This Hello is Only Goodbye
Summary: Baki knew he would never get anywhere with his soulmates. One, the Head of T&I, was much too… well… himself to ever possibly want to be with him. The other was much too… herself to ever want to be tied down to someone like him. And that was okay. Baki had grown up alone- he'd be fine living the rest of his life alone. He had his own life to live, responsibilities he could not shun. Soulmates or not, he wasn't about to leave Suna.
~..~..~
When he had been born, it had been into a rather well accommodated and respected clan on the outskirts of Sunagakure. It had been a clan that had been known for being extremely proficient in the use of wind style ninjutsu and keeping their unique culture alive, even through years of wars that had threatened with wiping them out. The marks each member of his clan bore had represented their status within the clan itself and the colors had shown off what jobs they had been born to work in.
Baki couldn't remember what many of the colors had meant. Nor could he remember just how many colors were used or what kinds of designs were given to newborns. He could just remember that the red on his face resembled the courage and passion that every ninja needed within their hearts to be successful in their lives. And he knew that the curving fang marks on his face had allowed him to be marked as the sixth son of the Clan Head's right hand man, for there were six all around his face.
Now, Baki was the only survivor of his once prosperous clan.
He had been a mere four year old when they'd been wiped out by a raid from an opposing clan from further out in the desert. And he had only been spared because his brothers had hidden him and his older sister within a locked closet that could only be opened from the inside, which had been reinforced by seals that Baki still could not understand to this day.
Baki had watched as all four of his older brothers were slaughtered by insane cowards without being able to even cry. Because if he had cried, they would have known that he was there, and then he would have gotten killed too. And then his brothers' sacrifice would have been for nothing; their deaths would have been completely senseless.
He remembered that night so vividly he felt it was a curse. No matter how much he lived, no matter how much he saw, no matter how much he tried to forget, that was still the only real intact memory he held of his clan. The rest were snippets, fogged and clouded with age; mere flashes of the people he had once shared blood with.
After the slaughter had ceased and they had hidden within that closet for what had felt like a week, his sister had decided it was time to leave.
Under the cover of night, they had scrounged up what little they could that had not been covered by the blood of their clansmen. And then they had fled, running as fast as they had been able out of fear that the clan of savages would return to make sure there truly had been no survivors of the great massacre.
When they reached Suna, they were both severely dehydrated and malnourished. His sister was covered in more red than was healthy because she had used what little clothes they had been able to find to cover Baki up and keep him safe from the scorching sun.
Her great fear had been that Suna would turn them away for having been refugees. At that time, Suna wasn't too stable to speak of. They were trying to gain some sort of power within the hierarchy system that were the Hidden Villages. So their political issues were so pressing that she had thought they would not want them anywhere near Suna; they weren't truly members of the Hidden Village, just members of a clan that had aided every once in a while.
They had gotten lucky, though.
The moment they had reached the Village Gates, the Kazekage's wife and son had happened to walk in front of them, apparently on their usual weekend walk.
If it had not been for the chance meeting, Baki knew he and his sister would have been sent back to the desert to die.
The brown haired boy that had clung to his mother's hand as she raced towards him and his sister was named Rasa. And Baki would never forget how kind he had once been. Nor would he ever forget how horribly the pressure of his village had twisted his sanity.
The Kazekage had taken them in simply because his wife would not let the business lie. And then, when his sister had told him about the horrors the clan of savages had unleashed on their clansmen, he had just dismissed her and told her that the massacre had already occurred- nothing they did now would change that.
"But, father… If they were able to wipe out their clan, wouldn't they be able to cause major damage to Suna? After all, these were some of our finest ninja."
Rasa had always had a great mind for getting whatever he wanted.
After those words had struck a chord within the old man, the clan of savages had been hunted down like the criminals they had been.And those that had not surrender to Suna were executed, much too mercilessly, in Baki's mind. The children, though, had been spared and sent to Suna's orphanages so they could be trained to become proper ninja
A couple of weeks after the clan of savages had been dealt with, Baki's sister died. She had been horribly affected by the unprotected trek across the desert, just as she'd been decimated by the death of her whole clan. Baki had once heard the Kazekage and his wife whispering about how what had killed her had not been a physical ailment, but an emotional one. And the only thought that brought him any solace whenever he thought about the wonderful soul that had been lost because of disgusting brutes was that at least she had not had to suffer through a life without her clan or soulmate for too long.
Soon after he'd been legally adopted by the Kazekage and became Rasa's brother, Baki was taught the first lesson he would never forget under the Kazekage's tutelage.
"Soul marks are not to be shown off. Find a way to cover it up."
Baki was different. His clan had not cared. The Kazekage had, though. And the person he would strive to make proud for the rest of his life was the man that had never even wanted him.
Not only was one soul mark long enough that it reached just below his eye; it began where the second one ended.
Baki had two soulmates.
On his back, just reaching his right shoulder, was a roaring bear. Surrounding the bear was what Baki could only describe as a long snake with its tail wrapped around the large animal's arm. Its body then ran up to his bicep, reached to his neck, and finally ended below his eye. Unlike Kankuro's snake, it was much bigger and did not look nearly as terrifying. If anything, it looked mischievous.
