Summary: A slight AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? Hints of NickGreg

Warnings: Some strongish language. Big spoilers for 'Play With Fire'. Might go into gory detail later on. Possible suicidal thoughts. Definite depression from Greggo. Major feelllsss! Hints of NickGreg, may turn to full NickGreg.

Author's Note: So to those of you how are reading my Numb3rs fic Charlie's Training just know that I haven't given up, but I just really needed to right this down while the ideas and inspiration was there.

This fanfic contains multiply POVs to try and explain my complicated thinking of what Greg should be thinking and doing. ENJOY!

Oh and PS reviews are always very lovely, but please no hate only advice. Also sorry if it's medically incorrect but I'm only doing my GCSEs so sorry about that.

Greg's POV

I was standing in my lab, trying to work out what that smell was. It smelt like burning plastic. I turned. Then it happened. The lab exploded, and with such force it sent me flying through the window and into my past.

There it was, the familiar sound of a bomb. The ringing burned in my ears, my back stung from the air and glass in my cuts, burns and scars, my whole body pleaded for me to stay down, but my mind screamed at me to jump up and run for my life.

I moved my hands by my face and tried to push myself up. I raised a little the first time, then hit the floor again. 'Come on! You have to get up Sanders!' I thought to myself, 'do you want to die here? In this God forsaken waste land?' That we what I needed. I pushed myself up, and this time managed to stand.

I could hear people screaming and yelling for help through the piercing ringing in my ears. I saw a woman on the floor. She had brown hair and brown eyes, so I assumed she was Kelly, one of the soldiers under my command. I staggered over to her.

I pulled her up, "get out of here now! Before another one blows!" I told her over the ringing I knew was in her ears too.

"Greg! Are you okay? You got thrown through a window! You need a paramedic!" she yelled back.

'window? What is she on about? There's no windows in the battle field. And since when does she call me Greg? She's always called me Sargent.' I thought to myself.

"Greg? It's me Sara! Are you okay?" She asked.

'Sara? Who the hell is Sara?' I thought 'Oh well. I can't deal with that right now'

"Get out of here now! And that's an order!" I yelled at her. With that she turned and left very slowly, with a very confused look on her face.

I turned again. 'Where's my gun?' I thought 'Urg! No time!' I stumbled through the, what looked like a hall or was it a crack in a valley?, and took a left. I used the was it a rock? Or a wall? For balance. An older man with brown (and slowly turning grey) hair and blue eyes spotted me. This made me assume it was another in my squad, my responsibility, Ethan.

"Greg!" he ran up to me and grabbed my shoulders, "oh my God. Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Do you know where the rest are?" I asked more concerned with my squad, "Where's Nicky?" I was referring to my best friend, Nickolas (Nicky) Smith.

"Yeah, the rest of the team are safe outside. Nicky's with them," he said, "now come on we need to get you to a hospital"

"No. I need to help. I need to get the rest away from here," I told him, expecting the man to listen.

"No. Everyone else is fine. You need medical attention now."

"You're sure everyone else is safe?"

"Yes they're fine," he told me as he put an arm around my lower waist, to avoid the burns and cuts, and put my arm around his shoulder.

We made our way outside towards some emergence ambulances, 'how the hell are there ambulances here?' I thought to myself.

All around, people I didn't recognise stared at me as we hobbled out. One man with brown, almost black, hair with brown eyes and a very muscular build ran up to us. I assumed he was Nicky, good old Nicky Smith, made friends with the boss.

"Greg! Greg man are you alright?" he asked me.

I nodded and looked around. I couldn't find him, the one I was looking for, the one I cared most about, "where is he Nicky?" I asked him.

"Who?" he asked.

I frowned 'how could he ask me that!' I thought. "You know damn well who! Where is he?!" I grabbed his shoulders.

"I honestly don't know who you're talking about," he told me.

"Tommy. I'm talking about Tommy. Where the hell is he?!" I almost yelled the last part.

"Who's Tommy?" he asked as he grabbed my shoulders.

"No," I breathed. My head was spinning, swirling, furling at a million miles an hour. I hurt like hell everywhere, I could hardly breathe from smoke inhalation and this was defiantly not making it any better. 'What the hell is going on here'. My head hurt too much, there were too many new people here, they were all too disobedient, it was all too much. My head began to pound as people kept yelling at me, only I couldn't hear them over the buzzing in my ears. But it wasn't from the explosion. I could feel the familiar sensation of darkness creeping in. My vision was turning white, bright white, again too white. My hearing was lost to the buzzing and then I realised what was happening. My breathing quickened, it was fast, too damn fast, I couldn't breathe. I moved my hands off Nicky's shoulders and grabbed my head. I clenched my teeth. I couldn't stop my head from spinning or my vision from fading nor the loss of hearing. And then it happened. Everything was white. And then black, so, so black. Too black.

