Hey peeps!

This is my new story, and if you are new to my writing please go check out my other story, 'Strong Emotions'.

So, this is set between Tobias and Tris's initiation, and will be Eric/OC.

Quick note - whilst this story is rated T, there will be mentions of abuse, and though I will not go into detail, it will be brought up frequently as it is important to the story lines. If this is triggering to you, please don't read it. If there are any questions don't hesitate to PM me.

Anyway, enjoy!

ANNA

Anna. His voice runs through my head. Your parents would have wanted you to be the best Amity you could be.

I scrunch up my face in disgust at the sound of his voice echoing around my head. Lies, all of them. My parents were good people and I know for fact that they would not want the way I've been treated.

Alexander is not an Amity man - he doesn't deserve to even be called Amity. I was once proud to be one, hugging trees, each other and all that, but now I resent the constant good mood that the Amity are in. Every faction has their faults - the Erudite are vain, the Candor are rude, the Abnegation are passive and the Dauntless are cruel. One fault for every faction, except I can find many more in the Amity beliefs. The Amity are kind and caring in nature, but also ignorant and negligent. They ignore those who don't fit in and praise those who do – and if you are to misbehave, stand up for yourself for once in a while you're stuck with a needle full of happy juice. Despite they're close relation to Abnegation, the Amity don't help those who need it. They are too full of their pride – although they would say that such a thing doesn't exist – and don't accept anyone who is different. They would't help you if you weren't of benefit to them.

The Amity can also be abusive.

I almost laugh out loud at how ludicrous that sentence sounds. The words 'abusive' and 'Amity' just don't work well together. Who would think that an Amity, filled to the brim on happiness would even think about harming someone?

Not all Amity are kind. It's stupid to belive that we are the only two that don't fit in our faction, after all, I'm sure someone else must be different, but Alexander and certainly don't act the way Amity are meant to act. He lacks the compassion that is expected of him as an Amity and I certainly don't approve of the docile behaviour that all Amity live by. However the Amity, in their negligent ways, don't even pick up on the fact that something is wrong.

The choosing ceremony is already in full swing. Sitting at the very edge of the sea of red, Alexander and I do not talk, not in the way that most Amity would. He has spent almost forty years here and still doesn't know how to express any form of kindness, at least to me, yet still manages to find very creative ways of expressing his rage.

I watch as 'McLeay, Harvey' from Candor picks Erudite. My faction sits right next to Dauntless and as I let my attention drift away from the ceremony I look over to them. I envy the way that they don't have to have permanent smiles etched on their faces – and if not a real smile then a fake one – and how they would be allowed to be openly upset if they wanted to. The Dauntless have the kind of freedom I don't in the stifiling Amity compound.

A boy that looks around my age – maybe a year or so older – catches my eye. His skin is tan and his black hair is cropped. His brown eyes light up jovially when they meet mine, and when he smiles, I see I see dimples appear. I am taken aback with shock - nobody ever smiles at me, even the Amity, who have taken to pretending I don't exist. And Amity isn't the only faction that ignores me, but then, I can't exactly blame the other four. I'm not part of them - I wouldn't fit in with them. Every now and again I have fantasized that someone from Dauntless would discover my situation, or at least notice me, maybe raise me with them. Although my fantasies remain just that – fantasies – and I stay put as the girl who hovers around the edge of the Amity compound until she has to go in, throwing stones into puddles.

But somehow the Dauntless boy still smiles, and I wonder what he got in his aptitude test. Did he get Amity? The Amity smile a lot. He would fit right in. Or did he get Dauntless and Amity?

Is he Divergent?

Of course not. I scold myself. The test administrator said that Divergence is very rare.

I jump a bit when I hear Jeanine Matthews call out my name.

"Smith, Anna." I recoil when I hear Smith. That's not my name. It's his name. The Amity thought it would be easier after my parents' death if I changed my surname. Technically, it was supposed to be my choice whether I changed my surname or not – but like Alexander would allow that. My surname was promptly changed to his and he became my adoptive father. Like I would consider any man other than my birth father a parent of mine.

He turns in his seat and gives me a hard glare, his shoulders back and his chest out. His size and expression are just scare tactics – and I know he won't hurt me here – but I still find myself cowering a little. The look on his face clearly says choose Amity.