While the bear was easily hidden, the snake was not. And the Kazekage refused to have any one related to him- even if just by legal matters- to have his soul mark seen by anybody but himself and his soulmates.
To hide it, the Kazekage's wife offered the headdress Baki still wore to this day.
Baki wasn't the kind of person to rely on hopes and dreams when the going got tough. Instead, he was the kind of person that would think logically about many of the things that were happening around him to try and find the best solution to the problem or problems he faced.
This reasonable approach was exactly what he would be using to deal the problem he had met.
Just as Kankuro and Temari had found their soulmates, Baki had met one of his own.
Ibiki Morino. The most terrifying interrogator to ever have lived; the only person to ever survive the torture given to him by the monsters that had slaughtered hundreds through the very methods Morino had survived; the one man Lord Rasa had insisted Baki should run from if ever they met on the battlefield… His soulmate.
Well… It made sense that Baki would wind up with a dangerous soulmate. His life had not been filled with extremely pleasant ordeals… It would only be odd if the situation with his soulmate was even moderately easy. Which it clearly wouldn't be: he had two. One soulmate from Konoha made his situation difficult enough, not even counting who the man happened to be. Having two just made sure that Baki's extremely difficult life would continue being borderline disastrous.
"You're my soulmate."
Baki raised his chin slightly, a small movement that was enough like a nod to allow Ibiki to know that he, indeed, was the man's soulmate.
The scarred man's eyes were narrowed, looking him up and down with an analytically closed off look on his face that made Baki immediately lament this being his soulmate.
They would never work out. Not even as friends. Baki enjoyed silence, hard work, and not being annoyed. Ibiki looked like the kind of person that enjoyed those very things, but he was a sadist. And, from the way he was looking him over; he was full of pride within himself. Baki didn't like egos that were too big. And Ibiki's must be one of the biggest ones around- how could it not be? He was the boogeyman most parents warned their kids about whenever they spoke about not getting captured by a ninja from Konoha.
Baki didn't have much of a right to think like this of Ibiki's reputation, though. Not with the one he proudly wore as if it were a badge of honor.
In his mind, it was a bad to truly be proud of. The reputation he had was unpleasant and spoke of him being much crueler than he truly was. But it kept people from other Hidden Villages fearing him. And if ninja from other Villages feared him, then they feared Suna. And that ensured his own home's protection.
He only put up with Lord Rasa's overbearing and dominating (tragically damning) pride because he'd known the man since they had been children. Attitudes from other people were attitudes he did not deal with.
Baki allowed himself to be stared at for a couple more seconds. Then he bowed and straightened up, "It was an honor to meet you. But, if you'll excuse me, I must go."
His students were leaving without him. Kankuro was walking away with the proctor of the semi-finals; Gaara and Temari were making their way to their respective soulmates.
Lord Rasa wouldn't be happy to hear that all of his kids had soulmates from Konoha. The man may believe that soulmates were supposed to be together, but he certainly would not be happy with losing all of his children. Or, worse yet, having to accept foreigners into his land just to keep his children happy.
"They seem busy…" He quirked an eyebrow as Ibiki's eyes roamed over the scene behind Baki, which made the man wonder just where he might be going. "Don't want to meet your other soulmate?"
If he had two soulmates, then it was likely that he shared another with this man. One explanation his First Lady had given him was that he had two different soulmates, although they didn't have to be soulmates with one another. Another, though, was that they would all share each other.
If both his soulmates were from Konoha, then there was no doubt in Baki's mind: He would not be able to pursue any sort of relationship with them.
Soulmates from different Villages worked out when one was willing to leave behind the home they had always known for the sake of their relationship. Undoubtedly, Kankuro would be packing his bags as quickly as he could to take up residence with the Sannin that happened to be his other half. Temari, though… well, whoever it was that was her soulmate must have been prepared to leave Konoha behind. He wasn't sure just what Gaara might choose to do if he actually wanted to pursue a relationship with the pink haired girl he had met some time ago.
But Baki already had a life created in the Hidden Sand. Just like Ibiki had in the Hidden Leaf. And, even though he had not met the last third that made up their whole, Baki was sure that it was another person in the Leaf that had most probably already built a life with Ibiki. Clearly, Ibiki already knew their soulmate. Baki had been the last one to be found.
With a soft shrug, Baki looked away to make sure Temari and Gaara were both playing nice. Kankuro was gone with the Snake Sannin and Baki seriously doubted the kid would be going back to the Sand if he already trusted the man enough to leave with him.
"Not like anything will change." He admitted nonchalantly, "Not all soulmates wind up together."
Lord Rasa would never let him go. Not after everything they had been through together. Not with the amount of stability and help Baki offered the man as his Village continued to crumble beneath his feet.
"That's a rather pessimistic opinion to have when you haven't even met your soulmates."
Crossing his arms over his broad chest, Baki frowned softly at the man. "Just a thought."
