Will You Let Me Die For You?


Have you ever had one of those days where one incident has the ability to turn everything you know inside out? One of those events that sound too ridiculously over dramatized to be possible -or maybe, something you simply cannot accept? When those "stranger than fiction" moments happen, and you realize that your life will never be the same again, a sickening gut wrenching twist in the pit of your stomach will drive you to the brink of sanity with anger and frustration, sometimes seemingly just to spite you. If you have never experienced this intense force of disappointment, God bless you and pray that you never do. Because of the events of my life, I was forced to change my future for the well-being of the most obnoxious human that ever set foot on this earth! But before I tell you who this mystery person is, allow me to introduce myself: my name is Anzu Mazaki, and I am currently a part of an organization that has dedicated its whole purpose to protecting a certain CEO of the most successful gaming and technology based company in Japan: Seto Kaiba. Yes, I work for Mr. Smiles himself, and what's even better is that he is not currently aware that I am working for him. But not just working, oh no, it is my duty as a member of the KCSP to see that he is not harmed under any circumstance.

I was not always a part of this organization, but I have been involved with it -pretty inactively- for a good two years up until now. That year of my life, that one summer, changed everything. It happened when I had just graduated into the first year class of Domino High School. Three months before the school year's end I had applied to the most prestigious dance academy in Tokyo. If I had been accepted there, I would have been able to transfer over to Julliard in New York City where I would have continued to study to become a professional dancer when I reached college age. I would have been able to continue my academic studies through the school's special online program and get my degree in the mail so all of my focus could be zeroed in on dance. Sure I would have to forfeit my ability to see my friends everyday, but I was willing to make that sacrifice, even though I was fifteen. I rushed home when school was let out for summer break absolutely ecstatic about the letter. I was expecting a letter from the academy in response to my application that I sent in, praying to God that I was accepted.

I raced to the mailbox in front of our house, opening the container with shaky, anticipating hands. There were three pieces of mail: one for each of my parents and myself. The envelope that was sent to me had the logo of the dance academy decorating the front, the calligraphy of the addresses dancing on the paper. I was overjoyed to say the least, but I was also incredibly nervous at the same time. I ran inside so I could share the experience with my parents, exclaiming that I had just received a letter from the school. I handed my parents their mail and kissed them as they rushed into the room, just as excited as I was. They told me to open my letter first, but I told them that they should open theirs before mine, because I didn't want the excitement to die because of a couple of bills. They read their letters and whatever the letters said had changed our lives forever….

"Oh dear..." said a woman with long brown chocolate hair and dark grey eyes. She stood next to a man seated in a forest green, comfort chair. They both read letters that were written upon the same stationary, which led the youngest female in the room to believe that the letters were from the same sender. "Konami—"

The man interrupted the woman beside him with a solemn, "I know, I can't believe it either Ani..." his words lingering in the back of his throat. His blue sapphire eyes hidden half way behind his black disheveled hair. He sat erect in his chair, gripping his wife's hand that had once rested on his shoulder.

The youngest female in the room looked from her mother to her father, an innocent question forming itself into the front of her mind. "What's wrong?"

Ani and Konami were shocked back into the reality of the situation in their home by the sound of their daughter's innocent and concerned voice. Blue sapphire eyes looked into grey ones, communicating wordlessly with each other until a visible nod was made, a neutral agreement being made between the two adults. Ani set her letter down on the table in the middle of the room and walked over to her daughter who was now sitting down on the couch. "Anzu… dear, your father and I have something to tell you."

Anzu cocked her head to the side, curiosity filling the sapphire eyes she inherited from her father as the chocolate locks she inherited from her mother accentuated the tilt of her head. "Is there something the matter?" her voice was light, though worry was clearly heard in her voice; her parents were acting a little strange since opening their mail.

"Anzu," her father stood up, his six-foot figure towering over her and looking twice as tall. His voice was stern and his face serious while opposed to her mother who was sitting next to her on the couch holding her hands, though the same serious look graced her features, "it's about our professions."

Anzu eyes widened in shock. "You haven't been fired have you?"

Ani shook her head, "No, no. That's not it at all. What he means is, it's about our actual professions."

"Actual professions?" She looked from her mother to her father. "What do you mean by that? I thought you were a lawyer, mom. And dad is a—"

"—Police officer?" He finished for her. "I'm sorry to say that those are just cover ups."

