Chapter 1

There was something about his look that said that he was uncomfortable. His jaw was set, his eyes, forward on the road, and unyielding. He couldn't even look at me. And that last part, killed me.

"Booth, look…"

"Bones, how could you do that? How could you keep him in your home and not tell me? I have rebuilt my relationship with Max too."

""I knew that you were not fond of him after arresting him and having to testify at his murder trial. But since he was acquitted, I did not think those feelings changed."

His face remained stoic, but his hand gripped mine over the center console. I knew he was starting to soften. His eyes remained cold, but his jaw relaxed as he spoke.

"I care for you more than anything, Bones, and I hope you know that. But you cannot keep him i your apartment and not tell me. He almost beat me to death with a baseball bat." His casual laugh made it much easier to tell him the next thing.

"Booth, look, there is something we need to talk about, something big, and I need you to listen completely at first."

"Bones, what's wrong, are you sick? Did Max hurt you? Did someone else hurt you? Does Angela know? What's going on?" as Booth panics, a new sense of caring washes over me, in an instant he is opening my car door and leading me towards my apartment.

"Booth, again, I need you to listen to me. Don't question what I am saying because if I don't tell you now, I might explode."

"Well Bones, you know, that is physically impossible considering that a person cannot combust nevertheless explode. You taught me that." He responded with a charm smile.

My heart softened, yet again. The charm smile he uses on me, since the beginning, 5 years ago, still makes me melt inside, even though I know it is scientifically impossible. I still cannot help but love this man with all parts of my being, even though love is a chemical signaling, not a feeling from the heart. But Booth has made me change my views on love, marriage, and most importantly trust. As I am fishing out my keys, he already has my door open and is pulling my bag off of my shoulder. Booth helps me out of my coat and turns on the light in the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything, Bones?"

"No, but help yourself, I am going to get changed real quick, and then we must talk."

I peel off layer after layer of clothing, because after that stint in jail, I need to throw out these clothes. I change into Booth's old black FBI t-shirt and his sweats. I'll never concede to him that I sleep in them. But his smell is embedded in it, and that smell makes me feel safe.

"Booth, can you sit down on the couch, and get comfortable, it's going to be a long night."

"Alrighty Bones, whatever you say."

I sit down on the couch, crossing my legs and zipping up the sweatshirt to cover up most of the logo on his shirt. He catches my action and starts to zip it back down. His eyes widen and the corners of his mouth turn up at the sight of me in his shirt.

"Wow, Bones, I was wondering where my shirt went."

"Okay, don't worry about the shirt, I'll wash it for you later. But I need to talk, and you need to listen."

"I am all ears Bones."

I open up my mouth to talk, and the words escape me. My emotions start flowing out before I can even say a word, and he can see that in my eyes. I want to launch into the very ending and forget all the other formalities, just so I can see his reaction. But I need to do this the right way, and skipping everything else, all the good and bad, was wrong.

"There was something missing from my life when I met you. I had very few friends other than those I worked in close contact with. There was never anyone who cared enough about my wellbeing before you. That's why I compartmentalize so well. I shut myself off and assume that everyone's agenda is to hurt me."

Booth goes to open his mouth, but I put my finger on his lips. He quickly grabs my hand for emotional support. But in order to focus, I pull away.

"When you first showed up 5 years ago, I hated you. And I'll be completely honest. You made me feel. You made me experience emotion at its height. And that scared me. As I got to know you better and how you work, I got attached. I found myself wanting to call you or text you all the time. I became infatuated. And it wasn't because you were "Sex on Legs" as Angela dubbed it."

"I could no longer compartmentalize as good as before. When you got shot in the Checkerbox, not long ago, my world unraveled. All that I had known, was gone. And you know how I am. I like things to be constant. And you were that one constant. And all that was gone, you were dead, and my life was heading for trouble. I fell into a deep depression, and I wanted nothing more than to see you again. My brain was working on overdrive. But my heart, was breaking apart. I will be the first person to concede that scientifically, it could not happen, but because of you, and what you taught me, I knew my heart was breaking."

I look up at Booth, only to see a tears running down his face. I cupped his face with my hands and wiped the tears away with my thumbs. I needed to finish, and I was almost done. My heart was racing, and his was too as I put my hand to his chest. Directly beneath his shirt, I knew was the scar from the Checkerbox shooting.

"When you came back, from the dead, metaphorically, I was pissed. Royally pissed. My trust was shot, and my heart was just starting to cope with your death. Seeing you was essentially like electrocuting me. I was in shock. But I was more than happy to see you again. I realized, that after that, there was something in my heart that could never let you go again. And this is where my heart takes over for my brain."

I take a deep breath in and hold it. This I know, is the moment of truth, and if he doesn't feel the same way, my heart may break again.

"Booth, this is your doing. You made me feel with my gut and my heart. I have to tell you something." His eyes were totally focused on mine, and as I stared down into his chocolate eyes, I knew he predicted what I was going to say. "I feel, yes feel, that this is a mutual emotion. I love you Booth, with every bone in my body, with every fiber in my neurons, with every chemical signal in my brain. I love you."

"Bones…"