Ibiki's own frown mirrored Baki's much too perfectly.
How could this be his soulmate? Weren't soulmates supposed to be perfect opposites of one another to make a whole?
"Wouldn't hurt to meet us; at least, not physically. Who knows what sort of emotional trauma you wind up with?" Ibiki shrugged after a while, and then smirked softly, "Just a thought."
Baki felt like it truly wouldn't hurt to meet his second soulmate. His connection with Ibiki wasn't anywhere near strong enough to make him want anything with the man. He hadn't even felt a single thing when his eyes had fallen on the man other than one small jolt as his heart skipped minutely. The skip had been enough to let him know Ibiki was, indeed, his soulmate. But nothing else had been felt.
The question was odd. But slightly amusing. What sort of insanity did Ibiki hold within to think he could actually traumatize a seasoned jonin like him?
Baki looked over at Temari and Gaara and found them talking complacently with their respective soulmates.
Huh… Baki would never have thought Temari would wind up with an Akimichi.
"Let me tell my kids."
Baki had loved Rasa's mother as if she were his own. And he had loved Rasa like the older brother Rasa had always wanted to be. He had not loved through his physical means, though. He had only hugged his Lady once, when she had gifted him his very first headdress. And he had allowed Rasa to hug him, play with him, and teach him whatever it was that he had wanted, but he had never sought after him. If Rasa came to him, he would not shy away. But he had never sought the older male out.
He had respected and feared the Kazekage; not loved him. Fear and anxiety always threatened to consume him whenever the domineering man was around. This had been because he had known that if he hadn't impressed the man, he could have been thrown out of the Village without even the prospect of a fair trial.
A small voice in the back of his mind had always tried to remind him of his Lady's love and kindness. It had also whispered of the brotherly bond he had forged with his Lord's son- these two would never allow him to be exiled from his new home. But Baki had never listened to that voice. He had already lost one home. What would stop him from losing yet another?
He hadn't wanted to lose his place in Suna. It was a high position, being the Kazekage's favored runt. Many had hated him for having come from the outside and having waltzed into such a sought after position. Because many had hated him, many had tried to make him seem like a failure in the Kazekage's eyes.
All those that had hated him had wanted to see him screw up and anger the Kazekage to a point that he was executed.
Baki forced himself to become indispensable to his Village because of this.
He couldn't become yet another ninja- the Kazekage didn't need more soldiers that were prone to human error; he had enough of those. No, the Kazekage had needed a competent killing machine that never questioned any of his orders.
The villagers had wanted to see him break down and fail the brutal training set before him. They had wanted to see him scream and cry in front of them, begging to be released from the arduous work he was forced to do as a child.
Baki had wanted to see them swallow their pride.
Much to the chagrin of all those that hated him, he had risen to become just what he had known the Kazekage would need. Much to the woe of his Lady, he became a child killer that never hesitated to murder. Much to the pride of his Lord, he became the best weapon he could have ever asked for.
He had not needed any kind of desensitization process to squash human feelings when on a mission. He had learned how to keep his emotions bottled up when he'd witnessed the brutal massacre that had ended his clan. He'd been forced to ignore his grief when he and his sister had trekked through perilous terrain without even a moment to mourn the fallen. Forcing his tears to die before they had even formed when his sister had finally allowed herself to leave him alone in the world had merely been second nature to him.
Unlike many that he had heard of that had grown calloused through torture and harsh teachings when they were children, Baki had willingly opted to spurn his humanity to become a merciless killing machine.
Ibiki led him deep into Konoha; into a place he had called the Jounin Section of the Village. Here there were countless of apartments, shops, and eateries run by retired ninja. They offered their services exclusively to active shinobi, seeing how these weren't regular clientele that barely made waves.
Quite frankly, this idea of a part of the Village being exclusively for active ninja sounded rather great. When it came to housing, it meant that ninja always had someone they could rely on whenever they left the Village on their missions. And when it came to the rest of the services, they dealt with people that understood their plights and needs, so there was no need to explain themselves like they would normally have to when buying from civilians.
Baki was taken to a large apartment at the top of one of the priciest looking buildings in the district. Its space was vast and filled with only a couple of key pieces of furniture. There was a hallway to the right side, hidden behind the wall it cut through, and Baki could see a trail of papers that begun in front of it.
Everything within the space was ordered and neat, aside from those few papers.
Once he had finished looking over the space, Baki turned to look at Ibiki.
"How long?"
Ibiki looked down at his watch, over at the door that had just closed behind them, and took one step back.
He received no answer.
He should have known that was enough of an answer.
"Ah! My second soulmate!"
Baki was caught off guard when a blur of purple and brown suddenly broke through the door that was behind him and latched onto him. But when he looked down, he found that he wasn't being attacked. Instead he was being hugged tightly by a purple haired woman.
"Finally! Now we can get serious about our lives, Biki!"
Baki quirked an eyebrow at what he presumed to be Ibiki's nickname, then looked over at the man.
Were they both delusional enough to believe that he would be going anywhere with them?