Anzu's expression contorted in confusion. "Cover up?" She then smirked and replied sarcastically, "Oh wait; don't tell me. You're actually American CIA." When her parents stared solemnly at her in response she scowled. "You can't be serious?"

Ani sighed, "Well, then this looks like it's going to be harder than we thought."

"Indeed," responded Konami. "Anzu, please, come follow me for a moment." He walked out of the living and up the stairs, disappearing as he went around the corner.

Anzu stared after his retreating figure with no intention of actually following him. When she noticed her daughter just staring blankly after her husband, Ani led her daughter to wherever her husband had disappeared to.

Anzu was lead blindly up the stairs and to her attic entrance. She continued to remain in her haze of confusion as she was led through the hole in the ceiling and up into the dusty, tight room. She sneezed twice as she stepped into the room and stirred the settled dust on the ground. "Mom... where's Dad? Is this where he wanted to lead me?" She looked around the dark filthy room. It was unbearably hot and stuffy as there was no air circulating to produce anything fresh.

"Well... yes and no." Ani said, dragging out her words. Anzu only looked at her strangely. "Come, I'll show you where your father is." She took her daughter by the hand once more before guiding her to the back of the attic. It was even smaller and more cramped, but before they reached the back, Ani stopped her and touched something that Anzu couldn't see. She didn't know if it was because it was so dark that she couldn't see whatever her mother was doing, but Anzu highly doubted it.

Before Ani could finish whatever it was that she was doing, a bright light appeared out of nowhere, blinding Anzu for a few seconds. When she opened her eyes and adjusted them to the sudden bright light, she saw the silhouette of her father standing before her.

"Anzu" her father said with the utmost stern expression Anzu had even seen. "When you walk into this room, you must, I repeat, you MUST NOT speak of what you see! What you are about to witness is highly confidential and even dangerous. You're life will no longer be normal once you step in here."

Anzu, if not confused before, was most definitely bewildered now! "What the hell is going on here? What is in that room? And just what are you guys thinking keeping a secret room up here that I don't know about? Let alone see!"

Ani jerked Anzu. "Don't you ever use that tone of voice young lady! We are your parents and have a life of our own. There are many things that you don't know about and probably wouldn't have to find out about if we didn't receive orders from above to tell you." Her mother looked at her harshly, her grey eyes almost swirling like the eye of a hurricane.

Anzu gulped and nodded. "Forgive me, I was out of place when I said that. It's just that... I'm confused and a little scared. Where are you guys going with this?"

Ani and Konami exchanged another glance and nodded. "Come in Anzu, we will explain everything once you're inside."

Anzu nodded solemnly and walked in, side-by-side with her mother.

Once inside, Anzu was struck dumb by her surroundings. White, high-tech computers lined the oddly black painted walls. A low whine from the computers could be heard and several monitors were on and active, seemingly gathering information. In the middle of the small room was a small mahogany table with a decorated midnight blue tablecloth with stars and dark water in which dolphins leapt mysteriously out of the water and into the night sky, dancing in the light of the moon. That was the only thing that was decorated in the entire room. Everything else was plain. She looked at the table again and saw a picture lying on the table; a picture of a very handsome boy that looked no older than Anzu was. She knew his face from somewhere, but couldn't quite place it. "Mom? Dad? Who is that in the picture?" she asked, bending down to pick it up, staring at it.

"You see dear, that's the thing we have to tell you."

Anzu looked at them, clearly not understanding where this was going. "Do tell."

"You may want to sit down." Anzu leaned against the mahogany table, ready to listen to the explanation to what her parents were about to give.

Her father sighed, preparing for a long discussion that he would have rather avoided. "Well, first off, like I said before, the jobs your mother and I have are cover ups for our real jobs. Our real jobs are actually pretty much what you said earlier."

"What you mean about the whole American CIA thing?" She was feeling very confused right now.

This time, her mother stepped in. "Yes well, that's not exactly what your father and I do, but it is pretty close. You see Anzu," she took in a deep breath as well apparently trying to calm down, "your father and I are a part of a secret organization that is dedicated to the protection of the CEO of KaibaCorp. That is, Seto Kaiba."

Anzu blinked once... twice... thrice... "What? I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're saying?"

