Have you ever had one of those dreams that you can't quite get a grasp on but also cannot wake up? Everything is so vivid it feels real and yet there's no recollection of what has actually happened while you were in dreamland?

This has been my life for an indeterminate amount of time. I can't tell necessarily when the last time was that I was truly awake. I'm conscious to some extent. I know that I'm lying down and in a relatively comfortable space. I know I'm always warm and miraculously never hungry or thirsty. This makes me believe that maybe I haven't been asleep that long but at the same time; I can't remember what day it is.

I have an odd heavy feeling in my belly but when I try to extend my senses any further I can't firmly grasp anything. There's no sound, scent, touch, taste, and of course no sight.

Gasping and heart racing I sat up in bed frantically trying to find an anchor to the here and now. I see the familiar surroundings of my room, hear the house noises that I used to find so comforting in this old house, and I slowly started to calm myself.

"I am not there anymore, I am safe, I am home."

It sounds simple, it sounds like your typical psycho-babble response to a bad dream when you suffer from PTSD. Sadly, it does work, and I do believe what I once would have called "bullshit".

I glanced at the clock and groaned, "2 AM, really!?" I got up and stumbled into the kitchen looking out of the window glaring at the moon and the obviously quiet night.

"What did I do to deserve this? My life was good; my life was heading in an amazing direction with an amazing guy! WHY!?

I threw the innocent plate that sat by the sink across the kitchen and sunk to my knees sobbing silently into my hands.

Hey everyone! It has been much too long! I am slowly trying to get myself back into writing and before I continue working on TMOTTBG I have had this idea running through my brain for a bit now and was curious to see if anyone would be willing on reading on. Also, I'm not sure if I wanted to go with Twilight (Jacob x Bella) or Vampire Academy (Rose x Dimitri). Please please please give me feedback, it's part of the reason I write!

Hope to hear from you all soon!

Xx