Author's Note: This is one of my contributions to the 25 Days of Richonne event put together by Richonne Just Desserts. I hope you enjoy!
let your heart be light
They can't know for sure when Christmas is. They lost track of exact dates long ago, and all they have left is best guesses and estimations. But the Virginia air gets more cold and brisk every day, and snow starts to swirl through the air on gloomy mornings, and Santa is all Judith's been able to talk about since Carl read her The Polar Express a few weeks ago. Life has been quiet and peaceful and falling into patterns that can almost qualify as normal, and as things settle and shuffle they realize that maybe they can stop worrying and being on edge for at least a little while, and make room for things like holidays again.
They make room for Christmas.
They decide that it's the first of December, and give everyone twenty-five days to make preparations - to plan dinners and parties and grab bags, to make and scavenge for gifts, to try and recapture that marvel and wonder that used to permeate the air during the holiday season years ago. To try and find what it's like to feel like that again, to figure out if they even can.
Aaron lets them know that Alexandria was a Christmas mecca back in the old world, decked out just like all those cozy suburbs found in cheesy Christmas movies, sparkling and picture-perfect. He mentions the decorations that are probably left in the basements and attics of the empty houses, and so he splits up the houses between him and Maggie, Eugene, Carol, Tara, and Abraham, who, to everyone's surprise, has fallen into the holiday spirit more easily than anyone in the community, save for Judith. They plan to have all the tinsel and lights and wreaths and everything else they find gathered by the end of the week, placed in the church for everyone to come and take what they please in order to turn their houses into makeshift winter wonderlands.
Michonne is walking home from watch duty one evening when she passes Maggie walking out a front door with a cardboard box in her arms. She stops and watches her place the box down on the porch next to a pile of identical ones. Michonne catches her gaze as Maggie stands up straight and smiles, and they walk towards each other as Maggie pushes strands of her brown hair that have fallen loose from her ponytail.
"You look tired," Michonne tells her as they give each other a soft hug, and when they pull back from each other, Maggie laughs.
"I am tired. But at least I don't gotta take the boxes down to the church after I'm done with each house. Abraham's gonna come around tonight and gather everything up to take over. I just have one more house left 'til i finish the street," Maggie says, pointing to her left at the house on the corner, "and then I'm calling it quits for the day."
Michonne opens her mouth to answer, but just then Rosita jogs up to them to let Maggie know that Glenn just got back from the run he's been on for the past two days with Morgan and Sasha. Maggie bites her lip as her eyes dart back and forth between the front gate and the house she has left.
Michonne smirks and puts her hand on Maggie's shoulder.
"Go find Glenn. I'll finish your last house."
Maggie's face lifts, but she still asks Michonne if she's sure before pulling her into another hug, pressing a kiss onto her cheek and murmuring, "Thanks, 'Chonne," before scurrying off to see her husband. Michonne watches her walk off for a moment and then changes course to walk towards the house at the end of the street.
It's quiet when she walks in, and lonely, and a chill runs through her as she thinks of the way it so starkly contrasts with comfort and brightness of her home with Rick, Carl, and Judith. The air around her smells stale and tastes like dust and she coughs while fanning in front of her face with her hand.
It's as she's walking up the stairs to check the attic that she realizes that her life - that she herself - used to be just like this house: cold and empty, a shell, a relic, neglected and abused and almost entirely forgotten. Her hand tightens around the banister for a moment, but then she makes herself remember Rick and Carl and Judith, the love and the beauty and the life that fills her now, and her insides unclench and she smiles.
She finds the decorations in the attic and spends the next twenty minutes bringing box after box down the stairs and into the middle of the living room before sitting down in an armchair to catch her breath. She's about to get up and start the second leg of her journey - taking everything out onto the porch - when she remembers Eugene asking everyone to test the strands of Christmas lights to make sure they still lit up. So instead she stretches and crawls onto the floor, running her hand over a plane of the dirty cardboard in front of her before starting her search.
It's like she's on an archaeological dig rather than rummaging through boxes from someone's attic - or at least, that's how she feels as she finds stocking and snowglobes, advent calendars and ornaments and reindeer figurines. She's just set aside one filled with gift tags and bows and ribbon and gift-wrapping tape when she opens the next box to find a collection of vinyl Christmas records. She pauses as she lifts one out at random, ghosting her fingers over the fun fonts and reds and greens that adorn the sleeve, and then almost on instinct glances around the room, eyes landing on what looks like a record player sitting just to the right of the fireplace as she slips the record out of its cover and walks across the room.
