The DAH Files
By: Andross937
disclaimer: Neither Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor Destroy All Humans belongs to me in any way. I claim no ownership over either, and am making no profit from this story. The sole purpose for me writing this story is my own personal enjoyment, and so that others may possibly take some enjoyment from it as well. If the owners of either Neon Genesis Evangelion or Destroy All Humans wish it, I will remove this story from the internet completely. If someone is seriously offended by the material in this story, I will take the story down and attempt to remove the offending material before reposting it. If it is impossible to remove the offending material, I will leave the story off the internet all together.
Author's note: I know that I haven't updated any of my stories in months and months, but I had this sitting on my computer for almost as long. It's been boiling in my brain for some time now, and I finally got the motivation (from sheer boredom) to go ahead and work on it a little and post it to see if anyone was interested in it.
This is just a funny little idea I came up with shortly after playing through Destroy All Humans. It's a bit of a crossover of Destroy All Humans and Neon Genesis Evangelion, at least at first. Don't worry, it DOES follow the story of Evangelion, though with a twist as most crossovers do. This is just another story I came up with in my boredom, so I have no idea of I'm going to keep it light or really dive into it, just like when I started my "Boredom" fic. This is just for my entertainment, and hopefully yours.
This story contains spoilers to the end of Destroy All Humans, so if you haven't beaten that game, this may ruin bits for you. Of course, if you don't mind knowing that the good guys (or in the case of the game, the bad guys) win, then you won't have a problem. If you haven't played the game at all, go search for it online and you should be able to figure out what it's about (especially from the name), and be able to follow along easily enough I hope.
Well, I won't bore you any more, so here is the story...
-()-()-()-
A long line of people lined up to step into the booth that would scan them for remaining 'contamination' and root it out. What it was really doing was harvesting all the needed Furon DNA from the human's minds. Since it was advanced enough not to cause any permanent damage, it was doing nothing that would cause suspicion in the humans.
Crypto stood in the window of one of buildings watching the humans enter the booth one by one. It was so easy and clean, it disgusted him. Where was the blood, the pain, where was the blowing stuff up! Ever since he took the role as the president, he didn't get to have any fun anymore. When was he going to get to shoot something again?
"Crypto! Crypto 137!" came the aggravated cry of Pox over the communications link.
"Yeah doc, what is it?" Crypto responded in his usual manor, unaffected by Pox's attitude.
"How goes the harvesting of DNA on Earth?" Pox asked impatiently.
"The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the humans are handing over their brains like the stupid monkeys that they are. Same as it was two hours ago when you asked me." Crypto said with a smirk.
"Yes, well, very good. Make sure things keep going right." Pox ordered. "The sooner we harvest their DNA, the sooner we can invigorate our race's gene pools with that ancient Furon DNA. We may even be able to revive our race's ability to reproduce via birth." Pox said with a little excitement.
"Wait a minute doc, wasn't the point of all of this to harvest their DNA so we could maintain our immortality through cloning? Why would we want to stop that and start reproducing?" Crypto asked in confusion.
"Don't be stupid Crypto! We wouldn't stop cloning ourselves just because we are reproducing again. We would continue on cloning to stay immortal, and with a constant source of fresh Furon DNA, we will never have this problem again." Pox said with a cackle in his voice.
"Uh, yeah doc. Whatever you say... but won't that get our planet pretty crowded?" Crypto asked, still a little confused, which irritated him.
"Of course Crypto! But we do have an empire that spans across nearly a hundred worlds. When we get one filled up, we will start on another one. Besides, we wouldn't reproduce that quickly, maybe a hundred Furons a decade. Still, it will be important to have the best and most suitable worlds ready to live on soon. Which is why I want you to start up another 'booth' system as soon as we have enough Furon DNA. One that will make the humans more obedient." Pox ordered, nearly shouting his orders.
"Alright doc..." Crypto said, pausing a bit. He was still irritated out of boredom, and finally he nearly exploded. "Dang it doc, this is so boring! I don't get to shoot anyone, I don't get to cause destruction, I don't even get to see the humans squirm! All I get to do is sit here and watch them herd themselves through the harvester! I want to do something! I mean, we did design the harvester to be automated so we wouldn't have to sit around watching it all day!" Crypto complained. "Come on doc, give me something to do!" Crypto pleaded.