I get up and start to walk to the front, dragging my feet as I walk. My soft brown hair falls over my face and covers it from view, and I use the time to wonder - what faction will I choose? I haven't had the chance to put much thought into it, because after the test I was too shocked to think as I walked home and thinking about what faction you want to choose seems pretty strange while your back is being littered with the imprint of a belt.

I was told I got more than one result. Amity, Erudite... and Dauntless. It was called divergence and supposedly it's a threat to the faction system, therefore incredibly dangerous. I figured I might get Amity – having had their views forced on me since birth, but it's not as if I would actually fit in here.

There is no choice for me – I cannot pick Amity.

Then there is Erudite. The test administrator told me that being under the scrutinizing eye of Jeanine Matthews would be a terrible idea – that I would be identified as Divergent almost immediately by the way I acted. She said she didn't know what would happen if they found out, but I get the feeling she didn't want to scare me. Apparently Amity are easily scared.

Finally, Dauntless. I yearn for their freedom, but I can't help but question myself. If I am not brave enough to make a choice for myself, would I be brave enough to pass Dauntless initiation? To survive there? Am I a coward for wanting to leave Amity because I am scared of one of the men there?

Yet I could get into Dauntless. I could act brave until I actually was – and working in the farms all the time has given me muscle. I could hold my own, hopefully. I wouldn't even need to fit in with them. Almost a lifetime of solitude has gotten me adjusted to working alone, so it's not as if I would need any friends. I think that maybe I could give it a go?

I pick up the knife presented on front of me, hating the cold feel of the metal in my hand – hating the feeling of power that comes with it. I could hurt people with this – hurt them like Alexander hurt me because they did't pay enough attention to help. I could... if I wanted to.

Resenting the knife and myself I draw it across my palm, watching as a thin trail of blood trickles off my hand. It lands with a sizzle on the smouldering coals and before Jeanine speaks I hear her take in a sharp breath

"Dauntless!"

Multiple gasps could be heard throughout the auditorium, but I don't focus on anyone other than Alexander. He looks shocked, his dark blue eyes looking almost black in this lighting. Shadows play across his face and he looks even more dangerous than ever – but for once, I don't care. I'm free of him.

Part of me is tempted to smile at him, to show him that he doesn't scare me anymore. I don't, instead I change my gaze to the Dauntless faction – my faction – who are cheering loudly for their new initiate. Me. I finally have somewhere where I don't have to be scared every night when I go home.

I join the Dauntless in their seating area and don't pay attention for the rest of the choosing ceremony. One string of words runs through my head:

I am free.

Once it is finished, the Dauntless rise first and start to run out the building. I run with them, and as I do I observe my fellow initiates.

Two Candor males. They look fairly strong, but I still think that with some training I could be better. I don't worry about them as competition, but judging by the proud and smug expression on their faces I think they will be some to look out for. One Candor female who doesn't look like she'll fit in here at all. She runs like a wounded animal and has a fearful expression on her face. There are two Erudite, one male and on female. I don't think that they'll do particularly badly due to the determined looks on their faces, but I don't think physical strength is their forte.

I join the Dauntless as we climb the railings of the train tracks, and I am the first initiate to be up. I know what happens next – I like to watch the Dauntless. Especially after choosing ceremonies, the transfers always leave half of themselves behind at this part. But there isn't many of us this year, only six if you include me. Last year three people were left behind in an attempt to jump onto the train. I hope that happens this year because then I'll have very little competition.

The train comes along and the crowd of black start pulling themselves on with ease. The muscles in my arm aids me as I grab the handle and swing myself into the cart. Although it isn't big, the amount of muscle I have had already put me at an advantage over the other initiates and I would like to keep it that way.

"Hi there." The Erudite girl says to me. I bet she expects me to talk to her, as my baggy red clothing stands for more than I am. I think for now I won't make friends with these people. If any of us were to have fail – either me or them – the ending would be painful and I don't need any more pain in my life. I'll wait until my life in Dauntless is secure before I even consider making friends.

I ignore her and walk to the other side of the cart. I notice that the Dauntless boy who smiled at me is in this cart too.

I wonder how Alexander is reacting right now. After years of coming home from school every day dreading the belt – which was always worse when he was drunk – I feel no sympathy for that man. I left him out of necessity, because one day I would do something that in his eyes was so wrong, I would end up dead in the orchard. I can't let that happen.

I know that if I were to turn home right now, that day would probably be today and I'd be dead within the hour.

That man did not break me. Here I am now, part of Dauntless and more alive than I've ever been.