She smiles slightly as she puts the record on to play and the first plucky guitar strings echo into the room, accompanied by the singer's soft, sweet voice. It's like she's transported back in time, to dancing to her grandfather's old records in her grandparents' living room while he laughed and clapped along, singing in the kitchen with her mother and sister while they baked Christmas cookies.
She's so wrapped up in the music that she doesn't hear the door open, but she doesn't miss the sharp click of boots against the hardwood floor. Still, she doesn't turn around, because she knows it's him. She could pick out the sound of Rick's stride from miles away, so she closes her eyes and lets the music swirl around in her head as he walks up behind her and wraps an arm around her waist.
"What'cha doing?" he says, in that soft country twang that she loves so much, and that still makes her stomach flip, even now.
"Hmmm, Maggie wanted to get all the decorations out of this house today, but Glenn was back. So I told her to go see him and I'd finish it for her." She leans back into him, reaches around to scratch her fingers against his scalp soothingly, as she asks him, "What are you doing?"
"You weren't home on time, so I was going to the gate to make sure everything was okay. But Maggie flagged me down and told me you were here. So I came to see you."
"I would've been home soon," she tells him, as he hooks his chin over her shoulder and presses a kiss onto her collar bone.
"I know," he whispers, squeezing her a little tighter. "But I missed you."
She smiles wider, and grabs and holds the arm he has snaked around her.
"You having fun sorting through all this Christmas stuff?"
"It's strange," she tells him, as she turns in his arms so she can look at him. "It's like it's all from this different era, or universe, or something. I know it's only a few years old, but everything seems so foreign. I'm so disconnected from all of it, you know?"
He gives her a half-smile and nods.
"Well, hopefully with all these holiday events and activities they're planning for us over the next couple of weeks, by the time Christmas actually gets here it won't feel so weird."
She hums in agreement, trying to hold back her grin at the fact he's shown himself to be a willing participant in all their plans so far. Any misgivings she herself had felt at first were wiped away completely the first time Judith ran up to her with her book in hand and started telling her all about Santa the best she could with the words she knew, and she knew it had been the same for Rick.
"I found this little stuffed reindeer in one of the boxes and set it aside so we can wrap it up for Judith."
"Good," he says. "We're not gonna have a lot to give her, but I just want her to have a few things to open that morning."
They fall quiet, but stay in place, holding each other and listening to the music filled with bells and lyrics about Christmas spirit and lights and laughter. The song fades and another starts up, one that's slower and softer and simpler. She closes her eyes and lays her head on Rick's chest.
After a few moments, she feels him begin to move against her.
She lifts her head up, and he stares back at her, the look in his eyes almost bashful, the smallest smile turning up the corners of his lips.
"What are you doing?" she asks him, and he bites his lip against his growing smile as he turns his head from her. There's just enough light in the room from the lantern she has burning and the single strand of Christmas lights she'd been testing when she found the the records and forgotten to unplug for her to see the way his skin flushes pink.
"Rick," she asks again, her tone playful, though her confusion and curiosity are very real.
He turns back to her and tightens his arms around her as he begins to sway them in more pronounced movements.
"I'm dancing with you."
Her answering smile is so wide that she can feel her cheeks begin to hurt, and she immediately wraps her arms around him.
"Didn't take you as someone who liked to dance."
"I'm not. I never was," he says, taking one of his hands off her waist so he can cup her face. "But I don't mind dancing with you."
Her heart fills with warmth, and she stands on her tiptoes to press a kiss against his cheek before relaxing into him and closing her eyes once again.
They sway back and forth together in the middle of the room, the only noise coming from the music playing over the stereo and the sound of their breathing. They're wasting electricity, she knows, but she can't bring herself to feel guilty about it. Instead, she snuggles further into his chest, inhaling his scent and listening to the sound of his heartbeat as it pumps under her.
"This doesn't feel weird," he murmurs, and she smiles as she thinks back to all the garland and wreaths and bulbs and bells she told him felt so odd to her.
"No," she agrees, pressing a kiss onto his shoulder. "This feels perfect."
The song they're dancing to is "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by She & Him.
Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out the rest of the 25 Days of Richonne fics! The first one was posted yesterday, and one will be posted every day until Christmas.
xoxo,
Rebekah