"Hmm..." Pox considered Crypto's request. Finally he decided something. "Alright Crypto, I do just so happen to have something I want you to do." Pox said, not quite hinting at what it was with his tone, but still managing to sound devious.
"Really! What! Do you want me to get a little 'personal' with the harvesting somewhere? Do you want me to take out a trouble maker! Do I get to nuke something!" Crypto said with a crazed gleam to his eyes.
"I have detected strange energy readings coming from something that the humans refer to as the 'Bermuda Triangle'. I want you to go get in your ship and check it out." Pox said with delight, both from getting to play the scientist role, and from getting to disappoint Crypto.
"Whaaat!" Crypto exclaimed, nearly gagging himself. "Running scans? That's not exciting at all!" Crypto complained.
"Don't complain Crypto, it's more entertaining then watching the humans line up on the street. Now get to your ship!" Pox ordered.
"Alright, alright already." Crypto said grudgingly.
-()-()-()-
Crypto's ship zipped over the ocean with ease, never once slowing down until he reached the area that the humans called the 'Bermuda Triangle'. Once there, he looked with bored eyes out the window, to see nothing but ocean. Activating the ship's scanners, and starting up a comm link with the mother ship, Crypto looked out at the empty sea.
"Hey doc, you sure you detected something? I don't see anything at all." Crypto said in his bored and slightly agitated tone.
"Yes Crypto, I did detect strange energy patterns and signatures. I'm not sure what it is, but it should be twelve hundred meters north of you. You should have it on your scanners now." Pox said.
Sure enough his ship beeped as it detected something north of him. Reading the information, Crypto paused a moment to look again. Whatever was the source of the energy, it was powerful alright. There was enough energy on the scanners to power half the mother ship. Deciding that maybe this wouldn't be so boring after all, Crypto moved his ship to get close to whatever it was.
As he neared the source, it began to move around on his sensors. It was slow, not even a fourth the speed of his ship, but it was moving around in an erratic pattern. When he came within a few hundred feet, Crypto finally saw what it was.
"Doc, you seeing what I'm seeing?" Crypto asked.
Pox looked over what the ship's cameras were displaying. A small ball of light and swirling patterns hovered around in front of the ship. The patterns looked like someone took the image of what was behind the ball of light, and swirled it through a whirlpool of water. Pox immediately began scanning it with the ships sensors now that it was closer.
"Amazing! It seems to be a hole in the very dimensions themselves! If something were to pass through that little ball of light, they may very well end up in another world, in another universe!" Pox exclaimed in amazement.
"Yeah, and what's the other thing that might happen to them?" Crypto asked.
"They could also be shredded to tiny particles that would then be either vaporized or spread through out several separate universes like dust." Pox stated.
"Hmm, sounds great, I think I'll try it some time." Crypto said sarcastically.
"Crypto, whatever you do, you mustn't let that hole reach your ship." Pox said seriously.
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that doc, I don't intend to get shredded by a ball of light anytime today..." Crypto assured him.
Just then the ball of light floated towards Crypto's ship. He yelped a little and moved the ship out of the way. As the ball passed by, it's speed increased to nearly two thirds his ship's max speeds. Just after it passed, it came back at him in an erratic patter. Crypto dodged it's advances again, but just barely. Again the ball of light increased in speeds, this time nearly matching his ship's max speeds.
"Whoa... I think it likes me doc." Crypto said as he dodged again.
"It may be attracted to your ship's engines, or it could be coincidence. Either way, get out of there. You can not allow it to touch you." Pox ordered.
"On my way out." Crypto said as he pushed his ship to its maximum speeds away from the ball of light.
The dimensional hole gave chase, diving for his ship left and right, each time coming back faster then before, until it stopped speeding up, maxing out at over twice Crypto's speeds. Crypto continued to dodge its attempts to collide with his ship, but it was getting mighty difficult.
"I don't think I can loose it doc!" Crypto exclaimed loudly as he dodged it yet again.
"Don't let it touch you Crypto!" Pox ordered.
"Aaarrgh!" Crypto shouted suddenly over the comm link.
The ball of light finally collided with Crypto's ship, and it stretched to engulf the entire ship. In a swirling mass of colors and light, Crypto's ship disappeared from the universe. Still, even as it vanished, the shouting of Crypto remained.
