Once Upon A Mary-Sue
Once upon a time,
Once upon a tune,
The stars did fall from the sky
Downwards they were bound!
And from these stars,
And from these skies,
Emerged a thousand teenage girls –
All made to astound!
Now, perfect all they were
To see –
Perfectly perfect, in simple words,
Not too square nor round!
But what to name these creatures,
Not Veela – not Animagi –
That would be only to echo of their powers!
Suddenly, as we pondered, there came a sound –
The sound of a voice that crooned so sweetly –
Where did this sound arise?
And to turn, we saw –
It arose from these girls crowned!
And they spoke so innocently,
No one knew they'd be a threat –
Here's what they said, to name themselves –
"We are kin of Mary-Sue," and with these words,
Fanfiction writers in their tears now drowned!
For these beautiful creations,
Marred all of their work!
It was such a sad sight to see,
Rowling's world now a jumbled mound.
So to escape this evil,
Please take these words heed –
Don't even think of Mary-Sues
Upon which are frowned!
They only ruin your words,
They only ruin this world –
Don't even type the dreaded word
Unless in Snare you wish to be wound!
But alas, many do not listen
Many do not see
The horrid nature of these figures,
And so they do abound!
So another word of
Warning I do give –
Stay away from all of them – yes, all of them, I say –
And spread this advice profound!
