The Yu Yu Hakusho Awards Show
The Opening Ceremony
((Dear readers, for some godforbidden reason, pulled my story off the site! Some (bastard!) person turned me in to the authorities and accused me of using "chat/script" formatting. I guess I --am-- guilty of this, but I mean, how the heck am I supposed to write a humor fic without butchering the English language first???))
((Therefore, I'm giving it another shot and I will see if it will last the night. Don't hurt me please! ::Whimpers::))
Disclaimer::
Aubrey: I do not own any of the characters in this story!!
Hiei: And yourself?
Aubrey: Um... I'm owned by uh... THEM!! ::Points in some random direction::
Kurama: Uh... I don't see anybody...
Aubrey: Maybe you don't... but I do. They talk to me... They tell what to type in fanfics.
Kurama: Right...
Hiei: We're all gonna die.
Aubrey: Hi!! Welcome to the Yu Yu Hakusho Awards Show! I'm your cute host, Aubrey!!
Yusuke: We already know that. It says so right before you spoke.
Aubrey: ::Looks at name:: Oh...
Yusuke: You're not cute either.
Aubrey: What?! DIE!!! ::Bites Yusuke::
Yusuke: Auughhhh!!! What if you had rabies?!
Aubrey: Rabies? That might be fun...
Kurama: (Whispers) Don't give her any ideas...
Aubrey: Well as I was saying, on this show we have several categories and we'll see which of you people fit into the category the best and take home the gold!
Kuwabara: Okay!! I'm gonna walk out with the most awards here today! Don't over exert yourself trying to beat me, since I have all the best characteristics in the group.
Everyone: . . . ::Sweatdrop::
Aubrey: Um... well, I guess I'll list off the contestants! We have...
Yusuke! ::Applause::
"Kurama!" ::Applause::
"Hiei!" ::Applause::
"Botan!" ::Applause::
"Koenma!" ::Applause::
"Yukina!" ::More applause::
"And Kuwabara!" ::Silence:: ::Someone coughs:: ::Crickets chirping in the background::
Botan: Um well, yes! All right everyone let's get this show on the road! I'm sure each of us will win at least one award!
Hiei: Hn. Except maybe ugly here.
Kuwabara: Ugly? Who's the ugly one? ::Glance glance:: Is it you Urameshi?
Yusuke: No you moron, it's YOU!
Kuwabara: What?! You little shrimp you're gonna pay for insulting my lovely face! SPIRIT SWORD!!!
Hiei: Heh, pathetic mortal. ::Slides into martial arts stance::
Aubrey: Please guys!! Not on stage!
Kurama: Now Hiei, you can kill the ningen later.
Hiei: ::Glares at Kurama:: Well it's YOUR fault for making me come here Kurama!
Kurama: Well it's just for fun...
Hiei: Does it look like I'm having fun?
Yukina: P-Please don't fight here guys... I – I just don't want... to see you fight... ::whimper::
Hiei: . . . . . . . . . . ::Frustrated sigh:: Fine.
Kurama: ::Smile::
Keiko: Wow. If only Yusuke was that obedient.
Aubrey: Now that we've settled down... a little... I'll start off the first category: "Cutest Couple." Our nominees for this section are:
Yusuke and Keiko
Kuwabara and Yukina
Botan and Koenma
And ... ::hestitates:: uh—Kurama and Hiei... ((Just to tell you, this is not a yaoi fanfic, I just like to make fun of them.))
Kurama/Hiei: WHAT?!?!
Yukina: Wow I've never heard Kurama yell that loud before...
Koenma: I think you're missing the point Yukina-chan.
::Hiei and Kurama both grab Aubrey's shirt shaking her violently.::
Kurama: What was that last pairing???
Hiei: How the hell did I get paired up with HIM?!
Aubrey: It wasn't' me I SWEAR!! I just read the cue cards, please don't take a leaf out of Alexander the Great's book!!
Yusuke: What's that about Alexander?
Keiko: Alexander the Great would chop off the heads of messengers who brought bad news.
Yusuke: Oh... bummer.
Kurama: Who, then, coupled us up??
Hiei: I don't care who it was. I say she dies now.
Aubrey: It wasn't me! It wasn't me! It was THEM!!! ::Points to audience::
Hiei: Hn?
Kurama: Wha--?
Hiei and Kurama turn around to see an audience full of screaming fangirlz with posters of Hiei and Kurama kissing, holding hands, etc., along with banners and signs reading "Hiei and Kurama 4-Ever", "Kurama X Hiei", "Gay guys are hot", and the like.
Hiei: ::Eye twitches:: ::Grabs sword::
Kurama: I'LL KILL THEM!! I'LL KILL THEM ALL!!!
Botan: Kurama's lost it. This must be a first.
Keiko: Must be a sign of the Apocalypse. The world's gonna end.
Aubrey: Security! Security!
Fangirlz: Look at the two! They're so cute together!
Kurama and Hiei are within 5 feet of eachother... the begin to inch away.
Fangirlz: Awwww... look how close they are together!! They're pratically making out! ::Gasp:: I suddenly feel inspired to write yaoi fanfiction and twisted shonen-ai poems!!
Kuwabara: What's ya-oi?
Koenma: Errr... um... ask Yukina.
Kuwabara: Yukina, what's ya-o-i?
Yukina: Uhhhh ::blush:: Errrr... ::blush:: L-l-l-look it up...
Kuwabara: OKAY!! I thought I saw a computer terminal in the office! ::Runs off::
Kurama: ROSE WHIP!!!!
Hiei: FISTS OF THE MORTAL FLAME!!!!
Fangirlz: Oh... They're so dreamy...
Guys in black suits with M-16's run up and tackle Hiei and Kurama to the ground.
Aubrey: It's about time you got here!!! ::Looks at the two demons:: Please wait until the results are in before you kill anyone guys!
Kurama: ::Trying to regulate his breathing:: Err—Well—Grr... Okay. I suppose—I suppose she's right...
Hiei: Fine. ::Throws men off of him and sheathes his sword:: But if we win someone will die.
Everyone: ::sweatdrop:: ::inches away from Hiei slowly::
Botan: ::Has attention focused on Koenma:: Funny how we got paired up together, eh, Koenma?
Koenma: I thought our relationship was strictly business!! How did all these websites appear anyway!! ::Scanning the internet on a miniature computer::
Kuwabara: ::Is puking his guts out in some bathroom stall:: Why the hell did Yukina tell me to look up yaoi??? That is so wrong!!
Okay guys I need your help for this next chapter!!! Please review and tell me which couple should win, Yusuke x Keiko, Kuwabara x Yukina, Botan x Koenma, or Kurama x Hiei. You could of course make up your own couples... ::mumble mumble:: But I'd prefer if you would just stick to the script! Okies!! The next chapter depends on your reviews!