"Anzu, what we are trying to tell you is that we are not who you think we are ," said her father point-blank. "We are secret police with one mission and one mission only: protect the current owner of Kaiba Corporation from any and all threats. That's what your mother and I do. It is our duty as part of the KCSP."

Anzu did a double-take. "The what?"

"Kaiba Corporation Secret Police. We were originally founded and put together by the original Kaiba who had founded KaibaCorp: Gozaburo Kaiba—"

"Hold it!" She put her hand up to stop her parents from going any farther. Seto Kaiba she may not know, but Gozaburo Kaiba was definitely a name she remembered. He was the billionaire who sold military grade weapons -at least that's what she remembered from her modern history class. "Gozaburo Kaiba? How- why are you working for him?"

"We're not working for him, however this organization was put together by him before he went, as your generation would put it, psycho. You see, to give you a little background information, Kaiba had just finished putting together his corporation and was expecting it to be very successful. He also had just been married and was expecting a child soon. Well, his company took off faster than the Bullet Train and soon he was the wealthiest man in all of Japan. Not long after, his wife gave birth to a son. Being the man that he was at the time, he wanted to make sure that he and his family were completely protected from outside harm; and so he put together the KCSP in order to ensure his safety as a CEO and that of his family."

Anzu nodded, slowly taking all of this in one piece at a time.

"However," her mother continued for her dad, "Kaiba had kept this a secret from his family and employees at his headquarters. For some odd reason, he wanted to keep the KCSP a secret from the media and public. He knew that any information that was leaked out into the public would grab the attention of the media and more possible assassins in the future."

Anzu didn't quite understand. "Why would learning about a secret organization that protects someone draw more killers?"

"Well, since he built military weapons, he had a lot of enemies so any additional protection that was kept out of sight acted as the hidden deadbolt in the door. Even if assassins were able to get past his public security detail they wouldn't be able to fight the shadow guard that even his family didn't know about."

"Oh I see. I understand that now. But what I still don't understand... Why did Gozaburo not tell his family about it?"

Her father shrugged. "His reasons for not telling them remain unknown to everyone in the organization. Some agents claim that he was nothing but a worry wart about the whole and that he liked his privacy way too much! But whatever the case was, it's needless to say that the man was paranoid beyond rationalization."

"Yeah, I can see that. But then how did he choose who to put in the organization? In fact, how many were on the team originally?"

"Originally, Kaiba chose the offspring of the five men he trusted the most. There were very few people that Kaiba trusted at this time, but the ones that he trusted greatly were all older men. Thankfully, they all had offspring in their early to late twenties. They agreed to their position and now they are currently the heads of the organization. They will soon be passing on their leadership to either their children or to the ones they believe will be most dedicated to our mission."

"All right... but what about other members? Wasn't this supposed to be a secret organization? How is it that others found out about it? In fact, why did this organization survive after Gozaburo committed suicide? Shouldn't they have disbanded?"

"To answer your first question about there being other members and the organization being kept a secret: yes. The KCSP remains to be a secret even to today. The way we gained other members is through a code or motto if you will. 'If an outsider should ever find out about the existence of the organization, then they must swear their loyal services to the Kaiba family for the rest of their lives. They must protect the Kaiba family even at the cost of their own lives. The name Kaiba comes before you: their family before your family; their lives before your lives. If they refuse, then drastic action must be taken in order to keep the secret forever.'" Konami's face was stern and his voice hardened.

Anzu's eyes narrowed suspiciously, not liking where this was going. "What exactly do you mean by 'drastic action'?"

Ani took in a staggered breath before answering. "You see dear, once an outsider discovers the existence of the KCSP they have a choice: one, become a part of the organization and dedicate their lives to protecting and serving the Kaiba family or two... take the secret to an early grave."

Anzu paled. "WHAT! An early grave? You're joking right? Please tell me you're joking!" Ani's and Konami's faces remained grim. "My god... MY GOD! What the hell is wrong with this organization? Can't they keep a secret WITHOUT killing anybody? No wonder it's a secret, nobody wants to tell because they know their life is on the line if they do!" Anzu exclaimed, completely disgusted with what she had just learned. "How did this thing even stay together? I thought that it would have fallen out after Gozaburo's suicide."