"Crypto you idiot!" Pox shouted in aggravation.
"Uh, doc... I think I'm alright..." came Crypto's voice.
"Crypto, you're alive!" Pox exclaimed.
"Uh, yeah. I'm in one piece, and the ship is still flying, but it got damaged some... Nothing big or nothing, but I don't think anything bigger then it can fit through that hole." Crypto said, a little drained after all the excitement of nearly dying.
"Yes, well, the hole must be allowing us to communicate despite being in different dimensions. Can you give me a video feed?" Pox asked.
"Yeah, sure doc, hold on a second."
Images of what the ship could see soon came onto Pox's screen. Everything looked the same for the most part. It was then that Pox began to receive sensor readings from Crypto's ship. He quickly noticed several things that were big attention grabbers. Such as the fact that while it was still earth that Crypto's ship was on, the island of Bermuda was no longer there. In fact, if the ship's limited sensors were to be believed, several locations on the world were not there.
It was not because they didn't exist, no. It was because they were covered in water. It seemed that something happened that caused the ice in the north pole of the world to melt and the water to cover much of the earth. This peaked Pox's interest.
"Crypto, I want you to fly carefully over the planet and take more extensive sensor readings. Be careful not to allow any humans or whatever lives on that planet to detect you. Also, get a good set of readings on any humans you come across." Pox ordered. "When that is done, return to the mother ship."
"Yeah, yeah, alright." Crypto said as he piloted the ship towards the nearest land mass.
-()-()-()-
It had been nearly two hours of flying around and taking readings and avoiding detection by the natives, and Crypto was getting just a little bored by it all.
"This is more boring then watching the dumb monkeys line up to have their brains sucked!" Crypto exclaimed as he took yet another scan.
Okay, so he was getting really bored by it all.
"I mean, at least then I get a chuckle from seeing how incredibly stupid they are. Here, I'm having to actually avoid detection by them." he continued on.
"We have to be careful of this different dimension Crypto. We know absolutely nothing about it. The humans could be a hundred times more advanced in this dimension then in our own. What if they are truly a force to be dealt with in this new dimension?" Pox questioned.
"I could just go blast a few and find out how tough the really are you know..." Crypto suggested in a grumble, becoming agitated with the idea of possibly being beaten by this primitive, un-evolved, and utterly stupid race of monkeys.
"And what if they are aligned with some other, more advanced alien race from that dimension? A race that could possibly match us in technology and military might?" Pox asked.
"You know, that gives me an idea..." Crypto began, getting a glint to his eyes. "Why don't we try and contact the Furons of this dimension?"
"Why, that's a grand idea Crypto! We could trade technology, information of our dimensions, resources, and work together to solve what mysteries of the universes and dimensions that still elude our understanding!" Pox exclaimed.
"Actually, I just wanted to know if there was another me here, and if he liked blowing stuff up as much as I do." Crypto stated.
"Yes, well..." Pox began, a little miffed that his hopes weren't fully shared by Crypto. "I'm sure that if, indeed there is a Crypto living in this dimension, he will enjoy destruction and carnage as much as you do." Pox answered, before wondering if there was another Pox there that was as brilliant as he himself was.
Probably not. After all, he was too brilliant for there to be another like him anywhere...
"We will now attempt to use the ship's communications systems to make first contact with the Furons of that dimension...! Crypto! Break through the atmosphere and take a position one thousand miles above the moon of that Earth. Try not to let your signal bounce back at the planet... we don't want to have the humans thinking that we're talking to them."
"Yeah, yeah... I hear ya big cheese." Crypto said as he flew straight up for a while, just long enough to get out of the atmosphere of the planet.
"Big what!" Pox shouted.
"Nothin' at all." Crypto said as he started a course towards the moon.
"Hmm..." Pox said as he looked at the read outs the ship's sensors were giving him now that the ship was in space.
"Would you drop it already doc! It's just something I heard a meat-bag say once." Crypto said while rolling his eyes, sort of.
"Shut up Crypto. I have long since forgotten your foolish speech. What I'm looking at now speaks of these humans having a much more effective and advanced satellite network. You had better move to just ten miles over the center of the dark side of their moon. You don't want any of their satellites taking snap shots of your ship." Pox explained.
