Author's Note: I'm back! Long story short, it's been a stressful past few months with no time for fan fiction. Hopefully I will have more time now. And I figured that since Sam's birthday was today, it would be a good idea to post this story. Happy Birthday Sam! Here's to another year of hurt!Sam fanfic. Please enjoy!
"A happy birthday is measured not in the amount of gifts one gets, but in the amount of love one receives."
― Todd Stocker
Jessica Moore considers herself a good girlfriend.
She isn't high maintenance. She's not one of those girls who need to go out every weekend and dance with her man in order to feel special. She's perfectly content to lounge around in her pajamas, watching TV with Sam and fighting over who gets to eat the last bit of ice cream. She finds herself relaxed around Sam—he brings out the best in her and she finds herself smiling more, laughing more.
They've been together for two years and she decides that this is the year that she will finally show Sam how much he means to her. With his birthday coming up, she has to plan the perfect surprise party. It isn't too hard—she's always been good with planning parties—but she's reluctant to even mention the dreaded "b-word" around Sam.
"I don't really need to celebrate, Jess," He always brushes her off with a tight smile that doesn't reach his eyes. Then, he would take her hand within his and add, "I just need you."
She knows that Sam's relationship with his family is strained to say the least. What she has managed to pry out of him isn't good—his father didn't approve of Sam's going away to school, there was a huge fight and Sam basically stormed out into the night with just the clothes on his back and his acceptance letter—and while she gets that his birthday is just a reminder of all that he's left behind, she wants to make some sort of positive memory for him. If she could just give him a happy birthday, she'll consider her job done.
So, it's settled. A surprise party with all his closest friends and all his favorite foods. It'll be the perfect way to show Sam how much he is cared for here and how he can forge his own happy future.
"What are you up to?" Sam questions, a smirk on his lips as he takes a seat next to her on their couch.
"Nothing." She lies as she puts aside her party-planning notebook. She's just finalizing the guest list and trying to figure out which of Sam's favorite foods she should serve.
"Doesn't look like nothing." Sam presses softly, his brow furrowing.
She crosses the small gap between them to press her lips to his, reassuring him that nothing is wrong. She pulls away a few moments later, beaming at her boyfriend.
"It's a secret."
Sam's expression turns into one of mock horror, "A secret? You're keeping a secret from me?"
"You'll see." She laughs as she gets up from the couch, grabbing her notebook. She'll have to hide out in the bedroom to get everything straightened out and she has a few phone calls to make.
"Jess?"
She stops and faces him.
"It's nothing for my birthday, right?" There's that familiar worried glint in his eyes, the one that she recognizes each time she gets to close to finding out something about his past.
"Right." She lies.
Really, Jessica Moore is a good girlfriend.
Then again, maybe the birthday party wasn't such a good idea.
Sure, the party itself was a success. Everyone came, the food was excellent and Sam actually laughed and mingled with everyone. For once, Sam was smiling on his birthday, enjoying being a normal 20 year old.
And then he just . . . collapsed.
One second, he was blowing out the candles of his birthday cake and the next, he was down, face planted on the carpet.
She isn't sure who called the ambulance, but the next she knew, she was in the waiting room of Stanford Hospital, sitting in a hard plastic chair and waiting for someone—anyone—to tell her what is wrong with her boyfriend. Sam is healthy. He shouldn't just collapse like that. It's not normal.
"Excuse me!" She practically grabs the arm of the tenth nurse that walks by her.
"Miss?" The nurse questions, her tone warm and Jess immediately lets her go, slightly ashamed of her actions.
"My boyfriend was brought in and I haven't heard anything since." Jess tries to keep the panic and worry out of her voice. Freaking out will do Sam no good. She needs to remain calm. She can't turn into a mess now.
"His name?" The nurse asked and Jess follows her to the desk.
"Sam Winchester."
The nurse types that into the computer. It beeps and a moment later, the nurse nods.
"Right. He's been moved to the I.C.U. now."
"Can I see him?" She needs to see Sam, needs to hold his hand within hers to reassure herself that he is alive and okay.
The nurse bites her lower lip, a bit nervous, "I'm afraid not."
Jessica balks, "What?"
"He's not conscious. Until then, we can only let immediate family see him." Her piece said, the nurse quickly disappears back into the throng of nurses and patients in the waiting room.
Jess doesn't know what to process first—the fact that her boyfriend is unconscious or the fact that she can't see him.
