Just a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone so I quickly wrote it down, so I can return to my studies again. Unbetaed.

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„Mom, can we talk?"

Surprised at the voice Veronica looked up from her paperwork. In the door to her office stood Alexis. Slowly she put away the file for her current case and signaled her to sit. It had to be something important, if her eldest took time of work, only to drive all the way up to Neptune to talk.

Patiently she waited for the young woman opposite her to begin. That was something she had to learn raising her children. Patience. And it had been a hard lesson to learn but eventually it stuck. Alexis had been a surprise. They hadn't planned for her and honestly she couldn't have come at a worse moment. He had just been promoted and had to spend half his time in Washington and she had been so wrapped up in trying to make Neptune a better place and defending those who didn't have the money and contacts to do it themselves. She had been completely out of her wits when she first stared at that test in her hand. A test she had only taken, because Mac had practically forced her into it, after she had thrown up her breakfast for the third time in a row. All their fears of becoming like their parents, of failing their children, hadn't helped. But they had gotten through it and when they first held little Alexis, they had both instantly fallen in love. Especially her father. Despite Veronica's best attempts, only when he had held his baby daughter for the first time, had Logan finally let go of the notion he could ever be anything like his father. Though they loved all their children equally, Alexis had helped them heal the wounds of the past. And now she was twenty five, a grown woman herself, a lawyer, like her mother had been and they couldn't be prouder.

Eventually Alexis met her mother's gaze and spoke. "Paul proposed."

Veronica slowly nodded. It wasn't really a surprise. Alexis and Paul had been dating for seven years now. In the beginning Logan had struggled in accepting the other man in his little girls life, a situation Veronica's own father had gleefully enjoyed, but after two years and witnessing Paul's honest love and care for his eldest daughter, he had had given in and welcomed to the family.

"And? What did you say?"

Alexis hesitated and finally admitted. "Nothing, I just up and ran away."

A snort from the office door interrupted them.

"Like mother, like daughter!" Mac grinned and handed Veronica a new folder

"Oh shut up!" Veronica said grinning.

"Ha, you're the queen of running away!" Mac made her way to the door.

"And don't forget to close the door behind you!"

A loud laughter came from her friend before the door fell shut.

Veronica rolled the eyes and returned her attention back to her daughter. "So why did you run?"

Alexis shrugged.

"Does he make you happy?"

Her daughter nodded without hesitation.

"Then why run?"

"Because … because, what if it doesn't work out? What if he does something stupid or I do and we end up hurting each other? Or worse hating? And why do we have to marry at all? That's so final! So many marriages fail and end in divorce and people who once loved each other end up hating each other and fighting over everything, the car, the house, the kids, the pets, the tv, the books. I know! I see it happen everyday!"

Veronica had to grin internally. Sometimes it was scary just how similar Alexis was to Veronica, not only in looks.

"Your father and I have been married happily for twenty years now."

"You're one of the lucky ones."

At that Veronica had to grimace. She had never expected anyone would consider her lucky, but Alexis didn't see her mother's reaction and just ranted on.

"Uncle Dick, Uncle Wallace, Aunt Mac, Grandpa, they all went through divorces. Who is to say the same won't happen to Paul and me? How can I be sure? How were you sure?" Finally Alexis stopped, her eyes returning to her mother.

Veronica sighed. "Alexis, listen … you know about your father's and my relationship. We were hardly an easy couple. It took us years and nine years without each other to make our relationship work and get over all our issues ..."

"Yes, I know, and I know a functioning relationship isn't luck, but hard work. But how did you know this time it would work? How were you sure?"

"I wasn't." Veronica answered.

Confused her daughter stared at her.

"I don't think anyone is ever sure or if they are, they delude themselves. In life there is no certain. My relationship with your father could have failed at so many points during the last thirty years it's actually a miracle it didn't."

"Then … why did you say yes, when daddy proposed? Was it just because of me and Lucas?"

"Oh, sweety, no. We had loved each other and been in a relationship for almost ten years by that time, had lived together for seven and had you, our beautiful baby girl. We had raised you just fine without a marriage certificate and we could have done the same with Lucas and later Michael."