"Sure think doc." Crypto said as he quickly moved to where Pox had ordered him to. "Alright, we're ready to transmit." he said with a small grin. At least getting to talk to alternate dimension Furons was more entertaining then avoiding detection by the puny humans.
"Very well. Begin by transmitting the usual spectrum of identification and security codes to Furon. Follow that with this transmission I'm sending your ship now..." Pox said, getting a little anxious to talk to the Furons of that dimension.
Crypto began to transmit the codes and messages Pox had ordered him to. He waited for three minutes with no results.
"Do it again." Pox ordered.
"Sure thing doc." Crypto said with a shrug.
Another five minutes passed with still no results.
"Send it all again Crypto..." Pox ordered. "Actually, keep sending it once every thirty seconds. And widen the direction to include anything and everything within several hundred light years of Furon." Pox said in frustration.
"Alright doc." Crypto said with another eye roll, though no one could really tell that he had done so.
-()-()-()-
"Doc, I've been doing this for almost twelve whole hours... I'm getting more bored then when I was scanning the stupid planet!" Crypto shouted at his communications, and effectively, at Pox himself.
"Yes. I myself grow somewhat tired of this exercise in futility. For now we will have to assume that something happened in that dimension to prevent our race from so much as evolving, or at the very least they have moved beyond our area of space for some reason. Return to scanning the planet Crypto." Pox ordered.
"Great..." Crypto mumbled to himself in some amount of disgust, but did what he was told to do anyways.
Suddenly the sensors in the ship came alive with lights and annoying sounds of beeps and squeals. The ship was buzzing and lighting up with alarms as it told of detecting a very large energy source. It was possibly as large as the energy it would take to power the mother ship, and was coming from the planet.
The island the humans referred to as Japan to be exact. Pox's eyes widened at the information coming from the ship's sensors.
"Crypto! According to these readings, that energy is coming from a living creature!" Pox shouted.
"What the hell could put out that much energy!" Crypto asked in shock.
"I have no idea Crypto... It must have been shielding itself before and come out of hiding while you were behind the moon." Pox determined.
"More importantly... does it go boom?" Crypto asked with his grin returning full force.
"Perhaps Crypto, but I would much rather study it first. Think of all that we could learn from such a creature! All the advancements in our own science we could make because of such a creature!" Pox exclaimed.
"Oh yeah... I guess. That sounds a little boring though." Crypto complained.
"Think of all the possible... weapons advancements that could be made." Pox said in a devious tone, knowing that would catch Crypto's attention.
"To China!" Crypto shouted in excitement.
"Japan Crypto." Pox corrected.
"Japan!" Crypto echoed in as much enthusiasm as before.
-()-()-()-
"9, 8, 7..." Hyuga calmly counted down.
Well, he counted as calmly as could be expected of him since the thing he was counting down to would potentially determine the fate of all human kind.
"High energy output detected in target!" Maya exclaimed as her eyes were focused on the instruments.
"No! Not again!" Ritsuko shouted in shock.
Their plan was going down the drain, and unit 01 might be blown away before it even gets to shoot.
"3, 2, 1. Fire now!" Hyuga shouted.
Shinji had the target lined up with the computer, and exhaled sharply as he pulled the trigger tight in his grip.
The bright positron beam fired from the barrel of the cannon, the same instant that the angel's own positron beam fired. The two beams approached each other at incredible speeds, before meeting in the middle. The two beams were only separated by a matter of less then one hundred feet, and it was more then close enough to cause a reaction in both beams of pure destruction. They suddenly bent and swayed in their paths, curving to get away from each other before continuing on in their now altered paths.
Each beam missed its intended target. The one headed for unit one passed over its shoulder and exploded against a mountain. The beam headed for the angel did the same, also making a brilliant light behind the angel.
All this was witnessed by a cloaked alien ship that hovered over twenty thousand feet above the scene that was playing out below.
"Did we miss?" Misato asked, still in some shock from what she had seen, and hoped that her eyes had merely played a trick on her.
"Enemy shield has broken into the Geo-front." Aoba said, pulling the major out of her daze with an awful feeling in her gut.
"Hurry, second shot!" Misato quickly ordered, but everyone was already working quickly to do just that.
"Replacing fuses, initiating recharge." Hyuga reported in a hurried tone.
"Barrel cooling in progress." came the voice of one of the other staff members, though Misato was too caught up to catch which one it was.