I close my eyes and try to relax, but as soon as I do I regret it.

"Run, Anna!" My father shouts. "Run and get help!"

I open my eyes again quickly. I mustn't remember – not now, not now when I've just started a new life. I can't let my thoughts torment me as I ride away from my old life.

But the memories persist and I try so hard to not let them swarm my mind but they do, and all I am left thinking about is how my house burst into flames, how my mother screamed for me to go get help, how I ran to a random man for help and when he did nothing how I lay down helplessly and cried. That man I now know is Alexander, and there is nothing he could do to me that could be worse than what I do to myself because of what I did. It's my fault – I should have gotten help elsewhere and maybe I could have prevented them dying.

When I feel the tears prick at my eyes I blink them away. Crying is not worth my time anymore.

"They're jumping!" The Erudite girl cries suddenly and I whip round to where she stands. I follow her gaze out the door of the train and see the Dauntless jumping onto a roof. It makes sense, really. It seems like something Dauntless would do. I notice the large gap between the tracks and the roof, but force myself not to think about it. The height frightens me a little, but I'm not afraid of the fall. I am not scared of dying. It wouldn't be that bad... in fact, ridding the world of my sorry existance would probably be like de-weeding a garden. I'm certainly not suicidal, and I don't have a particular wish for death, but I don't really have much to live for anyway. No, I would never commit suicide, although I can guess a lot of people in my situation would. Amity never talk about it, but I learned it from the books in the school library. I would never give Alexander the satisfaction of me killing myself – and I want to see the day his secrets are exposed and he is cast out.

Not that I want people to know about what he did to me – that would make me seem weak and as I am already from Amity, I don't need to seem any weaker.

I jump as far as I can, and for a second I feel pure weightlessness. It's blissful, and as I sail through the air I let out a small laugh.

Landing rather ungracefully on the stoney ground, I tumble forward a little then notice that I jumped further than the rest of the initiates – and some Dauntless members. I smile – it may be small but it's my first achievement here and I want to savour that.

"That's some jump you've got there, hippie." A male voice speaks up behind me. I turn to see familiar brown eyes and tan skin – the guy from the choosing ceremony.

I nod in acknowledgement but move away quickly before he can strike up a conversation. People don't need to know me, they just need to appreciate I am here.

"Initiates. This is where we test whether you really belong with us, or with the Factionless. Take the jump and we will see whether you are a coward, or whether you are Dauntless." A man stands on the ledge, cropped dark blonde hair and a cold face. He has multiple piercings all over and tattoos run up his neck and arms and is very muscular and tall. He could be handsome, if he looked less mean.

"My name is Eric." He says. "Who will be the first jumper?"

They want us to jump? Of the edge of the Goddamn building?

I want to say no. Flat out refuse to do what they ask – it seems stupid to die in such a way. Jumping off a building because some guy told you to.

Although... reason clears past the fear in my mind and I realise that they wouldn't just tell us to jump if they wanted to kill us. They could easily do that in other ways. Besides, what if they most promising initiate decided to go first – then the Dauntless would end up losing someone with potential.

I walk up to the wall and glare Eric in the eyes. He just raises and eyebrow.

He steps back as I climb up onto the wall and without even looking down, I jump.

I don't know how long I fall for, and I don't know if I will meet certain death at the bottom but in this moment, I couldn't care less. It's like when I jumped of the train - the feeling of weightlessness and the rush of adrenaline in my veins making me feel almost invincible. I don't want it to end.

I land too soon, sooner than I would like, but when I do, I feel excruciating pain in my back and for a second I believe it is a trick. A stupid joke to see which one of the transfers was stupid enough to jump off a roof. But then I feel the wires or a net digging into the fresh wounds on my back and I hiss through pain. A hand pulls down one side of the net and I begin to roll off, biting my lip to stop myself crying out in pain whenever my back touches the net.

"What's your name, initiate?" I look up at where the deep voice came from and see a man with brown hair, dark blue eyes and a long nose glaring down at me.

It occurs to me then that I could be more than just Anna, the abused Amity transfer. I could be remade here – have a new name and everything. A new identity.

No. A little voice in my head says. Stick with the name your parents gave you – they were the only ones that cared about you. No one does now, so remember those who did.

"Anna." I say quietly.

"First jumper, Anna!" The man calls out.

