"I don't think we're right for each other."
Eight words.
That all it takes.
Eight words to destroy my world.
Eight words to crush my very soul.
Eight words that marked the end.
Since that day.
I don't know what to do with myself.
Since that day.
I try to dull the pain.
To lose myself in things that once brought me joy.
Things that I shared with her.
Yes, everything comes back to her.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her mocking what I thought was fun.
Her complaining of boredom.
Her changing the channel.
Her style in music.
Her hobbies.
I gave everything that I had.
I gave it all to her.
Everything I wanted.
I trusted her.
I loved her.
I still do.
I think about giving up.
I think about ending it all.
I think about it often.
I wonder.
If I told her about it.
I wonder.
If she would come back.
I know she would.
No.
I hope she would.
She would because she is her.
She's too kind.
She's too loving.
She just wants to set me free.
She just wants for me to be happy.
I should at least return the favor.
I won't do that to her.
I won't force her back to me.
I can't force her back to me.
I love her.
I will pray.
But who shall I pray to?
Who would answer my prayers?
The prayers of a sad girl.
The prayers of a weak girl.
The prayers of a selfish girl.
Who would answer?
It doesn't matter.
I will pray to whoever will listen.
I will pray to whoever cares.
I will pray to whoever can help.
I will pray for her.
For her to be happy.
For her to smile.
For her to laugh.
But what of me?
Will I ever be happy?
No.
I cannot be happy.
She understood.
Nobody else does.
She cared.
Nobody else would.
She found me.
Nobody else looked.
I am utterly alone now.
There are people.
People like me.
People who die alone.
It is meant to be.
She will care.
I hope she doesn't.
Don't look back.
Don't see this all as a waste.
I'm fine with it.
So long as you're happy.
I will accept it.
So long as you smile.
If I am to die alone.
It will be with dignity.
Nobody else.
No one else.
Don't trouble me.
Don't bother with me.
Don't try.
Try to understand.
Try to care.
Try to find me.
Nobody else.
I will deal with this on my own.