It was rather amusing that they actually thought this, really.
"Hello. I'm Baki." He offered her his hand, only for it to get slapped away and for eager arms to wrap around his waist.
"No need to be formal! You're the last third of my soul and I'm finally happy I found you!"
"Technically, I found him." Ibiki cleared his throat softly, which caused the woman currently hugging Baki to turn a vicious glare at him.
"Semantics don't matter, smart ass."
The woman then began to gush over everything they would now be able to do because their souls would finally be together.
Baki allowed her to run her mouth without trying to stop her. Eventually, he would be able to get a word in. And when he did, he would let them both down.
Soulmates or not, Baki's allegiance was to the Hidden Sand. And nothing would ever change that.
Training to become a weapon rather than a human had been shockingly easy for him. Baki loved hard work and reveled in doing a job right. The job he would be entering had very few specifications for his mental state: To be unemotional. And he could do that beautifully. Unlike many, preparing himself mentally had taken little to no preparation.
The only thing that truly gave him any trouble was molding his body to what was physically required. But he had learned from the murder of his clan that he never wanted to be the weaker of enemies. With that idea in mind, keeping up with the rigorous schedule the Kazekage had created especially for him had not been rather difficult.
It had been so easy for him to prepare himself for the life a shinobi, actually, that he had become a genin by the age of eight. Coincidentally enough, it was at that time that Rasa graduated the Academy. In the Kazekage's mind, this must have been an opportunity he could not have allowed to pass him by.
Both of the Kazekage's sons had been placed on the same genin team. Their Jounin Teacher was one of the greatest puppet masters to have ever lived- Sasori of the Red Sands. And their final teammate was the kunoichi- the soulmate-that would go on to marry Rasa and give him the three children he would never truly be able to understand.
(A woman that would come to lose herself because of her Village's damned pride.)
Sasori-Sensei had drilled the importance of completing a mission into them from the very beginning. Team work was essential and loyalty to one another was important- but those never took center stage in his teachings. He did not care how they did it; if they wound up killing each other or leaving one of their own behind; as long as the mission was successfully completed.
It had been easy for Baki to internalize this. He had already resolved himself to becoming an indispensable weapon, completing the mission was necessary for him to do this. So, while Rasa and Karura had struggled to work together and cover up one another's weaknesses, Baki avoided ever exposing his weaknesses. During training exercises where their objective was to run a gauntlet and get to the other side, Rasa and Karura worked together and Baki went in alone- those two would always win at first.
Sasori-Sensei caught on to their strategies early on, though. And soon enough, the gauntlets became almost impossible to complete in pairs. Baki began to win because of his sole objective- to finish- while Karura and Rasa fell behind- they refused to ever leave a teammate behind; damned, stubborn, fools.
Rasa grew angered with their teacher and crowed about the need for teamwork. He had never grown angered with Baki, though. He had just tried his best to drill the need to keep teammates protected into him.
His labors bore fruit.
Even though Baki never allowed Sasori Sensei or the Kazekage to see how he constantly watched his teammates' backs, he never allowed them out of his sight. Those two, although strong and capable in their own rights, had the same fallacy most others had- they were human. They allowed their emotions to get the better of them, allowed their weaknesses to overwhelm them at the worst given moment.
Baki had loved them both.
Even if it brought him great injury, Baki had made sure Rasa and Karura returned home and the mission had been completed successfully. At the cost of his body, Baki had ensured the completion of their mission and the safety of those two that had grown to matter to him.
Their team still held the record for the most successful mission completed by a genin team. He was sure that, eventually, someone would be able to break this.
Baki still held the record for the most injuries sustained by any ninja on a successful S-Ranked mission. He highly doubted anyone would ever manage to break this.
Baki had never spent much time thinking about his soulmates. He had been too busy becoming a killing machine to ever stop and think about such useless things.
What use did soulmates have for him? Soulmates were other humans that felt emotions and faltered because of them. All they would truly be able to do for him was drag him back into a spectrum of humanity that he didn't want to go back into.
He hadn't allowed himself to be affected by his feelings since he was four. He didn't need to feel again.
"You haven't even told him your name, woman."
Baki's face remained emotionless as the woman gasped and her arms left him. But then he found those very arms wrapping around his neck as she plastered herself into his side once again.
"You're so right, Biki! Baki, my name's Anko Mitarashi and you're a better soulmate than Ibiki! He's mean."
It was rather childish, the way she stuck her tongue out at Ibiki. But Baki was used to dealing with Kankuro and Temari arguing with one another, so he wasn't too bothered by the display of immaturity.
Now that he thought about, if Kankuro chose to live with his soulmate, he would never have to deal with their petty arguments…
Shame. He enjoyed having Kankuro around; he even had a soft spot for the middle child. But it was just the way life would go; Kankuro would leave behind the home he had always hated and Baki would stay in the only home he would ever need.
"Anyway, it's pretty freaking awesome to find out that the Specter of the Sand's my soulmate. One's an interrogation beast and the other is a world renowned shinobi! I'm the luckiest kunoichi around! My soulmates are badasses!"
