally, Sasuke had found the road that would lead to him avenging his clan and kill his older brother Itachi. But again, he found himself having second thoughts because it meant leaving her.
Hinata, the girl that had somehow wormed somehow wormed her way into his heart and thoughts. The girl who didn't even know had earned the love of the Uchiha prodigy, and she didn't have to do much. Hinata, the girl who loved another; his best friend Naruto.
Sasuke stood beside her bed, his fingers gently stroking her dark blue hair that was softer than even her skin. She appeared peaceful, and beautiful.
If he left, Sasuke knew there was chance that he would never see this expression. When Sasuke was honest with himself, Sasuke had barely saw this expression already. At least, not directed towards him. Again a surge of jealousy had ran through him as he remembered Naruto. How could that idiot not know that he had earned the love of such a beautiful young woman? What had Naruto done that made her look at him with such admiration and joy?
"But he makes you happy either way," Sasuke whispered. He knelt down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She stirred only a little, "He makes you smile, so I can see past that..."
Her lips were slightly open and looked so soft, just like everything else about her. Sasuke couldn't help but lick his lips. Maybe he could. Naruto already her love and admiration, so why couldn't he have her first kiss.
"I love you," he whispered before placing his lips on hers in a gentle manner. He was right, they were soft and had a faint taste of cinamon- he was aware that cinamon buns was her favorite snack.
The kiss only lasted for a few seconds and Hinata again didn't wake. Sasuke's lips tingled and he found his stomach churning. This was why he refused to have second thoughts because he was afraid of moments like these. Choosing between something he had never expected to want and something he had always wanted, was not on his agenda, and yet...
"I have to do this," he was now telling himself as he again ran his finger down her cheek, "I have to..."
Hinata groaned lightly and shifted to her side. Sasuke had then decided to leave her alone. Before he lept from her window, Sasuke chanced one more look at her, and then, painfully squashed his feelings. As he met up with the Sound Five, Sasuke knew those feelings wouldn't stay down for long. They would come back and mock him like they always would. In the future he would once again have second thoughts about what he was doing, and wondering if he had made the right choices, And when those thoughts came back, he would squish them once more, again and again until he had done what he needed to do. Honestly, Sasuke had to admit that he looked forward to the days that he could finally allow those thoughts to grow and maybe pursue them.
Wow, again, not what I expected, but hey I started typing and it came out. By the way, does all inspiration come at 3 in the morning. Anyway, hoped you enjoy please tell me what you think.