"Immediate family only." Jess scoffs, anger flaring up in her veins. What did they know about Sam's family? About the fact that they refused to support him? About how that on the rare moments when Sam would get drunk enough, he would cry about how he lost his big brother and his father all in the course of one night? Is that what qualifies for family these days?
Jessica isn't one to break rules, but she'll be damned if she's going to be kept away from Sam. There's always an exception to every rule. She just needs to find a loophole somehow.
Pulling out her phone, she quickly punches in Brady's phone number.
He picks up on the first ring, "Jesus, Jess, is Sam okay?"
"Brady, do you still have that number for Sam's uncle?"
"His uncle? Uh, yeah, I think I do. Hold on." There's the sound of rummaging on the line.
It's a bit of a last ditch effort, Jess knows. She remembered that when she and Sam first started dating, Sam had gotten a gnarly case of the flu and ended up in the hospital. Brady had managed to call Sam's uncle to come and check on him. Jess isn't against sneaking into Sam's room, but she doesn't want to risk getting kicked out and leaving Sam completely alone.
"Jess? You there?"
"I'm here."
"Here's the number." He rattles off the digits and Jess writes them down.
"Thanks Brady. I'll call you once I know something." She hangs up without waiting for his reply and quickly enters the uncle's number.
"Leave a message." A gruff voice growls and Jessica hesitates a moment at the harsh tone.
But she can't give up. She needs to see Sam. And if Sam's family refused to help her, so be it. She will find another way if she has to.
Anything to help Sam.
"My name is Jessica Moore. I'm Sam's girlfriend," She wonders how much Sam has told his family about her. Maybe nothing. Keeping her voice steady she continues, "Sam is in the hospital at Stanford Medical. He's in the I.C.U. and they won't let me see him because I'm not family. If you could come down and help me, that would be great. Anyways, my number is—"
"Jessica?" The gruff voice is barking on the line now.
"Yes!" She chirps, slightly startled.
"What happened?"
"He just collapsed. They haven't told me why."
"Balls," The voice curses, "I'll be there in a few hours. Hang tight."
And with that he hangs up.
Hospital coffee and food sucks, but compared to the unease she feels about not knowing how Sam is, she'd suffer through a hundred cups of the cold, diluted mud she's drinking now.
She shifts in the hard plastic chair, trying to get somewhat more comfortable, but failing miserably. She's tired—she hasn't slept since Sam was brought in and that was six hours ago—but she can't allow herself to rest now. Once she sees Sam—and reassures herself that he's okay—she'll let herself relax.
Right now though, no way.
A slightly older man with a faded blue baseball cap, blue flannel shirt and well-worn jeans rushes into the E.R. and Jess isn't sure why, but she knows immediately who the man is.
"Sam's uncle?" She calls, cursing herself for not asking his name on the phone.
He turns and meets her gaze before coming to stand by her.
"Bobby Singer." He introduces himself gruffly.
"Jessica Moore."
They awkwardly shake.
"Let me get this straightened out." He gestures to the nurses' station and she nods.
She watches him speak to the nurse before he gets taken behind those magical doors where Sam is. She sighs as she sits back in the chair, unsure of how long it will be before she can see him.
"Jessica?"
She hops back on her feet as Bobby motions for her to follow him through the door.
Finally.
She can see Sam now.
There are too many tubes hooked up to Sam.
As she grabs his clammy hand within hers and presses a kiss to it, she tries not to burst into tears at the sight of the oxygen tank by her boyfriend's bed, at the numerous monitors displaying his vitals, and at the fact that Sam has not so much as stirred since she came into the room.
"What's wrong with him?" Her voice is much too shaky, but she won't let herself cry, not here, not now. She needs to be strong now. She can't fall apart.
Bobby sighs raggedly, "Pneumonia in both lungs."
Her head jerks back to meet Sam's uncle's gaze, "Pneumonia? How? He wasn't even coughing. He didn't have a fever." She chastises herself. Was Sam sick? Did she push him? She should've paid more attention. She knows how Sam likes to hide his illnesses from her so she won't worry. She shakes her head, "It's not natural."
"No," Bobby agrees darkly, an unknown expression entering his eyes, "It's not."
It takes her aback, "Mr. Singer, what—?"
"Can you watch over him? I need to go do something."
She wants to press him on what could possibly be more important than staying by Sam's side, but there's something about the look on his face that gives her pause. She mechanically nods her head, "Of course."
With a curt nod, Bobby leaves the room.
"J'ss?"