"Then why?"

"Well, for one, your father is a very good looking man and I was getting seriously tired of all the women who thought just because he didn't wear a ring, he was free game ..."

"Mom!" Alexis interrupted annoyed.

"Sorry, not helping. Ok. Why did I say yes?" she closed her eyes and thought back. "I had found the ring a couple of weeks early, when I was looking for a pair of old socks for you to craft with in kindergarten. And I completely freaked out. Just like you, I didn't know what to do. I loved him, of course, we had a beautiful daughter and a second child on the way, but I was so scared that a marriage would change something. I worked myself into a frenzy, believe me. I actually took you and drove to Mac's to hide."

Veronica laughed at herself, while her daughter listened speechless. She had of course heard the story of her parents relationship, how could she not? Large parts of it were all over the internet. Love, death, deception, murder, rape, tragedy. He parents life had been more dramatic than any Hollywood movie. But to her, they had always only been her parents. Deeply in love with each other, if occasionally fighting, devoted to their relationship, their family and their jobs. At times they had almost seemed like superheros to her. A crime fighting mother who had almost single-handedly taken down corruption in Neptune and a dad who was an All-American hero who protected the world. And now, to actually hear how insecure her mother had been … it was reassuring almost.

"So what did Aunt Mac say?"

Veronica grinned. "She rolled her eyes, told me I was an idiot, but I could stay for the night. The next day I went home and told your father some bogus story about a case. I was still freaked out and didn't know what to do. And I still didn't know, how to answer when he eventually really did propose. There he was, actually kneeling in front of me in the sand, the man I loved so much, the father of my children and looked up at me with so much love and I … I was just speechless. I was just about to panic, but I realized I couldn't run from this. So I thought and I realized something very important, I didn't just love him … he also made me happy, had made me happy for ten years. We both had been through so much in our lives, why was I looking for certainty when I had learned at fifteen that something like that didn't exist. When I let go of the notion that I needed certainty, that loving, being loved and being happy together, was all that mattered, I stopped being scared of what the future might bring … and I said yes." Veronica concluded, her gaze returning from the past and refocusing on her daughter. "And ever since that day, on every of our wedding anniversaries, I sit down for a moment and conscientiously ask myself, if I am still happier with your father, than I would be without him. The answer has always been yes. Through the terrible year when Michael was so sick and I stayed at the hospital with him, through the two years of his oversea stationing, when we couldn't go with him and through every fight and argument. I was still happier being married to Logan, than I would have been alone or with anyone else."

"What you're saying is … I shouldn't ask myself if I love him enough, but if me makes me happy?" Alexis asked.

"I know you love Paul and he loves you and that is important for a marriage, but it's not going to be enough if you don't make each other happy as well. We can love people and they can love us and we can still make each other unhappy, as evident in your father and mine teenage years. So, yes, the important question is, are you happier with him in your life than you could be without him? If the answer is yes, then there is no reason not to marry him."

Alexis thoughtfully stared at her fingers. Eventually she stood up and hugged her mother. "Thanks mom."

"Always, sweety. So shall we expect to see you and Paul at Saturday's dinner?"

"We'll see, I'll call you." she smiled happily and with a last wave left the office.

Veronica smiled looking after her daughter and returned to her files.

"Wallace is right, you are such a marshmallow!" Mac's voice came from the intercom.

Veronica hid her face in her hands. "Please tell me, there were no clients listening in." she mumbled.

Mac laughed. "Don't you worry, Bond, only me, but I will so use my knowledge against you. I knew had gone soft, I just hadn't realized just how sappy you were."

"Careful, Q. I know all your secrets." Veronica threatened jokingly before turning of the intercom.

Once again she returned to her files only to reach for her phone and send a quick message.

Did I tell you today, how much I love you and how happy you make me? In case I haven't, here it is. I love you and you make me so happy.

A moment later the phone vibrated.

Likewise sugarpuss


That thing about sitting down on the wedding anniversary and asking yourself if you're still happier with your partner than without them, is something my dad told me once he does. At first I thought it was rather unromantic, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it's the exact opposite.

Let me know what you think.