"I don't believe it. A hippie as the first jumper? Four, you're going to have a tough time deciphering this one." The man – Four – doesn't respond to the girl. Instead he goes back towards the net where a bundle of black and white falls in screaming.

I take a look around the room we're in – if it could even be called that. It resembles a cave mostly, with sharp rocks poking out the walls and dirt beneath my feet. Sound reverberates every time anyone speaks, echoing far down into the dimly lit corridor that leads out of here.

Soon enough, every initiate has jumped. We all group together as Four begins to talk.

"Welcome to Dauntless. My name is Four, and this is Lauren." Out of the corner of my eye, I can see one Candor transfer raise his eyes. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything and I can guess why – you'd be insane to call out this terrifying Dauntless on his strange name.

"Dauntless borns, with me. I'm assuming you don't need a tour of the compound." Lauren says and leads them off along a thin corridor. Four starts to walk off along another and we start to follow him like blind birds helplessly following their mother. We're pathetic, and I doubt the Dauntless will like that. I don't think they'll want to spoon feed us along the way. If we are to be brave, we must do things ourselves.

The corridor we walk along soon breaks into a large space, a very large space actually. At the top is a glass roof but at the bottom there is a sea of black. Fights break out here and there, others sip bottles with their friends and some children run around pushing and shoving each other. It's fantastic, something about Dauntless chaos makes me forget about everything that happened before I got here. It's like my life started here, and up until now the rest has been of little importance.

"This is the pit. The centre of life here in Dauntless. You will spend most of your free time here." He walks us through the pit and I notice the crowd parts when he walks. Others have to push and shove their way through, but it's like they have some sort of really huge fear or loads or respect for him. I didn't think that the Dauntless had levels of respect at all. I guess that us transfer initiates are at the bottom, then.

We make our way out of the pit and I start to hear a noise, like running water. I frown and move to the front of the group. The noise gets louder gradually, until you can no longer hear yourself think.

"This is the chasm!" Four shouts above the sound of rushing water. I pear over the edge and see rocks shining and reflecting the dull lights in the corridor. I can't see any water but there must be some down there.

"This is where we draw the line between bravery and idiocy! A daredevil jump into the chasm will end your life instantly! It has happened before and will happen again, consider yourself warned!" Four shouts.

The rest of the transfers look scared, or bewildered, but I am intrigued. I want to find out why some Dauntless members chuck themselves over the edge. And how far is the drop? I doubt any living person could tell me.

Four walks off and we scramble to follow him. He stops at a door and clears his throat so that we all pay attention, although we were all doing so anyway. "This is where you'll be sleeping. Before you ask, boys and girls. There is ten beds, but you won't have a problem deciding where to sleep as there's only five of you." Well someone's not an Erudite. Can't he tell there's six? I look around the group and notice that there is indeed one missing. Four would have noticed if one of us had been left behind, so it must have been before we met him. I take it someone didn't survive the jump, and by the looks of it, it was the Erudite girl.

It doesn't bother me that she spoke to me not long before her death. But maybe she isn't dead? Maybe she didn't jump and is now riding the train into factionless.

"Get changed. I'll meet you in the cafeteria." He ushers up into the room.

"But we don't know where that is!" One of the Candor boys shouts.

"Well ask someone, you are expected to be an independent person." Four replies coldly.

The room is just as badly lit as what I have seen of the rest of the compound so far, and the black bunk beds make the room seem even darker. Ten beds, five bunking pairs. Everyone could have their own bunk bed. But the Candor boys decide to share, the Candor girl taking the one next to them and the Erudite boy taking the next. That leaves two bunks left, and I pick the one furthest away from them. I don't want to interact. People aren't trustworthy. I have also been known to thrash about in my sleep a bit whenever I get nightmares – either of my parents' death or anything to do with Alexander.

I wait for them to change to I can undress without risk of them seeing my bruises or my back, or the lines that litter my thighs from where he cut me. I look a mess, with my back covered in bumpy white lines and my stomach black and blue and my thighs striped.

I look in a mirror at my face, because looking at my body will probably distress me. My long brown hair flows down to my chest and my green eyes look bright. Before people started ignoring me, I was told I was pretty quite a lot, which was nice, but their compliments were disregarded thanks to Alexander's harsh words. I ended up ignoring them.

I dress in the tight Dauntless clothing and leave the room.

Okay!

I don't know how that was, please leave a review and give your opinion! It will get better, I swear. I don't want her to be a loner for the whole of initiation.

Soo…

Peace out!