"Hey there, baby." She keeps a warm smile on her lips, though her heart is breaking inside her chest.
Sam's eyes are cloudy and it's clear that he's not fully there, but she'll take him being awake over another moment of unconsciousness. He clumsily fumbles for her hand and she presses a quick kiss to his clammy forehead.
"S'kay," He tries to reassure her and now a tear does slip down her cheek because really, what did she do to deserve such a wonderful guy? She nods her head, not trusting herself not to sob if she opens her mouth, but Sam adds, "D'n?" His eyes dart around the hospital room, not finding who or what he's looking for.
"Dean?" She repeats, the name somewhat familiar to her. Then, it clicks. Dean is Sam's brother, the one who said nothing the night that Sam left.
"D'n?" Sam repeats and he sounds so weak and so sad that it practically breaks her heart.
"It's okay, Sam," She soothes, rubbing his hand within her own, "Just rest."
She could lie and tell him that Dean is coming, but she couldn't do that to Sam. She doesn't know what the problem is with Sam's family, but she won't risk getting his hopes up only to crush them once he's well.
"S'kay." Sam's syllables slur together as he his eyes fall shut.
"It will be," She promises him quietly, "It will be, Sam."
And with that, she continues her vigil.
Sam's fever continues to climb.
At 103, Jess gets damp cloths and tries to keep the fever in check. Her boyfriend restlessly turns, not even sleep can keep the pain at bay for him.
At 105, the nurses decide to risk an ice bath. They submerge Sam and he practically turns blue and his moans pierce her heart.
If you asked her, this would be the moment that she realized that Sam Winchester was the one for her.
Through sickness and health, after all.
She just hopes there will be more in store for the two of them.
Sam's heart stops and as the nurses and doctors push Jessica out of the room and try to revive him, it feels like her own heart has shattered into a million pieces.
"Clear!"
Sam's body arches from the electric shock and she doesn't know whether to scream or sob. She's almost detached from it all.
This shouldn't be happening. Sam should be home with her, eating birthday cake. He should be holding her, whispering cheesy romantic lines in her ear while she does her best not to laugh.
This shouldn't be happening.
"Clear!"
Sam's body arches again, his head slamming back against the bed.
Her knees give way and she sinks down to the floor, sobs overtaking her.
This shouldn't be happening.
This really shouldn't be happening.
"Jessica?"
Bobby stands by her side and she feels like she's aged 100 years in one night, but when she faces Sam's uncle, she can't help but beam.
"He's awake," She informs him softly, "His fever broke about an hour ago." She honestly can't reconcile how Sam got so sick so fast and then recovered twice as fast.
"That so?" Bobby mutters, sagging somewhat against the door. He seems out of breath and his jeans are caked in mud.
"Yeah," She replies quietly, "Are you okay?"
"Fine." Bobby shrugs, "You good?"
She feels like a mess but everything is finally right in her world, "I'm perfect."
Because waiting in that hospital room is her healthy, awake boyfriend. What more could she ask for?
"Can I go see him?" Bobby questions and she nods.
"Of course. I told him you were here."
"Good." Bobby enters the room, the door closing behind him with a shut.
She can see Bobby hugging Sam and the sheer bright grin alighting on Sam's lips. He loves his uncle, that much is obvious and maybe this bad blood between Sam and his family isn't quite as black and white as she thought. She wouldn't ask Sam now, but she would definitely consider it.
For now, she will just be grateful.
Her boyfriend is alive and will see another birthday.
It's the best present that anyone could have asked for.
Two days later and he's holding her on their couch, both of them savoring each other's touch. Jess burrows a bit deeper, relishing this touch. She almost lost him. She came too close. Now, she won't waste another second. She'll treasure each and every moment.
"Your uncle left?"
Sam stiffens a bit and she presses a kiss to his hand, reassuring him.
"Yeah. Bobby has a business he runs. He needed to get back to it."
She grins, "I'm glad he came."
There's a pause before Sam reluctantly adds, "Me too."
There's a lot more she wants to ask, more she wants to learn about Sam and his family, but now is not the time. Now, she will just lie here with her boyfriend and enjoy the moment.
"Hey," She murmurs, "I never got to tell you. Happy birthday."
Sam just chuckles.
"Love you, Jess."
"Love you too."
Life is good.
And with Sam by her side, she's sure it will just keep getting better.
Author's Note: Hopefully you guys enjoyed this! I'm a bit out of practice since it's been so long but I hope to write more soon. Please review if you have a moment. Thanks!
