Gold Lining
Even now, months after leaving Imil, Mia didn't know that much about Felix.
It was a little fact of life that she'd picked up on after Venus Lighthouse, as she and her friends took stock of the fact that not only had the second elemental lighthouse been lit, but that Felix was still intent on finishing the job. Ivan had told them a lot about Master Hammet and his life in Kalay. Throughout the journey, Garet had spoken a lot about Kraden and Jenna. Isaac, even if he spoke little, had still opened up about his family and life in Vale at times. And she'd told them tales of Imil, though apart from that time when wolves came prowling into the village and she had to use her powers to repel them, she had little interesting material to talk about.
But they never discussed Felix, she reflected. Not Isaac, and not even Garet. She knew that he'd been their friend, that he was Jenna's sister, and…that was it. To the untrained ear, one might have got the sense that they barely knew anything about him. But over time, she'd come to realize the truth. There was plenty Isaac and Garet could have said about Felix. They just chose not to. Either it was out of pain, or a desire to wipe him from their memories. To not give voice to the tongues of traitors.
She could only guess, but she figured they were good guesses. She'd told them about Alex, even if her heart had bid her tongue fall silent. She'd told her friends what they needed to know, and that was it.
Still…
The sea was much safer than the Karagol, she reflected. Back then, it was as if they couldn't row for an hour without some monster showing up on deck to make their lives miserable. Heading up to the helm, she saw Isaac at the wheel. Ivan and Garet were down below, gutting some fish they'd caught earlier, and if nothing else, they could at least count it to be cooked.
"Hello," Mia said.
Isaac looked down at her.
"Wondering if you wanted me to take over. You've been at the helm for hours."
"I'm fine," Isaac said.
Mia sighed. "Why do people always say that before they collapse?"
Isaac raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about collapsing?"
"I did. And you'd be surprised what people will say about being fine, even if everything is indicating the opposite."
"Yes, well, I'm fine," Isaac said. "Thanks for asking."
Mia sighed and walked up to the helm. The sea here might have been emptier than Karagol, but the waves were bigger, and it was much colder – she tightened her cloak.
"Cold?" Isaac asked.
"A bit."
He smiled.
"What?"
"You grew up in Imil. Didn't think you can feel cold."
"Oh, so I grow up in Imil, that means I can't feel cold, right?"
"Well…"
"I suppose if someone grows up in Gondowan, they can't feel heat?"
Isaac shrugged. "Could be possible."
"It isn't."
"Could be."
"No, it isn't," Mia said. "I've treated everything from fevers to hypothermia. There's an ideal temperature for all of us. If we can't meet it, we either cool ourselves down, or…" She tugged on her cloak. "You know."
"Guess I do."
Mia stood there, unsure about what to say. She'd noticed, and hadn't been the only one to do so, that Isaac had become much more talkative after leaving Lalivero. Up until now, a lot of what he'd said had felt like "yes" and "no" – simple answers for not so simple questions. Oh sure, he could open up at times. Might even crack a joke now and then. But it was Garet who'd done the talking. Garet, who'd kept talking about Jenna, and refused to mention Felix any more than was necessary. Garet who talked, Ivan who'd listened, and Isaac who remained silent.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
He looked at her, with the same look he'd once had when they'd discussed their pasts. The look that said that Isaac knew and saw a lot, but rarely gave voice to her.
"Fine," he murmured.
"Is that it? Fine?" she asked.
"Fine," she said. "How about you?"
"Me?" she asked.
"Well, you're a long way from home. You're chasing after someone that I'm guessing you'd rather not have to. And we've already let two of the lighthouses be lit."
"Isaac, you realize I could ask that sentence word for word right back at you, right?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"But?"
He sighed. "Never mind."
A silence lingered between the two of them. Isaac kept his gaze on the horizon. Mia kept his gaze on him…longer than might have been appropriate, but he didn't seem to notice the staring. He seemed oblivious to her presence, period.
"Do you think we'll find them?" Mia asked eventually.
Isaac glanced at her. "What?"
"The others," she said. "Jenna. Kraden. Alex." She took a breath. "Felix."
"We'll find them," Isaac said.
"I'm hoping we do, but-"
"The landmass that broke off from Lalivero was last seen drifting east," Isaac snapped. "So we sail east. If you've got a better plan, I'd like to hear it."
Mia did her best to look and sound impassive, even if she was anything but right now. "I didn't mean to say…I mean…"
"I know," Isaac said. "I'm sorry."
He let out a sigh and returned his gaze back to the horizon. That same damn horizon. The sun would rise from that horizon. In the early morning, it would fill it with a red hue, reminding Mia of fire, of warmth, of the blood she and her friends had shed, and the blood that might yet hit the floor of the world. Over time, the sun would climb into the sky, and the horizon would return to its shade of blue. Blue sky over blue sea, over four people that were feeling blue in quite a few ways.
Or green, in Ivan's case – Karagol was long ago, and he was having trouble finding his sea legs again.
"If…when, we find them," Mia said. "What happens?"
"We do what we have to do," Isaac said.
She frowned. "Is it that simple?"
"No," Isaac said. "But it's the only plan I have right now."
Is that from lack of planning? Mia wondered. Or lack of will?
She couldn't blame him for it. She was in the same boat, and not just literally.
"I mean, it could be worse," Mia said. She began to pace around on the deck. "I mean, there is a gold lining to this."
"Gold lining?" Isaac asked.
"Yes. I mean, Saturos and Menardi could be with-"
"No, I mean…gold lining?" Isaac asked. He left one hand on the ship's wheel and twisted his body around to look at Mia. "Don't you mean silver lining?"