Konami was silent for a moment, contemplating his words before he said anything. "That's what the members of the KCSP thought as well. But, instead of disbanding, they continued to remain in action, protecting the CEO of the corporation even after Kaiba died. I asked one of the heads about it before. His reply was something like: 'We couldn't protect the original owner from himself, so we're trying to make amends with this new CEO. We have to protect the CEO and his family from any and all dangers, including themselves.' I was actually moved by his words."

Anzu snorted. "Yeah, I bet. That's very touching and moving and all... but what about you two? How did you guys get roped into this?" They both blushed, crimson painting their cheeks as Anzu sweat-dropped again. "Am I going to regret hearing this tale?"

"Uh... huh, well now. Actually, that's a... um," Konami cleared his throat, "very interesting story. You see... when your mother and I were very young, just out of college, we—"

Anzu, once again, put her hand up to stop him from going on. "That's okay Dad, I don't need to know the details. Just say what actually happened please and spare me the 'life lesson' that is to be learned from that." Anzu asked in an almost pleading tone.

"We were making out in the attic and then stumbled upon the door."

"ANI!" protested a very crimson Konami.

"It opened and we fell in... ah-hah, boy were my parents surprised!"

Anzu was shocked silent for a few moments before: "AHHHHH! MENTAL IMAGE! DID NOT NEED! DID NOT NEED!" she cried out, covering her eyes. "I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

Ani went over to her cringing daughter, red covering her cheeks before hitting her back. "Oh that's enough! You're fifteen for crying out loud! Act your age, you're not a little kid anymore!" She said sternly, though clearly still embarrassed.

"I'm sorry mom, but the mental image of you two just... never mind. I don't even want to FINISH that sentence." She sighed, getting back to the topic at hand. "Anyway, so, does this mean that I'll have to become a part of this organization? Not that I really have a choice right?" She asked bitterly.

Konami sighed, "Anzu… I—" Anzu looked away from him, clearly not happy with the obvious decision that has been made for her. "I'm sorry. Please believe me when I say that I am. But we really need your help. We've had orders from the top to tell you about KCSP because they need your help."

Anzu looked at her dad now, confusion once again making itself too comfortable on her face. "What? Why would they want me?"

Ani stepped in to answer. "Because you will have a close connection with Seto Kaiba -the new CEO of Kaiba Corporation."

Anzu stared at them. "Close connection? With a CEO? You've got to be kidding me… how is that even possible? I don't even know the guy!"

Ani nodded her head. "That may be true now Anzu, but not for long. You're going to transfer into Domino High School right?" When Anzu's reluctant silence remained, Ani simply sighed and continued. "That is going to be the same high school that the young CEO will be attending."

Anzu's eyes widened in disbelief. "What? Wait... you really mean that he's my age..." She let that sink in for a moment. The CEO of a major company was going to be attending the local private school that was less than twenty minutes from her house. Needless to say, she was confused. "Why doesn't he just get a private tutor? If he's really the CEO of Kaiba Corporation, why would he need to go to school in the first place?"

Konami replied, "For the plain and simple fact that even though he is successful and has a powerful mind, he is still a fifteen year old boy who needs to graduate high school. His business partners would lose respect for him if he didn't at least obtain his graduation certificate."

Anzu scrunched her nose in disapproval. "That's not fair. He's the CEO of a successful business, that alone should be enough to earn their respect!" Ani and Konami simply smiled in amusement at their daughter's declaration. Seeing their grins, she tilted her head in wonderment. "What? Did I say something funny?"

Ani placed a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder. "No, it's just- well, you'll understand when you're older. The business world is not as simple as you think it is my dear." Anzu opened her mouth to ask her mother what she meant, however Ani placed a finger over her daughter's lips and shook her head. "It's just something you're going to have to learn on your own."

Anzu nodded and remained silent, thinking over everything she has just learned. "So, what exactly would this KC...organization need from me?"

"According to this letter," spoke Konami as he reached for the paper he placed on the desk, "you will need to enroll in the same school as Kaiba and get close to him somehow."

"You mentioned that earlier. What exactly do you mean by 'get close'?" Anzu questioned, feeling slightly uncomfortable about where this particular conversation could go.

Sensing her discomfort, Konami eased her mind with his reply, "Just try to be his friend, or at the very least an acquaintance. As members of this organization -as you put it- we can't get too close to the CEO because we don't want him to know who we are and what we do. You have to remain as incognito as possible about it, but you also have to remember your full responsibility to him."

