She knew that her mum and Karim would be staying at hospital that night with the baby, so she didn't worry about Finn leaving before they came home. He was worried though, she could tell. "Stop ya bloody squirming, would ya!" She chastised through a laugh and her ever-expanding smile.
He groaned turning his head, tucking it into her neck, "I'm sorry," he grumbled, his breath hot against her neck, the same place he'd sucked a hickey onto just an hour before. "I've just…never really done this."
Well what in the fuck was that supposed to mean? "Do you…" Rae pushed herself up against the pillows so that she was nearly sitting straight up, "do you wanna leave?" Rae's voice broke slightly. She knew it was all to good to be true. had he actually wanted this? At least before she took off her clothes. Had he figured it out halfway through?
"Rae," he propped himself onto his elbow and she could feel him looking up at her but she completely ignored him. All she could think about was how bad her chins must of looked from that angle, and how if he said yes… well if he wanted to leave she'd let him, of course she would, but if he left all of it would have been for not. She'd most likely never be able to be naked in front of a boy ever again. Not. Ever. "Look at meh, girl," his voice was stronger, less careful, more demanding.
It took a terribly long time for her to find his eyes in the dark room, mostly because she was afraid of what she would see when she did. But he was looking at her in that way that he did. That he always had. Like he was somewhere between crying and screaming, but not because he was angry with her, it was always as if he were angry with himself. Like he hadn't done enough to convince her that she was perfect.
"I'm not going anywhere, don't be daft," he said with a voice like a knife that cut right through her exposed skin, scarred and straight to her heart. "I'm just… nervous I guess."
"You're nervous?" She said around a guffaw. What in the bloody hell did he have to be fucking nervous 'bout?
"Yus," he whispered to her, grabbing her hand he placed a swift kiss on her knuckles before tugging her down so that she was lying next to him again before he let go of it. He placed a quick kiss on her nose before he continued. "I'm nervous because I've nevah stayed the night wiff somebody."
"Never?"
"No. I've always left right after. You're the first person I've ever shared a bed with for more than an hour. Well, beside the mates when we were younger."
"But we've done this before," she pushed his fringe back from where it'd fallen in his eyes, "why are you so nervous now?"
Finn went red to his ears, which was a nice change up in their couple dynamic, saying as it was usually her who went red. She found his hand where it laid between them on top of the duvet. It was in a fist, but his fingers seemed to flex on instinct when he felt hers brush against his knuckles. "Honestly?"
"Honestly."
He looked up at her sheepish, "I know you said they'd be at hospital till tomorrow, but I'm terrified of your mum walkin' in 'ere. I'm afraid she'll go all momma bear on me, and I'll have to run out of here in my boxers, or butt ass naked. I honestly don't think I could live with that sort of embarrassment."
She thought he'd been thinking of darting out, but this whole thing was because he didn't want her mum to see him in his pants? "Are you even serious right now?" She laughed loud, so loud she was sure that Mrs. Dewhurst could hear her, but she couldn't give less of a shit. Finn just blushed harder as she continued to laugh. "All this 'cause you're scared me mum will see ya in your pants?"
"Hush," he smiled, still blushing brightly. They were both laughing now, facing each other on the bed, and every time their gazes met they'd just laugh harder. In the dark light of her new bedroom, with the boy she loved next to her, both in their post sex haze, giggling about the stupidest shit imaginable Rae was sure she was the happiest she'd ever been. It wasn't just the sex thing. It was the fact that she had finally bared herself to another human being. She no longer carried the singular load of herself, by herself. Part of her was Finn's now, and part of Finn was all hers. It wasn't like it was before. Or at least it wouldn't be. She had been able to show him all of her; being together at college would be a fuckin' breeze after that.
Their laughs turned into giggles that quickly subsided, the fatigue finally hitting them. The gravitated closer to each other, pressed into one another. Finn turned on his side, throwing an arm across her waist, his hand ghosting along the gentle curve of her back. Their breathing slowed to a matching pace. They were close to sleep, eyelids no longer fluttering, they remained closed as each of them recalled images of earlier and smiled as they approached sleep.
Finn was thinking about the very beginning of the night, when he thought that this was going to be over before it had even begun. Then how much love he'd felt when she'd finally (finally!) dropped that terrible rainbow robe of hers, the sound of it hitting the ground like a million angels singing. The image of her apprehensive smile danced across his eyelids, reminding him of how much courage that took. He was so proud of her, unbelievably, fucking proud of her and he needed to remind her of that one more time before the night turned over into day.
He dragged a finger down her side, carving out letters onto her ivory skin. He felt her breath pick up again as she concentrated on what he was spelling.
He didn't open his eyes, he was far too gone for such a task, but he could tell she was smiling when she said, "I love you too, ya knob'ead."