"We've got another high energy reading building inside the target!" Maya said excitedly, though she was none too happy about it.
"Not now!" Misato screamed as she leaned forwards and looked out at the fifth angel.
Lines of energy began to build up in the black line between the diamond shell of the angel, coming together at the diamond point that was aimed right for the Eva. It was glowing red hot by now, preparing to finish the Eva with this second shot. Misato's breath got caught in her throat as she watched the beam spit out of the angel, no second shot from the Eva's cannon to stop it from reaching its target.
"Look out Shinji!" Misato screamed in desperation.
The beam cast its bright light against Shinji's Eva, and he very well almost shut his eyes to brace himself for the intense pain that was coming, finally having to look away from the beam before it struck him.
It never touched him.
Shinji looked back in near shock to see Evangelion unit 00 standing between him and the angel's deadly beam with only the shield they had made for it to keep the beam from hitting the Eva directly.
"Ayanami!" Shinji shouted, having forgotten that she was there completely when the blast was coming for him, and now extremely concerned for her safety.
"The shield can't last that long...!" Ritsuko voiced what everyone was thinking to themselves.
"Are we ready!" Misato asked, the worry for both pilots more then evident in her voice.
"Ten more seconds!" Hyuga shouted, almost screaming at the counter to tick faster.
"Hurry up." Shinji said as calmly as he could, though the strain in his voice was heard by everyone.
He watched in anxiety as Rei's Eva was standing just a few hundred feet in front of him, practically on top of him as big as Evangelions are, with its shield beginning to melt. Rei stood there, completely silent and still as the shield was melting away in her hands. Shinji could only imagine the pain she was going through, and about to go through when the shield gave way.
"Hurry up!" Shinji shouted this time as the timer was almost gone.
Then it happened.
Evangelion unit 00's shield gave way and the beam crashed onto the Eva's armor, burning and melting it easily. Shinji was panicking, but could do nothing as the last two seconds passed by with Rei almost screaming, or so he imagined he could hear her cries of pain. Yet time passed at its incredibly slow seeming pace before it was finally time to fire. Shinji already had the shot lined up as before, and he pulled on the trigger so hard that he could swear that he heard a crack come from the controls.
The cannon fired a beam just along the angel's own deadly blast, proving to be just as deadly itself when it broke straight through the angel's AT-field and pierce the core of the angel. The angel's own blast stopped immediately. Time seemed to warp again, before resuming its usual pace with a bang. The back of the angel exploded outwards and the Eva's beam tore into another mountain.
"Yeah! We made it!" Misato screamed excitedly, happy that Shinji had saved them again.
"Ayanami!" Shinji shouted as he saw her Eva slump down suddenly.
-()-()-()-
"What the heck was all that!" Crypto shouted from where he had been watching, his face plastered against the window.
"I truthfully have no idea Crypto. But, whatever just happened, the humans seem to be in charge of the purple and orange creatures. These puny minded monkeys have advanced much farther then the ones from our dimension." Pox answered, still in some shock from what he had just witnessed.
They continued to watch as the purple Eva practically tore open the neck of the orange Eva. When plugs were ejected, and a young human boy leaped from the purple unit and ran for the plug to the orange Evangelion, Crypto and Pox's jaws dropped.
"Amazing! Those... creatures seem to be piloted by humans! Human children at that!" Pox said in fascination.
"What are those!" Crypto exclaimed.
"Smaller humans." Pox said off handedly.
"No! I meant the giant things!" Crypto shouted.
"Oh, those... According to the ship sensors, they are some sort of living creatures that the humans have grown and installed control mechanisms in so they can pilot them with... Oh my!" Pox stopped reading the read outs as he came across something interesting.
"What? What's the matter doc?" Crypto asked.
"The humans pilot them primarily with the use of their minds!" Pox exclaimed, amazed at what the humans had accomplished for being so primitive.
"What?" Crypto asked unbelievingly. "Those stupid monkeys?" he added.
"Yes! The humans have learned how to use their minds to 'synch' with these creatures and use them like their own bodies." Pox said excitedly, his scientific mind having been intrigued.
"Crypto! Get a better scan of the boy that came from the purple creature!" Pox ordered.
"Alright, alright." Crypto drawled a bit as he began to hit the proper controls to take a remote scan. "You want me to go down there and take a more 'personal' scan?" Crypto asked.