Anzu sighed in relief. "I suppose I can do that. I'm all for making friends and everything, but the last thing I want is to be a stalker."

Her mother smiled in amusement again, "Don't worry sweetheart. No one is asking that of you...yet", she added the last part quietly so Anzu wouldn't hear.

Konmai, who had explained everything the best he could at that time, felt it was time to press his daughter for an answer. "Well Anzu? Now that you know the situation and you know your choices... what will you choose?" He knew his daughter and had faith in her, but he was hesitant about her choice. He knew her judgement was sound and was fairly certain which option she would choose, but she was still young. He didn't want his precious only daughter getting caught up in such a complicated complex of businessmen, intelligence, and scientific advancement. He wanted her to lead a normal life so she could go on to fulfill her dream. He briefly glanced at his wife, who wanted the same thing as he did. But the choice was up to Anzu now; her life was -quite blatantly- in her own hands. "Anzu?"

Anzu looked down away from her parents' faces, lost in thought. They must really need me then. Making her final decision, Anzu nodded. "All right. I'll do it."

Ani and Konami both released a tightly held breath that neither realized they were holding. "Oh thank you Anzu! Thank you," She embraced her daughter, relieved to know that no execution orders were going to be made that night."Thank you so much my sweet, sweet daughter." Anzu was a little taken aback by her mother's sudden display of affection, but before she could return the hug, her father had crossed the small room and patted the top of her head.

"That's my girl," he said, his smile both happy and somewhat worried. "Now that you've made the decision, it's time for your initiation." He walked over to the computer and started it up, preparing to initiate his daughter in as a KCSP guardian.

Ani released her daughter so she could sit down as Anzu summarized everything from the passed fifteen minutes of her life out loud. "Okay, so I need to be a part of this organization in order to protect this kid CEO -and whatever family he has- from all dangers because the former CEO killed himself and this KCSP has placed the strict obligation on itself to makeup for their failures with the previous CEO. Right..." She looked at her dad who's attention was focused on her- he almost looked like he was expecting something. Putting the thought aside, Anzu continued along her train of though. "So, all I have to do is make friend's with this Kaiba guy and go to the same school? Well, I guess that w- wait! What about my dancing? What about the academy I applied to?" She pleaded with her eyes looking frantically back and forth from her mother to her father, who's eyes had fallen to the floor. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes as her heart twisted painfully in her chest. "Mom? Dad?"

Her dad sighed. "I'm sorry honey..."

Anzu was distraught. It's the only thing she's been dreaming about for the past fifteen years of her life! And then suddenly her dreams were to be snatched away from her by some little secret that she didn't even really care about? No, she would not stand for this.

"No! No, I will not let this dream go!" She turned away from her parents and covered her ears, a sign of withdrawal. "That academy is my ticket to New York; that's where my dreams will come true. Why do I have to give it up for some rich snob who won't even know I'm there to keep him safe!" She was hurt and feeling betrayed by everyone and everything in that one moment. She inherited a secret she didn't ask to know about to protect some stranger she knew nothing about and had to give up a passion that she breathed, lived, and dreamed about. Life had officially shown how cruel it could be to her and she inwardly cursed the fates that laughed at her pain.

"Why...why does it have to be now, right when everything was going so well?" She cried, she cried long and hard. "It's not fair!"

Ani shook her daughter by the shoulders. "Anzu! Anzu dear look at me. Look at me!" Anzu peaked around to her mother and stared at her. "Don't lose yourself right now! Stay calm. You can still dance! Maybe not at that academy as a student, but other dance studios in the area."

"But mom, I—"

"No 'buts' dear. Now listen. Yes, you are, from here on out, required to protect Kaiba in secret, but you are also, in a way, free to do whatever you want here. They have a high class dance studio right here in Domino and once you graduate high school you will most likely be released from your duties from following Kaiba so closely so you can still go to that academy after you graduate high school." Anzu's wailing had subsided, silent tears rolling down her cheeks now. "You see, you can always go there. It's not Julliard I know and it's not the timing you wanted, but still it's better than nothing right?" Anzu looked down, but nodded. Her mother was right. She couldn't let this little inauguration get her down. She'd just have to be patient, right?

