Front & Center
"You know this is hard for me," Maura whispered as they sat on the rocks looking out at the ocean. The Jane took a deep breath, it fresh and crisp, Jane was almost certain she could taste fall in the air.
"I know," Jane paused, "But you need to talk to me, Maura. You need to tell me what you are feeling. You can't bottle emotions like they are some kind of fine wine, waiting to be opened for the right occasion." Jane moved closer. She took Maura's hand in her own and softly placed the other on Maura's chin, tilting her head, eyes meeting.
When asked later, Jane would say she wasn't sure what force drove her, but ever so slowly she leaned forward and lightly caressed her lips to Maura's. Their mouths met and for that one moment they forget everything else, everything but each other. Their lips danced in a burning passion, neither willing to let go. Time stopped for both women.
Maura broke away first, regaining her senses she pulled back creating a logical distance between them. A single tear formed in her eyes as she hung her head. She couldn't look up. She suddenly became fascinated with the small gray stone neat her feet.
"Jane," and Jane could hear it in Maura's voice. The 'but', even though Jane was certain Maura felt this pull too, would have bet her life on it, and at times had done just that.
"We can't do this Jane. I can't be with you, not like that," Maura said.
"Do you love me?" Jane asked softly.
"Why are you doing this?" Nothing about this was rational. Jane was acting neither reasonable nor sound.
"Do you love me?" Jane asked again, this time with a hint of fear, and pride in her voice. What if she had been wrong, misunderstanding everything they had been sharing? The hugs, the embraces, the nights spent together outside of work, away from the world, just the two of them. No. No Jane was certain she wasn't wrong.
"Yes," she said softly, "You know I love you, Jane. You're my best friend. This is ridiculous. Why are we even having this conversation?"
"Do I look crazy to you Maura?"
"No. No you appear quite lucid."
"It isn't as silly as you think it is," Jane said proudly.
"This won't happen. I can't!" Maura said adamantly. "I can't."
"Why is that? Why is it that you look everywhere for love, but you won't look right in front of you? Don't you see? I've been here all along?" Jane asked. Her eyes pleaded with Maura to understand.
"It's not that simple, Jane. I don't want…I can't. I don't know what to say?"
"At least I know you love me," Jane said softly. She felt triumphant in that small area. Jane stood. She took a breath and closed her eyes, centering herself. Slowly, she turned and began to walk.
"Where are you going? Are you running from me already?" Maura called out. She was so angry; she could feel it to her core. How dare Jane kiss her, proclaim her love, and then just walk away.
"I'm not running. I'm walking. Sooner or later you will figure out what you want, Maura. I just hope it won't be too late," Jane said. She'd had enough of the games, the half truths. Maura needed to decide who and what she wanted. And for the first time in her life, Jane wasn't going to let herself be played. Not by a man. Not by her job. And not by Maura.
"I never…" she began to say before she realized she was standing alone. All alone.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Sleep came to Jane easily that night. It seemed as though a small burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Jane knew she had loved Maura for some time. In fact, she was certain that she had loved her the first time they had met. It wasn't just because she was beautiful. Jane genuinely loved Maura for the woman she was. Her smart intellect. Her cunning way with words, her dedication to her work, friends, family. Jane loved all of her.
Jane had planned to tell her for a long time how he felt, but it never seemed right. But today at the beach as they walked, laughed, and shared dreams she knew it was the right time.
The kiss she had not planned for. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But Maura actually kissed her back. Jane didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't that, no, she kissed her back.
Kissed.
Oh what a kiss.
That kiss sent her mind whirling. Sure she had kissed plenty of people in her time, well okay, not plenty but more than enough…but none of them she wanted with both her mind and soul, none she loved like this. Tomorrow would surely be an interesting day indeed Jane thought as she closed her eyes and relished in the moment of the kiss. Sweet dreams would grace her this evening, no doubt about it.
Maura knocked at Jane's door. It had to have been after 2 in the morning. Jane answered surprised to see Maura standing there still dressed in the clothes she had worn that day. "Maura?" Jane rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't asleep.
"We need to talk Jane. Now," Maura said walking into Jane's apartment. Jane could tell by her friends expression this was nowhere near an open debate. Maura knew she needed to speak to Jane now, while the thoughts and feelings of this whole event were still fresh in her mind.
Tbc…
So what do you think? Keep going with it? Did you like it? Please let me know. Thanks.