"NO!" Pox shouted. "We must not allow the humans to learn of your presence yet. Who knows how many of those things they have! Your preliminary scans of them suggest that they can withstand even the force of a nuclear blast, several even, so we can't 'easily' deal with even one of those things if we were forced to.
"And what about those cords coming out of their-"
"Back ends?" Pox cut into Crypto's sentence.
"Yeah, that's what I was going to say." Crypto said with a shrug.
"It seems to supply them with power. However, if you are thinking of simply cutting those cords, then you should know that they have internal power sources that could keep them running for several minutes. More then long enough to catch your ship and squeeze you like a human head casing." Pox explained.
"Heh, heh." Crypto couldn't help but laugh a little at the various memories that brought up.
Pox continued to watch the readings from the ship's sensors with incredible interest. Line after line of information filtered over the screen in front of his beady black eyes. He narrowed his eye lids before shouted in excitement.
"Ah ha! I was correct!" Pox declared.
"You were right about what?" Crypto asked, somewhat agitated about not getting to blow up a single thing the entire time he had been in this alternate dimension.
"These humans have enormous psychic potential! They have several times the potential that the humans of our dimension have! It's amazing, especially since I can find no traces of Furon DNA in their own DNA. Amazing! It's almost like they grew incredibly stronger without the hindrance of our Furon DNA in them. Since the Furons of that dimension may have never existed, they never interacted with the humans, so no Furon DNA, but that has only seemed to help them develop..." Pox tapered off for a few moments as he continued to read the sensor readings.
"You're saying that we may have actually hurt these monkeys development in our dimension?" Crypto asked, finding it hard to believe that Furon DNA did more harm then good for the unintelligent monkeys.
"Not exactly. It's true that it may have held them back... or it could be that these humans have had another event occur that increased their psychic potential somehow during their evolution. Take another scan from one of the other humans in that small structure!" Pox ordered.
Crypto didn't bother answering as he aimed the sensors at the building and began to take readings.
"Interesting..." Pox tapered off again.
"So? What are you looking for?" Crypto asked.
"It seems that the 'adult' humans are less psychically gifted, though they too are much higher in potential then the humans of our dimension. It also seems as if the humans of that dimension have yet to truly realize how gifted they really are, and what manipulation they have mastered is in controlling those giant creatures... hmm." Pox hummed to himself for a few moments.
Crypto was getting a little worried about the doc. He hadn't suggested a single devious thing since they saw the giant creatures. That reminded him about the giant diamond shaped monster that had been blown away. The scans earlier had revealed that it was the source of the enormous energy they had detected.
"Crypto!" Pox suddenly shouted.
"Yeah, what is it? Do I get to blow something up?" Crypto asked.
"No. No Crypto, I don't believe it would be worth it do directly spend any resources in taking over this new dimension." Pox answered.
"What!" Crypto asked in disappointment.
"Perhaps in ten or twenty years we could afford to return and begin to expand into this dimension, but not right now. Instead, I have something much more... advantageous for us in mind. Continue to observe the boy human. The one from the purple creature. He seems to be under a security detail from the other humans... when he is alone, and I do mean alone! I want you to swoop down and pull him into your ship. I want you to take him alive and completely unharmed. Do you understand me Crypto!" Pox shouted.
"You mean I get to have no fun." Crypto stated in a small growl.
"Yes! I want you to bring him to me in as good of condition as you found him Crypto! I have a devious plan, and he may be the key. Once you have him, bring him back to our dimension and to the mother ship." Pox ordered.
"Alright... you planning on playing the mad scientist and dissecting the human?" Crypto asked with as much excitement as a kid talking about pin the tail on the donkey.
"Something like that Crypto. What I intend to do the boy will have little to no harm on him... if it works. We shall see when you are able to bring him here." Pox commented.
"Well then, let's hope that he gets alone soon." Crypto said as they both watched a retrieval team come for the pilots.
Things were about to get interesting for that puny human.
-()-()-()-
Author's Note: Thanks for sitting through the first chapter of The DAH Files... the name is a working title that I may change if I can come up with something better later. Things are just getting started for the alien plot for Shinji. What do the Furons have planned for our young self-hating hero? What ever it is, let's hope it doesn't involve the anal probe. See ya next chapter!