Sara's POV

I was just walking down the hall, just trying to follow Grissom. When I gave up, that's when it happened. I didn't hear it, I barely felt it. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was a force like a truck hitting me. I hit the floor and then my brain caught up with what happened. It was a bang. A very loud bang, one which I recognised as an explosion. I flew into the wall and was forced to the ground. I cut my hand on the glass, but it was fine, I was fine. If only the ringing would stop.

I looked up and saw Greg. I had partially seen him get blown through a window. He was trying to get up, 'oh God Greg!' I thought. I had a cut on my hand and wasn't even trying to get up, but here was Greg with glass sticking out of him and trying to get up. And then he did, but instead of going straight for a medic, he came for me.

He staggered over to me and pulled me up, "get out of here now! Before another one blows!" he told me over the ringing in both our ears.

'What does he mean another on?' I thought, then focused on the matter at hand, "Greg! Are you okay? You got thrown through a window! You need a paramedic!" I yelled back, panic lasing my voice.

I could see a frown appear on his face. He was taking too long to answer. 'Oh God! What if he hit his head? Is he okay? He looks too confused!' I thought.

"Greg? It's me, Sara! Are you okay?" I double checked.

He seemed to look more confused when I mentioned my name.

"Get out of here now! And that's an order!" he yelled at me.

'Since when did he give orders' I thought. I turned and left very slowly, with a very confused look on my face. I knew he wasn't going to leave until I did so I just did what he said.

Grissom's POV

I was just standing in my office, talking with a colleague. When I heard it. The smash of shattering glass, then the fire alarms, and then the panic. I had only just closed my door, 'what could have happened so fast?' I thought. I moved back over to my door. The lab was a mess - glass, paper and evidence everywhere. I stepped into the hall.

Archie and Nick jogged past me.

"Whoa, Nick, what happened?" I called after them.

They turned and walked back, "I don't know. Archie and me were just standin' there, when boom. This happened," Nick explained.

"Okay. Get outside both of you. Help anyone you see on your way, I'm gonna go that way and try to clear the building," I told them. They nodded, turned and left.

I went from room to room for a bit, clearing the two nearest my office. I turned to look in the way of Greg's lab, 'Crap! How could I have not checked on Greg first! His lab is obviously the centre'. I was just about to run to Greg's aid when a hunched figure appeared. They put a hand on the wall and continued down towards me.

"Greg!" I yelled as I released who it was. I ran up and grabbed his shoulders, "oh my God. Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Do you know where the rest are?" he asked obviously more concerned with something else, "Where's Nicky?" I knew Nick and Greg were interested in each other, they confided that much in me, although I had never heard Greg call him Nicky.

"Yeah, the rest of the team are safe outside. Nicky's with them," he said, "now come on we need to get you to a hospital"

"No. I need to help. I need to get the rest away from here," he told me, somehow he expected me to listen to that insane reasoning.

"No. Everyone else is fine. You need medical attention now."

"You're sure everyone else is safe?"

"Yes they're fine," I told him as I put an arm around his lower waist, to avoid the burns and cuts, and put his arm around my shoulder.

We made our way outside towards some EMT ambulances, he seemed a bit confused but I really couldn't blame him.

Nick's POV

After speaking with Grissom, Archie and I started to leave the building helping all the injured we could find. I made it outside and got checked on quickly by a paramedic. I was then waiting for Greg, sweet innocent Greg, who's lab I thought was the epicentre of it all. And then I saw him, as he hobbled out with Grissom. Everyone stared. He looked like he was in a warzone. He had glass sticking out of him and all over his clothes, with several visible burns. He looked severely confused, he only seemed to recognise me, and even then he looked unsure.

"Greg! Greg man are you alright?" I asked as I ran up to him.

He nodded, distracted. He looked around, confused. He couldn't find something, something important, "where is he Nicky?" he asked me.

"Who?" I asked.

He frowned and looked as though I just killed his puppy. He grasped my shoulders, "You know damn well who! Where is he?!"

"I honestly don't know who you're talking about," I told him.

"Tommy. I'm talking about Tommy. Where the hell is he?!" he almost yelled the last part.

"Who's Tommy?" I asked and grabbed his shoulders. I was very worried now.

"No," he breathed.

Greg went deathly pale and looked scared, angry, confused and dead all at once. It shook me to my core as he just zoned out.

"Greg?" I asked. Nothing. "Greg?" I tried again. Still nothing.

"Greg!?" Grissom tried louder. Nothing

Then Sara. Blank. Then Archie. Zip. Then Jacqui. Nada. We all tried again and again. But with no luck. I was just about to call a medic over, thinking he'd gone into shock when he started hyperventilating. He tightened his grasp on my shoulders, I didn't even know he had that kind of strength. We all tried to calm him down, but to no avail.

Then he removed his death grip on me and grabbed his head, he clenched his teeth and groaned. He shut his eyes, then went limp and fell into my arms.