Ani looked at her husband who had been staring at them for a while. She nodded to let him proceed. Konami, walked cautiously over to his daughter and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Come on, we have to let them know that you agree." Anzu nodded silently and stood up, following her dad over to one of the many flashing monitors. He hit the spacebar, getting a sign-in screen to pop up. Konami signed in and once he was in clicked around on the screen for a few moments before letting Anzu take over. A white screen had popped up and had said "New User" at the top. She looked at her father curiously. "It's like you're signing up for an e-mail address. We've tried to make the inauguration as easy as possible. And since it's difficult to get to the actual headquarters, we've developed this. It's much easier and more convenient as well. Not too mention less suspicious."

Anzu wanted to ask what he meant by "less suspicious" but put the thought aside. This was just too much for her to take in at once. She filled out the form that was required before sending it. As soon as she pressed the "enter" key, however, a tray popped out, a small disk being held out. Anzu looked at it quizzically, noting that it was familiar. She then felt her father take her hand, dap her finger with a moist cloth and then pricked her finger with a sterilized needle. "Yipe!" Anzu yelped at the sudden stinging pain in her middle right finger. "What was that for?"

"Well, when you need to get into this room, a blood sample is often taken to identify you. We'll also need your fingerprints and eye scan. After that we'll be able to create your own, personal password that works anywhere and everywhere there's a hidden KCSP door."

"How will I be able to tell where one is? It's not like I was exactly able to see where this door was you know?"

Konami laughed lightly. "Don't worry, you'll know. There's a chip that is implanted in your eyes to help you see."

"I-In my eyes! Isn't that dangerous?"

"Well, the actual chip isn't implanted in your eyes directly. What happens is that it's surgically placed in your blood stream and is directed to where your eyes are. It takes about a month for you to be able to see where the doors will be after the surgery, but that's it. Until then, we'll give you a watch that will indicate if there is a door near you. I highly suggest that you keep the watch even after you can see the doors on your own. You'll never know where a door is if you're not in the same room as it, understand?" Anzu nodded.

After everything had been finished, Anzu and Ani began working on a unique password only Anzu would be able to identify herself with. After everything was completed, they went back to the living room, a worn out Anzu descending the stairs clumsily in their wake. This was too much for her in one day. All she wanted to do was take a nap and open her letter.

She gasped. "Oh my gosh! My letter! I completely forgot about it!" She ran over to the letter on the couch where she had left it, a rush of excitement once again clinging to her insides, making them stir. She ripped open the seal carelessly and took out the stationary.

And that's how it all happened. See what I mean when one incident can change your life forever? And now, here I am: two years later and I'm serving and protecting Kaiba and Mokuba without either of them knowing. I didn't know what to expect at first. But then, after the first few months, after I had the ability to see the KCSP "portals" as they are called, I have often found myself following Kaiba around at a distance. Good thing he doesn't go very many places, it'd be harder on me if he did. Mokuba on the other, well, that kid is a COMPLETELY different story! One minute he's in the park and the next he's in an ice cream parlor. Not that he needs more sugar anyway. He's hyper enough as it is when he's not on it. So, that's my life now: completely and absolutely dedicated to my clueless employer Seto Kaiba. Isn't it wonderful?

Huh? Oh, the letter from the academy right? Well... I didn't get in. The reasoning was quite bizarre; I still don't understand it to this day, though I still have the letter. It reads…

Dear Mazaki-san:

Thank you for applying to our dance academy. I must say that on behalf on all of us here on the board for the school, never have we seen a student with such glistening talent and potential, especially someone of such a young age. However, as much as I regret saying this, I am afraid that our academy finds your talent and grace to be too overwhelming for our students here. This academy is used as a prep school to teach those who want to make it to Julliard but still need more practice before actually transferring or applying. I do, however, recommend that you apply directly to Julliard. With your outstanding technique and blooming passion for dance as an expression of yourself and life, you are sure to be accepted.

I do regret not being able to welcome you to our academy, but my blessings are upon you nonetheless. May you fully succeed as a professional dancer in Julliard. You will take the world by storm!

Keep practicing hard—

Maeda, Toru

Figures huh? My one chance at being able to attend the best dance academy in all of Japan so I can eventually go to Julliard and they refuse me because I'm too talented. Life -isn't it... fickle?