Baki had heard of Anko Mitarashi before. What she had left without saying was her own degree of legendary status among the Hidden Villages; which might make sense. Ibiki may be a sadist and Baki may be an unrepentant killer, but Anko's own reputation could make even Baki worry slightly about how he would have to go about taking her down, for he knew that she could kill him if she put her mind to it.
Not that he would hesitate to end her. If he had to, he would kill both of these Leaf Ninja without a second thought. Soulmates or not, orders were orders. And he always followed orders.
"Baki, would you like something to eat?" Ibiki questioned as he cleared his throat, clearly trying to capture Anko's attention.
But the woman was rubbing her cheek against his chest, apparently unbothered by the fact that he had yet to move a single inch.
"I would not mind eating." Baki answered neutrally, giving the man an unbothered look.
It wasn't difficult to figure out that Ibiki was somewhat worried over Anko's actions. But Baki was not bothered at all by what she was doing. She had most probably grown up dreaming about who her soulmates would be; she had most probably spent nights longing and wishing to finally meet them both.
It was a shame she had wound up with a soulmate like him.
When the Kazekage's wife died, even his Lord cried. There was no dry eye during the funeral procession… Except for Baki's own pair.
It was not because he felt nothing. Oh, he had felt more than enough. He had wanted to cry and scream for the woman that he had allowed to enter his heart as if she were his own mother. But he had not cried at all. Because weapons didn't show emotions. Weapons didn't cry.
He had been the one trusted with hunting down the bastard that had poisoned the wonderful woman. It had needed to be someone that would kill the kunoichi from Konoha that had dared poison Baki's Lady without making a single ripple in the world. Alliances were unstable and the Sand had not been able to afford to be the spark to light the powder keg- they were still too weak and small to start any fights at that time.
His Lord had needed someone that would die if it was necessary to ensure the Sand's involvement in the kunoichi's death was never found out. He had needed the weapon he had quietly been crafting throughout years of watching over both of his sons.
Rasa had been contemplated for just a second. But he was much too stricken by his mother's death to be competent in the mission. He would have been too violent- he would have committed a mistake because of his anger.
It had been an honor for Baki to obliterate everything the kunoichi had ever been.
By the time they had finished eating, Anko had yet to finish talking about the wonderful future they would all be living together.
Baki had not been able to catch everything, but some of the snatches he had managed to hear had been somewhat baffling. How could a woman as terrifying as Orochimaru's most known student ever possibly think she would be able to grow old with her soulmates? How could she expect to have children and grandchildren, along with cats, dogs, and snakes, if she would undoubtedly be killed by a smart adversary that needed to get rid of her so Konoha would lose the pillar she was? How could she ever even think about having kids when there was no doubt about them getting targeted by her enemies to get back at her?
He finally decided to intervene when she began to speak about writing a letter to his Kazekage to ask him if Baki could be transferred to the Hidden Leaf.
Admittedly, he felt insulted over someone assuming that he would leave his life in the Sand just because he had found his soulmates. But he didn't comment on this.
"There is no need for that."
Anko froze and, unlike the rest of their encounter, actually spent a couple of seconds in silence. But then she perked up with a smile, "You're right! I'll ask the Hokage to move on out with you. Ibiki'll need more time, seeing how he's the Head of T&I an' all, but eventually he'll be able to move with us too."
Ibiki's eyes narrowed at this and he looked as if he was ready to reprimand the woman. But Baki merely shook his head.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but there'll be no moving."
Both of them looked at him with twin looks of utter confusion.
"What? But… How're we supposed to get to know each other if none of us is together?"
"You two can get to know each other." Baki shrugged softly, crossing his arms over his chest. "But I won't be part of this. You two may be my soulmates, but that means nothing to me. Knowing or not knowing you won't change a single thing. I'll still be a jonin of Sunagakure and you two will still be allied with Konohagakure. We are allies, but there is nothing more to it."
The stunned silence that settled over them was thick.
"Thank you for the food." He stood up, bowed at them both, and began to walk out of the dining room and over to the entrance of the apartment.
It was as he walked that he suddenly found the woman latching onto him once more.
"You can't leave us, Baki! You just got here!"
Baki breathed in to center himself then looked down at the woman. "Please, let go of me."
"No! I'm not letting you go! You're my soulmate! I'm not letting you go just because of some stupid land separation! Like I said, I'm willing to-"
"There is no discussion over living arrangements," Baki interrupted harshly, glaring at the woman that held onto his right arm, "I am truly sorry that you wound up with a soulmate like me; I know you think that you would have lived a good life with someone, but I am not that someone."
"Baki."
Ibiki walked up to them both with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes were harsh and cold, but Baki knew it was merely a mask to keep his emotions from being seen.
"All three of us are soulmates. We're meant to be together; to some degree."