"No, I mean gold lining."
"I'm pretty sure…"
"Why would it be a silver lining?" Mia asked, puzzled. "Wouldn't you want clouds to have gold lining?"
"I don't think clouds have any lining."
"Of course they don't, but if you want to make the best of a bad situation, why take gold rather than silver?"
"I don't know, ask whoever made up the saying." Isaac paused. "Is it really gold lining where you're from?"
"Maybe we should ask…" She trailed off. She was going to say "ask Ivan," but that meant leaving Isaac's side. And right now…she didn't want to do that. It was nice seeing him open up. It was nice engaging in conversation, no matter how silly. And it was nice just being with him…not that that meant anything…just talking…just conversation…
"Mia?" Isaac asked.
"Hmm?"
"Ask who?" Isaac said.
"Um…pardon?"
"You said 'maybe we should ask' and then just trailed off," Isaac said.
"I did?"
"Um, yes?"
"Oh, I meant…ask a man I once treated."
"A man."
"Yes," Mia said. She cleared her throat, taking the opening Isaac had left open for her. "The people in my village brought a mercenary to me once. He'd been robbed, bashed, stabbed…if he'd been left out in the snow, he might have bled to death before freezing to death."
"And that didn't happen, I take it?" Isaac said.
"Oh no. Of course not. But he did tell me about the Three Rules of Life."
"Three Rules?" Isaac asked.
"Iron, Silver, Gold. I mean, it's a bit convoluted, but…"
Isaac smiled. "Go on. Tell me."
Mia smiled. "Alright," she said. "There's the Iron Rule – the idea of might making right. The people who attacked him, who stole everything he had? They followed the Iron Rule. It's a rule that no civilized society would follow, but…"
"Some people follow it," Isaac said.
"Some people," Mia agreed, thinking of Saturos. Menardi. Even Alex. "But there's others who follow the Silver Rule – do not do unto others what you would not do to yourself. People who wouldn't attack the man, but wouldn't lift a finger to help either. Live and let live."
"People who aren't you," Isaac said.
"No," Mia said. "As a healer, I have to follow the Golden Rule. There were a thousand reasons to treat that man that day. A thousand more when I treated you, Ivan, and Garet after Mercury Lighthouse. One of them is that I'd want anyone to do the same to me if it came to it."
"It won't come to it," Isaac said.
She couldn't help but smile, even blush. "That's nice of you to say, but-"
"It won't," Isaac said. "I wouldn't allow that to happen."
"That's…thank you."
A silence lingered between them, broken only by the sound of the waves. There weren't even birds this far out at sea, only an endless ocean. They'd lost sight of Gondowan days ago. East, south, north, all other directions were equally vacant of land. Not that she was looking for it right now. Her gaze was fixated on the one at the helm.
"Still think it's silver lining though," Isaac said.
"Huh?" Mia blinked.
"Still think it's silver lining," he repeated. "I mean, maybe it's gold somewhere, but I bet it's silver lining in most parts of the world." He shrugged. "Maybe we'll ask the people when we get there."
"Maybe," Mia said, not sure what to say. The conversation had been going well up to this point. A minute ago, it had gone extremely well. But now, she sensed that the conversation was coming to an end, and damn it, she didn't want that. Not yet. Not when Isaac was talking more. Not when she was talking to him, and finding it easy – so easy in fact that…well, so easy that it had to mean something.
"Fine," Mia said. "Silver lining it is. We've still got one though."
"Oh yes, you mentioned that," Isaac said, smiling. "Alright, I'll play. What's the silver lining?"
"Well…" Mia began smoothing out non-existent creases in her dress. "I mean, we have a boat, right? Saturos and Menardi are dead. So, I mean, there is that…"
Isaac shrugged.
"And if none of this had ever occurred, then we wouldn't have met in Imil."
Isaac raised an eyebrow and she felt like kicking herself. Or, maybe not, as it turned to a smile. She kept her own lips steady, even as her heart began racing as he reached over and put a hand on her shoulder.
"There is that," he said.
Mia nodded, her body otherwise rigid.
"And you're right," Isaac said. "That's all a good lining I guess. Even with Felix-"
"Yes," Mia said, taking the opening. "I notice that you and Garet never talk about him." She reached out with a hand. "I understand that it has you worried, but I promise-"
"It's actually Jenna more than anything."
Mia's hand froze in mid-air. "Jenna?" she asked.
"Yes." He sighed, smiling at Mia. "I haven't even seen her since Mercury Lighthouse. And…I can't stop thinking about her, y'know? Like, we've always been friends, but seeing her, trapped like that. Being away from her…" He sighed. "Please Mia, don't tell Garet, but sometimes I think…well…y'know?"
Mia lowered her arm. Her heartbeat slowed down. Slowed down so much that she felt like the walking dead.
"It's lucky you were there for us after Mercury," Isaac sighed. "Saturos's sword, seeing Jenna again…sometimes I think I might have just let it end there."
"But you didn't," Mia said. "Because of Jenna?"
He shrugged. "It's crazy, I know. But if I could see her again…I mean, Felix will be there as well, but…"
"You'll see them again," said Mia stiffly.
He shrugged. "I hope so." He looked at her. "Must be hard for you too. What with Alex-"
"I'm going to check on the others," Mia said. "See you later, Isaac."
"Yeah…" he said, raising an eyebrow. "See you later."
She'd already turned and started walking away before he finished that sentence. Her feet carrying her along the deck. Her eyes blurred, looking up at the clouds in the sky.
None of which, in this moment of realization, had a lining of any kind.
