Not mine: I do not own Inuyasha or the song 'Someone Else's Ears'. They belong to someone else and it is only through them that there is inspiration enough to pen this down.
Someone Else's Ears
For three months in
'92 when I was such a wreck
I spent endless evenings with my face
draped against your neck
It hurt when I was empty and friends just
turned away
It was you who chose to stay
Inuyasha stared into the mirror above the sink in his bathroom. He could taste the cigarettes and whiskey in his mouth from last night's show at Rick's Place. Groaning, he turned on the cold water, cupped his hands under the trickling flow and rubbed his wet hands against his tired face, hoping it would wipe away some of the grime and hangover. He always felt so soiled the morning after a show. Reaching for a towel to dry his face and neck, he looked at himself in the mirror again. His eyes were puffy, his hair a greasy mess. A rosy hue began to seep into his pale cheeks again. No matter how he felt the next morning, every night he had a show was worth it; the cheering crowds, the applause, the recognition, and oh, the women. He savored every bit of it. Smirking to himself, he tossed the towel onto the counter. The towel caused the ceramic soap dispenser and toothbrush caddy to clink together, a sound similar to Kagome's tinkling laugh.
For a fleeting moment, he thought of her.
And helped me
heal, pieced me back into a whole
Now it's you who is aching and
needs to be consoled
But can't you see I'm happy now?
I don't
want to sit and watch you cry
I wish you'd keep it all inside
It had been a while since he heard from her. Every once in a while he would receive a voice mail. "Hi Inuyasha, just calling to see how you're doing. I heard you've been doing a lot of shows lately. That's great. I'm okay I guess. sniffle I'm glad things are going well for you." Her voice was small and sad, as if someone was muffling it and she had cotton balls in her throat. Sometimes he saw her call come in and actively ignored it. Her problems were a buzz kill and he didn't have time to sit and play therapist with her. Inuyasha felt a pang of guilt at this memory but shook it off. 'It's better for her to face it on her own' he thought.
Yes you're in
anguish; do you think that you're the first?
Since when am I
indentured to be your private nurse?
Maybe this callousness is a
form of love that I extend
Because I know if you face the hurt
alone you'll be stronger in the end
So don't play off my
conscience like I should wipe away your tears
Just let your
burdens fall on someone else's ears
"But Kagome, you have to be strong and believe in yourself. You don't need my help, you're a strong woman. I know you can handle it on your own. Listen, I gotta go. Bye!" Another phone call to reassure her. The voice mails had increased this week and, feeling a hint of guilt for not calling her back, Inuyasha had picked up his cell phone and dialed her number. She sounded sullen and distant, not the same Kagome he knew that had helped him through the rough waters before his band started taking off. What happened to the woman with such a vibrant light to her? Sad Kagome was a sure fire buzz kill. He wished she'd get over her problems soon so he could have happy, laughing Kagome back.
I don't know how
long I can sit with you this time
The suffering in your life
shrouds the joy in mine
So maybe you should just call me when this
sadness finally ends
and you're ready to laugh again
On the overstuffed
mocha colored couch in Kagome's living room he sat with his hands
clasped together as his elbows rested on his knees. He was looking
over at her, waiting for her to continue as silent tears streaked
down her face. It bothered him that she was hurting – but it was
more of an annoying type of bother. Things were going so well for
him, he didn't need her problems added to his. Why should he spend
his precious time with her if she was just going to sit there and
cry? "I'm sorry Kagome, I wish there was more I could do for
you," he said, glancing at his watch, "but I have a rehearsal in
20 minutes across town. You understand, right?" Anything to escape
the tears and the puffy, red eyes that seemed to bore a hole right
through him.
Spare me the
drama, do you think that you're the first?
Since when am I
indentured to be your private nurse?
Sometimes detachment is the
thing we need the most
And if you'd consider me you'd veil this
pain you host
So don't play off my conscience like
I should
help you through your fears
Just let your burdens fall on someone
else's ears
"But I was there when you needed me," she cried, the tears increasingly cascading down her face, "why can't you stay? I don't understand, Inuyasha."
"Alright, look. I'm
too busy for this and I don't have time to sit here and listen to
you cry and complain about everything that's wrong in your life.
Get up and do something about it or find someone else to listen to
your 'Poor Kagome' story. I can't take it anymore. I have an
important show to be preparing for and you're really killing my
mood." He walked out on her that night. Possibly the night she
needed him most.
Because tonight
a hundred pretty people were waiting in a line
to wash away the
guilt you gave me,
they said the concert was sublime
While you
were shaking in some corner
with your spirit ripped in half
I
was backstage fielding praise and signing autographs
"Wooooo!! You guys rock!!" a group of inebriated college frats yelled as they ordered another round from the waitress.
"You were so awesome up there," a petite red head sultrily drawled. He could tell she had probably had one too many drinks but he didn't care. She was in awe of him which meant he was finally progressing down the road to stardom.
"I can tell you're
going to be famous some day. Can I have your autograph?" she asked,
grin flashing across her face and her eyes dazedly looked at him in
the dim lighting of the bar. Ah, admiration. He could see it in her
eyes even in the poor lighting. He knew it was important to get a
good following of dedicated fans, especially if it included beautiful
women. This show had truly been fruitful and he was more than happy
to chat up the pretty women clustered around the bar where he and his
band mates were having a celebratory drink following a break through
performance.
So if you want
my attention, you'd better join the crowd and cheer
And let your
burdens fall on someone else's ears
Collapsing back onto his bed after coming out of the bathroom, he reached for his phone on the nightstand. Flipping it open he realized his ringer hand been on silent. Three missed calls: Kagome, Kagome, and Kagome. One voice mail. Before listening, what he had said to her last night echoed in his memory. "I'm too busy for this and I don't have time to sit here and listen to you cry and complain about everything that's wrong in your life. Get up and do something about it or find someone else to listen to your 'Poor Kagome' story."Groaning, he reached back and grabbed his pillow. Mashing it down onto his face he prayed to god he would be able to hear her voice one more time. He really messed up after she had been by his side through all of his rough times.
"Hi Inuyasha. I hope your show went well tonight. I spent the night watching old reruns of Friends. shaky sigh I wish I had someone to talk to… but I guess you're busy" and the voice mail ended. Her voice was quiet, strained and sounded rough; she had been crying. 'Fuck,' he thought to himself. What kind of friend was he? She needed him; needed his support, love, and strength and he pushed her away. He told her she can deal with it herself.
Disgusted with his
selfishness, he threw the pillow across the room where it fwumped
against the wall and fell to the floor. 'I need to fix this' he
said to himself. Not even bothering to change out of his clothes from
last night that he had apparently fallen asleep in, Inuyasha grabbed
his car keys and left his apartment to pay Kagome back for all that
she had given him in his time of need.
For three months
in '92 when I was such a wreck
I spent endless evenings with my
face draped against your neck
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This has been tumbling
through my mind for months now. This song is "Someone
Else's Ears" by Stuart Davis.
I have been in love with this song since I first heard it when I was about 12 years old.
Audio track can be listened to at or