Baki knew this. He knew that soulmates were supposed to wind up together at some point. But he just couldn't see himself ever forging any sort of relationship with these two. Hell, it had been difficult to create any sort of relationship with Lord Rasa's children. And he'd watched them grow up before his very eyes. How could he be expected to create anything with two extremely dangerous interrogators from a Village that could be Suna's enemy at the drop of a hat?
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but nothing is going to happen between us." He reiterated coldly, "I've learned how to say goodbye. It's time you both do."
Slowly, the woman's arms unwrapped from around his own. And Baki took this chance to step away from her and shake some feeling back into the appendage, "Baki… Soulmates weren't created to be rejected… They weren't created to hurt one another-"
"Humans always hurt each other." The Jounin from the Sand quickly cut in, ignoring the pang of pain that suddenly (unexpectedly) hit him when he saw the woman's light brown eyes widening in shock. "I'm not going to enter into some sort of relationship with two interrogators from the Hidden Leaf. I'm not going to abandon my duties because you two happen to live here." He raised his eyes to glare directly into Ibiki's harsh blacks, "Just because I have soulmates, it does not mean I am going to leave my life to start a new one with you. I've got responsibilities and a duty to fulfill. The sooner you understand nothing will happen between us, the sooner you will be able to say goodbye."
"So, what?" Anko's voice was filled with heart, her eyes shining of tears, "We finally meet you after years of anticipation and you just turn around and say goodbye?"
Baki looked her in the eyes and took in the unbelievable amount of pain within them. Then he looked at Ibiki's own, which were much more guarded than Anko's own, but still held an ounce of emotions.
He felt nothing for this. Nothing. The small wave of something that wanted to hit him was merely unease over being stuck deep inside Konoha without any true form of retreat in case anything went wrong.
"Yes." He turned around and opened the door behind him, "Just think about it this way: you have each other as soulmates. Whoever decided we should all be soulmates must have seen how I would never be part of anything. They must have given you each other to make up for this."
The night Lady Karura almost died was the night Baki lost the last two people he would ever willingly allow into his heart.
The Kazekage had been dead for years now, murdered during the last War. Lord Rasa had earned his rightful place as his successor and Baki continued to mold himself into the Kazekage's most trusted weapon.
Coincidentally, it was also the night Gaara was forced into a role only Baki could truly fill, and the Kazekage's family fractured.
Baki had allowed only a handful of people into his heart at that point. They had all died; if not in body, then in spirit. Lady Karura no longer smiled at her soulmate and Lord Rasa hardened his heart to a point that the only person he truly trusted with what little was left of it was Baki- his only brother.
Baki was his favored tool for keeping control of his Village and its enemies. After all, who wouldn't be afraid of a man considered to be the most heartless and ruthless shinobi to ever have been born in the Sand? Who would not be scared of a weapon known to kill indiscriminately as long as his mission asked for it? Who would not fear a killer that was not afraid of dying as long as he took his enemies with him? Who would not tremble at the very mention of a monster that had slaughtered a whole town simply because they had tried to begin trading with their enemies?
(What was not known about that town was that they were separatists that were breeding their children to become weapons like him. Lord Rasa's father had ordered him; and only him; to deal with that town because he had known that Baki would not hesitate to kill a child. Others would have, though. And that would have cost their lives.)
As Sasori-Sensei had once said, "Who would not be afraid of the only student of mine to truly make me worry for my life?"
If even Sasori-Sensei had worried Baki was capable of killing him if he was instructed, there truly was a reason for everyone else that held no true connection with him to be scared.
The only reason he was pulled from active duty and tasked with teaching Lord Rasa's children was because the man didn't trust anybody else with the weapon he himself was molding.
Every Kazekage needed a heartless weapon that would never question their orders. Gaara had been chosen. Baki had never agreed with creating another weapon; wasn't he already enough?
He had never told his Second Lord that the question had appeared in his mind...
After all, who better to teach Gaara how to become the weapon of mass destruction his Village needed him to be other than the man that had never shed a single tear?
… … …
When Lord Rasa had seen the way in which his youngest chose to save his siblings rather than complete his objective, he found out that Baki's ruthlessness could never be copied.
Baki found out, in turn, that his heart still beat, frozen and calloused as it may have been… And it refused him to allow another to ever be like him.
When he returned to Suna, it was with three reluctant, petulant, unbelievably annoying genin bothering him the whole goddamn time.
My soulmate this and my soulmate that. All they wanted to talk about was their soulmates; compare them to one another, figure out which one was the strongest, which one was the nicest, which one cooked the best… Quite frankly, it annoyed Baki to have to hear so much about soulmates when he had just rejected his own. But he kept his thoughts to himself and allowed the children to bicker among one another.
(The strongest was Orochimaru; there was no way to compete against him; and the best cook was the Akimichi that happened to be Temari's soulmate. But none of them were able to come to come to a consensus over who was nicest; apparently, all the newly found soulmates were unbelievably kind.)
(Ibiki and Anko had been nice enough, albeit delusional. But Baki refused to think about them.)
During the family dinner Baki was asked to take part in, the genin all informed their parents about the soulmates they had recently found.
Baki didn't miss the surprise and relief that came over Lord Rasa as Kankuro informed him about the Sannin that had offered to take him in and take over the rest of his education. Nor did he miss the soft smile that came over Lady Karura's lips as Gaara and Temari told them they would like to return to Konoha as soon as they had earned the trip so they would be able to see their soulmates.
No decisions on soulmates were made during the dinner. Lord Rasa and Lady Karura promised their children that they would talk about the matter and come to a decision later on.
It was the nicest dinner Baki had been a part of in a while.
After the children had bounced up to bed and the servants had cleaned up the table, Baki had been left with his Lord and Lady to discuss their children's progress.
He informed them about the success that had been the first phases of the Chunin Exams, but regretfully admitted that only genin that was truly ready to be promoted to chunin was Gaara because of the restraint he had showed when dealing with his opponents. None of them had won their Final Rounds, though, so they were still to be held back as genin.
Lord Rasa nodded wisely at this, and then said that his children would undoubtedly be ready to be promoted by the next Chunin Exams. Until then, though, they would continue working and learning together.
This verdict had been enough to let Baki know that, no matter what Kankuro might ask for, he would not be sent to Konoha to live full time with his soulmate.
"But, Baki…" When Lady Karura spoke up, in a voice so soft and quiet that Baki found himself wishing to kill any that had ever even thought about harming her, he turned to look at her in question. "What about your own soulmates?"
His Lord and Lady both knew about his anomaly. They had never judged him for it, though, and Baki was grateful for this.
"I met them." He informed them, but soon shrugged. "But nothing is to happen. They are both established and well known jonin from Konoha."
He was not prepared for the tears that sprung up into Lady Karura's eyes.
"You don't understand, Baki…" She breathed out as she suddenly and harshly stood up from her seat with a force he'd never have thought she possessed, "I told you this, Rasa. Now look what he has done. He's rejected his own soulmates!"
Baki had no idea where the sudden outburst had come from. Just like he didn't know why Lord Rasa breathed out harshly; eyes closed while his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose with frustration shown clear on his face.
"Please, Karura…"
"Deal with the mess your father created. And deal with it now."
Lady Karura was gone before Baki could even ask what she had meant when she'd mentioned Baki's first Lord.
Minutes passed. Baki remained seated, truly caught off guard by the sudden spectacle from Lady Karura. And Lord Rasa just sat there, breathing in and out with his shut tightly.
"Baki… Come with me."
Baki didn't hesitate when Lord Rasa stood up. He followed after the man without a single question; he'd never been the kind to question any order given to him- why would he start now?
They walked up the stairs of his home, past the man's marital chamber- Karura was not there, Baki noted with complete confusion-, and out into his balcony. There Baki took his rightful place by the door, standing with his shoulders straight and his senses alert. Lord Rasa walked over to the edge of the balcony, placing his arms over the railing of the fencing that sprouted from the floor beneath them.
The night was calm and quiet, with a couple of stars shining and a bright, full moon standing like a stalwart watcher. It was cloudy, though, and many stars were obscured because of this.
Lord Rasa thought about his words for a couple of minutes. And when he finally spoke, it was with nothing but pure honesty.
"Baki… I never assigned my children to you so Gaara could learn to be like you."
As soon as he heard this, Baki felt all of the air leave his body. But he remained composed, refusing to allow himself to show how truly caught off guard he had been.
"I wanted someone I could trust with my children." The older male breathed out as he kept his gaze up on the full moon, hands holding on tightly to the railing on the balcony. "The Council wanted Gaara to believe in a past similar to yours. I know you wouldn't know this; I've kept it from you for a reason… But, Baki, they wanted to use Genjutsu on my child to make him believe he came from a clan that had been completely wiped out to then be adopted by the Kazekage."
Baki found it hard to believe these words. But Lord Rasa would never lie to him… He'd never lied be- that wasn't right… He had lied. He'd kept all of this from him. But he must have kept this from him for a reason. Lord Rasa wasn't the kind to lie simply because he wanted to acquire some amusement.
"They wanted to create another Baki. You are such an efficient shinobi- the best weapon Suna has against many of your enemies. And they believed that the only true way to acquire another you was by copying your past."
With a heavy sigh, the man turned to look at Baki. His dark eyes weren't as hard as Baki had known his first Lord's to be. Instead they were soft, filled with emotions… Lord Rasa had always found it hard to separate himself from those troublesome things.
"I wanted you to teach my children so that they would learn from you every single skill you excel in. You are one of our greatest assets for a reason… But I did not want any of them to learn how to suppress their emotions as you do. In reality, I wanted you to grow to care for them as your own so you could finally allow someone into your heart."
The more he spoke, the less Baki liked what he heard.
Was this man judging him? After all of the hard work he'd ever put- No. He couldn't think like that. This was his Kazekage. He wasn't to be questioned. He was only to be listened to. Baki had to remember this. He had to internalize it once more. It was hard, though. Much harder than it should have been.
Baki's jaw was tensed and he felt like he might have just broken a tooth from all of the pressure he was forcing on his mouth. But he refused to allow himself to show even a fraction of the emotions he was feeling- was this how bitter being lied to tasted?
"I thought you had learned. Brother, I thought you had learned."
When Lord Rasa moved to put his hands on him, Baki didn't stop him. Rasa, though, stopped himself with a disappointed sigh.
"Baki, this isn't healthy. I know you don't want me to touch you. I know you're angry. Why don't you let it out?"
Forming words was difficult. Untensing his jaw was even harder. But eventually Baki managed to speak his thought, "Because you're my Kazekage. I won't disrespect you."
There it was. There was the harshness within his Second Lord's eyes that he had become acclimated to because of his First Lord.
"Baki, you stupid son of a bitch." Rasa grabbed him harshly by the shoulders, glaring straight into his only visible eye. "You're my brother. I'm not going to punish you for going against my word!"
Baki didn't answer him.
How could he tell the man that, no matter what he said, words were mere words that didn't necessarily dictate consequent actions? He couldn't tell him this. The man would undoubtedly feel insulted.
With a growl, Lord Rasa pushed him back and stormed back to his previous spot gazing up at the sky.
"I'm not a young man anymore, Baki. Karura strains herself so much already… We cannot keep up with this façade."
Baki wanted to know what façade the man was talking about. But he merely shifted back into proper stance by the doorway. A good weapon didn't question its master.
"You're a stubborn one… I've always known that, so I don't know why I'm so annoyed with you right now." He chuckled humorlessly now, "Baki, Karura and I's marriage is strong. We love one another so much it hurts me to see her having to frown whenever you are around."
"Then why does she frown?" Baki questioned before he could stop himself, only to find Rasa's hands tightening around the railing.
"Because she wants me to force you into retirement! Because Karura believes that, once I free you from your duty as a ninja, you will finally be able to become a human!"
Rasa's shout was harsh and irritated.
Baki looked down at the floor in confusion.
Finally become a human? Force him into retirement? Just how badly did Lady Karura understand him? Did she understand him at all?
Baki didn't want to retire. His whole life, he'd taught himself how to forgo useless emotions and never allow human error to take over him. His whole life, he had prepared himself for the harsh reality that he would die in the field, following his Lord's orders.
How could Karura ever want him to retire? Why would she ever want to take this away from him? It was literally what he had been born to do.
"You are one of the few things we truly argue over, Baki…" Rasa sighed, voice losing its harshness, "Our children's upbringing is another, but you've done such a good job of keeping them human that Karura barely fights with me about it… Brother, she has worried for your well being ever since we were genin. She is terrified of one day finding out you have been killed in the field."
"That is an honor, Lord Rasa. For a ninja to die in battle-"
"I am not Lord Rasa to you." Rasa suddenly growled, turning back to him with a harsh glare. "I am your brother, Baki! Why can you not understand that you're not some emotionless sentinel? Why do you insist on keeping me at an arms' length?"
"Because my duty is not to be human, Lord Rasa." Baki answered back cruelly, eyes narrowing as well, "My duty is to be the weapon my Village needs me to be. My duty is to destroy those that threaten my home."
Anger bubbled up within him, but he forced it to remain quelled. He couldn't scream at his Kazekage. He could not allow the man's words to affect him.
"I have lived my life the way I've wanted to. And if Lady Karura is so worried for me, she could talk to me."
"Because it's so easy to talk to you…" Rasa murmured sarcastically, then ghosted over to him with a stern frown on his lips. "Baki, I've a new mission to assign to you."
Immediately Baki straightened up, prepared to do anything it would take to do as he was asked.
"You will never listen to me or my wife. Years of conditioning from my father will not be undone by those that grew up with you… Unfortunately, our time to help has passed…" Lord Rasa's voice drifted off now and his eyes became unfocused, as if he suddenly lost himself.
In no time, though, the man shook himself back into reality, "But there is still time for you to learn. Not by our hands, unfortunately." Lord Rasa's eyes hardened now and he frowned in determination, "Baki, your new mission is to spend a month in the Hidden Leaf Village to get to know your soulmates."
Immediately, Baki opened his mouth to try and fight the sudden mission. But he quickly shut it, reminding himself that he was not to go against his Kazekage.
Lord Rasa's glare was enough to let him know that he should have said something.
"Pack your bags. I know you just got back, but I am not about to allow you to continue slipping from my fingers. And if keeping you alive means losing you, I am ready to say goodbye."
Baki did not miss the irony in the man's thoughts.
"Don't worry over my children's education. I will take on the burden of teaching them for the month you are away."
As he spoke, Lord Rasa walked away and in the direction of his room. But once he was inside, still in Baki's sight, he stopped.
"I will be expecting a full report on the situation of your soulmates by the time you come back."
Baki nodded stiffly, but Lord Rasa didn't see it. He was already closing the door into his room, leaving Baki outside in the cooling night.
..~..~..
Well? What'd you think? Love it? Or hate it? Wanna set the world on fire or douse it with love because of all the rare pairs I continue to come up with? Please review so you can tell me your thoughts.
